colkikinit 0 #1 February 2, 2007 In the past 6 years of reading these forums I have decided there are about 11 types of posters on DZ.com what type are you?? Type 1 Lets start with the miscellaneous poster, “What’s the best ______?” or “What color ____ should I get?” or “You know what I did last night?” or “I just started AFF and it’s the greatest thing ever?” or “NSFW pics (I like these, usually scrolling so fast from attachment to attachment I miss all of the pointless words)” All enjoyable to kill time with, keeps the forums entertaining. Type 2 There’s the working professional poster, either an equipment manufacturer/designer or respected rigger, or just someone who has worked in the field enough to have intimate knowledge of a lot of skydiving related things. A wealth of knowledge, always happy when these guys/girls step up and are giving of their time. Type 3 The old time skydiver, “nothing is as good as it used to be” (btw I agree, maybe I’m in this catagory as well) “when we used to jump we didn’t have ________ “ fill in equipment/attitude here. These guys/girls probably fall under multiple categories. Incidentally these are the guys I like talking with the most around the bonfire after jumping at a DZ, maybe these aren’t the same as the ones posting because the posters are usually annoying and condescending. Maybe the ones that post are missing a gene or something… Type 4 The medical poster, either giving or getting. As soon as anything is posted that even makes a slight reference to anatomy and physiology out come the medical posters, expounding on the pros and cons of medical procedures and drugs and how they effect skydivers at 13,5. Usually posting in an effort to let EVERYONE online know that they are an EMT, Paramedic, PA, Optometrist, RN, XR or whatever. Don’t forget the getter, “I’m having chest pain and have been taking _____ is it safe”? or “How soon after having _____ procedure can I ____”? Go to a Doctor!!!! If you don’t have insurance that you shouldn’t be skydiving!! Type 5 The “I have 100 to 300 j’s, I’ve been in the sport for 1-3 years, and I’m always the 1st to voice my opinion when a question is asked” poster. We love this guy/girl, what a waste of time/bandwidth reading these posts. Nobody cares what you think and if someone with 50 j’s does care well then they shouldn’t. You are dangerous! Get out a notepad, write down what you think the answer is and then compare it to what the truly knowledgeable people say. And if you do turn out to be correct? Well I don’t want to read about it in the incidents forum because you threw your shoulder out trying to pat yourself on the back. Type 6 “PM sent” so annoying a mod had to take the time to make a sticky… Type 7 Lets not forget the swooper posters. The ones who take the time to explain how cutting edge they were when they started, downsizing at an alarming rate and some crazy w/l so early in their career, then berating someone else when they do it. “don’t do what I did, I was lucky, you wont be so lucky” not that I think these young skydivers should downsize quickly but please refrain from telling your “cutting edge” story all it does is entice someone to do the same thing… you reinforce their argument if not publicly, for fear of being flamed, then privately, “if ____ can survive than why cant I” These are also the same ones that will interject with an unsolicited flame about “canopy size for such a new skydiver” in a thread by a type 1 poster talking about how he is going to get a brand new rig and wants to know if anyone has ever had a red/black/white color combo before. Type 8 There’s the hugs and vibes, “I’ve had a horrible day please send…” woe is me…” “my boss is so mean please send some much needed hugs and vibes” Do you people act like this on the DZ?? Type 9 There’s the DZO poster, usually pontificating on what a kewl vibe their DZ has, with no drama, and how they would never ban anyone from their DZ all the while everyone, and I mean everyone knows what a lame-o they are! And the only reason no one tells them where to go is because their DZ is the only one within 100 miles with a turbo prop so everyone goes on letting them act the way they act just hoping someone will come to town and open a new DZ to run her/him out of town. Type 11 Don't forget the police poster, by far one of the most annoying, usually nothing informative to add to the conversation, just taking time and bandwidth to point out, “you haven’t filled out your profile”, or “YOUR YELLING, STOP YELLING” and then proceed to explain that typing in all caps is like yelling (which is ridiculous, what is this some multi-player online DD game? No it’s a forum and caps can be used to separate a part of your sentence if you want to raise your voice ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? It really doesn’t sound loud when read. Always there to let you know if it is a repost, and the important instructions on how to use the search function. You know you’re this guy if you have already checked my profile to see who I am, and are preparing my beating. Type 12 Finally the anonymous poster, what an ass this guy is… IM SURE I MISSED A FEW, THESE WERE JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD!! Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell <<<>>>>take a deep breath, relax and don't clinch your teeth together, it will all be over in a couple of minutes... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #2 February 2, 2007 nowe this is one of the funniest posts i have seen in a while You forgot the lets reply to every post so i can build up my post numbers.lol lmao hehe devil sign blah blah Or the posters that want to be the first to post about an injury death collision..lol look at me i knew they guy/girl for a month..http://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #3 February 2, 2007 What type of poster are you?? who gives a flyin fuck????? you figure it out, since youre all concerned and shit!if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #4 February 2, 2007 QuoteWhat type of poster are you?? who gives a flyin fuck????? you figure it out, since youre all concerned and shit! And here is the angry poster angry he doesnt have many jumps.lolhttp://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #5 February 2, 2007 na bud you got me all wrong skinny, i,m cool as the other side of the pillow. I dont get angry too muchif you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #6 February 2, 2007 Quotena bud you got me all wrong skinny, i,m cool as the other side of the pillow. I dont get angry too much Cool. I thjink the thread is funny. but then again i find everything humerous. So What kind of poster R U lolhttp://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
porpoishead 5 #7 February 2, 2007 the angry kind of course! angry cause I dont got enough jumps, i tried to start off at 1,000 or so but my bros said I had to start at 0 and do em one at a time like the rest of the fuknuts, who woulda thunk it huh!!if you want a friend feed any animal Perry Farrell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #8 February 2, 2007 fuck me just lie on here that's what we do. I am just off AFF don't tell anyone. What the poster missedd was my favourite......The spelling grammar police postershttp://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #9 February 2, 2007 Now THAT is some funny shit! 'Shell Type 13 -- the asshole poster. Only replies with "yeah, I agree"! 'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #10 February 2, 2007 QuoteNow THAT is some funny shit! 'Shell Type 12 -- the asshole poster. Only replies with "yeah, I agree"! No the asshole poster is the one that corrects your spelling or grammar.lol or the ones that just reply with an icon its like if yoiu found it funny why just respond with an icon weird I am the #14 poster the one that tells you how it is. but i get in a lot of trouble like thathttp://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
colkikinit 0 #11 February 2, 2007 **Bump** how could I forget everyones favorite the bump postertake a deep breath, relax and don't clinch your teeth together, it will all be over in a couple of minutes... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #12 February 2, 2007 QuoteQuoteNow THAT is some funny shit! 'Shell Type 12 -- the asshole poster. Only replies with "yeah, I agree"! No the asshole poster is the one that corrects your spelling or grammar.lol or the ones that just reply with an icon its like if yoiu found it funny why just respond with an icon weird I am the #14 poster the one that tells you how it is. but i get in a lot of trouble like that 'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl1 0 #13 February 2, 2007 Oroneswhousemanysmilefacesyournot surewhattheyarereallytryingto Are they mad? Are they just joking? The world may never knowFly like a girl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skinnyshrek 0 #14 February 2, 2007 Quote**Bump** how could I forget everyones favorite the bump poster No idiot the bump is promoting a boogie if you boogie is a piece of shit why do you have to keep bumping it.lolhttp://www.skydivethefarm.com do you realize that when you critisize people you dont know over the internet, you become part of a growing society of twats? ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stitch 0 #15 February 2, 2007 Word on the street is you are the closet poster. You figure it out. "No cookies for you"- GFD "I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65 Don't be a "Racer Hater" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #16 February 2, 2007 QuoteNow THAT is some funny shit! 'Shell Type 13 -- the asshole poster. Only replies with "yeah, I agree"! Type 14 the Squeak poster, ...he is the poster who tends to DISagree with most of what the loser posters say Apparently this poster riles other posters to the point where they dream about himYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #17 February 2, 2007 I am definitely a type 4 poster. I know everything there is to know about medicine. "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #18 February 2, 2007 Inanities Give me all your inanities. If you come up short, insanities is OK, too. Read my sig line. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #19 February 2, 2007 LMAO``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #20 February 2, 2007 Type #10 is my favorite. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JENNR8R 0 #21 February 2, 2007 How about the poster who can't figure out which forum to put a thread in and makes the moderators move it.What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy ones? -- Monday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #22 February 2, 2007 Quote Type 14 the Squeak poster, ...he is the poster who tends to DISagree with most of what the loser posters say Apparently this poster riles other posters to the point where they dream about himI think you're wrong... Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apollard24 0 #23 February 2, 2007 QuoteType #10 is my favorite. I had to go back a see what your talking about....Breathe out so I can breathe you in... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #24 February 2, 2007 QuoteQuote Type 14 the Squeak poster, ...he is the poster who tends to DISagree with most of what the loser posters say Apparently this poster riles other posters to the point where they dream about himI think you're wrong... you are most certainly allowed to think that (it's your right apparently) but you would still be mistakenYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ToyMaker 0 #25 February 2, 2007 Im the type 15 poster... Type 15 - The late poster The type of poster that only gets to read a lot but not post much because he is so busy working that whenever he gets some time to read any thread, it has SO many posts in it that any additional comment would be useless, a re post or he missed the joke for more than 10 hours. _______________________________________ White cute poodle puppy found. Approximately six months of age. Blue collar but no tags. Very friendly. Tasted like chicken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
