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Nataly

Rudeness and culture...

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When I first moved to France, I'd go up to the sales person in a shop/bakery/store and just ask politely for what I wanted... At least I *thought* I was being polite... I usually said something like:

"May I please have a [insert item here] ?" (And usually "thank you" as well.)

Instead of giving me the item or answering me, they cut me short and said sharply: "HELLO" (indicating to me that I had been rude by not starting with "hello" before my request). To me, the *way* they answered was WAAAYYYY more rude, because making someone feel like an ass is not an appropriate way to "correct" someone's faux-pas... But ask anyone around here, and this sharp reaction/"correction" is normal and deserved (because not greeting someone first is so "obviously" rude)! Funny how we each think we are being polite but are each perceived by the other as rude!!

Anyone else come across similar situations where their behaviour got "lost in translation?"
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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When I first moved to France, I'd go up to the sales person in a shop/bakery/store and just ask politely for what I wanted... At least I *thought* I was being polite... I usually said something like:

"May I please have a [insert item here] ?" (And usually "thank you" as well.)

Instead of giving me the item or answering me, they cut me short and said sharply: "HELLO" (indicating to me that I had been rude by not starting with "hello" before my request). To me, the *way* they answered was WAAAYYYY more rude, because making someone feel like an ass is not an appropriate way to "correct" someone's faux-pas... But ask anyone around here, and this sharp reaction/"correction" is normal and deserved (because not greeting someone first is so "obviously" rude)! Funny how we each think we are being polite but are each perceived by the other as rude!!

Anyone else come across similar situations where their behaviour got "lost in translation?"



Fuck you...who cares? :P










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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Anyone else come across similar situations where their behaviour got "lost in translation?"



Happens to me every time I enter SC :P

But, in France?? Never ever, there must have been some misunderstanding ....

I've been living there for years! In shops (and communications in general), they do not start with a "Hello", or a "Hi" ....

:|

dudeist skydiver # 3105

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It's just a little culture shock. That happened to my ex-wife when we moved to Germany. You don't speak native french, and they dont speak native english... so dont fall for the trap of misinterpreting tone or sentence structure. Just do your best to communicate. If they ARE being intentionally rude, remember that nice is the new nasty.

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When we first moved to Ireland my Wife would be in a shop at the check out and the person at the counter would say 'Howaya?' (How are you?)
They would always looked stunned or amused when my Wife would answer 'I'm fine thank you, how are you?':D:D:D

In Ireland it used as a greeting and is a rhetorical question no-one expects and answer!

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

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Many years ago when I moved to South Africa I was at a friends house and was in the shower, she asked 'Hey I'm going into town do you want to come?' I replied y'es, when are you going?' to which she replied 'Just now'. I quickly rushed to get the shampoo out of my hair, jumped out of the shower very quick rub down and franticly dressed and came out of the bathroom only to find her wandering around in her dressing gown! I said I thought we were going into town, she said yes, I asked again.. 'When are we leaving?' 'Just now' she said, so I went and grabbed my wallet and put on a jacket quickly returning to find her eating a bowl of cereal! I was pretty surprised an it took a few days to realise that in South Afric when someone says 'Just now' it can mean any time in the next few hours! (In England it means right this minute) :D

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

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Anyone else come across similar situations where their behaviour got "lost in translation?"



Happens to me every time I enter SC :P

But, in France?? Never ever, there must have been some misunderstanding ....

I've been living there for years! In shops (and communications in general), they do not start with a "Hello", or a "Hi" ....

:|



Nope. It was not a misunderstanding - it happened a couple of times. Maybe it's a regional thing (south of France), but my friends assure me it's quite normal to start with "hello" and not go straight to "please may I have a croissant." And they also assure me the "rudeness" in being "corrected" is in keeping with the "rudeness" of me not starting with a greeting.

BigMikeH77: I *am* a native French speaker :P
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Hi Skyrad,

When I first got to England in 1961 I quickly learned that 'Knock me up in the morning' means to wake me up.

Sure means something else here in the old US of A.

:P

JerryBaumchen

PS) Plus I learned the hard way to never, ever tell a joke that you bring from home to the country that you are visiting. You just get very strange looks when you finish the punchline. [:/]

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When we first moved to Ireland my Wife would be in a shop at the check out and the person at the counter would say 'Howaya?' (How are you?)
They would always looked stunned or amused when my Wife would answer 'I'm fine thank you, how are you?':D:D:D

In Ireland it used as a greeting and is a rhetorical question no-one expects and answer!




:D:D:D

This just reminded me of when I was in the UK and people kept asking me "you aright?" and me being surprised... "I'm fine - why, do I look sick??"

In North America it has a much more literal meaning... As in when someone has just fallen you would ask (out of concern) "are you alright?" In the UK, it's more like "hey / hello / how are you." :D
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Hi Skyrad,

When I first got to England in 1961 I quickly learned that 'Knock me up in the morning' means to wake me up.

Sure means something else here in the old US of A.

:P

JerryBaumchen

PS) Plus I learned the hard way to never, ever tell a joke that you bring from home to the country that you are visiting. You just get very strange looks when you finish the punchline. [:/]



:D:D:D That reminds me of the first time I was in Sebastian in FL and I said 'I'm going outside to smoke a fag' funny no one wanted to come with! :D
When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

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Hi Skyrad,

When I first got to England in 1961 I quickly learned that 'Knock me up in the morning' means to wake me up.

Sure means something else here in the old US of A.

:P

JerryBaumchen

PS) Plus I learned the hard way to never, ever tell a joke that you bring from home to the country that you are visiting. You just get very strange looks when you finish the punchline. [:/]



The same is true when it comes to sign language and hand gestures. Don't give an Italian the "thumbs up" hand signal even if you meant "cool". They see you telling them "fuck you".

I've got a shitload more ways to tell someone "fuck you" in their own countries. :)
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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This one was in England, when I was about 13 we had some Canadian exchange students over, my sister was about 9 years old at the time. Chris one of the Canadians asked what hobbies we have I went through a few and then said 'Oh and my Sister collects rubbers'. I swear you could have heard a pin drop, after a pause Chris asked, 'Your little sister collects rubbers?!'
'Yea she has different coloured ones, different scented ones, funny shaped ones the works'. I answered.
Chris and Dan looked pale and shocked 'Does your Mom know?' Dan asked.
'Yea of course, she buys her rubber when she goes to different places for her collection'
'REALLY!!!' (In unison)
'Yea, she loves them, she always puts them on the ends of her pencils and takes them to school'. Well this misunderstanding went on for about ten minutes before we realised that on the other side of the Atlantic what my sister collected were called erasers and my Mum sure as her wouldn't have been purchasing 'rubbers' for my sister! :D

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

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Oh dear... I remember when I was back-packing across Europe... I met a couple of Brits who were impressed at how light I was travelling... Indeed, I announced proudly that I only had 3 t-shirts, 1 pair of shorts, 1 pair of pants, et cetera... They looked *quite* disgusted... It wasn't until years later when I moved to the UK that I realised we have a different definition of "pants"...

North American pants = "jeans"
UK pants = "underwear / panties"

:o:D:D:|

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Also I've noticed different cultures seem to have different boundaries as to how friendly and formal you're expected to be with others: eye contact, personal space, how direct (or indirect) you're expected to be, etc.. Thus people from some cultures seem aloof, while others seem "in your face."
My blog with the skydiving duck cartoons.

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Also I've noticed different cultures seem to have different boundaries as to how friendly and formal you're expected to be with others: eye contact, personal space, how direct (or indirect) you're expected to be, etc.. Thus people from some cultures seem aloof, while others seem "in your face."




Yep. French-Canadians are WAY less formal than the French and I do have the occasional slip-up where I default to "tu" (informal) to say "you" and it irks (or even offends) the other person because I'm "clearly" not on their level and/or I don't know them well enough... Either way, I should have used the more formal "vous." Hmmm... :|
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Come on Nat! You should have known that about France!

Going to a shop is like going to someone's home there. You start by saying bonjour and pleasantries :)



That's 'cause they are all so small and privately-owned that it probably *is* their home!! :P

But no, I didn't know about the chit-chat... I always just thought the French were snobby, abrupt and rude!! (To be honest, I still think that to an extent :ph34r:)
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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When I first moved to France, I'd go up to the sales person in a shop/bakery/store and just ask politely for what I wanted... At least I *thought* I was being polite... I usually said something like:

"May I please have a [insert item here] ?" (And usually "thank you" as well.)

Instead of giving me the item or answering me, they cut me short and said sharply: "HELLO" (indicating to me that I had been rude by not starting with "hello" before my request). To me, the *way* they answered was WAAAYYYY more rude, because making someone feel like an ass is not an appropriate way to "correct" someone's faux-pas... But ask anyone around here, and this sharp reaction/"correction" is normal and deserved (because not greeting someone first is so "obviously" rude)! Funny how we each think we are being polite but are each perceived by the other as rude!!

Anyone else come across similar situations where their behaviour got "lost in translation?"



That's exactly what I do to my students when they walk into a room and start yammering.
Kid:...Sir..blah blah blah blah.
Me: Good morning (or afternoon), how are you today Johnny
Kid: Oh sorry (smile) good morning sir, blah blah blah :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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Oh dear... I remember when I was back-packing across Europe... I met a couple of Brits who were impressed at how light I was travelling... Indeed, I announced proudly that I only had 3 t-shirts, 1 pair of shorts, 1 pair of pants, et cetera... They looked *quite* disgusted... It wasn't until years later when I moved to the UK that I realised we have a different definition of "pants"...

North American pants = "jeans"
UK pants = "underwear / panties"

:o:D:D:|



:D:D:D:D
When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

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This one was in England, when I was about 13 we had some Canadian exchange students over, my sister was about 9 years old at the time. Chris one of the Canadians asked what hobbies we have I went through a few and then said 'Oh and my Sister collects rubbers'. I swear you could have heard a pin drop, after a pause Chris asked, 'Your little sister collects rubbers?!'
'Yea she has different coloured ones, different scented ones, funny shaped ones the works'. I answered.
Chris and Dan looked pale and shocked 'Does your Mom know?' Dan asked.
'Yea of course, she buys her rubber when she goes to different places for her collection'
'REALLY!!!' (In unison)
'Yea, she loves them, she always puts them on the ends of her pencils and takes them to school'. Well this misunderstanding went on for about ten minutes before we realised that on the other side of the Atlantic what my sister collected were called erasers and my Mum sure as her wouldn't have been purchasing 'rubbers' for my sister! :D



Similar story from high school (though not nearly as humorous as yours!). VERY shy girl, exchange student from Hong Kong. Always sat in the back of the room due to her shyness. Of course, we know what other type of student sits in the back rows. During an in-class assignment, she turned to the slacker next to her, asking, "excuse please, you have rubber?" He was a little taken aback and asked her to repeat herself, which she did. Once he was certain of her request, he took out his wallet and presented what she asked for. Well, the American version, anyway!

Turning five shades of red, the exchange student frantically exclaimed, "no! no! for mistake! for MISTAKE!!" Subject slacker was kind enough to slowly explain that in America that's called an eraser. I don't believe the poor girl tried speaking to another student again the rest of the semester!
See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus

Shut Up & Jump!

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This just reminded me of when I was in the UK and people kept asking me "you aright?" and me being surprised... "I'm fine - why, do I look sick??"

In North America it has a much more literal meaning... As in when someone has just fallen you would ask (out of concern) "are you alright?" In the UK, it's more like "hey / hello / how are you." :D



And in Germany small talk is considered insincere (which it is in a sense).

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This just reminded me of when I was in the UK and people kept asking me "you aright?" and me being surprised... "I'm fine - why, do I look sick??"

In North America it has a much more literal meaning... As in when someone has just fallen you would ask (out of concern) "are you alright?" In the UK, it's more like "hey / hello / how are you." :D



And in Germany small talk is considered insincere (which it is in a sense).


And don't mention the war.
Remster

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