promise5 17 #101 June 12, 2014 I was being sarcastic.and joking. No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #102 June 12, 2014 Curious, based on something in another thread: is the stalker who's creeping you male or female? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #103 June 13, 2014 Andy9o8Curious, based on something in another thread: is the stalker who's creeping you male or female? Probably both.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SivaGanesha 2 #104 June 13, 2014 JohnMitchell I tell them "Because if they smile at you even a little, you go bugging them, thinking you have a 'chance'". So the ladies will only condescend to speak to the guy if they first kick him to the curb by assuring him that he has 'no chance'? If she's a lesbian then, yes, he has no chance. If she's in a committed relationship with another man then, yes, he has no chance. But in all other situations what the f**k is wrong with him thinking he has a chance?"It's hard to have fun at 4-way unless your whole team gets down to the ground safely to do it again!"--Northern California Skydiving League re USPA Safety Day, March 8, 2014 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #105 June 13, 2014 Stalkers and bullies and rapists all have one thing in common - they go too far. Are we really still playing "blame the victim" here?? Promise5: I'm afraid the bad news is that you are not the one who needs to modify your behaviour... It's your stalker who needs to stop stalking... And getting someone else to change their behaviour is not so simple. Sure you can discourage them, but if they want to keep stalking you they will. Sorry. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #106 June 13, 2014 Nataly Stalkers and bullies and rapists all have one thing in common - they go too far. Are we really still playing "blame the victim" here?? Promise5: I'm afraid the bad news is that you are not the one who needs to modify your behaviour... It's your stalker who needs to stop stalking... And getting someone else to change their behaviour is not so simple. Sure you can discourage them, but if they want to keep stalking you they will. Sorry. OOOoooooooh . . . Ryoder is in TRU - BULLEI'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #107 June 13, 2014 SivaGanesha ***I tell them "Because if they smile at you even a little, you go bugging them, thinking you have a 'chance'". So the ladies will only condescend to speak to the guy if they first kick him to the curb by assuring him that he has 'no chance'? But in all other situations what the f**k is wrong with him thinking he has a chance? It IS quite the conundrum. That's why there are so many books on "how to pick up women." Most guys just need to slow down and be a little more genuine. It helps to also realize that big guys can be a real physical threat to women. Chat lightly, keep them at ease, and tell them you'd love to go out with them sometime. And smile. Women, am I on the right track? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #108 June 13, 2014 Confidence but not cockiness Yes, smile!!!!!!No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #109 June 13, 2014 Stalking is serious business. But judging from the direction this thread has taken, I don't think I am the only person wondering if there was ever a real stalking issue or not. Regardless, Quade brought up very good points which have nothing to do with blaming the victim. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #110 June 13, 2014 tigraStalking is serious business. But judging from the direction this thread has taken, I don't think I am the only person wondering if there was ever a real stalking issue or not. Regardless, Quade brought up very good points which have nothing to do with blaming the victim. Whilst I agree that some people are better at avoiding stalker's attention in the first place, I do not believe that being coy/flirty/sexual gives anyone permission to go too far. Too far is too far. Even if Promise5 invites a lot of attention, some attention is unwanted. As long as she is clear that it is unwanted and the person does not stop, the stalker is in the wrong. Period. Whether this is a real or a hypothetical situation is irrelevant to me... My answer would be the same: unfortunately, it is the stalker's behaviour that must change, and although you can discourage a person from doing/saying certain things, ultimately, it is the stalker who has to change his/her behaviour (not the victim). I'm a pragmatic person... I know very well that it is in a woman's interest to simply avoid certain situations (dark alleys at night, et cetera)... I simply think that more awareness is needed in order to educate people as to how the PERPETRATORS need to change. (ie: it is misguided to give women a curfew to avoid them being raped - it would make more sense to give men a curfew!!! This is just an example - I am not saying either gender should have a curfew, just that we are going about solving problems by trying to get victims to change, when it is the abusers who abuse and therefore the abusers who need to change/stop.)"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #111 June 13, 2014 I'm not going to get into the issue. It's a public forum and each has their own opinion. If I'm out of line then I'm sure someone will let me know. Just because someone brings humor to something doesn't mean the issue isn't serious. You or any others may have as many doubts as you would like, I'm happy to hopefully have it resolved. Those that needed proof got it. I refuse to do the let's choose sides. For Nataly, not all stalkers are men. Women can stalk other women and who knows the reason. Just like men can stalk other men.No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #112 June 13, 2014 promise5For Nataly, not all stalkers are men. Women can stalk other women and who knows the reason. Just like men can stalk other men. I know that perfectly well - I just used some common examples to illustrate my point. But of course bullies/stalkers et cetera come in all shapes and sizes (and genders)."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #113 June 13, 2014 promise5 Confidence but not cockiness Yes, smile!!!!!! I blur the lines of confidence and cockiness. And i don't like smiling because i'm conscious about a gap in my front teeth. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #114 June 13, 2014 My guess is if you continue to use your current approach, you'll have less teeth to worry about at some point. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 3 #115 June 13, 2014 Nataly...just that we are going about solving problems by trying to get victims to change, when it is the abusers who abuse and therefore the abusers who need to change/stop. How familiar are you with Aesop's fables? In particular the one about the Farmer and the Snake? Essentially the last line goes something to the effect of, "You knew I was a snake when we met, why are you surprised I bit you?" There will ALWAYS be evil in the world. Assuming it will stop is naive. That is not an excuse for it, it's simply pragmatic.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #116 June 13, 2014 normiss My guess is if you continue to use your current approach, you'll have less teeth to worry about at some point. crab bait Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #117 June 13, 2014 Quote And smile. And that your Honor, is where the trouble began...We live in a forested area of a medium sized bedroom community near Houston. The whole town has 'Greenbelt Trails' that are concrete walking paths through the woods. Usually quiet there are relatively few people that use them, kids on bikes do more often as it can be a shortcut away from busy streets with traffic. I use to take the one behind our place every morning to go a few blocks and hit the local Starbucks for a bit of morning fuel. Often I'd pass or be passed by early morning joggers or small groups of women walking together getting their exercise. Nearly every day I would pass a small group of mid-30's soccer moms walking together...4 or 5 women walking together. I'd usually acknowledge them with a nod or a 'good morning' as we passed on the trail going opposite directions. One monday morning I was a bit hobbled with a sore knee because of some stupid weekend hobby that occasionally gets me banged up a little...So there I am sitting on one of the benches along the trail enjoying my cup of brew when the aforementioned ladies walk past. I smiled and said hello...all of them looked at me in horror, like I'd dropped a deuce in the Christmas punch bowl! 5 short minutes later I'm surrounded by 6 cops! Granted - I know time has not been kind to me & I do look a bit like a pissed off serial killer...but come on, I've seen LOTS of people scarier than me - greeting at Wal Mart! Your basic Felony Stop ensued with me on my knees hands on my head...answering accusations of 'stalking' innocent women on the Greenbelt!? I asked to have the person(s) making the complaint to return and explain exactly what it was I did to incur this wrath. Two of the cops were being extremely condescending & rather rough with me both physically & verbally. . . one stated there was video 'evidence' of my 'laying in wait'. I'd had enough, I got up off my knees and said in that case either arrest me or get out of my way because I'm going home to shower up and then head to the district headquarters and file a complaint. They all just stood there silent as I walked away... Two hours later I was in the local cop-shop speaking with an investigator who had called in the two asshat Dirty Harrys so we could all discuss the mornings events. On the investigators laptop was the 'video evidence' which was cell phone footage of me sitting on a bench drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette, rubbing my sore knee... and then committing the heinous act of smiling at the walkers and saying hello! I accepted the investigators apology for the over reaction on the departments part, and he assured me some retraining was in order. The two 'cops' just stared at me when I offered a compromise...they could roll up their uniform pants and go out on the concrete to kneel down with their hand on their heads for 15 minutes as I had done...and the whole thing would be dropped, barring that - an official complaint would be filed with Internal Affairs. I filed the complaint later that afternoon...and have NEVER gone on a Greenbelt trail since. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #118 June 13, 2014 That's effed up. I'm sorry you had to go through that and also that you don't enjoy the trail any longer. I bet those ladies are the types that dramatically hold their handbags tighter to their body when they pass a black guy on the street. Idiots.Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #119 June 13, 2014 LuckyMcSwervy That's effed up. I'm sorry you had to go through that and also that you don't enjoy the trail any longer. I bet those ladies are the types that dramatically hold their handbags tighter to their body when they pass a black guy on the street. Idiots. That's kinda what my wife said - they probably have little to talk about so they built up this 'made for TV' scenario in their heads which snowballed into Charlie Manson hiding in the weeds dressed in Camo waiting to pounce on their cellulite covered brewery horse size asses. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #120 June 13, 2014 airtwardo ***That's effed up. I'm sorry you had to go through that and also that you don't enjoy the trail any longer. I bet those ladies are the types that dramatically hold their handbags tighter to their body when they pass a black guy on the street. Idiots. That's kinda what my wife said - they probably have little to talk about so they built up this 'made for TV' scenario in their heads which snowballed into Charlie Manson hiding in the weeds dressed in Camo waiting to pounce on their cellulite covered brewery horse size asses. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #121 June 13, 2014 normiss My guess is if you continue to use your current approach, you'll have less teeth to worry about at some point. LOL! but c'mon, the crooked and gapped teeths are from hockey back in the day Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #122 June 13, 2014 GooniesKid ***My guess is if you continue to use your current approach, you'll have less teeth to worry about at some point. LOL! but c'mon, the crooked and gapped teeths are from hockey back in the day You must've been a lame scrapper if you're the one with the jacked up hockey teeth. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #123 June 13, 2014 Hhhhhhmmm trying to think: would I be scared if twardo smiled, would I be scared if twardo smiled,hhhhhhmmmmmm That's a tough call,now if it was turtle oh crud I'd be scared. Very scared. It's the toe thing. No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GooniesKid 0 #124 June 13, 2014 LuckyMcSwervy ******My guess is if you continue to use your current approach, you'll have less teeth to worry about at some point. LOL! but c'mon, the crooked and gapped teeths are from hockey back in the day You must've been a lame scrapper if you're the one with the jacked up hockey teeth. Aww c'mon..i wasn't that bad. Eventhough somedays i got back from a game looking like this But i got through school from a hockey scholarship. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #125 June 14, 2014 GooniesKid *********My guess is if you continue to use your current approach, you'll have less teeth to worry about at some point. LOL! but c'mon, the crooked and gapped teeths are from hockey back in the day You must've been a lame scrapper if you're the one with the jacked up hockey teeth. Aww c'mon..i wasn't that bad. Eventhough somedays i got back from a game looking like this But i got through school from a hockey scholarship. I enjoyed going the Blackhawks fights in Chicago back when I was a kid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
