0
Sebazz1

My three hole punch rocks!!

Recommended Posts

This is my 3 hole punch. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my 3 hole punch is useless. Without my 3 hole punch, I am useless. I must hole punch my 3 hole punch true. I must hole punch better than the coworker who is trying to outhole punch me. I must hole punch before he hole punch. I will. My 3 hole punch and I know that what counts in the office is not the papers we turn in, not the memo cover sheets we attach, or the projects we complete. We know that it is the hole punches that count. We will hole punch.

My hole punch is human, even as I am human, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn it's weakenesses, it's strengths, it's parts, it's accessories, it's catching tray, and it's levers. I will keep my 3 hole punch clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other.

Before God I swear this creed. My 3 hole punch and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our coworkers. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until victory is mine and there is no unpunched paper.
Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

This is my 3 hole punch. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my 3 hole punch is useless. Without my 3 hole punch, I am useless. I must hole punch my 3 hole punch true. I must hole punch better than the coworker who is trying to outhole punch me. I must hole punch before he hole punch. I will. My 3 hole punch and I know that what counts in the office is not the papers we turn in, not the memo cover sheets we attach, or the projects we complete. We know that it is the hole punches that count. We will hole punch.

My hole punch is human, even as I am human, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn it's weakenesses, it's strengths, it's parts, it's accessories, it's catching tray, and it's levers. I will keep my 3 hole punch clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other.

Before God I swear this creed. My 3 hole punch and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our coworkers. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until victory is mine and there is no unpunched paper.




d00d.................................................yer scarin' me! :|










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Every time this thread pops up like a 50 jump freeflyer, it makes me laugh. This has been around for a LONG time.



That's my new favorite simile. :D Somehow I managed to miss it in previous readings of this thread.
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

This is my 3 hole punch. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my 3 hole punch is useless. Without my 3 hole punch, I am useless. I must hole punch my 3 hole punch true. I must hole punch better than the coworker who is trying to outhole punch me. I must hole punch before he hole punch. I will. My 3 hole punch and I know that what counts in the office is not the papers we turn in, not the memo cover sheets we attach, or the projects we complete. We know that it is the hole punches that count. We will hole punch.

My hole punch is human, even as I am human, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn it's weakenesses, it's strengths, it's parts, it's accessories, it's catching tray, and it's levers. I will keep my 3 hole punch clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other.

Before God I swear this creed. My 3 hole punch and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our coworkers. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until victory is mine and there is no unpunched paper.




d00d.................................................yer scarin' me! :|


At least I took down my last avatar!:P:D
Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

Quote



At least I took down my last avatar!:P:D



Which needs doing again.


Who needs doing again???:ph34r:


not who - WHAT - and the answer is " changing your avatar."
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote



At least I took down my last avatar!:P:D



Which needs doing again.


Who needs doing again???:ph34r:


not who - WHAT - and the answer is " changing your avatar."


As soon as twardo dies, I'll change it.:D
Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote



At least I took down my last avatar!:P:D



Which needs doing again.


Who needs doing again???:ph34r:


not who - WHAT - and the answer is " changing your avatar."


As soon as twardo dies, I'll change it.:D


Hold yer breath there skippy...I'll be pissin' on your grave long before that! :ph34r:










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote



At least I took down my last avatar!:P:D



Which needs doing again.


Who needs doing again???:ph34r:


not who - WHAT - and the answer is " changing your avatar."


As soon as twardo dies, I'll change it.:D


Hold yer breath there skippy...I'll be pissin' on your grave long before that! :ph34r:


That is a VERY disturbing image - and wrong on so many levels . . . .
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote

Quote



At least I took down my last avatar!:P:D



Which needs doing again.


Who needs doing again???:ph34r:


not who - WHAT - and the answer is " changing your avatar."


As soon as twardo dies, I'll change it.:D


Hold yer breath there skippy...I'll be pissin' on your grave long before that! :ph34r:


Can't... I'm busy smokin!:P
Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

That is some serious competition to sebazz's 3hole punch.



I hit a 40ish page document with it today and it was like pushing a hot knife through butter. The holes were perfect little tunnels, straight and true. B| Gotta be careful to read the warnings first though...hole punching can apparently be quite hazardous. I'd post the close-up of that, but it turned out a little blurry. I shall try again tomorrow.

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I love my paperweight. You'll never punch holes in the paper under my paperweight, for my paperweight is the fierce guardian of my papers sworn to protect them at any cost. Not a strong blow from the A/C vent above, nor the threat of a desk fan is capable of whisking away the paper from underneath the safety of my paperweight. My paperweight has my name engraved on the bottom so don't even think about stealing it. There is no other paperweight like mine in the world. I don't even have to guard it with my life because my paperweight is its own convoy--the strong little watchman of my documents.
Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I must say, this is some serious 3 hole punch action. But with that said, it has a little too much of an industrial feel to it. Its like the 80's craze of industrial lofts with no bathroom. They look good from afar, but would you bring a date to it.

So Dave, would you bring a date to your 3 hole punch?
Remster

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

This thread has always been one one of my favorites on Dizzie.Com.



Mine too, but I've been extremely hesitant to post to it, given my thread-killing tendencies. However, I think it has now reached "juggernaut" status, which means nothing short of a direct nuclear strike will destroy it.

Or a half-pound of pressure from sangiro's fingertip. ;)


Don
"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd never read it before today. I have to agree with the consensus--one of the best thread's ever!

The first post, steve1's paper-shredder post, and Sunny's canned-air posts are my favorite. :D

I realize I'm Jamie-came-lately here, but I couldn't bare for this thread to go down in history without my contribution. B|

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0