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LuckyMcSwervy

The One That Got Away?

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Has anyone from your past ever come back into your life in one way or another and all of a sudden you're "the one that got away"? After not seeing one another for 24 years or so??



translation - "WOW, you look great after 24 years, and everybody else we used to know is fat and looks 15 years older"

short answer - you're an amazing catch, they already missed that opportunity, and you can do a lot better



This implies there was an opportunity to caught then... which IME isnt always the case, unless you are the kind of douchebag who forces himself into an already existing relationship in order to try create one for yourself
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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

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I am so floored/cautious/WTF.



Sounds like the right head space to be in.

If I were single when such a declaration came about, I'd approach this person as I would any other potential dating partner, and evaluate whether we fit together as the people we are now, not the people we were 24 years ago. And I'd try to make sure that the other person was doing the same, not idealizing some 24-years-ago version of me.

To me, someone who approaches a potential relationship with that "you're the one that got away" statement might even require a little more emotional caution than anyone else, if only because I want to make sure that he likes me, the me that I am today, not some version of me that he's created in his mind for some portion of the last 24 years.

I have a good friend who pulled that kind of thing a lot with his partners; he'd meet, "fall in love" almost immediately, with the "manic pixie dream girl" version of a woman (yeah, he's that guy). Given that he created that version of her in his mind incredibly quickly, no matter who she was, she wasn't going to live up to that image.

So just be careful that he's not doing something similar with you, because as you reveal your complete self (good and bad), chances are it won't match up to the you he has in his head. He may learn to truly appreciate the person you are, or he may just be incredibly disappointed that you're not the person he thinks he knows.
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

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I was that for someone. A couple of years later, I tried to break up and he ended up stalking me for at least a year after that. It was unpleasant.

If he was needy then, he's still needy.

Wendy P.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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If you didn't pursue this, would YOU ever think that he could be the "one" who got away this time?



This is why I think no amount of advice really matters in these instances....people tend to always follow their heart....and let's face it, good or bad, this stuff is just too exciting to pass up sometimes.

btw, I'm happy for you and Mark...good stuff.
Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are...

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When I first started college, I was intrigued by a girl I met briefly who came from my hometown, albeit different high school, at a college 1000 miles from home. She disappeared shortly after. I'd wondered what happened to her. So pretty.

7 years later at a Christmas party in our hometown, I bumped into her and somehow, remembered her name instantly, damned if I know how. We hit it off that night, just chatting for hours and hours. Eventually got engaged, but things fell apart not long after when I had to move for a job.
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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I've read everything everyone has been so kind to write. I'll reply later because I am so hung-the-fuck-over that I think I need to go back to bed or go down to the spa. It is a perfect day here in Atlantic City. I don't want to waste it with my head in the toilet.

Soooo.... we met up last night and had a blast. The conversation didn't get too deep (thank God but I wasn't going to let it anyway) and it was a nice, nice, niceeeeeee night out in AC and I came back to the hotel with my shoes, so I was happy about that.

Lots going on in my head this morning... lots to process but I don't think I have to obsess over it because I guess there's a history there so there's not too many blank spaces I need to fill in.

There's definitely still an attraction and still lots in common. He still smells the same. Still looks the same (fucker) but there's lotssssss of life lived in those 24 years. I think the bright side is I took a chance, got out of the house, had a very fun night on a beautiful AC beach night on this last weekend of summer. Who knows what will come next.

Yeah, spa time. ;)

Always be kinder than you feel.

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Has anyone from your past ever come back into your life in one way or another and all of a sudden you're "the one that got away"? After not seeing one another for 24 years or so??

There's a story behind this but I don't know whether to laugh or cry. [:/]

Just wondering if any of you have ever had to deal with something like this because I never have and I am so floored/cautious/WTF.

I need a vacation. :P



Yeah I had someone friend me on FB, and for the longest time, I couldn't place her name until I finally did and became "the one that got away."
You stop breathing for a few minutes and everyone jumps to conclusions.

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24 years?

Paroled huh? :ph34r:



Hi Mr T

Be Nice:)

Paroled or just a few divorces? I know one jumper that was married 3 times in less than 10 yr's.[:/]

I had one that got away:( but the next one was so much better 40 yr's later we still in love.B| The one that got away:S no way would we have lasted this long. Lucked out

Something is wrong when a single female jumper can't find a winner on a DZ. Even without being a bicycle.:S

R.

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This is a toughy... I am a firm believer that if something didn't work out the first time, it won't work the second time, UNLESS SOMETHING HAS CHANGED. And I also firmly believe that things (and people) RARELY change...

There are certainly exceptions... But they are... Well... Exceptionnal!!

I still consider my ex to be "The One" (that I drove away)... But I have never gone back to tell him this because I know even if he *did* take me back nothing has changed. I'm still me and he's still him; I would still make him miserable, and no amount of love would fix that.
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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It was ME back then. I was too young 19/20, he was 25/26. I needed to sow my wild oats and go out with my girlfriends and grow up a lot. He was building his first home and wanting to settle down, cook dinner at home, etc.

Last night we went to dinner at this amazing little romantic Italian restaurant in Atlantic City. Another really nice night, no alcohol for me last night. Smart move. :P

I don't know. He is a sweetie. No true "red flags" at this early point, but my eyes are always open and I read into everything and my gut is usually right. He thinks I'm "crazy" because I loved skydiving and I love to scuba dive and hope to have shark encounters. He's self-admittedly "boring" that way. Hmmm....

There's still so much to talk about and find out about what each other's been through over the years.

I think the most important thing is I finally realized my heart still works because after my last relationship ended I honestly thought it didn't and wouldn't again. THAT scared me. Baby steps...

It's kinda funny because his xWife just bought a house 5 doors down my from xHusband, where I lived when I was married. We think they should get together. :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:

Always be kinder than you feel.

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. Even without being a bicycle.:S

R.



Well, that's a sexist comment, if I ever heard one.

What if she likes it on top? :P:D:D Who's the bicycle, now? :S

Hello Nice lady

Sexist comment?[:/]

I overheard the bicyle comment at a DZ, it was a conversation between two women jumpers talking about a third women jumper that ws very populer.

Most dudes don't care who's on top or bottom as long as they get some. Some of these dudes still get exited seeing boobies.

R.

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It was ME back then. I was too young 19/20, he was 25/26. I needed to sow my wild oats and go out with my girlfriends and grow up a lot. He was building his first home and wanting to settle down, cook dinner at home, etc.

Last night we went to dinner at this amazing little romantic Italian restaurant in Atlantic City. Another really nice night, no alcohol for me last night. Smart move. :P

I don't know. He is a sweetie. No true "red flags" at this early point, but my eyes are always open and I read into everything and my gut is usually right. He thinks I'm "crazy" because I loved skydiving and I love to scuba dive and hope to have shark encounters. He's self-admittedly "boring" that way. Hmmm....

There's still so much to talk about and find out about what each other's been through over the years.

I think the most important thing is I finally realized my heart still works because after my last relationship ended I honestly thought it didn't and wouldn't again. THAT scared me. Baby steps...

It's kinda funny because his xWife just bought a house 5 doors down my from xHusband, where I lived when I was married. We think they should get together. :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:





B|B|

If nothing else it sounds like an interesting page to an unfinished chapter...good luck!










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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... UNLESS SOMETHING HAS CHANGED. And I also firmly believe that things (and people) RARELY change....



Everything changes, always.

"You can never step in the same river twice."

Its not the same river it was and you aren't the same person.
____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

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What's wrong with simply taking a compliment graciously?

If it turns into a stalker situation, then POW! right in the kisser.
:D:D

I had a situation where I was the bozo and she was the one that got away. When we met up 30 years later, it took me just a very short while to find out that I was wrong...I wasn't the bozo....I was glad to have escaped when I did!
:D:D

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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Life is like a pachinko game. You bounce off the pegs at random and sometimes end up places you would have never guessed. Enjoy where you are and whom you're with. :)



By! Ain't THAT the truth.
I never would have guessed that I would have turned out to be a dirty, smelly old skydiver.
:D:D
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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What if she likes it on top? :P:D:D Who's the bicycle, now? :S



I like your way of thinking!
At my age and health, my only option is to be the bike.
:D:D:D

RIDE ME LIKE YOU STOLE ME!
:D:D
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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