Engagment Ring shopping

[jclalor 12]

I Want to propose to my GF, I'm very intimidated by mall jewelers but have heard some good thigs about Costco.

I'm thinking about spending around $5000. I would love to hear from anyone who has bought jewlery from Cosco.

Thanks

[RMK 3]

For a given budget, first decide on colour and clarity, then within your budget buy the largest size. Don’t just buy the biggest one found for your budget. Go for quality. Below some info on diamond grading:

http://www.gemologyonline.com/diamondgrading.html

When I bought over 16yrs ago, I did quite a lot of research. I also had the ability to travel to South Africa, Antwerp, NY if required. The end result is that I didn’t buy from a retailer at all. I found a diamond dealer and bought the stone “loose” and then he sent it to jeweller to have it set in a band (process just took a few days). I ended up paying about 45% of what full retail would have been. Living in London, diamond dealers may be more easily found than your area, but definitely worth looking into buying a loose stone form a dealer. You could easily get a near $10,000 diamond for your $5,000.

Ask for GIA certificate on the stone. Also note that "brilliant" cut (traditional cut) is both timeless and also give you the most "bang for your buck" as it reflects the most light back up through the stone. Whereas, some of the fancy cuts have higher "dropout" ratios.

* now I'll have to go post in a "how to change the oil in your truck" thread to get my manliness back.

"Pain is the best instructor, but no one wants to attend his classes"

[FlyingRhenquest 1]

Heh, buy her $100 ring and give her a skydiving rig!

I'm trying to teach myself how to set things on fire with my mind. Hey... is it hot in here?

[ryoder 1,382]

Just say "No" to the DeBeers marketing machine.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[mr2mk1g 10]

As RMK said - have one made. Find a good artisan jeweller and commission one. You'll get far more ring for your money, it will be unique and so much more personal than one picked out of a selection in a store.

"Oh it's beautiful, where ever did you find it"! "Darling, I had it made for you". As the line goes - she'd pretty much have to.

[GogglesnTeeth 6]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F4qzPbcFiA

Don't do it man.... it's a TRAP!

Goggles and Teeth

"You fall like a greased safe!!!"

[Glitch 0]

In line with that.... When my wifey and I got married, neither of us had a pot to piss in (never mind a window to throw it out of!). We scrounged up all of our unwanted and broken jewelry from close friends and family and wound up with enough to not only make both rings, but to also pay the jeweler. Her mom donated the rock from her marriage to my wife biological sperm donor (asshat abandoned them when she was 6...). End result was net zero cost for 2 rings and a rock I still couldn't easily pay for, but the rings mean much more to us than any OTS ring ever could.

Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born...

[Zep 0]

Better off putting the money in bonds so when the divorce comes you'll have some thing to fall back on.

Gone fishing

[yoink 321]

I had a really good experience with a similar budget from Blue Nile online.

I also did a lot of research before I bought anything.

I also went with the best cut, color and clarity I could get, and the smaller stone. Comparing it to my sister-in-laws (who's husband went for size over everything) and my wifes not only looks a million times better, but it looks bigger too.
I also deliberately splashed out for a platinum ring rather than a silver or gold one and saved a little on the stone - to me the extra heft makes the whole thing feel much more special.


For me, the fun thing about the Blue Nile stuff is that you can pick the stone and setting separately and that creates something that is completely yours. It's not just an over-the-counter one. You'll have a story to tell her about why you picked that stone, or that setting...

I did get the sizing of the ring wrong slightly - it was about half a size too big. They did a next day exchange for free. They also come with full GIA and GCAL reports which helps with insuring them. Absolutely no hassle.

Like RMK, I'd also recommend the round 'Signature' cut if you go from Blue Nile. Classic. Sparkly. Job done.
I ended up going for something like this: http://www.bluenile.com/build-your-own-ring/channel-diamond-engagement-ring-setting-platinum_337


For the cost - buy what you can afford. Don't get sucked into this 'it should be x months salary' thing. If you can afford 5K, cool, go for it. If you can afford 1K, do that. She'll love it anyway. If she asks why you didn't buy a bigger ring, then she's not the chick for you.


Oh, and congrats!

[PhreeZone 15]

Diamonds are not rare nor are they that valuable - DeBeers is just that good at marketing and holding a monopoly on the mines.

Don't spend that type of money on a ring. Look at the cost of the wedding and put some of the money towards that instead or even towards a house. I have been hearing from so many friends that they are dropping 25K+ on the wedding anymore - 7 years ago I flipped out about spending 14K for the wedding and the honeymoon.

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[SethInMI 145]

More votes for:

1. Getting a custom ring made. It does not even have to be a mind-blowingly original design, but you will able to say your rings are unique.
2. Buying a loose stone. I got mine through USAA, but I don't think they do that anymore (and you have to be a member anyway).

It's flare not flair, brakes not breaks, bridle not bridal, "could NOT care less" not "could care less".

[yoink 321]

Couldn't agree more about the wedding.


We had a courthouse ceremony and open bar for a few hours for only about 20 people. None of this 'you should invite your great aunt Matilda and her 3 children who you've never seen' and end up paying for 300 people you don't give a shit about nonsense.

Total tab was less than $1,500.

We spent the cash we saved on a really nice Honeymoon and a deposit for a house.


(Don't get me started on people who ask for cash donations for wedding gifts... Tacky as hell. Probably shouldn't have planned a wedding and honeymoon you can't afford, eh? )

[BillyVance 34]

yoink

(Don't get me started on people who ask for cash donations for wedding gifts... Tacky as hell. Probably shouldn't have planned a wedding and honeymoon you can't afford, eh? )

Agreed. My wedding was in my front yard under the 100+ year old water oak tree in front of 100 guests. Total cost for rentals, catering crew, food and cakes, etc was about $1300.

We recently bought a new wedding band set off Amazon. Made of Tungsten... heavy metal, but there are some beautiful etching patterns, and the set cost us $40. I have had a couple people think they cost $3000

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[wmw999 2,121]

If your fiancée uses her hands a lot, I'd suggest something low profile. That way it won't spend a lot of time in a box being protected. And yes, for Pete's sake don't overdo the wedding. It's the marriage that counts, not the wedding.

Wendy P.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[BIGUN 1,053]

You don't spend $5,000 on an engagement ring.... stay around $1,200

That'll leave you another $3,500 dollar for the wedding band.

If you can get the whole set for 5K and give her the engagement ring... and then the wedding band when the day happens.

Good Luck

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[JohnnyMarko 1]

I would kill my boyfriend if he bought me a $5000 ring.

That being said, if you have the money go for it.

[BigMikeH77 0]

jclalor

I Want to propose to my GF, I'm very intimidated by mall jewelers but have heard some good thigs about Costco.

I'm thinking about spending around $5000. I would love to hear from anyone who has bought jewlery from Cosco.

Thanks

FWIW, I say don't do it. There are alternatives and you'll both most likely be better off if you were to explore those options. Then again, I'm a jaded and bitter person who's been chewed up and spit out more times than a man should allow. But if you absolutely must, here is some insight from an article in the Huff Post along with a link. Good luck no matter what your decision

Men who spent $2,000 to $4,000 on engagement rings were 1.3 times more likely to end up divorced than men who spent $500 to $2,000. Women who received expensive engagement rings also experienced higher rates of divorce.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/03/expensive-weddings-study_n_5929056.html

[BillyVance 34]

This is the set I got for my wife and myself last December to replace the original bands that got lost/misplaced. Honors my Scottish heritage. Only cost me $40, but the original retail price is like $350.

Tungsten Carbide rings are cool. There's something for everyone, even Elvish scripts...

Only thing you don't want to do is drop them on concrete or tile. They shatter.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Remster 24]

ryoder

Just say "No" to the DeBeers marketing machine.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

And: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU

Remster

[yoink 321]

Remster

***Just say "No" to the DeBeers marketing machine.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/

And: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5kWu1ifBGU

I agree. Diamonds are intrinsically worthless. Much like money.

But much like money they have a perceived value, and that's what you're paying for. That the perceived value came from an ad campaign makes no difference to the outcome.

For a recent example - Beats headphones sell for $199+. The intrisic value of them is less than $20. https://medium.com/bolt-blog/how-it-s-made-series-beats-by-dre-154aae384b36. Same of pretty much any product by Apple, really.

It's a reality of the world we live in. To say diamonds are worthless is a shallow view of the picture.

[NWFlyer 2]

I notice almost all the responses here are from men (and, for the record, I'm a woman who agrees with the "don't do it" argument re: diamonds).

But what matters is your girlfriend's tastes and what's important to her. Hollywood has convinced us that the dramatic surprise proposal is required, and DeBeers has convinced us that only a big shiny rock will do. Your girlfriend may well be someone who has bought into both of those things, or she may be someone who values one but would smack you upside the head if you did the other, or she may be one who values neither and would prefer a straight up discussion of your future and whether that includes marriage. She may be pro- or anti-diamond, and that's important to know.

Hopefully you know her well enough to know where she stands on all those things before you go out and drop 5 grand on a rock.

If you do want to do the romantical surprise proposal, I'd personally recommend getting something that can be a placeholder rather than trying to guess her personal style. As Wendy noted, that can be very personal and may vary based on her lifestyle but also her personal style. If you get a placeholder ring (and it could be something really goofy like a plastic toy ring, to make it super obvious it's not intended to be the real thing), then you can find something together that's to her liking. Yeah, it means you'll have to have a straight-up conversation about your budget, but you'll probably learn a lot about what's important to each of you in that single conversation.

(All that said, sorry, no experience whatsoever buying jewelry at Costco as I'm not a jewelry person in general, but overall, I've been a very happy Costco shopper for every type of purchase I've made there from electronics to oversized muffins to travel to insurance).

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[jumpwally 0]

Don't do it....

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[ryoder 1,382]

yoink

I agree. Diamonds are intrinsically worthless. Much like money.

$5000 of fiat currency can be exchanged for $5000 worth of any other goods or services.
Try exchanging a $5000 ring for something of equal value.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Phillbo 11]

After being together for 26 years my GF and i were married last Friday. We did the courthouse thing and then announced it to friends and family at a pool party we had scheduled for Saturday.

She's a hairstylist so Wendy's comment was to the point. the ring i bought her is called a 'channel style'. The 5 diamonds are laid in a channel and flush with the band. No snag risk while working.

Her ring - local jeweler $2700.00
My band- COSTCO $350.00

[RMK 3]

yoink

I did get the sizing of the ring wrong slightly

So did I. I had no idea that ring sizes are different for left/right hands. I sneaked one of my wife's rings (right hand) out of the house as a size guide; only to ultimately find out it was larger than her left hand - so engagement ring was too large and had to be resized.

"Pain is the best instructor, but no one wants to attend his classes"