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shah269

How much of a turn off is it?

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What's wrong with being specific? I want an active, educated man who isn't a fatass too. What's wrong with that?


Nothing! If you ask me.
But the way our global society is running, You can say that in public and be accepted.
I say that....holy mother of god!
Immagine if I said
"I want an active educated woman who isn't a fatass..."
Do you know the number of nasty posts you would see of people, both guys and gals, calling me all kinds of names? [:/]
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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active, educated, not a mom, never wanting to be a mom...


Active and educated are bad how?
Yes, the not wanting to be a mom or a mom are difficult.
Also you forgot, not allergic to cats. I have two. :)As for cooking and cleaning? I can do both thank you and I'm very good at it. But it would be nice to find someone who is willing to help. Nothing worse than a quiet kitchen. [:/]
As for what she does, what hair color, eye color....or religion...I don't care.

Still think too much? I think one of the ladies needs to start a thread regarding what she wants in a guy.
I bet compared to those lists my list of 10 is nothing.


I think one thing that makes you different from a lot of us is that you know exactly what you want. A lot of people have more general and intangible things they look for in a person, or things they don't even think to voice (like an active person) because it falls under something like "similar interests."

So like what did I want in a man? I wanted someone who would make me laugh, would treat me right, had similar interests, and someone who I could not only respect, but also have fun with. Oh and sexual chemistry and a general eye to eye on the big things.

So like where I just say sexual chemistry, you name what exactly makes you attracted physically to a woman (sub size 8).

I think people may get frustrated with you because you are so specific and possibly feel that you are limiting your options by not being open to a relationship with that awesome size 10 girl (I have an awesome size 10 friend who I seriously would've guessed a 6-8 depending on the brand, and did I mention she's awesome?). You know what I mean?

Anyways, I can't speak for the others but I really hope you find a girl that makes you happy. We can all tell you aren't happy with your situation, and everyone deserves a little happiness in their life :)


What's wrong with being specific? I want an active, educated man who isn't a fatass too. What's wrong with that?


There's nothing wrong with being specific. (Active and educated fall under my "similar interests" category. However, I got lucky I found my husband long before I ever dreamed I thought I would, so I never had to break down my general desires into specific ones).

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What's wrong with being specific? I want an active, educated man who isn't a fatass too. What's wrong with that?


Nothing! If you ask me.
But the way our global society is running, You can say that in public and be accepted.
I say that....holy mother of god!
Immagine if I said
"I want an active educated woman who isn't a fatass..."
Do you know the number of nasty posts you would see of people, both guys and gals, calling me all kinds of names? [:/]


The people who call you names are probably the fatasses. :D (I jest... sort of)

Problem is, most people think you just need to "accept" people how they are. That's fine and all, but not for someone I want to have as a mate for life. I want someone who cares enough about themselves to stay in reasonable shape (and no, round is NOT a shape), not someone who is lazy and doesn't care about health.

Another problem is probably how the specifics are being said. If you say "I don't want a fatass" most people are going to get offended just because you said fatass. If you say you want someone who cares about their body, you'll get a different reponse.

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What's wrong with being specific? I want an active, educated man who isn't a fatass too. What's wrong with that?


Nothing! If you ask me.
But the way our global society is running, You can say that in public and be accepted.
I say that....holy mother of god!
Immagine if I said
"I want an active educated woman who isn't a fatass..."
Do you know the number of nasty posts you would see of people, both guys and gals, calling me all kinds of names? [:/]


Actually, I think that might have gone over better for you :D:P

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Shah, I think it's great you have standards & requirements. & that you're actually solid on them. Too many people are in crappy relationships just to be a relationship. Or they compromise on the basic points they say they want above all else, like monogamy but staying with a repeat cheater. I was just pointing out that you do have those requirements. You shouldn't be ashamed of them or compromise on them. You like what you like, hold out till you find it. I wish you the best of luck in your search ;)

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What's wrong with being specific? I want an active, educated man who isn't a fatass too. What's wrong with that?



Well, I'm out... no to all 3!
"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

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The size 8 thing i have no clue where it came from.
I think a few months back I said "You know a size 8, you know a medium"
As a guy I knew what a size 0 was, dated a few of those...and I have a frew friends who are married to a size 16 so half way looked right. Size 8 AKA medium. As in active as in healthy.....but some just took that and ran with it and it has now become a running joke. :)But yees Amstalder you are 100% right, I have in a way painte myself into a corner with respect to knowing exactly what I'm looking for.
But please remember I was already married once. From that I can look and say "this was good" and "this was not good".
Case in point, I LOVE indoor rock climbing. As a part of being "active" it would be very nice if she liked indoor rock climbing. It's not so much about her "looks" but more to do with.....I want a partner, a friend and someone to enjoy life with.
And thank you for the + karma :)



You're probably right about us twisting your words :P. Btw, I like that explanation of your size 8 requirement.

God forbid I ever get divorced, but I'd imagine my relationship requirements would be come quite a bit more rigid as well.

But seriously, I know you're lonely, but don't lie to a girl just to get to date number 2! What good are those standards if you don't stick to them? :)

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What's wrong with being specific? I want an active, educated man who isn't a fatass too. What's wrong with that?



Well, I'm out... no to all 3!


Well, #2 is flexible. I don't mean I want a PhD or anything, but don't be a moron. ;)


I'm not a moron on most things, and even with a 2 year degree (from a college that no longer exists) I do better than most people my age, who generally have a B.S.

:)
"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

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Well for me it's this.
I paid for my X wifes education.
Not only for tution but also by taking care of the house and making dinner and all that jazz so that all she has to focus on was her education.........I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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How long has this discussion of dating preferences gone on with you, three years now? Look man you seem like a nice non violent relatively stable human. One who also applies scientific critical thinking.

Remember that we live in an insecurity based society and the majority of people are going to date based on those insecurities to be satisfied by the person that they are with. Sad....but true.
So
Try this analytical experiment. Casually observe the type of women you desire to date- no, NOT using binoculars OK, just in your travels through the week. Now notice the kind of guys they seem to be fucking and draw a profile based on the MAJORITY of that population sample. Now ask yourself honestly if you are in that league, incomebracket, ethnicity, height/weight, appearance,etc.
See what I am doing here, it is the reflection of your screening process, not so much fun when you shine the light of reality on yourself is it?
If you don't fit those criteria, then ask yourself what special attribute you might have that they would want.


The second set of criteria are breeding/rearing standards, since you are a condom wearing hedonist and don't want kids that eliminates that- No harm no foul there.

Now you see you either have to widen your bandwidth of selection or focus heavily on your skills to improve your datability/fuckability quotient with your intended demographic.

Also try setting your distance parameter to 500 miles or so, or even to another country.

As I told you before, just when you think you've got your parameters figured out someone outside of your bandwidth is going to fry your router and blast your screen. Who knows; That might be a dude, a tranny, a granny, a cougar, a stay at home mom, some kinky leather wearing BDSM librarian... whatever, free your fucking mind.

I reached this epiphany when I found myself happily being jumped on by a black woman from a completely different background bouncing her large titties off of my face- after my sight and hearing returned and I was able to form words again I realized that it is an off the rack world and it is not wise to limit your possibilities for true happiness, and some pretty damn good sex.
Cheers Zippy.
Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

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OMG! I got it!

If you're taking a woman out for dinner and she asks "Do you want children?" look at the menu and reply "Tempting, but I think I'll just have fries..."

As the funniest thing anyone has ever said in the history of time EVER she'll instantly burst out laughing, forget the question, fall madly in love with you and definitely put out.

Thank me once you've notched your bedpost.
My skydiving - http://unstable-exits.blogspot.com/

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OMG! I got it!

If you're taking a woman out for dinner and she asks "Do you want children?" look at the menu and reply "Tempting, but I think I'll just have fries..."

As the funniest thing anyone has ever said in the history of time EVER she'll instantly burst out laughing, forget the question, fall madly in love with you and definitely put out.

Thank me once you've notched your bedpost.





:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

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OMG! I got it!

If you're taking a woman out for dinner and she asks "Do you want children?" look at the menu and reply "Tempting, but I think I'll just have fries..."

As the funniest thing anyone has ever said in the history of time EVER she'll instantly burst out laughing, forget the question, fall madly in love with you and definitely put out.

Thank me once you've notched your bedpost.





:D:D:D:D:D:D:D


+ a bijillion!

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Still think too much? I think one of the ladies needs to start a thread regarding what she wants in a guy.
I bet compared to those lists my list of 10 is nothing.




Here's my list of mandatory requirements. Sure there are a lot of "hey, it might be nice if he were..." but these are the absolute must haves:


Education isn't a requirement... I don't care if someone has a college degree or how many letters they can put after their name. Now, intelligence and curiosity about the world we live in is mandatory. If I can't have a decent conversation with a guy, he could look like Nathan Fillion and I wouldn't be interested. Intelligent conversation and a good sense of humor is probably the most attractive feature a man can have.

Active isn't a requirement - I've dated all kinds of people, from marathon runners to people who are more sedentary. All that's important is that they're supportive of me when I want to be active. If they don't want to rock climb with me, that's fine, but maybe learning how to belay would be nice, or at least not complaining and being understanding that I do lead an active lifestyle when my health allows it (this includes tolerating my firearm collection and trips to the shooting range. They don't have to go or shoot, but whining at me when I go is not cool. Ditto for renaissance faires/dropzone/etc...). I don't care if someone's got some extra pounds as long as they take reasonable care of their health.

Liking to travel is a must, as is the ability to be flexible and travel on a tight budget (I'd rather go somewhere cheaply than not go).

Must want children

Must like (or at least tolerate) pets, as my cat and dog were here first and they're not going anywhere, and accept that I will ALWAYS have some type of fur-kid if possible.


And this should be a given, but I'll say it anyway: Treat me with respect.


So:

1. Tolerate critters
2. Tolerate me being active and having a life, and understand that they are welcome in any part of it, but if they choose not to join me, whining isn't cool.
3. Like to travel and be flexible about it.
4. Have at least half a brain and the willingness to use it.
5. Want kids
(6. respect me)


While the occasional lifting of heavy objects and opening of jars is nice, it's not required.

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While the occasional lifting of heavy objects and opening of jars is nice, it's not required.



So ya kill your own bugs? :P
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

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While the occasional lifting of heavy objects and opening of jars is nice, it's not required.



So ya kill your own bugs? :P


:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Cheach won't... just FYI.
"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

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Shah, I really wonder who brings this "kids topic" and when? I cannot imagine that young girls start talking about kids before at least few weeks of relationship are passed... I mean... it's not like internet bull-crap dating putting the board on your forehead "hight, width, depth, lenght(s)... " "I don't like pasta" "I like skydiving", "I don't wanna any kids"

well. if you get an "interview" upfront of that kind you better ask yourself who did you choose to go out with... the chance is real you're talking with a psychedelic one.

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Skyper,
It's due to me having been married for 7.5 years.
A girl will ask "Oh you were married for 7.5 years?"
Me "Yes, it was great fun I really enjoyed being married but it didn't work out."
Girl "So did you two have any kids...."
And that's what gets me.
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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I see. In your example, the question about kids is just a side one... it's enough to answer that you did not have kids. And that kind of questions are finished. You don't have to say that you didn't want them.

Humans who do not want to have kids are in a large minority. Which means that your quest will take more time than a quest for person wanting them.

they are a minority, not only because of the social conditioning, but also because of the animal instincts. People are made to make siblings - at least the most of "us". As long as you want to have sex... your body wants to make the siblings. Condom is rational and purely artificial thing. The "decision" not to have kids is IMHO more rational and more socially conditioned than the decision to have them...

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I see. In your example, the question about kids is just a side one... it's enough to answer that you did not have kids. And that kind of questions are finished. You don't have to say that you didn't want them....


If it were only that easy.
I say no and then they ask "WHY?"
And I then am in a catch 22

But yes it will be a very long walk.
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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Shah which part is not easy?

If you are not able to lead the discussion in the direction you want how is she supposed to trust you that you're able to lead your (and her) relationship in the right direction?

imho, the person which starts and keep talking about this kind of topics upfront is dismissed - upfront.

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