What is the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?

[promise5 17]

I'll just answer " no comment"

No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible.
Believe me I tried.

[Andy9o8 2]

Looked at Bonfire threads in DZ.com.

[quade 4]

promise5

I'll just answer " no comment"

If you won't say, then why do you expect anyone else to?

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[promise5 17]

quade

***I'll just answer " no comment"

If you won't say, then why do you expect anyone else to?
I suppose I could since no one would believe it of me anyway.

Stripped down to cheeks and bra.
In my defense I did get gas spilled on me so I had to stand under the shower.

No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible.
Believe me I tried.

[grue 1]

When I was working in film and TV postproduction, I once told a client to get a running start, do a flip and jump up his own ass. That's probably the worst.

cavete terrae.

[airdvr 205]

promise5

******I'll just answer " no comment"

If you won't say, then why do you expect anyone else to?
I suppose I could since no one would believe it of me anyway.

Stripped down to cheeks and bra.
In my defense I did get gas spilled on me so I had to stand under the shower.

We're gonna need pictures...just sayin'.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[Boogers 0]

Fucked the secretary on the desk after hours. Oh, the act was only unprofessional from a business perspective. The secretary thought the fucking was very professional.

[NWFlyer 2]

There were probably more in my younger days, but this recent one springs to mind...


While at a dinner that included a coworker who used to be a Tandem Instructor, introduced my VP to the term "pussy pass."

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[weaverd 0]

I use to work loss prevention for a large Canadian retailer. I banged a chick in the office on the desk in front of all the TV monitors. She thought it was hot!

[CanuckInUSA 0]

Quote

What is the most unprofessional thing you've done at work?

Opened up a dz.com account and started posting. But somehow I don't think I am alone.

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over

[FlyingRhenquest 1]

It's probably a toss-up between introducing 13 instances of the word "Fuck" into code comments and the text of the old DEC Wombat page as a fairly well-hidden easter egg for querying the machine serial number WOMBAT into the MRPD code at IBM, or my resignation letter at Echostar.

To be fair my resignation letter did not include any of the instances of the word "fuck." It did, however, start "You plonkers have wasted enough of my time." I mean seriously, that's six months of my life I'll never get back. Fuck those assclowns.

I guess I didn't burn that bridge hard enough because a few years later Dish wanted to interview me, forcing me to reiterate my position (adopted after working at Echostar) that I will not consider a position at a company that wants you to take a personality test prior to the interview (Also, I will not consider a position at Echostar or any of its affiliates.)

The Skyventure Colorado wind tunnel is down near where I used to work for them. Every time I drive down there, I realize I could just take the next exit and burn down the old office.

I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here?

[ryoder 1,590]

FlyingRhenquest

Every time I drive down there, I realize I could just take the next exit and burn down the old office.

Is that you, Milton?

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[wolfriverjoe 1,495]

ryoder

***Every time I drive down there, I realize I could just take the next exit and burn down the old office.

Is that you, Milton?

I was going to ask if someone stole his stapler.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[jackwallace 3]

When I had the job of talking to the crane operator on the radio I would test the radio by singing instead of the test 1 2 crap. I'd sing the McDonalds song, some drinking songs. Well come to find out our radio was bleeding into the local cops radio. Specifically the police chiefs office radio. He thought we were doing it on purpose and sent a cop over to arrest "that guy". The cop came to the job looking for me and the boss told him "He up there. Go get him" I was sitting on the iron a couple hundred feet up. For some reason the cop didn't want to come up. So we got told we had to give the call letters or some crap every hour. So from then on in the morning for the radio test. I would sing the Captain Kangaroo song.

U only make 2 jumps: the first one for some weird reason and the last one that you lived through. The rest are just filler.
scr 316

[ryoder 1,590]

I would have done an impression of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuk8AOjGURE

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[skymama 35]

My list is long. I work for my Dad at his house and take advantage of the situation. I'm a bad daughter.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[catfishhunter 2]

I worked at Caesars Palace as a 20 year old long haired rocker who didn't work for the casino and had complete run if the place. The waitress's loved me the bartenders loved me the security loved me. I got away with more then any one person should ever get away with. I stayed in the Ann Margret suits every year back when it was THE place in Vegas. Since the was chandeliers and mirrors over all the beds in the suite and adjoining rooms it wasn't suspicious that all the covers where off the beds and the hot tub had to be cleaned since the massive chandelier above it just got cleaned. And this was tame compared to the Steinway grand piano in the convention area.good thing the security guard was my buddy :) oh and me and the wife own our business and work together currently

MAKE EVERY DAY COUNT
Life is Short and we never know how long we are going to have. We must live life to the fullest EVERY DAY. Everything we do should have a greater purpose.

[BigMikeH77 0]

When I held my last position, I had a really big office and a staff that pretty much did great as long as I left them alone. So most of my time was spend throwing darts and napping.

That's not the MOST unprofessional thing I've done though. I simply can't go into that on a public forum. It's pretty wild though.

[JohnMitchell 16]

Hmmm, I got two airliners too close once.

[NSEMN8R 0]

When I was a corporate stooge the guy in the cubicle next to me left his computer logged in at lunch so I sent out a company wide "coming out of the closet" email from him.

[craigbey 0]

Quote

Hmmm, I got two airliners too close once.

'too close'?

[mr2mk1g 10]

About a decade ago a rather new member my team received a call from the other side's lawyers on a case we were working on. They turned to me for advice and said that our offer had been rejected and what should he say. I asked if we'd made the maximum offer we were willing to make and he said yes. So I said: "tell them to fuck off and issue court proceedings then".

Yeah... turns out he hadn't put them on hold and they'd heard the entire conversation. Got put straight through to the compaints partner who, god love him, backed me up and reiterated what I'd said. Then told me not to do that again. I haven't and my team ALWAYS puts the phone on hold before asking me a question.

[kcjen24 0]

Y'all keep the stories coming. I need some ideas for when I leave this hell-hole.

Although it's not me... we MIGHT have someone tea-bagging the boss's coffee cup on a daily basis (before coffee gets poured into it BTW).

Now, everyone go wash your coffee cup!

[FlyingRhenquest 1]

Hah! I bet he never forgot to lock his computer again! Folks who forget to lock their computers when I'm around will either find their browser on the Pen Island web site when they get back (be sure to google it because there are three "penisland" domains, .net, .com and .org and you REALLY don't want to get the wrong one!) Either that or their desktop background is set to the first image that pops up on google images when you google on "Justin Bieber Glamor Photos" or "My little pony wallpaper".

On the same IBM project I added the Wombat Easter egg to, I also referred to a brief member of the team as a "stupid little bitch" while my manager was standing right behind me. But in my defense, he WAS a stupid little bitch, and he'd nearly got one of our team fired with his incompetence. Not even the guy who threatened to kill my manager and had security walk him out of the building was THAT bad! That was such a fun project...

I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here?

[davjohns 1]

Things under the 'most' category will have to wait until I am retired.

Once ambushed a co-worker, shrink wrapped him to an office chair, left him in the hall while the rest of us went to work.

One guy came back from leave to find the door to his office covered in clear plastic and the office filled to the ceiling with balloons.

One guy came back from leave to find everything on his desk gift-wrapped. Another returned to find all of his stuff was in blocks of ice.

I used to deal in security issues. Whever I found a computer that someone had left signed-on, someone else got an email professing undying love.

I had a Chief of Staff who had a proclivity to play a song on the PA system of the HQ building on Fridays. We remotely accessed his computer and replaced the file with one that started out with his song...then swapped to YMCA. When he hear that, he cut off the PA; then came back and called me by name. By the time I got to his office, the file had been swapped back. I asked him to show me that there was a problem with the file. It was fine. His pet name for me was already 'shithead'. What was he going to do?

I had a habit of parking behind someone and blocking them in my reserved spot if they used it without my permission. One day, another Major came looking for me. He was pissed. I figured he was the guy. He invited me to go outside. I was delighted. When he realized I was headed for the back door and quite happy to throw down, he nearly choked. He turned and went the other direction. He went back to his boss, who called me, apologized, and asked me to let the guy out so he could go to a meeting. The guy never made eye contact with me again.

Those were all at just one assignment.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.