0
virgin-burner

Morphine..

Recommended Posts

BIGUN

The day after my hernia surgery, I woke up to my gonads being that large.... or, should I say that's what woke me up. I looked down and thought, "I am in deep shit!!!"

Gently roll outta bed, pull on some running pants and shirt. Then, gently ease off the bed and cradle the grapefruits in my hands and waddle out to the truck to drive to the Doctor. The admin at his station sees me waddling in and picks up the phone before I get to her desk. Doctor greets me as I waddle up and says, "Come on back."

He has me sit on the edge of the exam table and takes a look. At this point, I say, "You wanna tell me what's going on here?" Yup. It's a buildup of seminal fluid and it's clogged up the drain tube. He reaches in the drawer and starts taking out five rather large hypodermic needles. (now, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but anytime a man is talking about the boys and needles in the same sentence; your mind goes a little numb)

As he's walking towards me with these needles, out of my mouth I hear me say, "Give me two of those and I'll help." He chuckles and tells me that he appreciates the offer, but a tech is coming in to help. So, I'm thinking some other guy is going to come in and I'm going to have a story to tell about how I once let two men fondle my balls.

Nope. In walks this beautiful well-endowed creature with long wavy brunette hair and one of those v-neck doc shirts and bends over close to take a look and I can see down her shirt. She gets close enough that I can feel her warm breath on the boys. I think a little tear wells up in my eye at this point. She gently reaches down and cradles the boys for the doctor. Yes, there' a tear in my eye.

Now, I'm thinking - this is gonna FUCKIN hurt. But, I feel nothing as I watch him stick the needles in one by one. He drains the fluid and the tech again leans down to check out the drain. There is a God.

That ends Phase I.

The next morning, I wake up to the same FUCKIN enlarged gonads and do the same thing to get to the doctor. Same process. I go back to the exam table and am in anticipation as I wait on the lovely young specimen to cradle my gonads. Doctor walks in and goes to the drawer, grabs the needles and starts walking towards me. Oh man!!!!! she's not far behind.... I can feel her warm breath before she even arrives.

As I'm looking at the boys, the door opens and.... in walks this six foot 300 lb Samoan dude and the Doctor introduces him as the tech for the day. A tear wells up in my eye.



Man, i fucking love you, that story had me in tears from laughing, i dont care if it's true or not!

Thanks buddy! :)
To share some good news with you guys, catheter is out, urologist was very happy and so am i!

I've been to the toilet twice today afternoon because i had felt i needed to, and all went well. I may even be able to have an errection but that is only an unconfirmed rumour at this time, should it ever be acknowledged then that is classified information, so, there! :P
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

As I'm looking at the boys, the door opens and.... in walks this six foot 300 lb Samoan dude and the Doctor introduces him as the tech for the day. A tear wells up in my eye.



:D:D:D:D:D

<<>>


Don
"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
True story. It ends with one more episode in the middle of the night. Go to the hospital and the need for an emergency re-surgery the next morning. Doc couldn't make it till then so I was pumped full of morphine until the surgery the next day. And, I do mean pumped full of it.

Hence, my knowledge of morphine babies. ... and how gentle a 300 lb Samoan's hands can be. ;)

Get well, soon.
Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
normiss

This is how VB became the Man of Steel.
:)

OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
akarunway

***This is how VB became the Man of Steel.
:)

OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard.

Just had a chat with the copper that investigated; i am in for an "interview" the week after next. Federal prosecutor wants to know who's to blame insurancewise i guess. Copper took some over the counter painkillers that i have spare for when my back acts up. He asked my coworkers if i like to drink and what i've had for lunch and stuff. Nothing i've done wrong really i reckon. Meh..

On the upside, i got some good drugs from my family doctor this morning!
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
virgin-burner

little update; i THINK i went pretty much all day without too much of a noticeable limp.. but i havent left the house, so..

still, kinda proud about that! :)



Go back to work!:P
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
turtlespeed

***little update; i THINK i went pretty much all day without too much of a noticeable limp.. but i havent left the house, so..

still, kinda proud about that! :)



Go back to work!:P

fuck no, i wanted to have another holiday starting september, better make it so i dont have to use my vacay-days! :P
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
akarunway

***This is how VB became the Man of Steel.
:)

OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard.

Looks like poor poor housekeeping to me. B|

I hope VB can find some pictures of the crane company yard for his next meeting with the swiss copper. In the US if the employer can shift the blame to the employee for a accident the company is ahead of the game.
One Jump Wonder

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
virgin-burner

******little update; i THINK i went pretty much all day without too much of a noticeable limp.. but i havent left the house, so..

still, kinda proud about that! :)



Go back to work!:P

fuck no, i wanted to have another holiday starting september, better make it so i dont have to use my vacay-days! :P

I'm a gunna start call in you "Minnie"
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
airdvr

Although it pales in comparison I had some more reconstructive work done on my nose and am currently enjoying a nice percocet buzz. :P



Ugh!
I had rhinoplasty a few years ago to repair the damage from falling into concrete steps on an icy day.
I NEVER want surgery on that part of my body again!:S
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This is my third time for the same problem. Squamous cell.

Last summer they attempted to graph a piece of my earlobe in place of the excision. Graph took nicely but they didn't get clean margins. 6 weeks of daily radiation treatments. They built a mask and bolted my head to a plate so I couldn't move. Excellent exercise in warding off claustrophobia. [:/]

After all that they still couldn't kill the cells so off with my nostril and take a flap of skin from my cheek and sew it in. Kind of a mini facelift.

Today was just cosmetic to make me even more pretty than i already am. ;)

I know at altitude we get exposed to a different brand of Uv.
Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Krip

******This is how VB became the Man of Steel.
:)

OSHA loves recordables. Company get a fine? A drug test involved? I'm a OSHA certified rigger and that kinda shit wouldn't fly (no pun intended) in my yard.

Looks like poor poor housekeeping to me. B|

I hope VB can find some pictures of the crane company yard for his next meeting with the swiss copper. In the US if the employer can shift the blame to the employee for a accident the company is ahead of the game.

thank god i'm NOT in the US and we dont do any of that shit over here.. :|
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
virgin-burner

i was having a look over the MRI-pictures i got; very interesting.

i couldnt find anything that would lead me to believe otherwise! :P



The MRI won't be able to detect everuthing, like the psychological damage you , received as a result of your near death work related accident.B|:(

Having any nightmares, problems going to sleep, flash backs of your accident?. :(

Do you have intrusive thoughts about your accident, whenever you see a crane, construction site.? How do you feel about walking or sitting under a big chandelier, that can fall and hurt you.[:/]

Have you considered keeping a journal about your recovery, and feelings. Gone to any counseling sessions with a professional to discuss your feelings and concerns.

My god man, your a very lucky man your still in one piece. :)
Good luck.
One Jump Wonder

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Krip

***i was having a look over the MRI-pictures i got; very interesting.

i couldnt find anything that would lead me to believe otherwise! :P



The MRI won't be able to detect everuthing, like the psychological damage you , received as a result of your near death work related accident.B|:(

Having any nightmares, problems going to sleep, flash backs of your accident?. :(

Do you have intrusive thoughts about your accident, whenever you see a crane, construction site.? How do you feel about walking or sitting under a big chandelier, that can fall and hurt you.[:/]

Have you considered keeping a journal about your recovery, and feelings. Gone to any counseling sessions with a professional to discuss your feelings and concerns.

My god man, your a very lucky man your still in one piece. :)
Good luck.

i was having a couple problems at first, but it subsided pretty quickly.

the sexy-thing, well, for the moment it's still painful, uncomfortable, and may i say "difficult"? give me another month and i'll be back to my normal old self! :)
“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
normiss

NSFW
NSFW
NSFW

After seeing the pictures, please pass the morphine.
:D:D:D

It appears you were VERY lucky to not have any pelvic injuries!

..................................................................

Those photos look familiar! My "wedding tackle" looked like that six years ago. I had scheduled a vasectomy and circumcision barely a month after a plane crash.... no, I did schedule the plane crash. Since I was already grounded by a dis-located shoulder, etc. I decided to continue with the (already scheduled) groin surgery. It was amazing how much my "junk" swoll up and how long they took to heal! The healing process probably took longer because I was more than 50 years old and trying to heal every major muscle group at the same time.
The only saving grace was that I was already taking massive amounts of Tylenol 3 and not sleeping well, so I barely noticed the extra pain in my groin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0