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dzswoop717

Bar room Liars (jump, fly, land TYPES)

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Remster

******

Quote

"Oh, I quit logging"



Amazing how many skydivers are also lumberjacks.


I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.
:)
We know. We all saw the video from the bar's webcam. :|

What can I say?
It just makes me feel pretty!:)
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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yoink

***

Later, he went on to explain that he trained with 2000 square foot parachutes.



Would you have to pay the packers extra for that?

Well, if you flat pack it's going to fill the whole hanger. If you pro-pack it, you'll have to stand on the roof and drape it over the edge. That's gotta be worth more money.

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airtwardo

Doesn't only happen in skydiving...:D

My better half is a senior Captain for a major airline, 5' tall & 110 lbs soaking wet, she certainly doesn't look like someone with 30,000 hours of 'jet time'...

Some of the "I'm a pilot" pick-up lines she's heard are 10x's funnier that what 'we' hear!

She tends to give enough rope... then comes back with "You REALLY picked the wrong girl to try THAT line on!" :ph34r:

The best was watching the color drain for some asshats face when she pulled out her license with endorsements for 727,747,757, 767 & 777 on it..."let's see YOURS!" B|

:ph34r:



That's just sexy!! :$
Always be kinder than you feel.

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I was on the other end - heard these two guys chatting up the barmaids in my North London local - suggesting they take them on tandem jumps - me - feeling cocky (just got my FS1 ticket) asks if they skydive too?

Turns out one was the ex leader of the Freds (Red Devils) and the other was the only civilian to demo jump into Wembley Stadium :$

Luckily - I didn't put my foot into it up to my neck - but did have 2 more drinking buddies!

Squiffy

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LuckyMcSwervy

***Doesn't only happen in skydiving...:D

My better half is a senior Captain for a major airline, 5' tall & 110 lbs soaking wet, she certainly doesn't look like someone with 30,000 hours of 'jet time'...

Some of the "I'm a pilot" pick-up lines she's heard are 10x's funnier that what 'we' hear!

She tends to give enough rope... then comes back with "You REALLY picked the wrong girl to try THAT line on!" :ph34r:

The best was watching the color drain for some asshats face when she pulled out her license with endorsements for 727,747,757, 767 & 777 on it..."let's see YOURS!" B|

:ph34r:



That's just sexy!! :$


Yeah....I know! :$;)B|










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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airtwardo

Doesn't only happen in skydiving...:D

My better half is a senior Captain for a major airline, 5' tall & 110 lbs soaking wet, she certainly doesn't look like someone with 30,000 hours of 'jet time'...

Some of the "I'm a pilot" pick-up lines she's heard are 10x's funnier that what 'we' hear!

She tends to give enough rope... then comes back with "You REALLY picked the wrong girl to try THAT line on!" :ph34r:

The best was watching the color drain for some asshats face when she pulled out her license with endorsements for 727,747,757, 767 & 777 on it..."let's see YOURS!" B|

:ph34r:



It's never good when a womans is bigger than yours :o
Give one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws.

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I have run into many of them over the years, most I just let spin their tale with a smile and a slight "egging on" just to see how far they will go.... so I am petty... sue me :P

some though ... some people will just not stop even when busted quite thoroughly and the hole just keeps getting deeper no matter how hard they dig:)

Roy

They say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it.

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D22369

I have run into many of them over the years, most I just let spin their tale with a smile and a slight "egging on" just to see how far they will go.... so I am petty... sue me :P

some though ... some people will just not stop even when busted quite thoroughly and the hole just keeps getting deeper no matter how hard they dig:)

Roy



I had a boss like that once, been everywhere & done everything.

He was a world class skydiver with 'thousands' of jumps 'back in college'...the tales were hilarious, I'd egg him on for stories but never mentioned that I jump!

Back during the 1st Gulf War we were working 7 days a week as a defense contractor - told him I needed a Sunday off because of prior plans.

I gave him a nod as I walk past his field level seats after I landed with a flag on the 50 at a San Diego Chargers game ~ he never spoke of Skydiving in my presence again. :ph34r:










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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airtwardo


I gave him a nod as I walk past his field level seats after I landed with a flag on the 50 at a San Diego Chargers game ~ he never spoke of Skydiving in my presence again. :ph34r:

B|B|B|

And you got the girl too. ;)

I gotta try that "only made a couple" line sometime to see what tales I can hear. I did have a young woman, friend of a roommate, go on and on about her skydiving experiences, sitting in a chair right next to my packed up Racer. She had brought it up out of the clear blue sky. :S:D

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JohnMitchell

I did have a young woman, friend of a roommate, go on and on about her skydiving experiences, sitting in a chair right next to my packed up Racer. She had brought it up out of the clear blue sky. :S:D

many people could talk about skydiving and not recognize a Racer as a rig :D:D:D:D
scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

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piisfish

*** I did have a young woman, friend of a roommate, go on and on about her skydiving experiences, sitting in a chair right next to my packed up Racer. She had brought it up out of the clear blue sky. :S:D

many people could talk about skydiving and not recognize a Racer as a rig :D:D:D:D

Ouch .. that's harsh

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

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I was packing my rig one time and this little kid comes over and asks me, "why don't you use a packing machine"? I was being polite and I explained that there is no such thing as a packing machine. He got a little upset and swore that his dad ran a packing machine in the Army. We talked back and forth for a while, I was attempting to explain how hard it would be to create such a machine with so many different size canopies and so forth. He stood his ground, and when his dad walked up to us, the kid looked up to his Dad and said "didn't you run a packing machine in the Army". His Dad laughed and said, "no son, I was a packing machine I was an army parachute rigger'. We got a good laugh out of that one.

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piisfish

*** I did have a young woman, friend of a roommate, go on and on about her skydiving experiences, sitting in a chair right next to my packed up Racer. She had brought it up out of the clear blue sky. :S:D

many people could talk about skydiving and not recognize a Racer as a rig :D:D:D:D

Damm.. I was totally gonna make that joke! :ph34r:
Remster

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grimmie

Craig Girard has the all time funniest "I'm a skydiver" story. He was coming back from the World Cup one year and some guy next to him on the plane goes on and on about being a jumper. And of course Craig just eggs him on. He never did tell the guy he just won a gold medal and he saw through the BS. He let the guy have his glory.



I am not a world-class skydiver but I did get chatted up on a plane once by someone who claimed to be a skydiver. I didn't tell him I jumped... Just asked him if he was jumping the new triangular canopies I saw in a documentary recently... He said yes. He also said he jumped from 22 miles of altitude, had about 15 minutes of free-fall, et cetera, et cetera. I said "oh, that's sooooo cool" and went back to reading my book.
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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I ran into another liar. This guy has been bullshitting a skydiving buddy of mine for years. My buddies wife works with this guy, that claims to be a skydiver. He knows all the terminoligy and many of the local jumpers from the past. He told many jump stories to my buddies wife and has even told stories to my buddy with names, dates and other info that make him sound credible. My buddy has asked around and no one has ever heard of the guy. About a month ago I was in my hanger working and another one of our old skydiving friends comes in with a friend of his that I had never met before. We were introduced and after some small talk he tells me he works with my buddies wife. As soon as I put 2 and 2 together, that this is the guy my buddy has been asking about, He realizes at about the same time, he might be had and he quickly changes the subject. They leave and later that week I ask the friend who visited my hanger who that guy was. He told me they have been friends for years. I then asked if he was a skydiver and my friend told me that he made 1 tandem back in the late eighties. I went on to tell him some of the stories that my other buddies wife had told us and he says "Those are my jump stories." This liar had been repeating our friends jump stories as if they were his stories. This guy is a master liar because he told the stories exactly as he had heard them with out embelishing at all. The liar has not been informed yet that we are on to him, but after our meeting the stories have ended. We will let it simmer for a while. Maybe he will think he got away with it and start telling stories again. This liar also had many NASCAR stories that he also stopped telling at work. The world is full of them!

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