Why You Shouldn't Post Your Resume on Monster

[Guest]

Hi all,

I knew better than this, but I thought I'd throw my CV out there just to see what would happen.

Here is a message I received today (note: I have never heard from this douchebag before):

Hi Mark,

My name is [name removed] with Farmers. I contacted you about a month ago regarding a sales position that I had available in my office. I wanted to touch basis [sic] with you and see if you had a chance to review the opportunity and see if we could sit down and discuss the position. Please send a resume to [name removed]@farmersinsjobs.com and we can arrange a time for you to come in and meet with me regarding the position.

Thank you

[name removed]
District Manager
[location removed]District Office

--------------------------------------

Here is my reply:

Sir,

Many thanks for your generous offer; however, I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.

Respectfully,

mh

.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[JohnnyMarko 1]

And what if the first email just got lost in cyberspace?

[quade 3]

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And what if the first email just got lost in cyberspace?

You're joking; right?

When has an HR person EVER contacted a person twice about a job, let alone wait a MONTH to do it? Seriously? With the unemployment rates they are today? Not a chance.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[NWFlyer 2]

Quote

Here is my reply:

Sir,

Many thanks for your generous offer; however, I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.

Respectfully,

mh

.

If that's a typical response, maybe that's why you're finding the need to turn to Monster.com to find a job.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[JohnnyMarko 1]

Quote

Quote

And what if the first email just got lost in cyberspace?

You're joking; right?

When has an HR person EVER contacted a person twice about a job, let alone wait a MONTH to do it? Seriously? With the unemployment rates they are today? Not a chance.

All the time

[Guest]

Quote

Quote

Here is my reply:

Sir,

Many thanks for your generous offer; however, I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.

Respectfully,

mh

.

If that's a typical response, maybe that's why you're finding the need to turn to Monster.com to find a job.

This clown did not deserve a polite response.

My co-workers are career IT types. As with mine, their CVs make no mention of sales or insurance, but they get unwelcome solicitations from insurance pukes too. We're currently engaged in an effort to outdo each other in writing creatively polite but scandalously rude rejection messages.

And like I said in my OP, I knew better than to put it on Monster, but I just wanted to see if things had changed.

I am currently in the enviable position of having recruiters contact me instead of the other way around. It's a far cry from 2003 when I was laid off from Boeing, along with many, many others.

However, that also means that unscrupulous douchebags can reach me too. They'll get the same treatment this one did.

mh
.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[NovaTTT 1]

Well done!

Worst that can happen? Some asshole is going to come and give you a blowjob!

"Even in a world where perfection is unattainable, there's still a difference between excellence and mediocrity." Gary73

[JohnnyMarko 1]

Where's the website for that?

ETA: Oh yea....craigslist

[mdrejhon 8]

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When has an HR person EVER contacted a person twice about a job, let alone wait a MONTH to do it? Seriously? With the unemployment rates they are today? Not a chance.

My resume is on MONSTER. They know I am a contractor that is typically hired on 6 month or 1 year contracts. Recruiters I've never replied to, tend to re-contact me once every couple or three months.

High skill jobs such as mobile software development for iPhone is pretty hot right now, for example. But I also get contacted for stuff I really don't want to do, too. So there are times I have been without work for a few months.

I think it's a matter of skill mismatch with things people want to do. If more people wanted to retrain dramatically from web developer to becoming a welder or construction worker, or accept a large cut of income to switch careers like from bank-app iPhone/BlackBerry developer to an entry level EA Sports game developer (For more fun programming stuff at HALF SALARY), it's hard to refactor a lifestyle or accept work, especially if you have a house, and especially if it doesn't cover the mortgage payments enough, and can't relocate easily either.

I read that in the Depression of the 1930's, many retrained to dramatically different careers for the War (USA participation in WWII '41-'45) and that helped lead a massive recovery. I can't help but be worried that flexibility of the workforce is lower than back then, but then again, the modern society including the Internet and the cellphone may compensate (i.e. working from home, etc).

I find LinkedIn and other forms of networking (in person at agencies too) slightly more effective than things like Monster, but it's still a tool for me, to keep an eye on the barometer. A surge of incoming Monster recruiters means a hot job market, and it means I can make decisions whether to extend my current contract or not, risking downtime between contracts if the market is not hot... And also to keep a pulse on nearby cities, too.

I survived the recession by being flexible lcoation-wise (but I do feel like I missed the mortgage bandwagon, Canada's mortgages havent fallen like USA mortgages). I've worked in 3 different major Canadian cities in the last 3 years, allowing myself to be far away from my loved one... We have downsized by 50%, but now our family income is finally higher, and we are now relocation-flexible, and probably now would throw my first mortgage at investment property in a few years (vacation/rental/future retirement) instead of a permanent location that limits my future ability to relocate for job options during the next economic crisis...

Anyway, Monster is a good tool to keep the pulse on the job market and regionalness of it (some areas are hot, and some areas are downtrodden. During 2008 crisis, there was still a hot market for mobile devices in parts of Montreal and Toronto -- RIM, Nokia, etc -- that made my decision to relocate temporarily). if you have a good keyword-heavy IT resume. I do get dozens of useless email, plus a few relevant gems that really helped make a few of my career direction decisions (Even though I didn't reply). My general rule of thumb is to ignore recruiters that are more than 500 kilometers away, with just a brief glance... Now we are more or less semi-permanently in Toronto, with just an easy train trip away from Ottawa/Montreal in an emergency pinch...

Being a consultant also means unpaid vacations and no benefits, but, other flexibility aspects compensate. It's the best way for me to survive at the moment. I've had to become more adaptable.

My textbook case shows reputation can be damaged by stupid replies to headhunters. Therefore, the best policy is to ignore messages from recruiters you're definitely not interested in. That way, they don't put you on their blacklist or whitelist (Many agencies long learned ago that employed people generally ignore them, until they become jobless). And Recruitment XYZ Los Angeles, might also have satellite offices in New York City and Memphis. You don't want to be on the blacklist if you live in Memphis. So, If you don't like being spammed, don't reply with some stupid messages that put you on a black list. If you consider such recruiters your opponent, learn how the opponent works/operates, and play the game strategically instead. Some recruiters are great teammates, and some recruiters are sleazy players. Unfortunately sometimes both of them are working at different satellites of the same agency in different cities! Create a separate gmail account for use with Monster, and autoforward them as low-priority emails to your smartphone (So you only need to occasionally glance now and then, more often near the end of a contract, unless you're between contracts)

[JohnMitchell 14]

What, an intelligent, interesting, thoughtful reply to whine-post in the Bonfire?
What has gotten into you?

[theonlyski 3]

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And what if the first email just got lost in cyberspace?

You're joking; right?

When has an HR person EVER contacted a person twice about a job, let alone wait a MONTH to do it? Seriously? With the unemployment rates they are today? Not a chance.

I STILL get calls, 4 months after I accepted a job (and informed the guys looking to fill the jobs) asking me if its going well and if they could get me to come over to their companies.

Guess its just a different thing being in my job field.

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[shropshire 0]

Your response tells us more about you - acting like a cock and then proving it by telling the world - Well played

I receive a couple of 'unsolicited' job based e-mails a week - that's what happens when you advertise yourself. If you are not interested in the position - just ignore the mail.. It's not that hard to do.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[piisfish 135]

so, did you get the blowjob or did he contract someone to do it ?

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[mdrejhon 8]

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What has gotten into you?

Dropzone.com is a distraction from Canadian federal politics. *dizzy*

Hint: Above the 49th parallel, we elected a robot to lead our country.

[JohnMitchell 14]

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Hint: Above the 49th parallel, we elected a robot to lead our country.

I see his pic in the paper this morning.

[DougH 270]

I get a voice mail a day and several emails a day trying to place me in a tax accountant position at this or that company.

Most of the voicemails say that we have spoken in the past, when in fact we haven't.

It is a volume game, the recruiters cold call as many people as possible to get as many possible applicants to increase there chances of getting their placement fee.

I am polite and usually take a few minutes to hear them out and tell them to keep me in mind for future positions.

You never know when the cold caller will become a HR VP in some company you WANT to work for. They may not remember that you politely fielded there calls a few years back, but they will probably remember if you were rude on the phone, or blasted them with some jerky email.

"The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall"
=P

[Guest]

Good stuff.

However, I don't think some douchebag insurance flack is in the same league as IT recruiters. I can't believe they'd trade blacklists. If so, I'm f***ed.

Well, that's okay. I'm 12,000+ km away from any of that, Internet notwithstanding. I'm not wanting for work right now, in fact I'm about to change jobs because I have more than I can stand, and do not have a life.

mh
.

"The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

[Andy9o8 0]

My daughter recently posted her resume on Monster and Careerbuilder, and set it to "view by anyone" to maximize her exposure. She had enough foresight and caution not to include her physical address on the resume she posted. But she did post her primary e-mail address and her cell phone number.

Thus far, the only e-mails she's gotten are for 100% commission insurance sales jobs (which is not remotely her field) from "insurance companies" we've have never heard of, or "You too can be a self-employed enterpreneur!" come-ons. She's also seen an up-tick in the quantity of spam she gets.

She's also getting non-stop telemarketing calls to her cell phone from everyone and their dog. No, she doesn't want to get an online certificate in HVAC repair, thankyew.

I'm not saying posting your resume might not have good results if you're in the right field where bona fide recruiters are mining for candidates for real jobs/projects - like IT, engineering, etc. But for other fields, it's less effective, and can have unwanted, uh, side-effects.

Two lessons she/we have taken from this experience. If you do post your resume on a board like that:
1. Create and use a "backup" e-mail address for this purpose. Yahoo e-mail, for one example, is one place where this is easy to do in just minutes, for free.
2. Depending on your field, consider not posting your phone number, at least on the resume that is "viewable by anyone". If a bona fide recruiter is really hot to contact you, they can do so via e-mail. (You can still put your phone number on another version of your resume that you use to apply to specific, indidividual job postings.)

[DigitalDave 0]

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I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.

I've never understood why one man would say this to another. Is the intent to insult him for being gay for sucking your cock .. but you wouldn't be gay for letting him?

I don't get it.

[JohnnyMarko 1]

Quote

Quote

I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.

I've never understood why one man would say this to another. Is the intent to insult him for being gay for sucking your cock .. but you wouldn't be gay for letting him?

I don't get it.

I say it all the time

[popsjumper 2]

Quote

Quote

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I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.

I've never understood why one man would say this to another. Is the intent to insult him for being gay for sucking your cock .. but you wouldn't be gay for letting him?

I don't get it.

I say it all the time

O....M....G....

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[theonlyski 3]

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O....M....G....

Same comment as that picture I posted.

I'm startin to wonder about you old man...

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[-ftp- 0]

Quote

Hi all,

I knew better than this, but I thought I'd throw my CV out there just to see what would happen.

Here is a message I received today (note: I have never heard from this douchebag before):

Hi Mark,

My name is [name removed] with Farmers. I contacted you about a month ago regarding a sales position that I had available in my office. I wanted to touch basis [sic] with you and see if you had a chance to review the opportunity and see if we could sit down and discuss the position. Please send a resume to [name removed]@farmersinsjobs.com and we can arrange a time for you to come in and meet with me regarding the position.

Thank you

[name removed]
District Manager
[location removed]District Office

--------------------------------------

Here is my reply:

Sir,

Many thanks for your generous offer; however, I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.
Respectfully,

mh

.

Thats mighty 'christian' of you.

[jumpwally 0]

+1,,i also never understood why when pissed at someone, people tend to say "get fucked",,,,this makes no sense, why wish one of lifes greatests sensations/actions on someone you are angry with ?

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[warpedskydiver 0]

Quote

Quote

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I would greatly appreciate it if you would kindly suck my cock instead.

I've never understood why one man would say this to another. Is the intent to insult him for being gay for sucking your cock .. but you wouldn't be gay for letting him?

I don't get it.

I say it all the time

Yeah we know Johnny, so how is that chinchilla doing?