obelixtim 100 #1 April 1, 2012 Get ready to fork out more for your jumps people, the Greenies are on to us!!!. Fart tax, whatever next???. A new tax is proposed on skydivers (and others) by environmentalists concerned about global warming and greenhouse gasses. Apparently the increase in numbers of people taking up skydiving has meant an increase in the amount of methane released into the atmosphere, A study by an environmental group, The Council for Research into Air Purity, has shown that aviation users, including all commercial and recreational aircraft users produce a significant amount of methane gas when they go up in aeroplanes. Field studies have shown, as humans are taken to altitude in aeroplanes, the decrease in atmospheric pressure results in the release of methane gas as people break wind. World wide, this produces a significant amount of gas as millions of people are transported on aeroplanes around the world each year, and that number is increasing. A spokesman for the group, Mr Paulo Foril, says that they will propose to the European Council, and the US government, as well as Governments around the world a new tax of $5.00 per person who travels on any aircraft, in an attempt to offset the greenhouse gases emitted, by new forest plantings. "We will propose that the tax collected will be bookmarked solely for the establishment of new forests, and not be diverted to general Government coffers", said Mr Foril. "Nature didn't design humans to go up in the air, and this phenomenen didn't exist a century ago. We need to do something about this now, and not wait till its too late". "The emission of bodily gases was brought to our attention by one of our members, who partook of a tandem skydive, and noticed a lot of people aboard the aircraft passing wind as the plane rose to altitude. We know bodily gases are mostly methane, a particularly odious greenhouse gas," he said. The EU in particular, is already hammering air travellers for carbon emissions with green taxes, looks like they are taking the piss here, big time. Best get onto your local politician before it happens people.....My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jakal1970 0 #2 April 1, 2012 APRIL FOOLS??? High Speed, Low Drag! Adrenaline Junkie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 38 #3 April 1, 2012 Well, this stinks! It's yet another unfair law passed by politicians who unfairly tax the crap out of us while exempting themselves. After all, we all know that the greatest volume of hot air comes from them. Happy April Fool's day! lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
J0nathan 0 #4 April 1, 2012 wow i though this was serious at first !!! i was like, shit its not april fools yet so this has to be serious. then i remembered that in usa its aprill fools already Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 100 #5 April 1, 2012 Quotethen i remembered that i live in europe and and that that law wouldnt have affected me anyways The European Union caters for Europe does it not?. The EU passes all sorts of ridiculous laws....My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #6 April 1, 2012 The Council for Research into Air Purity, Quote I use to work for C.R.A.P., it's a pain in the ass there and the benefits really stink. Who knows maybe with the increase in funding they can get their paperwork cleaned up. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites riddler 0 #7 April 1, 2012 I still work for crap, and right now it's a big mess. I've really been wanting to run, but I've had to suck it up the last few years. I've got a hot exit strategy; I'm taking my shit to Fun Air Research Technology. I've heard working there is a gas.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites firemedic 7 #8 April 1, 2012 "Brainstorm", Catalytic Converter for your Ass Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JohnRich 4 #9 April 1, 2012 This may be an April Fools hoax, but reality is that jump prices where I live just increased from $22 to $25 on April 1st, due to rising fuel prices. So it's April 1st, and we ARE paying more for jumps. No fooling... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkyChimp 0 #10 April 1, 2012 Hahaha!! You almost got me engaged into this thread. As soon as I saw "tax" and "global warming" I was about to say "this is going to get moved to the Speakers Corner" Does anyone else find it funny that we made a SPORT out of an EMERGENCY PROCEDURE?!?! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JohnMitchell 14 #11 April 1, 2012 Quote This may be an April Fools hoax, but reality is that jump prices where I live just increased from $22 to $25 on April 1st, due to rising fuel prices. So it's April 1st, and we ARE paying more for jumps. No fooling.. And if Obama gets the "user fees" in place that he wants to start charging, $100/flight of turbine aircraft that use ATC services, you can watch your jump tickets go up another $5. No, this is not an April Fools joke. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Driver1 0 #12 April 1, 2012 The answer is quite simple. See attachment! There will be no addressing the customers as "Bitches", "Morons" or "Retards"! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Zymurdoo 0 #13 April 1, 2012 Quote The answer is quite simple. See attachment! I suggest the upgraded model with vibrating user programable altitude warning system allowing the to select single, multiple and continuous alarm settings.Blue Skies, Soft Docks and Happy Landings! CWR #23 (It's called CRW, add an e if you like, but I ain't calling it CFS. FU FAI!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JohnMitchell 14 #14 April 1, 2012 Quote The answer is quite simple. See attachment! Aren't there a few jumpers that will have trouble getting that in next to their head? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites riddler 0 #15 April 1, 2012 Quote Aren't there a few jumpers that will have trouble getting that in next to their head? Some will Others are jump whores, and are used to getting a lot of shit crammed up there. I don't think I have room, though; that's where my best ideas come from!Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 35 #16 April 1, 2012 If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times; Quit posting SC subjects in Bonfire!You know what? Forget it. I'm tired of going over this with you. You have to follow the rules like everyone else. You think your shit doesn't stink? HA! Get over yourself, Buddy. You've just earned yourself a 6 month ban. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites obelixtim 100 #17 April 1, 2012 Sounds to me someone got suckered!!. And Billvon banned .me from SC, moons ago, so I had no choice!!. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. So there!!! My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 35 #18 April 1, 2012 Quote Sounds to me you got suckered!!. Not in the least, check out the winky and the angel face at the bottom of my post. SO, that means I suckered YOU! Yay! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites obelixtim 100 #19 April 1, 2012 QuoteNot in the least, check out the winky and the angel face at the bottom of my post. SO, that means I suckered YOU! Yay! Sly But but but...I'm blind, I can't see pictures, so I didn't see them....and Billvon did ban me!!. Taking advantage of a blind man...sheesh. I don't know how your conscience allows it. Shame on you...My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Jumpdude 0 #20 April 1, 2012 Quote Quote Sounds to me you got suckered!!. Not in the least, check out the winky and the angel face at the bottom of my post. SO, that means I suckered YOU! Yay! GO SKYMAMA!!!!! Hey, Can I be the president of your fan club? And Billy Vance be the Director of marketing??? LMAO!!!!!Refuse to Lose!!! Failure is NOT an option! 1800skyrideripoff.com Nashvilleskydiving.org Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites obelixtim 100 #21 April 1, 2012 Skymama threat was not credible, simply because a 6 month ban is beneath my dignity. I would only accept a ban if it was permanent, like the SC ban Billvon dished out... Hey, I got banned by Sangrio himself years ago.... Skymama is only a lightweight banner!!!. 6 months...pfffffttt!!!. I fart in her direction!!. But she needs all the fans she can get. You and Billy Vance can prolly fix her microwave or pick up her sparkles, and other house keeping stuff....My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 35 #22 April 1, 2012 Quote But but but...I'm blind, I can't see pictures, so I didn't see them Well, since you're disabled, I'm sure you want to be treated fairly and like everyone else. I'll sucker anyone who sets themself up for it! My conscience is clear. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymama 35 #23 April 1, 2012 Quote Skymama threat was not credible, simply because a 6 month ban is beneath my dignity. I would only accept a ban if it was permanent, like the SC ban Billvon dished out... I'm the "nice" one, I'm not like that Billvon! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wmw999 2,121 #24 April 1, 2012 QuoteI fart in her direction!!. ...But she needs all the fans she can getIf you fart in her direction she sure will. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites obelixtim 100 #25 April 2, 2012 QuoteIf you fart in her direction she sure will. Wendy P. Actually, Kevin Trusler was voted the worlds stinkiest skydiver, by the French team at the CRW world champs many years ago. Sharing the same plane on every round, his tactic was to stink so bad it would affect their jumps. And he ate all sorts of rotten shit to that end. And I'm not him. So Skymama is lucky....very lucky.My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
riddler 0 #7 April 1, 2012 I still work for crap, and right now it's a big mess. I've really been wanting to run, but I've had to suck it up the last few years. I've got a hot exit strategy; I'm taking my shit to Fun Air Research Technology. I've heard working there is a gas.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
firemedic 7 #8 April 1, 2012 "Brainstorm", Catalytic Converter for your Ass Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnRich 4 #9 April 1, 2012 This may be an April Fools hoax, but reality is that jump prices where I live just increased from $22 to $25 on April 1st, due to rising fuel prices. So it's April 1st, and we ARE paying more for jumps. No fooling... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyChimp 0 #10 April 1, 2012 Hahaha!! You almost got me engaged into this thread. As soon as I saw "tax" and "global warming" I was about to say "this is going to get moved to the Speakers Corner" Does anyone else find it funny that we made a SPORT out of an EMERGENCY PROCEDURE?!?! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #11 April 1, 2012 Quote This may be an April Fools hoax, but reality is that jump prices where I live just increased from $22 to $25 on April 1st, due to rising fuel prices. So it's April 1st, and we ARE paying more for jumps. No fooling.. And if Obama gets the "user fees" in place that he wants to start charging, $100/flight of turbine aircraft that use ATC services, you can watch your jump tickets go up another $5. No, this is not an April Fools joke. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Driver1 0 #12 April 1, 2012 The answer is quite simple. See attachment! There will be no addressing the customers as "Bitches", "Morons" or "Retards"! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zymurdoo 0 #13 April 1, 2012 Quote The answer is quite simple. See attachment! I suggest the upgraded model with vibrating user programable altitude warning system allowing the to select single, multiple and continuous alarm settings.Blue Skies, Soft Docks and Happy Landings! CWR #23 (It's called CRW, add an e if you like, but I ain't calling it CFS. FU FAI!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #14 April 1, 2012 Quote The answer is quite simple. See attachment! Aren't there a few jumpers that will have trouble getting that in next to their head? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #15 April 1, 2012 Quote Aren't there a few jumpers that will have trouble getting that in next to their head? Some will Others are jump whores, and are used to getting a lot of shit crammed up there. I don't think I have room, though; that's where my best ideas come from!Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #16 April 1, 2012 If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times; Quit posting SC subjects in Bonfire!You know what? Forget it. I'm tired of going over this with you. You have to follow the rules like everyone else. You think your shit doesn't stink? HA! Get over yourself, Buddy. You've just earned yourself a 6 month ban. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 100 #17 April 1, 2012 Sounds to me someone got suckered!!. And Billvon banned .me from SC, moons ago, so I had no choice!!. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. So there!!! My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #18 April 1, 2012 Quote Sounds to me you got suckered!!. Not in the least, check out the winky and the angel face at the bottom of my post. SO, that means I suckered YOU! Yay! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 100 #19 April 1, 2012 QuoteNot in the least, check out the winky and the angel face at the bottom of my post. SO, that means I suckered YOU! Yay! Sly But but but...I'm blind, I can't see pictures, so I didn't see them....and Billvon did ban me!!. Taking advantage of a blind man...sheesh. I don't know how your conscience allows it. Shame on you...My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jumpdude 0 #20 April 1, 2012 Quote Quote Sounds to me you got suckered!!. Not in the least, check out the winky and the angel face at the bottom of my post. SO, that means I suckered YOU! Yay! GO SKYMAMA!!!!! Hey, Can I be the president of your fan club? And Billy Vance be the Director of marketing??? LMAO!!!!!Refuse to Lose!!! Failure is NOT an option! 1800skyrideripoff.com Nashvilleskydiving.org Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 100 #21 April 1, 2012 Skymama threat was not credible, simply because a 6 month ban is beneath my dignity. I would only accept a ban if it was permanent, like the SC ban Billvon dished out... Hey, I got banned by Sangrio himself years ago.... Skymama is only a lightweight banner!!!. 6 months...pfffffttt!!!. I fart in her direction!!. But she needs all the fans she can get. You and Billy Vance can prolly fix her microwave or pick up her sparkles, and other house keeping stuff....My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #22 April 1, 2012 Quote But but but...I'm blind, I can't see pictures, so I didn't see them Well, since you're disabled, I'm sure you want to be treated fairly and like everyone else. I'll sucker anyone who sets themself up for it! My conscience is clear. She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #23 April 1, 2012 Quote Skymama threat was not credible, simply because a 6 month ban is beneath my dignity. I would only accept a ban if it was permanent, like the SC ban Billvon dished out... I'm the "nice" one, I'm not like that Billvon! She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,121 #24 April 1, 2012 QuoteI fart in her direction!!. ...But she needs all the fans she can getIf you fart in her direction she sure will. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
obelixtim 100 #25 April 2, 2012 QuoteIf you fart in her direction she sure will. Wendy P. Actually, Kevin Trusler was voted the worlds stinkiest skydiver, by the French team at the CRW world champs many years ago. Sharing the same plane on every round, his tactic was to stink so bad it would affect their jumps. And he ate all sorts of rotten shit to that end. And I'm not him. So Skymama is lucky....very lucky.My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
