popsjumper 2 #51 April 12, 2011 QuoteI am a middle aged man so when Divot bought me dinner I am sure that no favours were on his mind ??? THAT'S different!My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #52 April 14, 2011 Personally, I probably would've turned down the offer as politely as possible as it does sort of sound like he was hitting on you. I doubt that he meant you any harm... at least not at that particular moment. Any single guy who sees a pretty woman probably wishes they had the guts to do the same thing! As far as doing for others? Remember my "Stop and Smell The Roses" contest? About 20 years ago, I was a single mother with a 3 year old daughter and a deadbeat ex-husband who wouldn't pay child support. I was a waitress and struggled to pay bills and daycare. I can remember taking her to "Long John Silver's" one night. (C'mon folks...don't give me any grief about being broke and going out to eat...I at least had coupons!) There was an older man sitting at a table behind me. He talked to my daughter from there, but kept his distance. When he got up to leave, he walked over to my table. I was a bit concerned, but he leaned over and slid a religious flyer on my table. And then he left. I picked up the flyer and when I did, there was a hundred dollar bill under the flyer! I can remember how thankful I was for that gift and only spending a few dollars here and there of it when I was really desperate. Nowadays, I do quite a bit for others. I've bought for people behind me in drive throughs. I bought groceries for an old couple in front of me at a Walmart who were having to put stuff back because they couldn't afford it. I've given to people I know just because I have and they need it. I have adopted multiple soldiers and send stuff to them on at least a monthly basis. I don't have mega bucks. But my life is very comfortable at this point in my life. If giving up a few dollars here and there brings a smile to someone's face, I say it's money well spent! I'm all about the whole "Pay It Forward" concept! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #53 April 14, 2011 Wow, lots of great stories in here. Whenever I walk past a sick person in the street, I give him a kidney. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #54 April 14, 2011 QuoteWhenever I walk past a sick person in the street, I give him a kidney. I think the majority of people don't deserve any help. A little bit here and there doesn't hurt, but too often those who readily take a hand-out are the very people who should just sort themselves out."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #55 April 14, 2011 Last night talking to my gorgeous friend Nadine. "Shah guys aren't talking to me! I go out I look good but...none of the guys are talking to me!" "Nadine, when you go out do guys offer to buy you drinks?" "yeah but I turn them down" "Hum.....ok how about this next time you go out and a guy asks to buy you a drink, say yes and tell the bartender what you would like. Enjoy the free drink and the conversation. If the guy is nice well you had a free dirnk for a nice guy and who knows it could work out. If he wasn't a nice guy, well at least you got a free drink." "Shah you are so smart! Why didn't I think of that!" Made me wonder....maybe I need think about this "buying drinks" thing. Though I think it's a bad idea it may actually work?Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ShayneH 0 #56 April 14, 2011 I agree with Shah. Not everyone has a whole lot of "game," and I bet that the cup of coffee was his ticket in to striking up a conversation with you while you sat around drinking it. I also bet that it took a fair amount of confidence on his part to approach a total stranger and offer such a gesture. I recently saw a commercial for one of the online dating sites that claimed a staggering statistic (I dont remember exact numbers) of relationships are now started online. And after catching glimpses into people's trains of thought, I can start to see why. You were in a public place, receiving a drink from a public vendor. You very easily and safely could have taken him up on that offer [if you so pleased] and had the chance to better read his intentions. And if it went well, you could have arranged another date in an also very public place. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #57 April 16, 2011 I think it's a safe bet you skimmed the original question, and didn't read most of the other posts either... The question wasn't about this specific guy offering me a coffee (anyway I'm not single) - it was broadly whether people ever give anything without expecting something in return."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #58 April 16, 2011 Quote I agree with Shah.. Now that's not something that you read every day (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wolfriverjoe 1,340 #59 April 16, 2011 Quote I think it's a safe bet you skimmed the original question, and didn't read most of the other posts either... The question wasn't about this specific guy offering me a coffee (anyway I'm not single) - it was broadly whether people ever give anything without expecting something in return. Right. You asked one question, but gave an example for a completely different situation. FOR ME - Offering a woman a drink or something similar is not an altruistic act. It is a direct attempt to bribe her to talk to me for the duration of the consumption of the offered item. A drink can be a few minutes, a meal considerably longer. Offering help to someone who needs it, however, is a complete gift. The help is offered with no expectation of repayment of any kind. That help is usually "road help", often in rest areas or truckstops, and is never direct gifts of money. More often assistance, advice, or the loan of tools to make simple repairs. Helping a little old lady change a tire is an easy example. Jumpstarts are another. Help with directions is another. When I do anything along those lines, I do it because I like how I feel after doing something nice for someone, and I would hope someone would help me or my loved ones if it was needed, and any question of "Can I give you something for this?" Is answered with a simple "Yes. Help someone in need that you find down the road. Pass the favor on.""There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy "~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #60 April 16, 2011 "Can I give you something for this?" Is answered with a simple "Yes. Help someone in need that you find down the road. Pass the favor on." 10-12 years ago I was in northern California doing an airshow...10 o'colck at night I was leaving a grocery store and noticed a young guy, his wife and baby trying to get a beat up old truck started...I nosed the team van up to his grill and hopped out with jumper cables, the look of relief on the guys face was more payment than any amount of $ could match. We got the heap started and he reached for his wallet, I told him he owed me one, pay it back if he sees me stranded. ...well, he tracked me down from the logo and web address on the van, sent me a very nice thank you note a few days later and has sent Christmas cards every year since, I've gotten to see his family grow and kind be in touch with a 'friend' I other wise wouldn't have gotten to know if not for the investment of 5 minutes time and a helping hand! One on the 'one good turn' theme... Couple days ago I was coming back to Houston from Newark... Just got settled in when I noticed a very young man in a USMC uniform headed to the back, I grabbed his ticket and pushed him down into my business class seat. He looked at me in shock and got up saying, "Thanks, but you don't have to do that for me." I told him I know, and pointed to his uniform sayin' and YOU didn't HAVE to do that for ME...But ya did so thank YOU. I've done this several times before, but this time it was amazing, several OTHER 1st class passengers did the same thing as 3-4 other uniformed military people boarded. . .I don't think I've felt that good about a middle seat in coach in YEARS! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jrmrangers 0 #61 April 17, 2011 that is great twardo, i always shake a guys hand and buy a drink when a find out they have served. Besides that though. I grew up pretty much broke so anything i got i appreciated, so now that i do ok for myself i help people all the time. Recently i was in a local ice cream shop with my kids and a woman was there throwing a party for her 7-8 year old daughter. I could see the woman was sweating the bill and when her daughter asked if her friends could have cotton condies the mom had to tell her daughter no. As I was leaving i grabbed the waitress and gave her every penny in my pocket ( about $75) for her to put towards the womans bill. I also aked that she not tell her till after i left. It made me feel better than i couldnt have imagined!!Wait , I pull what first? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #62 April 17, 2011 Quote "Can I give you something for this?" Is answered with a simple "Yes. Help someone in need that you find down the road. Pass the favor on." One on the 'one good turn' theme... Couple days ago I was coming back to Houston from Newark... Just got settled in when I noticed a very young man in a USMC uniform headed to the back, I grabbed his ticket and pushed him down into my business class seat. He looked at me in shock and got up saying, "Thanks, but you don't have to do that for me." I told him I know, and pointed to his uniform sayin' and YOU didn't HAVE to do that for ME...But ya did so thank YOU. I've done this several times before, but this time it was amazing, several OTHER 1st class passengers did the same thing as 3-4 other uniformed military people boarded. . .I don't think I've felt that good about a middle seat in coach in YEARS! Jim what you did was very cool, what the rest did was out of guilt. Screw themYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #63 April 17, 2011 I always stop for women and older people on the highway. I've changed lots of tires. I once stopped for a very pregnant woman on a busy expressway in rush hour traffic. She had been standing beside her car for 45 minutes. It was a simple flat. I gave her my cell to call work and her husband while I changed the tire. She was on her way in ten minutes. A couple of months later, I was pulling into a parking space at the drive in theater with my family when I saw a man approaching the car on my (then) wife's side. He asked if her husband was David Johnson. She told him I was. I slipped my pistol into my waistband as he came around to my side. He said someone wanted to meet me. I followed him a couple of cars down the row to where the woman and her infant child were. She had spotted me rolling past, remembered me and my name and sent her husband to get me. I change tires for people because I hope someone would stop for my daughter or parents if needed.I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ShayneH 0 #64 April 17, 2011 Quote I think it's a safe bet you skimmed the original question, and didn't read most of the other posts either... Nope, I read it pretty thoroughly. The question you had in your mind was masked by your writing. Just like any paper you wrote in highschool/college, the first sentance of the first paragraph should be your topic/argument sentence. Then follow by an example (and make sure to note that it is an example). QuoteMaybe it's a bit bad of me to think this, but I generally assume that a man who offers to buy me something wants something in return, and I don't like that dynamic. For example, I was sitting outside a cafe enjoying a lovely cappucino, when a guy kindly offered to buy me something else to drink. Innocent enough, but I said no thanks. ...also, I couldn't have agreed with Shah if I didn't read through the posts :/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fossg 0 #65 April 18, 2011 It does exist but the people who REALY do it are rare Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #66 April 18, 2011 Not as rare as you might think .... most folks don't do for the publicity - It's about doing the right think not being seen to be doing it. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #67 April 18, 2011 QuoteNot as rare as you might think .... most folks don't do for the publicity - It's about doing the right think not being seen to be doing it. I think so too... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #68 April 18, 2011 Don't dig so deep. Some people are just genuinely nice.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wolfriverjoe 1,340 #69 April 19, 2011 QuoteQuoteNot as rare as you might think .... most folks don't do for the publicity - It's about doing the right think not being seen to be doing it. I think so too... Very true. The best "Good Deeds" are done anonymously. A couple were mentioned up above, paying a bill, but "don't tell them until after I've gone". One of my personal favorites is to clear the snow and ice off the windows of the car parked next to me. It is especially fun to do right before Christmas. It can be at an event or function where I know the people there, or it can just be out at the mall. I may or may not know who's car it is (sometimes I figure it out after the car is cleaned off if it's a situation where I know the people) but a lot of times I have no clue who it is. At the mall it could be that jerk that ran to get ahead of me in line, but it also could be the tired looking mom with an armful of packages and two little kids."There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy "~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #70 April 19, 2011 Quote Don't dig so deep. Some people are just genuinely nice. Yeah and half the time you won't even guess who! Or how they know your size Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ShayneH 0 #71 April 19, 2011 Quote how often do people genuinely give freely with no expectations of some kind of return on their investment? The other day, my buddy was driving me around and I heard this ad come on the radio: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBqgPKC6PmA The meat and bones of the commercial start around 25s. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
weekender 0 #72 April 19, 2011 Its all about how you were raised. If you have any class or breeding. I always stop to help someone in need. Car on the side of the road, person on the street with a map and confused look, boater run aground… to me it is just the proper thing to do. To me its not about being nice or paying it forward or anything. Its just the right thing to do. I cannot imagine if I have the time and skill, not stopping to help someone. I always laugh when people say I am generous or kind for offering to help. I don’t see myself that way at all. I just think I’m being a normal decent person."The point is, I'm weird, but I never felt weird." John Frusciante Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
