Kids say the darndest things.

[karenmeal 0]

I'm sure all of you parents have some cute examples of funny things kids say.

I had a four year old cracking me up this morning at work! This kid has been in speech since he was 2 and is getting ready to graduate. I asked him, "Is it getting kinda old working at this table week after week?" He replied, "Yes, your table is very old, I think you need to get a new table."

He was also full of interesting tidbits about using hand sanitizer to get the poison off of your hands and the importance of checking for volcanoes and bugs before you go swimming.

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[JohnMitchell 14]

When my oldest daughter was 3 or 4, the movie Little Mermaid was very popular. One day she asked me "Dad, what are mermaids?"

I answered "Well, I guess they're half human and half fish."

She smiled and kind of nodded like that was the answer she expected and then she said "That means we can only eat the tail, huh?"

[karenmeal 0]

Hahah! Nice.

"Life is a temporary victory over the causes which induce death." - Sylvester Graham

[vskydiver 0]

That same daughter that John was referring to, when she was small, also called the neighborhood a "neighborGood" for a long time. I guess because it was a good place to live? She also told us once that she knew why our minivan was called a minivan. We asked her why that was and she said because it held many people. Many and mini sound a like to a small child I suppose.
When she was 2 years old we went camping with my parents. My mother took her into the bathroom stall with her and I went into the stall next door to them. Next thing I heard was, "Grandma! You have HUMONGOUS underwear!" How embarrassing! At the same time it was pretty cool that a two year old could put together a sentence like that with the word "humongous" in it. Most 2 year olds only put two simple words together. My Mom was very impressed with her. My daughter is now 22 years old, she doesn't say such cute things anymore.

[Andy0689 0]

On one of our snow days this winter, my 4-year old came inside. When my wife asked him why he came in his reply was that he was "frozen salad" instead of frozen solid.

Andy
I'll believe it when I see it on YouTube!

[virgin-burner 1]

i dont have my own, but i find great pleasure in manipulating them into asking their parents embarrassing questions..



i'm a good uncle, godfather and part-time dad..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[muff528 3]

When mine was 4 or 5 I tried to pull the old "Kids in China are starving and would love to have that" routine to get him to finish his plate. He got a puzzled look on his face and said, "Don't they have a lot of restaurants?!?" (we did go to Chinese restaurants often.)

[robskydiv 0]

My six year old daughter says: "Love cuts the cheese off badness." I think it's a version of a proverb: "A kind answer turns away wrath."

[skydived19006 4]

My eight year old couldn't find a clean bowl to eat ceral from the other day, so I taught him how to clean one. He then refused to use it since it wasn't dry. Said that his milk would get soggy.

My just turned seven year old has always had a problem pronouncing the "S", though not so much any more. "Swimming" sounded like "women" and at four he was taking "women lessons."

When he was three or so he used to make up examples of how much he loves me. Things like "I love you all day and all night." We still go through a list of his "I love you..." at bed time. I've recently added a couple, fav is "Love you long time."

Experience is what you get when you thought you were going to get something else.

AC DZ

[davjohns 1]

When my son was young and learning proper English, he came to me one day with his cleaned plate and asked for, "More, please." I said, "You want to put that in a sentence?" He said, "No. I want it on a plate." He wasn't being smart alec. He just knew what he wanted.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[BaronVonBoll 0]

One day, when my daughter was about ten she asked me where do babies come from. Instead of the stork or the birds and be speech, I told her very mechanicly the process of reproduction. When I was done she looked up at me and said, "Your kidding Right?"

[BillyVance 34]

Some time ago I was really sick. Not the flu, just a really bad cold. My wife was horny, but knew I was not in the mood, but told her to go ahead and satisfy herself with her toys.

Well, she thought the door was locked, and it wasn't. Our 4 year old girl went in there to ask her mom something. She didn't see what was going on though (thank god), but she came out to me in the living room and said to me "daddy, mommy has a noise coming from her butt!"



You should have seen the look on my wife's face when I told her what our girl told me.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban