Skydiving with kids

[flashpipe 1]

I've been jumping for 15 years, shooting video, am a senior rigger, have 1500 jumps and competed for 4 years at the Nationals on a CRW team. Three years ago I got married and had kids. I've got a 1-year old and a 3-year old. Two years ago I broke an A line on opening, the canopy seemed to fly okay, so I landed it and ended with an L1 compression fracture. I haven't jumped since then, but am thinking about getting back into it.

My wife and family have LOTS of concerns and are telling me that anyone would tell me that it's an unacceptable risk to take. I'm in the process of getting life insurance coverage and AD&D coverage so that I should be covered financially, but was wondering what some of you think about skydiving, safety and parenting...

I know when it comes down to it, it's my decision to make, but I'm interested in what other skydivers think...

Thanks!!

[skybytch 259]

Risk management. That's what I used to convince my parents that I was doing everything I could to skydive relatively safely. I was a single parent and they would have ended up raising my kid if I'd died; they had a valid reason for concern.

Let your wife and family know that you will do everything you can to be safe in the air. Some ways you can reduce risk that they might understand include flying larger and more conservative canopies, not landing them aggressively, flying defensively both in freefall and under canopy, not jumping when conditions are less than ideal, keeping the size of your skydives small, having an AAD and RSL on your rig, not jumping when you are less than 100% mentally or physically, and not doing "extraordinary" jumps.

Good luck!

[mamajumps 0]

I am a single mom with 3 kids. I just bought another rig and plan on getting current within the month. Yes skydiving is risky and yes shit can happen... however, living life on the pretense of what could happen is going to make you an old boring man real quick. My intention by skydiving is not to orphan my kids, but rather to live my life. When I am 80, sitting in my rocker, I want to be talking with my fellow jumpers about a good day of jumping instead of reminiscing on what could have been....

[PrairieDoug 0]

I had 4 kids under the age of 10 when I started jumping, and with the benefit of hindsight would make the same choice. However, having young kids does increase the consequences if something goes wrong. Candidly, I'm a lot more comfortable with the risks of skydiving now that my children are older.

Until you get to that point, make sure your insurance coverage is adequate (as it seems you have) and possibly make more conservative choices re. equipment, etc. like skybytch said.

Aside from safety concerns, I think the trickiest part is maintaining a healthy balance between skydiving and family. Failure to do so could cause you to miss out on a lot of good stuff at home and also piss your wife off even more.

Best wishes with your family and (possible) return to the sport.

Doug

[airtwardo 6]

You have to do some introspective cost / benefit analysis and then, like you said make the decision for yourself.

You've been around the sport, and you've been injured..so you're actually in a better position to make a logical call than most.

Do you love the sport enough to justify the inherent risks?

I do...I take a few less chances now that I have kids, I hedge my bets and don't push the envelope as I perhaps once did.

For me skydiving is a part of who I am, I enjoy it and believe I would probably be lesser if I quit, not as happy for certain...and the kids definitely have a better home life when daddy's happy.

That being said, I too make the effort to see than my family will be secure should the worse happen, and that factors into the equation.

My wife on the other hand felt differently, she's a professional airline pilot that use to sideline as an aerobatic competitor and airshow performer.

When the kids came along, (3 adopted) we sold the aerobatic airplane, the sports cars and the motorcycles.
She just felt she'd played the odds long enough and it wasn't worth it to her anymore.

I admire her decision, she's fine with mine.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[DrewEckhardt 0]

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My wife and family have LOTS of concerns and are telling me that anyone would tell me that it's an unacceptable risk to take. I'm in the process of getting life insurance coverage and AD&D coverage so that I should be covered financially, but was wondering what some of you think about skydiving, safety and parenting...

Don't forget about sufficient disability insurance. The 60% of base salary you get from typical group plans is still taxable when the premiums are paid for with pre-tax dollars.

Companies can let you pay the taxes on the benefit which makes the insurance pay-out tax free if you need to use it.

[wmw999 2,116]

Make sure that your plan for re-starting includes spending enough quality time with your family, so that you don't end up like a new jumper again...

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[johnboy 0]

I've been around the sport for almost 16 years, including my eight year layoff shortly after marraige (piss poor college kids). My wife always new that skydiving was part of the package and has always been okay with it. My layoff from the sport ended after my first kid turned 4. I have discussed this with my wife more than once, and her only request is that my canopy choices are conservative and I always jump with an AAD. So far the smallest canopy I've jumped is the Hornet 190 I'm still using today and my Cypress got new batteries a few months ago. And one of the coolest things on the planet is landing next to my giggling girls and collapsing my parachute on their heads.

There are undoubtedly risks in this game, but they can be calculated and managed. I've seen a few friends leave the sport after kids and absolutely respect their decisions. I've also seen friends leave the sport when their new spouse says its time to sell the gear. I can't help but feel sorry for those as it was not really their decision, nor can I understand how a relationship could work if someone couldn't accept a big part of what makes the other person tick. If they were trying to compete with Luigi on who's got the smallest life expectency, err, parachute, then I might have a different opinion.

So to end a long post, I think most of us here can see it both ways. Your marraige will always be more important than skydiving, but she needs to be understanding, too. Also understand that your kids will only be this size one time, and missing out on it sucks. That's the single biggest reason my jump numbers are as high as I would like them to be.

As long as you are doing what you feel is right, you'll get a thumb's up from me.

[CornishChris 5]

It's something I go through alot. I have a two year old and a 9 week old. I don't jump as much as I would like but still love it.

The thought of leaving my kids to grow up with no dad is heartbreaking and one I hope that never happens. If I die will it have been worth it - I think not. But then the same could be said for riding my bike, or driving my car.

I have decided to keep jumping and do everything in my power to be safe - I just think I would be one miserable bastard if I avoided all the risky things in my life. I may revisit this at some point in the future but who knows.

If my wife asked me to stop however it would be a very different thing. I am 90% sure I would stop if she asked. A friend of mine's wife asked him to chose between BASE and her and their daughter and he chose them. If you want to be happy then you need to consider their happiness as well as your own.

CJP

Gods don't kill people. People with Gods kill people

[Skydivesg 6]

Lots of very good stuff here from everyone.

The bottom line is you have to make the decision for yourself.

If you are pressured to quit against your wishes you will forever be resentful of those who brought the pressure and will lead a life of quiet desperation.

Good luck.

Be the canopy pilot you want that other guy to be.

[johnboy 0]

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Also understand that your kids will only be this size one time, and missing out on it sucks. That's the single biggest reason my jump numbers are as high as I would like them to be.

Since it's too late to edit my previous post, insert an appropriate "not" on my jump numbers comment. Duh me!

[Rover 9]

Mate, you've been jumping longer than you've been married and had kids. I assume that you entered into both activities with your eyes open. Therefore it's up to you what you do.

Before I got married I'd been jumping for 16 years and I told my lady to never use the 'it's me or jumping' line because the answer is obvious. That still stands today. Your wife knew that you were a jumper before you got married, and was probably proud of the fact, so whats changed!

I've got a 5 year old boy and I love him to bits. Because of him I've gone back to school and I'll finish my masters this year. This is because I want to do the best for him and be able to provide. I'm going to finish as a full time tandem instructor at the end of the season downunder and get a job.

I've just bought a base rig and I'm going to a local bridge in the next few days. I'll keep doing tandems and camera as a weekend warrior. I want to learn how to freefly and I want a smaller main. I want to watch my boy grow up. I don't want to die a long lingering death such as I witnessed recently with a friend conking out with motor neuron disease.

I guess my point is that living is the biggest cause of death and you can choose to waste away before your time or live a full life until it ends. How you define 'a full life' is up to you as the individual. I know my path at this point in time. Good luck in finding yours and I hope your decision is the right one.

BSBD

2 wrongs don't make a right - but 3 lefts do.

[Ruskin 0]

Whilst I was pregnant with my first baby who is now 8 months old I could not decide whether I wanted to restart my skydiving training after the birth. I was involved in the sport for about 3 years but never actually qualified despite wind tunnels, static line and AFF. Due to financial reasons I had not jumped for a while before getting pregnant. Since having my beautiful baby girl my decision was easily made. At this present moment in time I do not want to take any extra risk with my life as I want a long and happy life with my Daughter and Partner. I think about skydiving every day and miss it so much, but it was unbelievable how my mind was made up once I fell in love with the best thing that has happened to me, my Daughter. I used to think Skydiving was the best thing in the world but now I know that Motherhood beats everything. I sometimes consider doing a tandem jump and also the possibility that I may restart my training once my Daughter is older but for the time been I do not want to jump. To cut a long reply short I would say that you will get a gut feeling about what you want to do. Everyone is different.

[flashpipe 1]

Thanks to you all for the excellent input!! My wife and I have had many discussions about this and we have decided that, at least for now, I'll go ahead and get all the insurance I can and jump as safely as possible, making all my decisions knowing that my family depends on me and also supports me in my decision.

I'm sure the extra cost and reduced time jumping (compared to my previous jumping) will make me re-evaluate my decision every year when the insurance premium comes up again, and I'll have to see how many camera jumps I can make to offset those costs and see how much jumping keeps me away from spending time with the family.

Nothing is more important to me than my wife and kids, but they are aware of how much I love skydiving (I'm always teased at the DZ about how much I smile in the air) and it's wonderful to know that my happiness is important enough to them for them to trust my decision.

Thanks again!!!!

[jman 0]

I think you are being smart by insuring yourself for your family. In one scenario, you always hear of those who drank all their life & lived to be one hundred or those who die young without ever being the slightest off course of a healthy life. I've been questioning myself about buying and riding a motorcycle because of fuel costs. I used to ride many years ago and loved every minute of my riding. My concern is about the cell phone idiots that I avoid in my 4 wheel vehicles every single day. As far as skydiving, I've felt jumping was a combination of learning who to listen to and who to avoid will help keep you as safe as you can prepare for. I previously rock climbed for over 15 years and felt the same way. I literally know the person who was killed or severely injured going to the store to buy milk. You can't sit on the couch & be afraid & you can't go over your head. My limits are financial more than anything.
Have Fun, Be Safe.

[in2jumping 0]

I picked up AD&D insurance cheaply ($25 a month) from Mutual of Omaha, it covers me for $300k and there is no skydiving exclusion.

[flashpipe 1]

Thanks for the tip!! I'll check in on that for sure!!

[Waldschrat 0]

Be not worried.....Restart skydiving

Cut canopys with broken A-lines away.


P.S. Give your driving license back ;)

[flashpipe 1]

Well, after all these conversations, all the research into insurance, all the decisions we made, my wife finally told me last night that she has such anxiety every time she thinks about me jumping again while we have kids that are so dependent on me that she gets panic attacks.

So, I tried to reason with her, explain the relative safety of the sport (again), but she wasn't willing to listen. Other than going to get counseling, I'm not sure I have any options, so, I think I'll hold off another year and re-visit this again when the kids get a little older...maybe I'll look into kite surfing...

Thanks, and get some freefall for me!!!!

[BETO74 0]

Kitesurfing is also a great sport with great people in it, also dangerous but not as dangerous as skydiving you can take the family to the beach and all spand quality time, sometimes we have to make decisions based on the people around us, I dont know you but respect your decision a 100%.
Good luck

http://web.mac.com/ac057a/iWeb/AC057A/H0M3.html

[Orange1 0]

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Kitesurfing is also a great sport with great people in it, also dangerous but not as dangerous as skydiving you can take the family to the beach and all spand quality time, sometimes we have to make decisions based on the people around us, I dont know you but respect your decision a 100%.
Good luck

Well, not sure how quality the beach time is when it's windy enough for good kitesurfing! Been a whole rash of kitesurfing injuries among my work colleagues recently..
However - I do agree that family comes first. It's just a shame that you can't work round this - maybe getting her to chat to other people around the dz etc may help?

Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun.

[flashpipe 1]

Well, here we are, 2 years later. It's now been 5 years since I skydived and I've spent many warm summer days looking up at the sky and watching planes go by.

Last month my wife told me she wanted a divorce, she has already found a new boyfriend and is moving on. Not too upset about that. There's been lots of controlling behavior, and not skydiving wasn't the only thing she was asking of me and, part of me is relieved that I no longer have to try to work so hard to be who she wants me to be instead of who I was when we met.

We're dealing with the break-up as rationally and fairly as we can, mostly because I refuse to be drawn into a big fight that will only hurt the kids, so, I moved out of the house until she figures out what she wants. I’m seeing the kids every day and taking them every weekend for now, while she’s going out with her new boyfriend. Once we get the separation agreement in place (next week), I’ll start working on re-building my life and am looking forward to jumping again! I sold all my gear 2 years ago, but have already had several of my buddies offer me their second rigs to use until I can get my own gear again.

I’ve got to get my insurance set up, have to make sure I can afford to jump between child support, mortgage (once she buys a different house and I move back into our place) and time. My first priority, of course, is spending time with the kids, but, I can shoot video to help supplement my jumping and will only go out when I don’t have them.

Maybe I should have put my foot down 2 years ago, but, at least at this point, the final divorce decision was hers and she’s the one with the new boyfriend, so, hopefully that will keep her from trying to screw me over any more and life will go on.

Looking forward to that first exit and having all my troubles blow away in the 120 mph wind!!

[JohnMitchell 14]

Holy crap! Well, welcome back. Sorry you hooked up with the wrong woman.

I know a couple of other guys who've been through about the same situation. Good luck to you.

Hey, all you single guys out there? If she wants to make you quit jumping, RUN LIKE HELL!

[timmyfitz 0]

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Hey, all you single guys out there? If she wants to make you quit jumping, RUN LIKE HELL!

Also watch for this, as flashpipe said.

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part of me is relieved that I no longer have to try to work so hard to be who she wants me to be instead of who I was when we met.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when a woman tells you about all the qualities that attracted her to you but then tries to change all of them.

[JohnMitchell 14]

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Nothing makes a guy happier than when a woman tells you about all the qualities that attracted her to you but then tries to change all of them.

There's that old joke:

When a man gets married, he thinks the woman won't change.
When a woman gets married, she thinks the man will.



I gotta say all women are not like that, esp. the ones that jump out of planes.