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jono

Chuck Norris Turns 75 today

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Yep that's right!! And to celebrate................

- Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.

- He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, is definitely his last laugh.

- The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris's age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

- Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

- Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

- If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

- When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

- When Chuck Norris swims in the ocean, the sharks are in a steel cage.

- Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

- Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.

- Chuck Norris doesn't breathe air. He holds air hostage.

- Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.

- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

- Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.

- If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

- When Chuck Norris works out he doesn't get stronger, the machine does.

- Chuck Norris does not sleep; he waits.

:DB|
Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

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Chucks tears care a cure for cancer, but he never cries.

Chuck Norris has mastered the Concrete Rebound Hammer - by him self!
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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I wonder what Bruce Lee would say. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/1761174/postshttp://www.metacafe.com/watch/5455011/bruce_lee_fight_vs_chuck_norris/ I used to go to, I think now it's called Mann's theater on Hollywood Blvd. and watch all the BL movies. Early 70's.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

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jono

- If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.



that's a new one for me

If, by some weird space time paradox, Chuck Norris could travel in time and fight himself.....He'd win

If Chuck Norris is now 75, does that mean the universe is now just over 74 years old?

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

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akarunway

I wonder what Bruce Lee would say. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/1761174/postshttp://www.metacafe.com/watch/5455011/bruce_lee_fight_vs_chuck_norris/ I used to go to, I think now it's called Mann's theater on Hollywood Blvd. and watch all the BL movies. Early 70's.



thanks for those links

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

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Erroll

***If Chuck Norris is now 75, does that mean the universe is now just over 74 years old?



The other day Chuck Norris counted to infinity.

Twice.

On the seventh day, chuck said it was ok for God to rest.
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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turtlespeed

******If Chuck Norris is now 75, does that mean the universe is now just over 74 years old?



The other day Chuck Norris counted to infinity.

Twice.

On the seventh day, chuck said it was ok for God to rest.

Chuck Norris is the only person ever to land on runway 37.
"My belief is that once the doctor whacks you on the butt, all guarantees are off" Jerry Baumchen

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