Wife doesn't want me to make 1st jump

[Coreece 190]

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Certainly someone has had a similar experience, any advice?

Ya...I'd love to help ya, but I don't know ya...I tend to do things a little bit unorthodox, and I'd never wanna lead people down this glorious way of life...you could die!

Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are...

[Nataly 38]

I keep coming back to this thread because something about it bothers me...

I don't think this is really about whether or not it's safe to skydive... The real issus is that you and your wife disagree about something... You already came up with a bunch of (pretty lame) excuses that she is not buying, and now you're coming here, hoping people will side with you and tell you she is being unreasonable.

This is not a healthy approach to your relationship. I'm not saying you should just do as she says, but if you are prepared to say whatever it takes to "win the argument", it discredits you totally. If it's something you want to do, fine... But don't bring stupid arguments into it like this being a life-lesson for your kids about being brave, facing your fears, et cetera. Jumping out of a plane is a totally useless and avoidable activity - it's just fun. And you want to experience this fun despite it being scary. Fine. There is nothing wrong with that. Just don't try to turn it into something that it's not. Have a little respect for your wife's intelligence and be honest about your motivations for wanting to jump.

In any case, it seems the timing is not great... So maybe the best approach is to tell her you see her point and are dropping it for now, on the understanding that this is something you really want and will bring up again at some point in the future. Then drop it. When you bring it up again, she may well understand this is not a passing urge and may be more open to seeing your point of view.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[david3 0]

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Good ideas from others, about tunnel time. then the Kids.. especially if they are young.. can be RIGHT there watching , as the smile on your face Grows!!!!

good Luck
jmy
a 3914
d 12122

The kids can try the tunnel too. How cool a dad would you be then?

[dthames 0]

While I don’t have thousands of jumps I have been married to the same woman for more than 35 years. I feel the primary thing destroying marriages and families today is selfishness. Is wanting to have fun selfish? Not specifically.

The real glue in a marriage (my opinion) is selflessness…..giving up what you desire for the greater good. Had I tried to pursue jumping when our kids were little, I am sure my wife would have objected. Now, she understands there are risks but understands there are risks everywhere.

Give your wife some time and maybe her outlook will change. Education about the sport might help her. Maybe some compromise of holding off for a while and during the mean time she can learn about the sport along the way.

The selfless thing goes both ways. At some point she might decide you pursuing a dream is better for the greater good. I would not suggest trying to guilt her. I am talking about a love thing, on both sides, from both parties.

Instructor quote, “What's weird is that you're older than my dad!”

[Squeak 17]

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I keep coming back to this thread because something about it bothers me...

Me too but for a different reason, I keep coming back in disbelief that a "growed arse man" come onto a forum to tell people his wife wont let him do something

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[cocheese 0]

I'm in disbelief that jumpers are telling him not to jump until the kids are grown. If he didn't have kids, they would be telling him it's safer than a drive to the dz. Yea do it etc.

How many skydivers do you know that have kids are some of the most dangerous ones on the dz? Do they tell them to quit jumping?

[FlyingRhenquest 1]

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Get a divorce.

I doubt he'd be in any financial shape to do skydiving with 18 years of child support and alimony payments ahead.

This is an issue of responsibility. When you get married and bring new life into the world, it's about more than just you at that point. Deprived of his income, his wife and children would face a lot of hardship. Risking that unnecessarily would be selfish and irresponsible.

I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here?

[CarpeDiem3 0]

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This is an issue of responsibility. When you get married and bring new life into the world, it's about more than just you at that point. Deprived of his income, his wife and children would face a lot of hardship. Risking that unnecessarily would be selfish and irresponsible.

So all skydivers with children should cease jumping immediately?

[airtwardo 6]

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This is an issue of responsibility. When you get married and bring new life into the world, it's about more than just you at that point. Deprived of his income, his wife and children would face a lot of hardship. Risking that unnecessarily would be selfish and irresponsible.

So all skydivers with children should cease jumping immediately?

YES!

With


Filling in your profile accuractly would be a +!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[DrewEckhardt 0]

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I'm in disbelief that jumpers are telling him not to jump until the kids are grown. If he didn't have kids, they would be telling him it's safer than a drive to the dz. Yea do it etc.

Nope.

I'd tell him that it's not safe. I know/knew a lot of dead skydivers and more that would probably be dead except for a learning experience involving orthopedic surgery (I don't know anyone who died after that and only one guy who needed a return visit because the first lesson didn't stick).

If driving was as dangerous as skydiving 1 in 50 drivers would be dead after their first 20 years behind the wheel and that's not the case (for a long time there were about 30,000 active skydivers in the US and we were averaging about 30 fatalities a year or 1 in 1000. With small percentages simple multiplication produces a close enough approximation).

I don't encourage people to skydive or BASE jump. If those sports are for you they'll find you. If not the lack of encouragement can't get you in there for the wrong reasons.

[Skyrad 0]

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Aside from having to get over my own fears my wife doesn't want me to jump. Won't even go to the DZ, has no desire to see the damage she says.

We're happily married with 2 kids + 1 on the way and I understand her concerns about becoming a widow - that kind of talk is not helping me get over my own fears. I don't want to do it behind her back but am at that point. Better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission?

Certainly someone has had a similar experience, any advice?

Get a convertible sports car instead, you won't believe me now but it will be a way cheaper midlife crisis and you'll keep your marriage.

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

[FlyingRhenquest 1]

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This is an issue of responsibility. When you get married and bring new life into the world, it's about more than just you at that point. Deprived of his income, his wife and children would face a lot of hardship. Risking that unnecessarily would be selfish and irresponsible.

So all skydivers with children should cease jumping immediately?

Depends entirely on your circumstances. If your wife's OK with it, your family has the means to get by without you, your family has the means to pay for skydiving and those inevitable ER visits when one of the kids has an ear infection or your life insurance will pay out in the event you die in a skydiving accident, then by all means go ahead.

In the case of the original poster, his wife's not OK with it and he mentioned later that money was pretty tight. With one kid still on the way, those really aren't ideal circumstances to take up an expensive hobby, even if you completely discount the risk.

Personally I don't think I know any skydivers who have children. I know a couple of people with children who say they'd be interested in doing it once their kids are older. One friend with one on the way is currently so worried about the financial impact, he doesn't even want to do a couple of minutes in the wind tunnel. Though he might in a year or so, once things settle down a bit.

That's just how things go. Sometimes it's just not the right time. Trying again at a different time is always an option.

I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here?

[tbrown 26]

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My advice is that you shouldn't do things behind your wife's back when she is strongly opposed to it. Respect her opinion if you want to remain a happily married guy and talk about a compromise (maybe when the kids are older?).

I concur. Also, as reasonably safe as skydiving is, I have known two VERY experienced Instructors, one with 4000 jumps and one with 17,000 jumps, who left their families fatherless. You only have to screw up once to die and then it's over.

Not at all likely to happen, true enough. But it does happen. Big part of why I took a 22 year break from the sport. Any one of us could be killed on the freeway driving to work any morning - but we have to go to work. We DON'T have to skydive, not when our kids are so young. For the kids' sake, if not your wife's (she counts too) - don't do it.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[gregpso 1]

Difficult question. I am married to a whuffo wife. I waited until the kids got to 17 to jump again. Wife lived with the decision and came to the DZ a few times. Other factors intervened so now retired.

Do not die wondering . (my brief jump carear was the best of times)

Just wait awhile The DZs will be there when your relationship can stand it.

I tend to be a bit different. enjoyed my time in the sport or is it an industry these days ??

[CarpeDiem3 0]

Subscribe to "Parachutist" magazine. When it arrives in your mailbox each month, read it with glee. Your wife will realize that you still want to do this, and are still serious about it. After constant monthly reminders, maybe she'll soften her stance.

[Nataly 38]

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Subscribe to "Parachutist" magazine. When it arrives in your mailbox each month, read it with glee. Your wife will realize that you still want to do this, and are still serious about it. After constant monthly reminders, maybe she'll soften her stance.

Depends on the person... Some people react better if you let things cool down and bring it up later; some people slowly get used to an idea... Some people never change their mind...

If the OP pushes her too much to change her mind, chances are it will cause friction in the relationship even if she does "let him" jump.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[JohnMitchell 14]

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Subscribe to "Parachutist" magazine. When it arrives in your mailbox each month, read it with glee. Your wife will realize that you still want to do this, and are still serious about it. After constant monthly reminders, maybe she'll soften her stance.

Just don't let her read the incidents reports.