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turtlespeed

How late is late?

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If you don't nip it now...pretty soon she'll have customized her new curfew!

Trying to act on any tardiness thereafter, will be challenged by: ,

" you didn't ground me last time "
or the...
"you didn't say anything last time "



That's not really a challenge...that's just being stupid.

Parent: Fine, you're right you little smart ass...retroactive punishment!

Child: I HATE YOU!

*child stomps off stage right*

:D
Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are...

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My parents didn't give me a curfew as a sign of trust. And look how I turned out!



Well, if you really are running Linux, you didn't turn out that bad.:P


:D:D No I'm not. Mac. I just like penguins :)


Well, I'm on a Mac desktop, using a Linux server.
Also have multi-boot boxes with Solaris/{SPARC,x86}, {Net,Free,Open}BSD.
Oh, did I miss something? Let me see...Nope!:ph34r:
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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My parents didn't give me a curfew as a sign of trust. And look how I turned out!



Well, if you really are running Linux, you didn't turn out that bad.:P


:D:D No I'm not. Mac. I just like penguins :)


Well, I'm on a Mac desktop, using a Linux server.
Also have multi-boot boxes with Solaris/{SPARC,x86}, {Net,Free,Open}BSD.
Oh, did I miss something? Let me see...Nope!:ph34r:


Ummmmm...you lost me at server

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So..how does the guy fit into all this?

You KNOW how guys are...they are going to stall all they can hoping to get some last-second roadhead before arrival.

I'd shoot HIM.
Just wing him as a warning, though.
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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I think it depends on her attitude as well as yours.

If you're not fussed about a precise time as long as it's within a certain timeframe, let her know what that timeframe is. Make it clear in advance what is and what isn't acceptable, and whether there is any leeway (for instance, maybe you're ok with her being late as long as she calls before the curfew passes). Set clear boundaries, define the consequences, and stick to both. I think there is a stronger chance she will respect where you are coming from than if you randomly switch between flipping out and letting things slide...

I'm not a parent, but it strikes me as one of those occasions where clarity and consistency are the two key ingredients for encouraging good behaviour.
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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How much time is allowed before lateness is enforced?

Daughter was late from the curfew . . . but only a little - how much time should late be late?



When my kid leaves the house I ask him what time he is going to be back. I approve that time or recommend something a little earlier (i.e. sane). I hold him to that time, to the minute. Time is by my clock not his. If he is late he loses privileges. So, I'm strict when it comes to being late but give them the freedom to be responsible.

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Seeing this thread makes me realize just how nice I had it. I think they realized there was nothing I could do at night that I couldn't do during the day. :D They didn't care when I came home, but I was woke up and pulled from bed at same time every morning regardless.

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My son got a lot of leeway on time and location because he'd shown a lot of reliability on time since he was a kid. I figured that the best way to show positive consequences was to remind him that the reason he got leeway was because he'd demonstrated responsibility, and that if he'd demonstrate responsibility in other areas, he'd get more leeway there, too.

Not to mention that if consequences are always only negative, well, what's the incentive to go above and beyond?

He's a responsible, effective, happy adult now. I'm very proud of him.

When I was growing up, I got even more leeway on time. No curfews; I just knew one of my parents would be waiting for me when I got home, and would expect to discuss the evening's entertainment with me. Which meant I'd better be able to do so.

Wendy P.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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...AND notice if her shirt was on backwards,

obviously I didn't , but my Mom did [:/]



You just made my blood pressure go up.:|
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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So..how does the guy fit into all this?

You KNOW how guys are...they are going to stall all they can hoping to get some last-second roadhead before arrival.

I'd shoot HIM.
Just wing him as a warning, though.



Put a pair of wire cutters in his back pocket, that makes it legal to kill him on your property at night in TX.

:P
"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

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Something I learned as a 17yo:
A local cop can get really pissy when he catches you for the
second time out after legal curfew...on the same night.:P

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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Hey, no worries...;)

That happened to me almost 40 years ago...:$

things are much different with teen's these days [:/]
----------------------------------------------------
BTW:

I'm so glad you started this thread...it's nice to have a good laugh...the reply's & post's of days gone by are hysterical...sorry it's a current event for you !

Just know any soon-to-be future gray hairs, heartburn and/ or anxiety issues are well earned & are in direct cause & affect of your teenager's years

:):(:PB|:$:S>:(:o:D[:/]:|:ph34r:B|:)>:(...all at the same time !

Did I already mention, I'm glad I had sons ?
Best wishes to you !

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Habitual?

She's testing you. There should be consequences.
Make the curfew earlier, grounding, not allowed out next time, something of similar impact.



DING DING DING We have a winner!

g
"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

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Habitual?

She's testing you. There should be consequences.
Make the curfew earlier, grounding, not allowed out next time, something of similar impact.



DING DING DING We have a winner!

g



She's a good kid. She is not habitually late. Mostly late coming home from work, but she usually calls if she has time.

I have checked on her to see if she is where she is supposed to.

I let it slide - but she got a good talking to.

I trust her.
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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Habitual?

She's testing you. There should be consequences.
Make the curfew earlier, grounding, not allowed out next time, something of similar impact.



DING DING DING We have a winner!

g


She's a good kid. She is not habitually late. Mostly late coming home from work, but she usually calls if she has time.

I have checked on her to see if she is where she is supposed to.

I let it slide - but she got a good talking to.

I trust her.


keep trusting her then. Some kids are actually good kids. I surprisingly was a good kid..... at least until I went to college.....;)

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keep trusting her then. Some kids are actually good kids. I surprisingly was a good kid..... at least until I went to college.....;)



I do.

And I will.

And Colege is next.

Anyone got a couple . . . well . . . 85 grand I can have?
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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keep trusting her then. Some kids are actually good kids. I surprisingly was a good kid..... at least until I went to college.....;)



I do.

And I will.

And Colege is next.

Anyone got a couple . . . well . . . 85 grand I can have?


How old is she? Has she taken the PSAT's and the SAT's yet? If not, tell her to study hard core for them. If you do really really well in both, you can get almost a full ride. That's how I got my college mostly paid for.

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keep trusting her then. Some kids are actually good kids. I surprisingly was a good kid..... at least until I went to college.....;)



I do.

And I will.

And Colege is next.

Anyone got a couple . . . well . . . 85 grand I can have?


How old is she? Has she taken the PSAT's and the SAT's yet? If not, tell her to study hard core for them. If you do really really well in both, you can get almost a full ride. That's how I got my college mostly paid for.


Looking into it. Still would like the 85K
Got a gift in ya?
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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keep trusting her then. Some kids are actually good kids. I surprisingly was a good kid..... at least until I went to college.....;)



I do.

And I will.

And Colege is next.

Anyone got a couple . . . well . . . 85 grand I can have?


How old is she? Has she taken the PSAT's and the SAT's yet? If not, tell her to study hard core for them. If you do really really well in both, you can get almost a full ride. That's how I got my college mostly paid for.


Looking into it. Still would like the 85K
Got a gift in ya?


ooo sorry hon. looking for a sugar daddy myself to get me through grad school now...

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