turtlespeed 212 #1 March 21, 2011 How much time is allowed before lateness is enforced? Daughter was late from the curfew . . . but only a little - how much time should late be late?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 619 #2 March 21, 2011 Better than late on her period. Cut her some slack. This time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #3 March 21, 2011 Quote Better than late on her period. Cut her some slack. This time. What if it is habitual? I didn't specify - just answer the question - Suck up!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 619 #4 March 21, 2011 Habitual? She's testing you. There should be consequences. Make the curfew earlier, grounding, not allowed out next time, something of similar impact. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wolfriverjoe 1,339 #5 March 21, 2011 QuoteHow much time is allowed before lateness is enforced? Daughter was late from the curfew . . . but only a little - how much time should late be late? How much is a "little"? A couple minutes? More than 10? Why was she late? Did she call before curfew time and say she was going to be a "little" late? Is it the first time in a while, or does it happen on a regular basis? Kinda like speeding. The limit is what's posted, but there should be some discretion in the enforcment of it, and the severity of the punishment should be appropriate to the degree of the violation. Edit to add: And like speeding, repeated infractions result in greater punishment."There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy "~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #6 March 21, 2011 Quote Habitual? She's testing you. There should be consequences. Make the curfew earlier, grounding, not allowed out next time, something of similar impact. good answer. Small offense, small consequence. 15 minutes late- 30 minute earlier curfew next time. Out all night? Major grounding. My smartass answer was going to be "when is now?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #7 March 21, 2011 I think it depends on how much you like and/or trust the boy she's with!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoadRash 0 #8 March 21, 2011 15 minutes...my dad said 5, but my mom said 15, so I was usually on time, but had that extra 15 in case of some sort of delay. Talk to her about it and remind her of her curfew. Punishing too quickly could cause her to intentionally stay out later or worse, all night just to make you worry. If she does it again though, enforce the curfew with grounding or restrictions. Then again...what do I know...I was only a young teenager and my parents never had to give me a curfew until I was 17 and my Dad freaked out when I stayed out till 3am (I was on the front porch talking to a friend by the way) ~R+R......I was a good girl, most of the time...all right part of the time...... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Fly the friendly skies...^_^...})ii({...^_~... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
diablopilot 2 #9 March 21, 2011 I'm a hard ass. Late is late.---------------------------------------------- You're not as good as you think you are. Seriously. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
monkycndo 0 #10 March 21, 2011 My dad allowed for us to set our curfew. If we were going to be late, he expected a call to say we would be home by X time. If we were later then that.....all hell broke loose. I was never late. If no call and we were late.... don't ask. 50 donations so far. Give it a try. You know you want to spank it Jump an Infinity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
doughboyshred 0 #11 March 21, 2011 Many eons ago when I was a teenager living at home the rules were set in stone. Each minute late was one week of being grounded. Worked good. I was never late. Brother was late once and got grounded for a long time. If you let ten minutes slide, then next time it will be 15 minutes, then if you let that slide it will be 20, etc... etc.. There shouldn't be many rules, but the rules that there are should be solid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #12 March 21, 2011 Quote I think it depends on how much you like and/or trust the boy she's with! Maybe she is dating a guy just like her father. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muffie 0 #13 March 21, 2011 QuoteI'm a hard ass. Late is late. Agreed. First time I ever went out I was about half an hour late. I was nervous walking in the door and my dad gave me the clear indication that he was extremely unhappy with me and said the next time there would be serious consequences. If I'd come home and he'd just shrugged it off I would've decided it wasn't important and acted accordingly in the future. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,380 #14 March 21, 2011 Quote Quote I think it depends on how much you like and/or trust the boy she's with! Maybe she is dating a guy just like her father. Actual conversation I had once with a girl I was dating: Q: "Why do I get the impression your old man doesn't like me?" A: "Oh, he's just worried you are just like he was, when he was your age." "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #15 March 21, 2011 Not a parent, but i might have an idea about dealing with adolescents. Dont have many rules, Try to negotiate the rules with them ahead of time. Don't have a rule you are not going to enforce, and be consistent with your rules and enforcement. If you have more than one offspring, also be consistent between them.You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #16 March 21, 2011 Quotegood answer. Small offense, small consequence. 15 minutes late- 30 minute earlier curfew next time. That's exactly how I handled it with my kids. Does she manage to show up on time to other places, like school or work or even a movie? If so, then she's definitely testing you. Talk to her about the disrespect that she's showing you and it's also a good conversation starter to talk to her about how important being prompt is. A boss would never stand for a person being 10-15 minutes late all the time.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #17 March 21, 2011 Quote Quote I think it depends on how much you like and/or trust the boy she's with! Maybe she is dating a guy just like her father. Her father is dating a guy? - wow (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyMarko 1 #18 March 21, 2011 My parents didn't give me a curfew as a sign of trust. And look how I turned out! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #19 March 21, 2011 It all depends on her attitude about it. If she appears to be concerned about it and realizes that it was a mistake, A mild reprimand may be sufficient. If the attitude is that it is no big deal and you are over reacting, Then that attitude may need to be adjusted. Curfew is curfew. However if she is going to be late, a call will greatly reduce any repercussions. Dont want her Rushing (Read Speeding home) to avoid being a couple minutes late. Call saying I am running a little late should always be preferred over driving like a maniac to get home on time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SarahC07 0 #20 March 21, 2011 Quote I'm a hard ass. Late is late. Apparently, I'm a hard ass, as well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #21 March 21, 2011 Quote Quote I'm a hard ass. Late is late. Apparently, I'm a hard ass, as well. That's because you work out a lot, though. --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #22 March 21, 2011 It depends, was she a little late because it was a long sermon at mass...or did she stroll in at daybreak smelling of cheap whiskey with a joint behind her ear, a new tattoo and her jeans in a ball under her arm? ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beachbum 0 #23 March 21, 2011 Depends on how you laid out the rules for her. When I was that age, if I was going to be even 5 minutes late, I'd BETTER find a phone and call home to warn them. If not, next time out the curfew would be an hour earlier (minimum penalty, depending on how late I was, reason for it, etc.), on up to grounding for a while. These days, with cell phones in nearly every pocket, there is no excuse for not calling.As long as you are happy with yourself ... who cares what the rest of the world thinks? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,380 #24 March 21, 2011 Quote My parents didn't give me a curfew as a sign of trust. And look how I turned out! Well, if you really are running Linux, you didn't turn out that bad."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skygypsie 2 #25 March 21, 2011 Does she have a cell phone ? Biggie on the past curfew forgiveness...if there's a legitimate reason along with a phone call ! If not...it is just a test to see how long she'll be able to stretch it each time ! If she is late, wait up til she gets home ! If you don't nip it now...pretty soon she'll have customized her new curfew! Trying to act on any tardiness thereafter, will be challenged by: , " you didn't ground me last time " or the... "you didn't say anything last time " After my son moved out on his own, I discovered a very straight line, neatly cut along his screen window framework ! It explains why the cranked out window was ajar at times during the winter...he said because he was hot, sleeping He's now 29, & is still telling me things I had no clue about If you can't stay up...make sure you check the basement window latches ! That was my sister's & my...IN, when we were late, & locked out; knowing we otherwise, had to ring the doorbell to get in ! However; when we were late, the house was dark, & the door was UNlocked...we could expect to see the cherry of a lit cigarette sitting at the kitchen table ! When there were 2 lit up cherries...it was inevitable I was in for a good month of scrubbing walls, painting the house & solitude confinement Boy, I'm glad I had SONS !------------------------------------------------------ Re: @ Twardo It depends, was she a little late because it was a long sermon at mass...or did she stroll in at daybreak smelling of cheap whiskey with a joint behind her ear, a new tattoo and her jeans in a ball under her arm? ----------------------------------------------------------- ...AND notice if her shirt was on backwards, obviously I didn't , but my Mom did Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
