Finding happy?

[shah269 0]

*please without personal attacks and snarkyness.

I know there are few if any real suggestions.
What are your ways to lifting your mood when you are in a catch 22 situation where there is no real solution.

The facts on the ground,
At the moment I am in no position to skydive. Maybe in a week or two when I have a bit more cash, still on student gear until I downsize safely, thus my cost per day is $100+. And with my recent 5% increase in federal taxes due to being "single" funds are tight.

I'm "stuck" in accommodations that do not "fit" my desire to meet new people. I am the only single guy in my entire complex and live in a "bedroom" "retirement" community and I can't sell and I can't rent it and move due to the economy. Losses incurred if sold would be $100k+/-

I practice Yoga twice a week in a studio filled with old ladies...note the living accommodations...so it's done to clear my head and not to meet new people and as such my eyes are usually closed throughout the entire class. Old ladies doing yoga in frumpy clothing does not help ones emotional state. I have "visited" others but of no real improvement in age of participants.

I work 11 hours a day and attend EMBA classes every Saturday from 8am-5pm so "joining a club" is not a viable option due to work load and class work.

As the weather has gotten better I try and ride my motorcycle two to three times a week.

I eat well. I drink plenty of water. I really don't wish to be on any antidepressants.


What are your suggestions. And again please no personal attacks or snarkeyness. I'm not "belly aching" these are the facts on the ground as they stand. I'm in a difficult position and would like to find a way to maybe lighten my mood such that if a positive opportunity arises I take advantage of it.

Have you noticed that some foods or vitamins have helped you lighten your emotional state?

Thanks in advance
Shah

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Squeak 17]

dude you have got to find a way of getting out of your head.
There's a tonne of things that dont cost money that can enterain you and distract you from yourself.
The only thing stopping you from being happy is YOU

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[nigel99 143]

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Have you noticed that some foods or vitamins have helped you lighten your emotional state?

Try 5 leafed vegetables

I find the outdoors really lifts my spirits. Getting out into the countryside and walking till you are exhausted can be very therapeutic.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[JohnMitchell 14]

Hi Shah, do you have access to a gym. 20-30 minutes of weight training, 3-4 times a week perks me up and makes me feel good and more energetic. You have a super tight schedule, I can see. Your building is full of old fogeys (I think I might move in) but are there any parks, pubs, cafes close by that have women in your age group? Good luck, bro.

[squirrel 0]

well, sometimes you just have to buckle down. being in real estate, i have seen equity go away at rocket speed. but if you don't sell, you don't lock in your losses. when i get in theses situations i say to myself...."until i can afford to have the life i want, i will have no life at all." hell, the guys in the military do it everyday, hunkered down in some trench, we certainly do it practicing yoga twice a week and getting to ride a motorcycle.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[NWFlyer 2]

Volunteer. Kills multiple birds with one stone. Gets you out of the house. Helps you meet people. Reminds you of how fortunate you really are. Helps the community. Depending on what you're doing, might be good outdoor/physical activity, which can help your energy/psyche.

Start here to find opportunities.

http://www.handsonnetwork.org/

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[JohnMitchell 14]

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"until i can afford to have the life i want, i will have no life at all." hell, the guys in the military do it everyday, hunkered down in some trench, we certainly do it practicing yoga twice a week and getting to ride a motorcycle.

Counting my blessings always cheers me up. Compared to so many other places and times in history, to be an American in the 21st century is pretty damn good.

[shah269 0]

Please note lack of time.
I was about to post a thank you when I had lunch, answered 5 emails and had to run off to a meeting.
This evening I need to be in yoga class for an hour to cear what I can from my mind and will be up till midnight working on homework from my Supply Chain class.
Time, location nor finances are on my side.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[david3 0]

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Please note lack of time.
I was about to post a thank you when I had lunch, answered 5 emails and had to run off to a meeting.
This evening I need to be in yoga class for an hour to cear what I can from my mind and will be up till midnight working on homework from my Supply Chain class.
Time, location nor finances are on my side.

Skip a yoga class, find a nice place in the sun, put down a blanket and do your yoga outside. I am going to guess you are locked inside a sealed environment all day. All of our moms were right, go outside and get some fresh air and sunshine. It will make you feel better, if only for a few minutes.

[davelepka 4]

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I'm "stuck" in accommodations that do not "fit" my desire to meet new people. I am the only single guy in my entire complex and live in a "bedroom" "retirement" community

Forget about the idea of meeting new people as a way to make you happy. It's not the solution, and if you drop the idea that it is, suddenly all of your 'problems' are reduced down to not having money to jump.

Living in a retirement community, doing yoga with old ladies, and working 11 horus a day are not a problem if you're not preoccupied with the idea of meeting someone.

As far lacking the cash to jump, join the club, and as for $100 a day, that's just the tip of the iceberg. Once you drop several thousand bucks on used gear, $100 a day gets you 4 jumps without a packer. Last time I checked, 4 jumps was a 'slow' day at the DZ. Once you have your gear and learn how to pack in a reasonable amount of time, plan on more like 6 jumps a day, maybe more if you really go nuts.

The bright side is that you have a job that keeps you busy, and are furthering your education which should lead to more money in the future.

Look into some weed. Someone at the DZ has a line on some high grade stuff, get yourself a bag of it, and take a couple hits an hour before bed each night. Just relax and chill out, and stop worrying about everything. In the words of my mother, 'There are starving children in Africa, and you're not one of them. Cheer up'.

[NWFlyer 2]

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All of our moms were right, go outside and get some fresh air and sunshine. It will make you feel better, if only for a few minutes.

This.

Plus, supplement Vitamin D. Not the measly 400 IUs that you get in a multi-vitamin, but 2000-5000 IUs per day.

It's done amazing things for my overall well-being (during CA winters and almost year-round when I was living farther north).

http://www.livestrong.com/article/357793-the-dosage-of-vitamin-d-for-depression/

http://www.vitamindcouncil.org/depression.shtml

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[shah269 0]

Short response running off to meeting.
Have Triathlon 220, last jumped 260 navigator. Looking to appropriately downsize to reduce costs. But it will be spendy.
Looking to meet new friends of my age and of similar interests. Not happening due to socio economic conditions of current community of residence.
No beach, live in NW-NJ.
Meeting....got to run.
.
.
NWFlyer
thank you never thought of Vitamin D will try

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[pyrotech 0]

Just putting this out there, but I've never actually made quality friends when I went out 'looking' for them. The group of friends I hang out with now, I met by going out and doing the things I like to do where other people happened to be there. I went over and started talking with them, enjoyed doing so, so continued doing so. Now we hang out on a more-regular basis. There's really no formula to making friends; just find other people that you have things in common with and start doing things with them. Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes it takes a while. From your posts though, it seems like you'll need to find a way to make yourself happy just being yourself before being happy with friends or a partner. If you're not happy hanging out with yourself, it's hard to expect others to be happy hanging out with you.

[wmw999 2,116]

I find that taking vitamin B as well makes me feel less run-down in general. The thing most guaranteed to make me feel down is to sit around and stew about it (generally done while either eating, playing spider solitaire or spending too much time on dz.com ). They just remind me that I'm not achieving any goals.

You have a full plate right now. Maybe what you need is a short-term goal that you can do in very small pieces -- e.g. "meditate for 5 minutes" or "work on my painting of a pretty horsie" (you get hte picture -- something you can pick up and put down without losing your train of thought or re-doing stuff).

No one is going to tell you that things are hopeless and you're fucked. Because, well, it's not true. I used to get depressed sometimes, then I considered that most of the problems that really bothered me (generally having to do with procrastination and the results thereof) would go away entirely if I were to quit my job, move to the other end of the country, and start working at McDonald's or just be homeless.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[DrewEckhardt 0]

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I work 11 hours a day and attend EMBA classes every Saturday from 8am-5pm so "joining a club" is not a viable option due to work load and class work.

I get 1.5 hours a day of road biking done monday/tuesday/thursday/friday working about 11 hours a day and still have time to watch too much Netflix.

I learned to fly, built a set of stereo speakers, managed 168 skydives and 30 BASE jumps one year, and met my now wife while working 14-15 hours a day five days a week.

Averaging 15 hours a day seven days a week I had two beers with friends on Thursdays and didn't do anything else but work. Your work load is still light enough to have fun.

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What are your suggestions. And again please no personal attacks or snarkeyness. I'm not "belly aching" these are the facts on the ground as they stand. I'm in a difficult position and would like to find a way to maybe lighten my mood such that if a positive opportunity arises I take advantage of it.

Get some exercise and sun (vitamin D). 100 miles a week (with lots of quality time around your lactate threshold) on a bicycle would do some good for you.

[skydiverbry 0]

Shah,
All the suggestions I read seem to be pretty good ones.
Me personally I have nothing that would be of value to you then what I already read.
I am by nature a smart ass and make light of my situation by being sarcastic and keep my self up beat.
I have my wife,dog and granchildren to keep me "out of my head"
I also have a 4 wheel drive club I belong to that helps me to.
Good luck to you and I do wish you the best...better times are coming your way..it just take time.

Wow!!! I said all that without on smart ass remark....see if I can do that then you can do anything!!!!!!!!!!



Bry

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Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!!

D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver)

[monkycndo 0]

Work 11 hours M-F.
Class on Saturday.

That leaves Sunday wide open.

I am a California boy and crave sunshine. I consider myself lucky that I have an outside job and get plenty. When I don't get enough, like now when I am working graveyard shifts, I become grumpy. I do my best to get out sometime to get a dose of the sun. Eat your lunch outside away from your cube. You'll get a reprieve from work stuff and get some sun. Double win.

I am also a dog lover. Can't have one in the building where I live. So when I pass a dog on the street getting a walk, I take the opportunity to give them a good pet/scratch/rub. The dog loves it and I enjoy some of that positive energy.

It can take any form, you just need to find the little things that let you get out of your head and enjoy life's simple pleasures.

50 donations so far. Give it a try.

You know you want to spank it
Jump an Infinity

[squirrel 0]

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...or just be homeless.

a few weeks ago, when I was up in the SF bay area, I tracked down my brother who I had not seen in over 25 years. He is 16 years older than I, and had left home before I really knew him. He has lived in various vans all his life, working at a part time jobs, (one of which he has had for over 20 years, more impressive than many people.)...and yet, is the most positive, healthy eating person I know. He made 12,000 dollars last year, and yet somehow is happy, living in one of the most expensive zip codes in America.

Yes, he is odd, and does suffer from OC behavior. But, he makes it work, he is at peace. The only time he ever asked for help was when he crashed his motorcycle and broke his leg in 3 places. My parents let him recover at their house. But when he was recovered, he left, and resumed his non materialistic, simple, happy life. Lesson here, less, can be so much more.

________________________________
Where is Darwin when you need him?

[wmw999 2,116]

That kind of story is why I consider that as a real alternative.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[shah269 0]

Will stop over and pick up some Vitamin B and Vitamin D on the way home. It is not fun waking up as exhausted as you go to bed. I'm reading Brian Germains book and think it's in the first chapter "Prolonged stress causes death, plain and simple."
Yeah no kidding! I wake up and my legs hurt as if I've been running a marathon.
And thank you so much for the advice, I greatly appreciate it!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[CarrieByTheSea 0]

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playing spider solitaire or spending too much time on dz.com They just remind me that I'm not achieving any goals.

You get me! I rock at four-suits Spider; I must say. Still, it definitely does not help solve whatever I am putting off for a short-period of time.

Concur on vitamins/nutrition. I swear by omega-3s and vitamin C to keep me feeling well and thinking positive (with a daily multi and extra vitamin D, in addition to good diet and active lifestyle).

"Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be." ~ Temple Grandin

[JerseyShawn 0]

Shah. It seems like you're trapped in a prison of what you created.

Destroy it, and rebuild somewhere with more of the things you're looking for in this too short of a life.

I lived in Jersey for 19 years before I had it with the cops, traffic, grey long winters being stuck inside, ect. 10 years ago I said enough. I wasnt happy. Packed my car with some clothes, my music, some buds, my skateboard and 900 bucks and headed west on Christmas day. Decided California would be nice to live in. I couldn't be happier living here. I never looked back. I wanted sun, mountains to play and camp in, skating year round, beaches and sunsets to appease my soul at the end of the day, and a slower pace of life than Jersey. I got what I wanted.

You can't take your condo when you die, fuck it. If you died tomorrow, you died unhappy. If I died tomorrow, I died happy.

This and that, material things, what people think of you don't/
shouldn't matter in life. Get out of your misery, even if it means you lose some money. Be where you want to be, be what you want to be. In the end you'll die with an honest smile, and you
won in the adventure life should be.

Smile brotha

[gmanpilot 0]

I find this to be the #1 universal truth for "finding happy". As much as is practicable, for a career you should do what you are.

Until then;

Every night for 1 month, write down one thing you are thankful for. Anything.

_________________________________________
-There's always free cheese in a mouse trap.

[normiss 620]

This is a good thing.

It also helps to change the things in life that make you unhappy.
Too much work? Change jobs.
House too overwhelming? Sell it.

seriously.

[shah269 0]

I'm sorry I can't sell or offload.
$100k underwater. Not an option.
Working on the gig thing as we speak.

With regards to the vitamins the people at GNC...not too smart.
Suggestions on dosage? How many milligrams?
Thanks!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!