shah269 0 #1 November 7, 2011 Well it happened again.....there I am date 5ish or something...the sleepovers went well all was good and I was starting to think OK maybe I should just focus on one girl. And then it happened while we were out to the movies, "Shah, what are your thoughts on kids?" Shah is thinking.....really....now? I mean we are watching a really good movie! So I do the right thing and just ignore her and continue watching. As we walk out of the movies she holding my hand asks again, now I'm thinking...oh brother....you are kidding me right! I mean the other night we were talking about how cool it would be to travel the world? And I had told you woman how on my last trans oceanic flight where there were 4 screaming kids I was thinking of kicking open the door and jumping..... So I tell her no......and then she blew up....holy fires from hell did she blow up. Things I was called ranged from "Shallow, self centered, cold, selfish...." and so on and so on and so on.....and then I dropped her off and will never see her again. Shame because she was a very nice girl, well educated, had a job, looked very good and wanted to travel and explore the world...all things you can't really do with a kid or kids. So I'm asking; Ladies! How many of you wish to have kids NOW and if not you how many of you have friends who have baby fever? I know in a way I'm ice skating uphill in not wanting to reproduce but just wondering how steep the hill really is. Thanks in advanceLife through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #2 November 7, 2011 QuoteShame because she was a very nice girl, well educated, had a job, looked very good and wanted to travel and explore the world...all things you can't really do with a kid or kids. Why can't your travel with kids? My kids have been to 5 other countries with me or my ex. Seeing the world through a child's eye can actually enhance the experience.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 143 #3 November 7, 2011 Quote Quote Shame because she was a very nice girl, well educated, had a job, looked very good and wanted to travel and explore the world...all things you can't really do with a kid or kids. Why can't your travel with kids? My kids have been to 5 other countries with me or my ex. Seeing the world through a child's eye can actually enhance the experience. Imagine the spawn of Shah on a flightExperienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DesertAttorney 0 #4 November 7, 2011 *Intruding to put in a guy's perspective* Dude, if you do not want kids, Pull the Cutaway handle NOW. Better to get out now by yourself versus later with 18 years of Child support payments... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #5 November 7, 2011 QuoteQuoteShame because she was a very nice girl, well educated, had a job, looked very good and wanted to travel and explore the world...all things you can't really do with a kid or kids. Why can't your travel with kids? My kids have been to 5 other countries with me or my ex. Seeing the world through a child's eye can actually enhance the experience. One word...cost. I make good money for a guy my age. I've worked hard for it. So two people going to Kenya....yeah we can swing that if she made say 50% of what I made. Two peole + kids to Kenya.....nope! Child care is expensive, I was amazed the other day when one of the girls in the office stated how much she spent on child care per month. It was a car payment on a BMW! A few months of it were a trip to Australia! Thus for me, just looking at the finances and knowing who I am, way less trusting than I use to be, kids are just not my thing. But then again, dating 22-25 year old girls.....not my thing either. I like dating girls my age (early 30's) and I like girls who have an education and who have jobs and......well......at that age biology really starts kicking your ladies in the ovaries! DesertAttorney Yes we are not seeing each other any more. When i was in the court house getting my ass divorced by my cheating bitch of an x wife the guy in front of me who did not look as if he was worth millions was told by the judge he had to pay $2k a month for his 2 kids in child support. Right there and then I almost took a pen to my testies thinking "FUCK! $2k a month! WTF!"Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #7 November 7, 2011 Quote So I tell her no AND YADDA YADDA YADDA......and then she blew up.... Edited for something probably closer to the actual events... Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #8 November 7, 2011 There wasn't a poll option for "Had kids, life was fine." Sure, they cost money, but it was worth every dime. Did we travel as much as our childless friends? Maybe not, but our holidays at home with the kids were as rich and rewarding as any vacation. And my wife and I continued to skydive a lot and travel a bit, sometimes with the kids, sometimes with the kids at Grandma's. Kids really don't have to be as expensive as some think. If one of the spouses works less or stays at home, daycare costs go way down. Learn to cook a little and all of a sudden feeding a lot of people becomes very inexpensive. Sure, you'll want to pay for orthodontics, but every special baseball camp and fancy thing that comes along? Forget it. Get the family pass to the zoo and the science center and take the kids there. Ivy league schools? Not unless they're getting a full ride. Dad's paying for state schools. If you don't like that, learn to salute. As far as the big Y option , I don't know how V carried those kids and still fit back in her jumpsuit. I guess you need to marry an athlete, Shah. So I'm not saying you have to do it, but being a father is not a death sentence. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #9 November 7, 2011 JohnMitchell Well put! Look don't get me wrong, I LOVE KIDS! But for me right now, yes finances are an issue due to cost associated with kids. Yet the major issue John, trust. I've lost trust. And I fear by the time I have it again, well who wants to have kids in their late 40's? Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #10 November 7, 2011 QuoteChild care is expensive, I was amazed the other day when one of the girls in the office stated how much she spent on child care per month. It was a car payment on a BMW! There it is. You're thinking in terms of material possessions and personal entertainment, instead of on the richly rewarding emotional experience of raising kids and having a family. If that's what you want, that's fine, I'm not knocking it. Yes, kids are expensive and time consuming, but there's nothing else in the world as rewarding or fulfilling in the long run. If you wait until the finances are right, you'll never get there, because there's never enough money. Heck, I raised two kids starting as a Marine Corps Private making $4k per year. We managed despite the lack of money. Sometimes I envy those folks who spend their youth freewheeling around spending lots of money on themselves, owning nice things, and doing grand stuff. Sometimes I wish I could have lived my life like that. But then, I have two great kids, and that's even better. And then I wonder what their life is like when they get older, no longer have their youth, good looks or money, and there's no family around to love them unconditionally, no wife who stuck by their side through thick and thin, no children, no grandchildren, no joy of providing the magic of Christmas for their kids... That all seems lonely and barren to me. To each his own, and live with the consequences. Photo of my boys, attached. Can a photo of a BMW make you tear-up with pride and joy, like this one does for me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #11 November 7, 2011 Omigod.I find myself agreeing with Shah."The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children." -- Clarence Darrow "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 620 #12 November 7, 2011 Having kids isn't a financial decision. If it were, I'm not so sure any of us would be here today.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arvoitus 1 #13 November 7, 2011 If you keep dating women over 30 you'll have to deal with the fact that they're all infected with baby rabies as they've realised that their ovaries are drying up and they're running out of time. If you truly, really don't want children but want to keep banging 30+ year olds then you really have only one option. Get your tubes tied up/cut. That way you don't have to worry about getting some chick preggers even if she goes off pills in order to induce an 'oops' pregnancy. And you don't have to deal with them getting pissed off as you can lie to them about wanting kids and all that stuff, because you can't actually have children even if you try. And if you're worried about actually maybe wanting children one day, then get some sperm frozen and you'll have 100% control over *your* reproductive rights.Your rights end where my feelings begin. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,116 #14 November 7, 2011 Nothing wrong with not wanting kids. Really. I am incredibly glad I have a son, and I kind of wish I'd had more -- but it's not for everyone. And what Arvoitus says is right -- if you're sure you don't want kids, be responsible for your own reproductive ability. And continue to be up front -- there are women out there who don't want kids out there (some of them post on dz.com). Of course, the more your restrictions on who you're going to date, the smaller the pool. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #15 November 7, 2011 Arvoitus Well put. Very well put. Dating girls who are in their mid 20's is fun but....what the hell do you talk about. I guess I could just start dating older? But yeah talk about ice skating up hill!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wayneflorida 0 #16 November 7, 2011 She played you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #17 November 7, 2011 Quote She played you. I have no idea WHAT gives! I meet a nice girl, we go out, she doesn't bring up the kid thing...which is nice. We talk about life and it's evident from my car to what I want to do in the next 10 years that kids are not a part of my equation. And she seems ok with it...... But then she comes over, then she see's I have my life is together and I'm not living at home in my parents basement and I have a job and I can take care of myself and something changes....it's almost as if a switch goes off and she starts "thinking" and in a few dates she asks me if I want to have kids. Hell I've dumped girls......really nice girls ;-( ....because I could hear them suggesting kids. God the worst was when I was just on the phone with this one girl and she said "Oh you will change your mind when you meet the right person....giggle giggle...." an no....and I dumped her the next day. And don’t even think of online dating and not wanting to have kids! First off I know eharmony and the other well organized dating web pages do not even let you in the door if you are not interested in having kids! And if you are on one of the more public web pages...saying in your profile you are not sure or do not want to have kids? Well that's kind of like posting photo of yourself with a big cold sore on your lip!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #18 November 7, 2011 Quote Well it happened again.....there I am date 5ish or something...the sleepovers went well all was good and I was starting to think OK maybe I should just focus on one girl. ... So I tell her no......and then she blew up....holy fires from hell did she blow up. Things I was called ranged from "Shallow, self centered, cold, selfish...." and so on and so on and so on.....and then I dropped her off and will never see her again. Good thing you got rid of her, she sounds a bit slow... took her 5 dates to figure you out."I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #19 November 7, 2011 Quote And don’t even think of online dating and not wanting to have kids! First off I know eharmony and the other well organized dating web pages do not even let you in the door if you are not interested in having kids! Well, so that's what eHarmony's all about; that's their prerogative to specialize in a particular type of person who's looking for a particular type of person. You wouldn't go to J-Date and wonder where all the Gentile chicks are? Or to gay.com and wonder where all the straight girls were? Nope, you find the site or sites that cater to what you're looking for. Quote And if you are on one of the more public web pages...saying in your profile you are not sure or do not want to have kids? Well that's kind of like posting photo of yourself with a big cold sore on your lip! So then the alternative is implying that you do want kids and getting five dates in and having a repeat of last night? Yeah, that sounds like a great approach. Shah, you gotta recognize that in the Venn diagram of single women, there may or may not be an intersection point that meets every single one of your criteria. And if there is, it's a pretty small sliver. But better to search within that sliver than to waste your time outside of it."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #20 November 7, 2011 QuoteShah, you gotta recognize that in the Venn diagram of single women, there may or may not be an intersection point that meets every single one of your criteria. And if there is, it's a pretty small sliver. But better to search within that sliver than to waste your time outside of it. Venn diagram....really? ha ha Yeah, it's not going to be easy and at times it will not be fun. I may be looking for the impossible or I may have to just live with dating younger ladies or......well I'm not going to date larger ladies with out jobs or an education that's for sure.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver30960 0 #21 November 7, 2011 Quote Shah, you gotta recognize that in the Venn diagram of single women... Careful, NWF: that's an engineering term. Shah might explode. Elvisio "null set" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rifleman 61 #22 November 7, 2011 You could always try Adult Friend Finder. A friend of mine uses them mainly because he's not into having kids and most of the people on there are either looking for just sex or a relationshship that doesn't involve kids.Atheism is a Non-Prophet Organisation Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 620 #23 November 7, 2011 You could switch teams. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sxc 0 #24 November 7, 2011 I am really, really REALLY glad to hear that there will not be any more Shah's wandering the earth. Us skinny, female engineers with personality and flashy cars of our own just couldn't handle it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #25 November 7, 2011 Quote Quote Shah, you gotta recognize that in the Venn diagram of single women... Careful, NWF: that's an engineering term. Shah might explode. Elvisio "null set" Rodriguez I know! And an engineering term thrown out by a >Size 8 chick who skydives AND works in IT (though to be fair, I do have liberal arts and business degrees). "There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
