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hcsvader

Idiot Wounds

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Idiot wounds

You know exactly what Im talking about.

Those amazing injuries that have a really boring story.

Im sitting here with a broken collar bone after falling off my bicycle on christmas eve. I was more than drunk and fell over and now I'm out for a couple of months.

Please help me feel better about myself by sharing your boring stories of idiocy.
Have you seen my pants?
it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream
>:)

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I broke a toe by stubbing it on the wall going into the bathroom in the middle of the night. Yes, the wall. there's that little protrusion for the door jamb, half asleep, dark, just wanna get it over pee and blam... little toe right into the jamb. You know that... its gonna hurt thought that runs thru your mind right before the jaw clenching pain of stupidity hits followed by the growl of "Motherfucker" while your teeth and fists are clenched.

Then pee, then tend foot, then take 3 year old leftover painkillers, then have to tape your toes in the morning and try to go to work walking as if nothings wrong except for those annoying people who have to ask what's wrong 30 times after you've told them nothing and are just trying to move away from them kinda idiocy... that work for ya?

:)

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

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I broke my toe this week on a shopping cart wheel. I was doing the proper thing and returning the cart to the corral, and the damn thing moved back toward me and attacked me! I should have left it in the parking lot like everyone else. There went wearing cute shoes at Christmas and New Year's. :(

That was my 11th broken bone. The other stories are just as pathetic.

Hope you heal quickly!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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I broke my left 2nd metatarsal (stress fracture) painting my bedroom, due to climbing on a step ladder to get to the upper bits. 18 months later, I broke my right 2nd metatarsal (stress fracture), on the same step ladder, painting the bathroom.

Talk about a boring way to break yourself. [:/]

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

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Yep!! Running (more like jumping) down stairs taking 3 or 4 at a time side on and slipped off the front edge of one step to land on the next on the outside of my foot with a straight leg and CRACK, arse over tit down the rest of the stairs to land in a bleeding heap at the bottom. Numb feeling in ankle with reasonable amounts of blood flowing. Had managed to snap the ligaments on the outside of my ankle and in doing so blew a hole about the size of my thumb knuckle where it snapped. Surgery followed by 6 days in hospital and a month on crutches. :S
It was such a lame way to hurt myself that I used to make up all sorts of stories as to how I ended up on crutches and my favorite story was to say I did it skydiving. This was way before I ever started jumping. :D

Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

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hcsvader



Please help me feel better about myself by sharing your boring stories of idiocy.



I rode an ambulance out of our dz xmas party a couple weeks ago for being a drunken idiot. Jumped off a balcony onto the dance floor. The landing didn't go so well. Apparently I can teach a PLF but didn't perform a proper one.

Knocked myself out for a good few minutes/concussion. Knocked one front tooth completely out, broke the one next to it. Cut above my right eye almost down to the bone took 7 stitches, another in my chin took 7 more, and my lower lip took a few as well. Also fractured the lower part of my right eye socket, left knee has fluid building in it, and right elbow is still a little sore. Mostly recovered now aside fronm the sore knee and some dental work... hopefully can at least do a h&p or two on New Year's Day without my eyeball or temp tooth falling out.

Doh... should have gone to my "real job" xmas party instead. B|:S:ph34r:

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Having survived an entire lifetime of fantastic adventures completely unscathed... cliff jumps, skydiving, human ballistic stunts, never once broke a bone. Possible broken tailbone once but never Xrayed to confirm. Walked it off.

Get out of work one early morning, exhausted. Old american AMC Eagle, 2 door hatch, big, heavy, long doors weigh about a half ton each. Swinging the door shut, slipped in the mud. Hand slipped off edge of door and slapped against edge of doorframe half a second before the door closed. Caught the end of my forefinger.

Made the mistake of reacting to it by yanking my hand back. Looked at what was left of the fingertip. The nail was ripped out by the root and flipped back over the finger, still firmly attached at the nailbed. Till then I never knew the fingernail actually goes all the way back to the knuckle. All the nail revealed was bone-white and the rest of the burst fingertip was so much ground meat. Doorframe had crushed the fingertip down to the size of the door gap, about 1/8 inch.

Went inside, couldn't bring myself to rip the nail off the nailbed, rinsed it off, wrapped the mess in a paper towel and some duct tape and went to sleep, too exhausted to deal with it.

Woke up, still bleeding, realized this needed a doctor. Turns out it also snapped the end off the fingerbone. They cut what was left of the nail off, stitched and wrapped it. Took about a year but the nail eventually did grow back.

A lifetime's perfect record of no bones broken ruined by mud and a car door. :S
-B

Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

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I have had 11 ortho surgeries and many broken bones not requiring surgery.
One of the silliest was trying to show up to my buddies brother's daughters who just got back from gymnastics. I was walking around on my hands and then went into a massive "Worm" that I used to get great air on. At the end as I approached the wall I tried to "dismount" by swinging my feet underneath me. The whole room heard a crack as I busted and displaced my Major Toe. I know it is just a toe put it put me on crutches for a little bit and almost had surgery as I was worried about the way it healed affecting backwards barefooting.

Turned out fine and the last time I backwards barefooted I went down and dislocated my shoulder severely causing all sorts of issues.(fractured Greater Tuberosity, Hill Sachs legion, torn labrum, slight tear to cuff, tendon and ligament damage.)
That spot isn't bad at all, the winds were strong and that was the issue! It was just on the downwind side.

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I wouldn't say that. The stepladder one was interesting AND informational.



Never underestimate the value of ladder safety. :$:ph34r:
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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skymama

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I wouldn't say that. The stepladder one was interesting AND informational.



Never underestimate the value of ladder safety. :$:ph34r:


Yeah, but how many injured skydivers in emergency rooms, in their zeal to protect their sport, blame their injuries on falling off a ladder? Lots. I think ladders get a bad rap.
"They got swimming pools and movie stars!"

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Walked down a ladder not facing it? Even if not it is amazing the amount of people that will take such a risk without even thinking about it until they fall forward. So worth mentioning. Lot's of stuff about ladders that are dangerous. Especially step ladders without proper footing. I have worked plenty on ladders and hauled serious weight up them and or extended away from them with saws or what not. But now days they sometimes scare the hell out of me. Panic scared a couple times this year. Widow makers.
That spot isn't bad at all, the winds were strong and that was the issue! It was just on the downwind side.

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JethroBodine

***

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I wouldn't say that. The stepladder one was interesting AND informational.



Never underestimate the value of ladder safety. :$:ph34r:


Yeah, but how many injured skydivers in emergency rooms, in their zeal to protect their sport, blame their injuries on falling off a ladder? Lots. I think ladders get a bad rap.

I never said I fell! :D

I was literally just stepping up and down it. :) If I had fallen, it would have at least been interesting. ;) I suggest wearing sturdy shoes to protect those fragile little bones in your feet.
lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

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JethroBodine

***

Quote


I wouldn't say that. The stepladder one was interesting AND informational.



Never underestimate the value of ladder safety. :$:ph34r:


Yeah, but how many injured skydivers in emergency rooms, in their zeal to protect their sport, blame their injuries on falling off a ladder? Lots. I think ladders get a bad rap.

Ladders are widow makers and I have spent much time on them, but I do agree with what your saying. I have falling off a bunch of roofs in the winter according to medical reports with various injuries. Except I really have never fell of a roof and got hurt. Nor have I skydiving though for that matter. 11 ortho surgeries and many non surgical broken bones yet skydiving has been by far the safest sport I have done despite my antics
That spot isn't bad at all, the winds were strong and that was the issue! It was just on the downwind side.

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Well, last year I took a bike spill, perfectly sober, the day before Thanksgiving and two days before moving from our old house to our new house. Broke my left collar bone and collapsed a lung, making staying in the hospital overnight a necessity. I talked my way out of there Thanksgiving night to make it home for a late dinner with about 20 guests. :D

The next day, still in a sling, I directed traffic while friends and family helped us move. Man, I felt like a slacker. :D

Five years ago, in my back yard, perfectly sober, I attempted to walk down the kids' slide on the big toy in the backyard. I slipped and fell on my right elbow, tearing my rotator cuff. Surgery and 8 months of rehab ensued before I was cleared to jump again.

Three years ago, I tore up my left rotator cuff. Christmas found me, once again, in a sling after surgery and 6 months rehab before I could jump again.

So . . . I've been in a sling for 3 of the last 6 Christmases. It was starting to be a habit. :D

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JohnMitchell

Well, last year I took a bike spill, perfectly sober, the day before Thanksgiving and two days before moving from our old house to our new house. Broke my left collar bone and collapsed a lung, making staying in the hospital overnight a necessity. I talked my way out of there Thanksgiving night to make it home for a late dinner with about 20 guests. :D

The next day, still in a sling, I directed traffic while friends and family helped us move. Man, I felt like a slacker. :D

Five years ago, in my back yard, perfectly sober, I attempted to walk down the kids' slide on the big toy in the backyard. I slipped and fell on my right elbow, tearing my rotator cuff. Surgery and 8 months of rehab ensued before I was cleared to jump again.

Three years ago, I tore up my left rotator cuff. Christmas found me, once again, in a sling after surgery and 6 months rehab before I could jump again.

So . . . I've been in a sling for 3 of the last 6 Christmases. It was starting to be a habit. :D



I found your problem!:D

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Walked down a ladder not facing it?



Not really. I was only on one of those 4' step ladders in my house, using it to reach things off a high shelf. I just needed one more thing, but couldn't get to it because a desk was in the way. So, I turned my body away from the ladder (big no-no), and had one foot on a step and one foot on the desk. When I hoisted myself on the foot that was on the desk just a few inches to reach the object, the ladder pushed out away from me. I fell onto the desk, which was painful enough, and then the ladder came back at me and smacked me in the face, resulting in the 4th time I broke my nose. :S

I am very wary of ladders. My grandpa actually died from a heart attack after he fell off a ladder.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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