missbrz 0 #1 July 27, 2011 So the talk of using "can I fill your PM box with my spam" as a pick up line reminded me of one of the worst pick up lines I've ever heard. I was waiting for a drink at a bar & a guy comes up next to me & starts sniffing the air. "It smells like piss over here. Dont you think?" I just respond with "no not really" He keeps insisting he thinks it smells like piss. Finally he asks me "Hey, would you mind smelling my crotch to make sure its not me?" ........ yea that one didnt work. So how bout you folks? What's the worst pick up line you've actually seen/heard used? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meso 38 #2 July 27, 2011 Oh sweet Jesus... I've heard some terrible stories of bad pickup lines but that takes the cake. Looking at that pickup line worded differently. "Hey, excuse me - but can you please see if I perhaps pissed myself." I'm offended you hold it in contrast to my spamming line! :p Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #3 July 27, 2011 it only reminded me b/c it was a pick up line. your's wasnt nearly that bad in fact for a dz.commer it might work for the funny factor Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #4 July 27, 2011 "I'd have sex with you, but I don't want to vomit on your penis." I overheard a girl say that to someone at a boogie once. Thought it was pretty bad form. "Your sister is great in bed, but now that we're at her funeral, I guess I should try to continue with you" "I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #5 July 27, 2011 "I need a ruffie and a condom!!!!" I know it wasn't being used as a pickup line, but when you don't know the backstory, and you hear a girl saying it, it kinda sounds like one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #6 July 27, 2011 "Why yes, I am the one and only Shah." Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #7 July 27, 2011 LOL! have you actually used that one shah? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #8 July 27, 2011 Quote LOL! have you actually used that one shah? Nah not yet. But it should be good when I do right? Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freethefly 6 #9 July 27, 2011 Back in the summer of 1987 after testing rail all day on Conrail, we rolled into Bellefontaine, OH and tied up the rail test car for the weekend. I grabbed a shower and told the guy I was working with that I was heading over to the tavern. He said he'll be over in about an hour. I went into the tavern, sort of a hot rod bar with a lot of NASCAR stuff on the walls. There wasn't many people in the place at the time, as it was around 4pm. There was, however, three very nice looking ladies sitting at a table drinking. I claimed a stool at the bar and ordered a beer and a shot of bourbon. While sitting there, thinking up a good pick up line to use, one of them got up and walked my way. As she walked past me, heading for the restroom, she tossed a book of matches towards me. It landed next to my beer. She continued on her way to the restroom. See attachments. Needless to say, I had a very nice weekend. Kept those matches all of these years."...And once you're gone, you can't come back When you're out of the blue and into the black." Neil Young Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #10 July 27, 2011 omg! that's AWESOME! I want a match book like that! but that's an amazing pick up line not a bad one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
eeneR 1 #11 July 27, 2011 That is awesome! She is not a "Dumb Blonde" - She is a "Light-Haired Detour Off The Information Superhighway." eeneR TF#72, FB#4130, Incauto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #12 July 27, 2011 QuoteIf you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom's basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940's soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla? From the "What?" section of http://linesthataregood.com/Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #13 July 27, 2011 "You'll do" -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freethefly 6 #14 July 27, 2011 Quote omg! that's AWESOME! I want a match book like that! but that's an amazing pick up line not a bad one. I never tried using them myself to pick a lady up. Pretty sure that I would had got slapped 20 different ways if I had. Besides, I didn't want to risk losing them."...And once you're gone, you can't come back When you're out of the blue and into the black." Neil Young Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vanair 0 #15 July 27, 2011 Back in the 80s after working at woodstock Ct. DZ one Sunday. Paul Nelson and I ended up at a sorta dive bar. Very dead, we walk up to the bar and there is a lady sitting there with her arms crossed and her head on them resting on the bar. I tap her on the shoulder and ask "are you OK?" She straightens up, looks me up and down and says very drunk "Do you wanna fuck me?' I was kinda speechless not believing what I just heard. I sorta stammered that we were just wondering if she was OK. She looks past me at Paul looks him up and down and says "How about your buddy? does he wanna fuck me?" Bartender could we get 2 light drafts and whatever shes drinking. Turns out she caught her boyfriend in bed with another woman that day and just wanted to get drunk and get even. 30 minutes later I'm(Paul passed) in the back in her car helping her out. Bonus she was really good looking. Her pickup line worked for me. Never did write to Penthouse though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 26 #16 July 27, 2011 Quote Her pickup line worked for me. Is there a line that wouldnt work for a woman? Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jackwallace 3 #17 July 27, 2011 There were a couple bars near the DZ we use to crash wedding at, saturday nights after jumping. We were sitting in this small back room where there was an open tap. Through the door comes this very pregnant bride. She looked like a parade float with all that white poofy bribe stuff. She sits down at the table, looks around: "I looking for a better deal."U only make 2 jumps: the first one for some weird reason and the last one that you lived through. The rest are just filler. scr 316 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freethefly 6 #18 July 27, 2011 QuoteI was kinda speechless not believing what I just heard. I was the same way about the matchbook. Took my by complete surprise."...And once you're gone, you can't come back When you're out of the blue and into the black." Neil Young Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #19 July 27, 2011 The worst one I ever got was at a club in the 80's. A guy walked up to me and said, "you have very nice, child bearing hips." FAIL! Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dzdiva 7 #20 July 27, 2011 Kind of like mine. Back in my heavier days I got "you know, I've always been attracted to heavy women." My response was "you know, I've never really been attracted to assholes." Was gonna say.."me too!" but I didn't. "It's not just a daydream if you choose to make it your life..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
millertime24 8 #21 July 27, 2011 Want me to push your stool in for you? Muff #5048 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freethefly 6 #22 July 27, 2011 I've used the old "Can I clear a seat for you?" Then wiped my hand across my mouth. Oddly, it never worked.Probably had something to do with me being drunk at the time. "...And once you're gone, you can't come back When you're out of the blue and into the black." Neil Young Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyjumpenfool 2 #23 July 28, 2011 Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #24 July 28, 2011 Quote Quote LOL! have you actually used that one shah? Nah not yet. But it should be good when I do right? I take it back I used it last night, worked well.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
missbrz 0 #25 July 28, 2011 Quote Quote Quote LOL! have you actually used that one shah? Nah not yet. But it should be good when I do right? I take it back I used it last night, worked well. seriously?! thats awesome! good for you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
