grue 1 #1 August 10, 2013 I really don't get it. My girlfriend and I constantly have people saying "When you get married and have kids..." as if it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us care about marriage, neither of us want kids, and I frankly don't like children in general. That said, I can deal with occasionally seeing those that have been made by family members. Worse yet, some people actually look down on the decision not to have them, and act like we need to justify the decision. WTF?cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #2 August 10, 2013 They've suffered and want you to suffer, too? My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #3 August 10, 2013 popsjumper They've suffered and want you to suffer, too? Sounds about right cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #4 August 10, 2013 "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #5 August 10, 2013 ryoder Oh that's just fantastic.cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #6 August 10, 2013 grue I really don't get it. My girlfriend and I constantly have people saying "When you get married and have kids..." as if it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us care about marriage, neither of us want kids, and I frankly don't like children in general. That said, I can deal with occasionally seeing those that have been made by family members. Worse yet, some people actually look down on the decision not to have them, and act like we need to justify the decision. WTF? Hi Based on 40yrs of marriage and no children, this my opinion. Some people that committed themselves to the kidee trap regret their decision, their looking down at their own decision , their looking up at your decision.There are plenty of ways to handle people that ask insentive questions I've come up with a few. Make up your own it's very easy to shut them down. Quote Why Are we playing 20 stupid questions? My turnDo you still bite your toenails?One Jump Wonder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #7 August 10, 2013 grue I really don't get it. My girlfriend and I constantly have people saying "When you get married and have kids..." as if it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us care about marriage, neither of us want kids, and I frankly don't like children in general. That said, I can deal with occasionally seeing those that have been made by family members. Worse yet, some people actually look down on the decision not to have them, and act like we need to justify the decision. WTF? That's not True dude. Jen cares about marriage, just NOT to you You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #8 August 10, 2013 ...Because social change comes slooowwwllllyyyy and while marriage and kids have been "the standard course" for most,,, things ARe starting to change... it always takes decades for certain common sense behaviors to take hold... and so people can easily still be "behind the curve".....in their thoughts... and THAT is why they ask.....Kind of, " from old habit " Do NOT take it personally... especially if the question(s) come from old timers.... However,,, IF you are not A PARENT....please be careful NOT to bad mouth That choice.... when it is made by Others.... in the past, kids were the foregone conclusion for most couples....but That was BEFORE tougher economic times, different carreer opportunities,,, the "shrinking of the world" in terms of travel and technology and a generation of kids, ( now adults) who were raised with Tooo much emphasis on "self" and whose parents may have gone overboard on building SO much "self esteem " for the Y generation, that Now, they are TOO concentrated on themselves....to even find ANY room for kids......meh..... to each his own...though as a Parent, I CAN testify to the wonder, the energy, the love that kids can provide.... and whether You want them or not.... fact is,,, you'd miss out on A lot...... You can also spare yourself the other end of the spectrum, which IS pain, heartache, and expense (emotionally & financially ) and truly..... the choice is for EACH of Us... Best to shrug off such comments from others...as simply "making conversation" and take a humorous approach rather than to be irritated or upset by them...Marriage is a WHOLE other subject......as as for KIDs..... Don't knock it,,,,, if you HAVEN'T tried it....Like everything it takes WORK and dedication and patience and yes even some LUCK.....and there are MANY who maybe should never have Been parents..... best to figure that out Beforehand, as many have done... things ARE changing.... Good Luck and much happiness to you and your GF...Preserve your position on t he matter but do NOt be surprised, if as time goes by,,, your feelings and/or the feelings of your GF may change... Never say Never...jmy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #9 August 10, 2013 You know, after trading my super-loaded Velocity for a minivan I think I made a great choice. When I traded girlfriends and hookups for my wife, I know I made a great choice. However happy it all makes me, the same decisions won't make everyone happy. I'm 2-kids in and we're probably going to have more. This journey has spurred new and interesting side hobbies in my life like photography (as some of you "might" have noticed on Facebook). Don't sweat the haters, just be you. --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FB1609 0 #10 August 10, 2013 I read recently that there is a direct link to intelligence and the wish to have children, especially with women. Seems lower intelligence leads to having more children, the highest leads to having none. Doesn't make too much sense as a continuing the species point of view, but I have to agree, so...TS is smart. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #11 August 10, 2013 You're not the first person to call me stupid, but maybe you could wait until we actually meet to make that determination. --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dukemehnard 0 #12 August 10, 2013 FB1609I read recently that there is a direct link to intelligence and the wish to have children, especially with women. Seems lower intelligence leads to having more children, the highest leads to having none. Doesn't make too much sense as a continuing the species point of view, but I have to agree, so...TS is smart. Mainly because intelligent children happen to be the same ones who want things like private schools and half a million dollars in university education while the less intelligent ones don't. Intelligence here correlates mainly with upper-class. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob.dino 1 #13 August 10, 2013 At the risk of moving this to SC, please define intelligence. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #14 August 10, 2013 grueI really don't get it. My girlfriend and I constantly have people saying "When you get married and have kids..." as if it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us care about marriage, neither of us want kids, and I frankly don't like children in general. That said, I can deal with occasionally seeing those that have been made by family members. Worse yet, some people actually look down on the decision not to have them, and act like we need to justify the decision. WTF? Watch this. I believe it explains everything with the exception of modern day relationships such as yours. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJO35zU5bXg That's pretty much it. Has worked for thousands and thousands of years too. Some people are now a bit more advanced, but the world changes slowly.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #15 August 10, 2013 FB1609I read recently that there is a direct link to intelligence and the wish to have children, especially with women. Seems lower intelligence leads to having more children, the highest leads to having none. Doesn't make too much sense as a continuing the species point of view, but I have to agree, so...TS is smart. That was from the work of Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, from the London School of Economics and Political Science: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2384787/Too-clever-mother-The-maternal-urge-decreases-QUARTER-15-extra-IQ-points.html Interestingly, he also has research indicating that men who cheat are more likely to have lower IQ's: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254420/Men-cheat-wives-intelligent-faithful-husbands.html"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #16 August 10, 2013 grue I really don't get it. My girlfriend and I constantly have people saying "When you get married and have kids..." as if it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us care about marriage, neither of us want kids, and I frankly don't like children in general. That said, I can deal with occasionally seeing those that have been made by family members. Worse yet, some people actually look down on the decision not to have them, and act like we need to justify the decision. WTF? Opt for spaying and neutering.. problem with unwanted offspring solved. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #17 August 10, 2013 Amazon ***I really don't get it. My girlfriend and I constantly have people saying "When you get married and have kids..." as if it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us care about marriage, neither of us want kids, and I frankly don't like children in general. That said, I can deal with occasionally seeing those that have been made by family members. Worse yet, some people actually look down on the decision not to have them, and act like we need to justify the decision. WTF? Opt for spaying and neutering.. problem with unwanted offspring solved.Only a vas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #18 August 10, 2013 grueI really don't get it. My girlfriend and I constantly have people saying "When you get married and have kids..." as if it's a foregone conclusion. Neither of us care about marriage, neither of us want kids, and I frankly don't like children in general. That said, I can deal with occasionally seeing those that have been made by family members. Worse yet, some people actually look down on the decision not to have them, and act like we need to justify the decision. WTF? I agree...I don't wanna have kids either..they are loud, cry all day, obnoxious, and suck away all my free time to do all the fun stuff i want to do. Fuck what others say, you forge you own life with your girl. Others are just jealous they can't skydive cuz they have kids to watch over. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peregrinerose 0 #19 August 11, 2013 "Don't knock it til you tried it" sounds like crazy advice regarding having a kid. Popping out a life form, just in case my mindset changes from 'I don't want to reproduce' to 'I love kids' does not make a hell of a lot of sense. That's one really big experiment at the expense of another human being that completely depends on me, and one I'm not willing to engage in. I never wanted biological kids, there are entirely too many people on the planet, there is nothing special about my genes, and there are over 100,000 kids in foster care that are waiting for homes. Most will never get adopted. We adopted one of them, and at some point may do it again. One of my patients, an 80 year old guy, asked me when I was going to have kids. I told him that was not going to happen. He thought about it for a minute and then informed me that he knew exactly why my husband and I were not going to have kids. "Your husband just wants to keep it nice and tight." Not the reason I was expecting It does not remotely surprise me that the women with higher IQs have the least likelihood of bearing young. I work in a low socioeconomic area, and it's amazing how many women have 4-6 kids with different dads, all in the efforts to 'keep' a man in a relationship, or to get more welfare money, or because they are desperately trying to find love, so they get it the only way they think they can, by creating a human to love them. It's sad. Most women with higher IQs aren't going to bear young for those kinds of reasons. Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #20 August 11, 2013 Amazon Opt for spaying and neutering.. problem with unwanted offspring solved. Worked for meYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 40 #21 August 11, 2013 Hey, if you don't want to have kids. Cool. Don't let anyone tell you you're wrong.lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TriGirl 300 #22 August 11, 2013 Squeak *** Opt for spaying and neutering.. problem with unwanted offspring solved. Worked for me+1! See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus Shut Up & Jump! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #23 August 11, 2013 Genetic imperative. Most people can't get past that and acknowledge their interests this century differ from what nature decided was right millions of years ago. Some people are naively optimistic. Some choose ignorance to live in more pleasant dream worlds. Some are too stupid to see the progressing collision between first and developing worlds, technology advancing past the point where not everyone has abilities which produce more value than it costs to employ them, and governments acting on behalf of corporatist interests to reduce how far the resulting pay or unemployment gets people. Some are just incredibly selfish and cruel choosing to bring new people into that world. Quote Neither of us care about marriage, Marriage has legal implications you may wish to avail yourself of. As a professional who gets health insurance you might want to take advantage of spousal benefits with a subsidy from an employer and ability to pay your share with pre-tax dollars that may go twice as far compared to when the governments grab slices first. As some one who saves for retirement you care that your assets pass to your partner tax free - after 40 years of 3% inflation the savings you'll accumulate to replace the median household income for college graduates will be $5.5M which will likely qualify you as "rich" and incur the death tax. As some who do does not you'll want survivors benefits only available to married people. As a sleaze or person worried about wrongful prosecution you might like that spouses can't be compelled to testify against each other. Etc. With the right person marriage is great. Quote neither of us want kids, I decided against spawning. It's better that way. Two came with my wife and while I love them seeing the situation they're facing in their odyssey years confirms the wisdom of that choice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #24 August 11, 2013 It's funny... Many people think it's perfectly acceptable to criticise my life choices (and some even feel the need to openly do so), but imagine if I criticised them for getting married and having children??? BOY would that be offensive... I've heard a lot of things over the years... Oh, you just haven't met the right man. Oh, you're just selfish. Oh, you think that now, but wait until you're older. Oh, it's different when it's your own kids (assuming I hate kids - I don't). I'm not that fussed about marriage. I personally don't see the point, but I'm not so much against it that for practical reasons or if it meant a great deal to my partner I wouldn't do it. That's not to say I would do it lightly, however, because there are serious implications when things go pear-shaped... As for kids, people generally want me to come up with a good reason not to have them, when the simple truth is just that I don't want them. Would I feel different if I suddenly realised I was pregnant?? Who knows. I might want it, I might not - hard to speculate. All I can say is that not wanting kids does not mean I hate kids, I had a bad childhood or some kind of trauma in my life, or that I'm selfish, or that I haven't met Mr. Right. People who wanted kids didn't one day decide to want them - they just wanted them. I didn't decide one day I didn't want them, I just don't. And BOY could I come up with a lot of reasons some people shouldn't have kids, but wouldn't it be AWEFUL of me judge these people?? Well, it's just as rude to do the same to me. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #25 August 11, 2013 Nataly As for kids, people generally want me to come up with a good reason not to have them I normally just say "I have my reasons", but sometimes when pressed I'll expound on those reasons. Usually that ends the conversation cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
