popsjumper 2 #26 February 17, 2012 QuoteFrom Skymama: That said, no one can walk all over you unless you give them permission. So, it's time to nip this in the bud. I agree with that. However, my bud-nipping is different than hers, to wit: Guppie...how long is this to go on before you realize that it's not your problem and send him back to Mama. It's a problem between him and her. You're gonna get nowhere as long as Mama is interfering so what's the point of letting it screw up YOUR life? "Hey guess what? I'm not going to bug you about stuff anymore! Yay! Because you're sorry ass is outta here and back with your Mama! Pack up big boy! Yay!"My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #27 February 17, 2012 I really disagree with the people who are saying to kick him out. Gia didn't say he was a bad person, he's just been coddled his whole life and doesn't know anything different. Steve and Gia now have a chance to really make a difference in his life and give him proper skills to succeed. It's going to take a few months of adjustment and there are going to be some tough nights, but the payoff of helping him grow as an adult is worth it. He may be an "adult" but he's still acting like a teenager because he's been allowed to. Set the rules, be firm yet loving, remember to schedule fun times together, let him see that you view him as a contributing member of the household and not just a kid anymore, be consistant and I bet you will see results. If you don't see any change in 3 months, then kick his ass out. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpsalot-2 2 #28 February 17, 2012 I always fall back on "most of this started when we stopped spanking children".....but getting past that, maybe you should "sign him up" for a new project, as he would not do it himself...it's called the Army....will straighten him right out..... Life is short ... jump often. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #29 February 17, 2012 I always fall back on "most of this started when we stopped spanking children".....*** Spanking is for lazy parents.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 38 #30 February 17, 2012 Quote I always fall back on "most of this started when we stopped spanking children".....*** Spanking a 19 yr old is for lazy crazy parents. FIFY lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #31 February 17, 2012 I was IM'ing a former co-worker the other day and learned his son had recently graduated high school and moved out: "We gave him 3 options, any of which he had to do 40 hrs per week: a) School. b) Job. c) Charity work. He didn't like the options, so he moved out. We aren't going to support him when all he does is eat, sleep, and play video games.""There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyjumpenfool 2 #32 February 17, 2012 Quote I voted Boobies...for your husband. As for the Brat. I second Skymama's approach. If that doesn't work. I will happily knock him into next week for you. I was on my own at 16. Art Student pfft . Let me at 'im. You might want to let him read some of these posts.... He might find out how lucky he is to have you as a step-mom!! I'm just saying?Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #33 February 17, 2012 Quote Quote I voted Boobies...for your husband. As for the Brat. I second Skymama's approach. If that doesn't work. I will happily knock him into next week for you. I was on my own at 16. Art Student pfft . Let me at 'im. You might want to let him read some of these posts.... He might find out how lucky he is to have you as a step-mom!! I'm just saying? Guess I'm lucky.... Got a call from our oldest last night (son age 21), I knew he was struggling but he hid how much until last nite. This is a kid who had some 'problems' at 16 & 17... bright kid ends up with GED because 'too cool for school' syndrome. Was home on the couch at 18 and I told him work, school, military...you have 30 days. Tough kid ~ 10 days later ...moved out and he was in school working on his A&P, month later he was doing that AND working part time at a home improvement place and doing landscaping with another company on the weekends...ended all financial dependency on us...on his own!! Wouldn't take $$ for anything... 18 in school...paying ALL his own bills and proud of doin' it. TOUGH kid! finished school...mostly A's, but with the economy and 'troubled' past, kinda hard getting on with anyone. . .airplane fixin' wise. Started installing custom hardwood floors with a good company, branched off to his own business! Car, apartment, tools, materials...GF in college he's helping financially. Well...he's young, made some business mistakes, got ripped off & lost lot$$ in tools...bla bla bla ~ in short ~ in over his head and had to pull the plug. Called me as a LAST resort last night, I was out of state but came right back. . .we had a long talk, kid's honest, hard working and took a shot. win some, lose some... ~ like i don't know shit happens.Moved him in here this morning, he was living an hour away...by noon he had 4 job applications in and I gotta tell y'all, I'm actually kind of proud of the way he's handling what's going on. No whining, no bitchin' no woe is me...just looking at plan B Tough kid...Life's tough....he's gonna make it! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #34 February 17, 2012 That's good that you'll be a safety net. Hell, you love the kid, right? But you were smart not to let him use it for a hammock. BTW, we taught all of our kids to cook at a very early age. That and how money works are two of the best lessons you can give them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 38 #35 February 17, 2012 Quote That's good that you'll be a safety net. Hell, you love the kid, right? But you were smart not to let him use it for a hammock. BTW, we taught all of our kids to cook at a very early age. That and how money works are two of the best lessons you can give them. And laundry eta: I taught them how to do it as soon as they were able to reach the controls. It was their responsibility, and if they ran out of clean clothes, oh, well, that won't happen again. And it didn't. One of the most important things a parent can teach a child, besides right, wrong and how to be an all-around good and kind person, is how to be independent of ME. I'm not always going to be here. lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Trafficdiver 8 #36 February 17, 2012 Quote Well...he's young, made some business mistakes, got ripped off & lost lot$$ in tools...bla bla bla ~ in short ~ in over his head and had to pull the plug. I got screwed out of 15K or so when I was 23 by a builder in CT, That was the last fucker who ever screwed me out of money. If they don't want to do a credit check now I say fine. Pay me up front, when the check clears I'll come by and install the fireplace. Some things you just can't learn in college. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #37 February 17, 2012 Quote That's good that you'll be a safety net. Hell, you love the kid, right? But you were smart not to let him use it for a hammock. BTW, we taught all of our kids to cook at a very early age. That and how money works are two of the best lessons you can give them. Teach your youngest to knit FASTERYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akarunway 1 #38 February 17, 2012 Are we in the womens forum?I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #39 February 17, 2012 It's not just kids of today, remember Aristotle /Plato et al. were banging on about how kids (mis)behave - same old same old. Quote"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint" (Hesiod, 8th century BC). See attached! (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #40 February 17, 2012 Quote I really disagree with the people who are saying to kick him out..... Steve and Gia now have a chance to really make a difference in his life...... Set the rules, be firm yet loving.... Touchy-feely, good common sense advice, spoken with love in her heart, and then comes the kicker.... Quote If you don't see any change in 3 months, then kick his ass out. WHAM! Romance novel with a surprise ending. Smackdown a la 'Mama! You see guys? THIS is why when 'Mama talks,everybody listens. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #41 February 17, 2012 Might I suggest you stop funding him? When he loses his cell and tuition support, he might consider going and getting a job... or just sit at home and sulk. If the latter is the case, put locks on anything with food in it and hide his video came console. If he don't start pullin' a little bit of weight by then, I can see no hope for this kid without going the way of the belt or the boot. Then again, I don't have kids... I just are one. Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #42 February 17, 2012 Quote Teach your youngest to knit FASTER I'll lock 'er in the sewing room. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #43 February 17, 2012 Quote That's good that you'll be a safety net. Hell, you love the kid, right? But you were smart not to let him use it for a hammock. BTW, we taught all of our kids to cook at a very early age. That and how money works are two of the best lessons you can give them. Proud papa update...he got a job he tried for yesterday. Foreman @ LawnPro, starts tomorrow! Can't keep a good man down!! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 0 #44 February 17, 2012 Quote Quote That's good that you'll be a safety net. Hell, you love the kid, right? But you were smart not to let him use it for a hammock. BTW, we taught all of our kids to cook at a very early age. That and how money works are two of the best lessons you can give them. Proud papa update...he got a job he tried for yesterday. Foreman @ LawnPro, starts tomorrow! Can't keep a good man down!! Or in your case, even the bad ones.Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #45 February 17, 2012 Quote Quote That's good that you'll be a safety net. Hell, you love the kid, right? But you were smart not to let him use it for a hammock. BTW, we taught all of our kids to cook at a very early age. That and how money works are two of the best lessons you can give them. Proud papa update...he got a job he tried for yesterday. Foreman @ LawnPro, starts tomorrow! Can't keep a good man down!! You've done good! I can only hope mine turns out as good or better."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,051 #46 February 17, 2012 Quote I really disagree with the people who are saying to kick him out. Gia didn't say he was a bad person, he's just been coddled his whole life and doesn't know anything different. Steve and Gia now have a chance to really make a difference in his life and give him proper skills to succeed. It's going to take a few months of adjustment and there are going to be some tough nights, but the payoff of helping him grow as an adult is worth it. He may be an "adult" but he's still acting like a teenager because he's been allowed to. Set the rules, be firm yet loving, remember to schedule fun times together, let him see that you view him as a contributing member of the household and not just a kid anymore, be consistant and I bet you will see results. If you don't see any change in 3 months, then kick his ass out. HEY!!!! We're trying to keep this on a fucking emotional level here and you step in with all this logic bullshit. Go to your room, young lady.Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #47 February 17, 2012 Quote Quote That's good that you'll be a safety net. Hell, you love the kid, right? But you were smart not to let him use it for a hammock. BTW, we taught all of our kids to cook at a very early age. That and how money works are two of the best lessons you can give them. Proud papa update...he got a job he tried for yesterday. Foreman @ LawnPro, starts tomorrow! Can't keep a good man down!! Twardo, your young man sounds like a fine one! Good on him!!! g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #48 February 17, 2012 Quote Quote I really disagree with the people who are saying to kick him out. Gia didn't say he was a bad person, he's just been coddled his whole life and doesn't know anything different. Steve and Gia now have a chance to really make a difference in his life and give him proper skills to succeed. It's going to take a few months of adjustment and there are going to be some tough nights, but the payoff of helping him grow as an adult is worth it. He may be an "adult" but he's still acting like a teenager because he's been allowed to. Set the rules, be firm yet loving, remember to schedule fun times together, let him see that you view him as a contributing member of the household and not just a kid anymore, be consistant and I bet you will see results. If you don't see any change in 3 months, then kick his ass out. HEY!!!! We're trying to keep this on a fucking emotional level here and you step in with all this logic bullshit. Go to your room, young lady. LOL "Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CDRINF 1 #49 February 17, 2012 It's simple. You don't need to kick him out, but stop enabling this behavior. Quit writing the checks, ordering the books, registering for classes and doing everything for him! As long as you keep enabling his irresponsibility, he has no reason to change. CDR Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #50 February 17, 2012 Quote It's not just kids of today, remember Aristotle /Plato et al. were banging on about how kids (mis)behave - same old same old. Quote "I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint" (Hesiod, 8th century BC). See attached! Thanks for the quote. "Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
