Avikus 0 #1 August 20, 2014 Hey fellow sky people! So after a few months, yet another relationship has been kill by our love of the sport. I've come to wonder if it's possible to get a future with someone who doesn't enjoy a few moment of pure liberty as we do on regular bases. That being said, I work at a DZ that is 90min away. As a Coach and Packer, I'm expected to be present every weekend (weekend only DZ) as I have been for the past 4 season. Even when I first met the, now just turned Ex, girl, I've warned her with the situation that I am absent every weekend, for 7 months a year, doing something I truly love. As the week past, she started to realize that yeah, I am truly gone, truly away... and problems slowly start to build. Insecurity kicked in (as she heard of some of the drama and/or shenanigans that happens on DZ), negative conversation applied. And to make thing worst, I made my way to summerfest in Chicago for the full event and was gone and almost unreachable for 10 days... which cost a lot relationship wise (it's over, okay it's not and so on). Once I came back it was never truly the same. The relationship had a scar between us and it was always about me being absent. Starting to think about me quitting when we have kids (yes, this early) and having a weekend off a month to spend with her. That last one I didn't mind much, outside the fact that she never had the intention to come spend a weekend at my DZ with me and all the crazy but great people that also call it their 2nd home. So I ask her what she would do if I went to summerfest next year, and 10 minutes later I was officially single. /rant over What do you guys think about dating a whuffo? Is it possible? or am I stuck having to date a girl at my DZ that will only bring more problems... Cheers,Avikus - Packer and Jumper - Hate landing with the plane! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingRhenquest 1 #2 August 20, 2014 Ah yes, the age old story of "Boy meets girl, boy dates girl, girl says 'we need to talk about how much time you're spending at the dropzone,' boy dumps girl." I'd guess it doesn't always have to be the same, but you do have to be able to do other things together than you both enjoy. I also think she'd have to be at least a little interested in the sport, at least to the point where she's excited to watch the videos. Maybe try screening the next one by showing her your skydiving videos and see how she responds to them. Of course, there's always the chance she runs screaming from the building when you do that...I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Avikus 0 #3 August 20, 2014 Oh! I tried! When I got back from SF, and looked at all the video online of the event... I felt like I was gonna get stab "You've just spent a week skydiving and first thing you do is watch video!!!" And that's the other thing! She had no hobbies herself! What so ever! I was her main source of entertainment!Avikus - Packer and Jumper - Hate landing with the plane! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 14 #4 August 20, 2014 Eventually most jumpers figure out that there is more to life then spending every weekend at the dropzone and expand their social circle to include other people also. For years I spent all my time at a DZ and then all winter I only had other jumpers to try and hang out with. I could never get a non-jumper to date me long enough to last a season and eventually met a jumper that worked out long term. The issue is as we both matured and got tired of not having anything else to do but sit at a dropzone we started figuring out there was a lot more to do in life then just hit boogies and stare at rain from hanger doors on bad weather weekends. We started taking weekends off to do things like travel to the beach, we went to events and to backpack. Other time started being spent working on our house and eventually we realized just how limited we were when we only knew skydiving. While I still enjoy going to a boogie from time to time I have figured out a much better balance in my life and now can do things on the weekends away from a DZ and not get upset that I am not there anymore. Now that we have a child I find it just as much fun to hang around the house and play with her than I do going to the DZ on the weekend. My jump numbers might have slowed to only 100-125 a year now but with the balance in my weekends for the limited summer season I have way more fun now when I am out there.Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #5 August 20, 2014 Avikus Oh! I tried! When I got back from SF, and looked at all the video online of the event... I felt like I was gonna get stab "You've just spent a week skydiving and first thing you do is watch video!!!" And that's the other thing! She had no hobbies herself! What so ever! I was her main source of entertainment! There's your problem. Someone can't possibly depend on you and you alone for her "entertainment". I think someone who doesn't have any interests/hobbies/passions outside of a coupling is a huge red flag. I'd beat feet ASAP but I wouldn't have let myself get into a relationship with someone without any depth in the first place. I'm sorry you hurting but it doesn't sound like your heart was in it anyway or you would've made some weekend compromises on your end. Follow your heart and gut to the DZ. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Avikus 0 #6 August 20, 2014 I was at first ... until I realize what you've just said! Cheers guys! ;)Avikus - Packer and Jumper - Hate landing with the plane! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #7 August 20, 2014 I've seen a lot of relationships and even marriages work with one partner being a non-jumper. Usually they feel part of the jumping community to begin with, or the jumper dials back their participation. Being married to a jumper is the best, I think. Except I have to pack twice as much. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #8 August 20, 2014 Quote Except I have to pack twice as much. They have this wonderful invention called packers now, John... Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hcsvader 1 #9 August 20, 2014 JohnMitchell I've seen a lot of relationships and even marriages work with one partner being a non-jumper. Usually they feel part of the jumping community to begin with, or the jumper dials back their participation. Being married to a jumper is the best, I think. Except I have to pack twice as much. Im teaching mine to pack. She needs a new career Have you seen my pants? it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream >:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EChen22 0 #10 August 20, 2014 JohnMitchell Except I have to pack twice as much. My S.O. and I have an understanding - he packs my rig, he gets a 20 min massage when we get home. :)You may never get rid of the butterflies, but you can teach them to fly in formation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #11 August 20, 2014 hcsvader Im teaching mine to pack. She needs a new career When V and I were having kids, we were super lucky to have friends that would hold the baby or two while we jumped together. As soon as we landed, I'd say "Go get the baby. I'll pack for you." By the time our kids were self-sufficient, she had kind of forgotten how to pack. She freely admits her last pack job was a line-over.Also, with lupus, she only has so much energy for each day. I'd much rather be her packer boy and let her use her strength for more jumps. But hey, if you have the energy and strength, packer ain't a bad job. My son made a TON of $$ growing up packing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #12 August 20, 2014 EChen22 My S.O. and I have an understanding - he packs my rig, he gets a 20 min massage when we get home. :) You are a sweetheart. I bet he grabs that rig right out of your arms. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #13 August 20, 2014 hcsvader ***I've seen a lot of relationships and even marriages work with one partner being a non-jumper. Usually they feel part of the jumping community to begin with, or the jumper dials back their participation. Being married to a jumper is the best, I think. Except I have to pack twice as much. Im teaching mine to pack. She needs a new career Then be sure to start having kids ASAP..by the time she gets tired of packing you will have grown your own... Do like John did and make a packer .. a pretty darn good one too Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #14 August 20, 2014 EChen22 *** Except I have to pack twice as much. My S.O. and I have an understanding - he packs my rig, he gets a 20 min massage when we get home. :) Happy ending? With finger? Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #15 August 20, 2014 I'm the whuffo of all whuffos lol I fell in love with the sport because I started dating a skydiver. Weekends are for the DZ! It's a great place to make new friends and have fun. Lol I would get on him about wasting jump money and I have gotten on friends for the same thing. As far as boogies I guess maybe you should have taken her with. Not sure what advice to give you though!No matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Avikus 0 #16 August 20, 2014 That's the problem, is by the time I invite her to the DZ to explore the social aspect of it all, where we all know great people hang around the DZs of this world, she was fed up with everything skydiving related. She hates the sport because of ripped us appart. such is life!Avikus - Packer and Jumper - Hate landing with the plane! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
promise5 17 #17 August 20, 2014 Well it sounds like your better off without her. The sport didn't rip you apart. Also, I didn't wait to be invited to go to the DZ. But then I'm single so what do I know !! LolNo matter how slowly you say oranges it never sounds like gullible. Believe me I tried. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grimmie 173 #18 August 20, 2014 My wife doesn't jump. So I started a DZ and made her quit her real job and become manifest wench and accountant. Problem solved. Get creative, eh! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TEB6363 0 #19 August 20, 2014 Mental Note: Don't Flirt with the Manifest Girl while at OceansideOh- Edited to add: Mine's a Whuffo, but I found her at Square1, so she knows the sport Once the plane takes off, you're gonna have to land - Might as well jump out!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stumpy 253 #20 August 20, 2014 Avikus And that's the other thing! She had no hobbies herself! What so ever! I was her main source of entertainment! This would have killed it whether you were a skydiver or not.Never try to eat more than you can lift Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomerdog 0 #21 August 20, 2014 QuoteEven when I first met the, now just turned Ex, girl, I've warned her with the situation that I am absent every weekend, for 7 months a year, doing something I truly love. Well, you were up front and honest with the lady from the git go so nothing to be sorry about that one! Something tells me from your writing that this lady made an attempt to change you. It's one of the biggest mistakes some (not all) women make with men. They try to change them and when they finally realize the impossible effort they took on to no avail, they either leave or accept you the way you are. In this case she left...NEXT. Good luck...the love of your life is out there...somewhere! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #22 August 20, 2014 Remster ****** Except I have to pack twice as much. My S.O. and I have an understanding - he packs my rig, he gets a 20 min massage when we get home. :) Happy ending? With finger? Oh, French style??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyjumpenfool 2 #23 August 20, 2014 Next time, bring your "woofo" girlfriend out to the DZ. Someone there is bound to make her happy. Birdshit & Fools Productions "Son, only two things fall from the sky." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingRhenquest 1 #24 August 21, 2014 PhreeZoneEventually most jumpers figure out that there is more to life then spending every weekend at the dropzone and expand their social circle to include other people also. For years I spent all my time at a DZ and then all winter I only had other jumpers to try and hang out with. I could never get a non-jumper to date me long enough to last a season and eventually met a jumper that worked out long term. The issue is as we both matured and got tired of not having anything else to do but sit at a dropzone we started figuring out there was a lot more to do in life then just hit boogies and stare at rain from hanger doors on bad weather weekends. We started taking weekends off to do things like travel to the beach, we went to events and to backpack. Other time started being spent working on our house and eventually we realized just how limited we were when we only knew skydiving. While I still enjoy going to a boogie from time to time I have figured out a much better balance in my life and now can do things on the weekends away from a DZ and not get upset that I am not there anymore. Now that we have a child I find it just as much fun to hang around the house and play with her than I do going to the DZ on the weekend. My jump numbers might have slowed to only 100-125 a year now but with the balance in my weekends for the limited summer season I have way more fun now when I am out there. Heresy! Shun the non-believer! Shun! Shun!I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
colossus 0 #25 August 21, 2014 I hear the same thing... with my wife. I have made a compromise such that I am only out once a weekend. One day for me, one day for her. In addition, (knowing that I am whipped!) I take on as many chores during the week so that I can have some fun time. As for Summerfest, yep it was a blast. I am getting all my chits in order right now, sucking up as much as I can, so that I can go again next year. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites