Nataly 38 #1 September 22, 2015 Apart from all of it... It's so dehumanising. Seriously. I just blacklist people for the most random things... Oh - that guy is wearing a hat in one of his pics... Who wears a hat??? What a pretentious douche. Blacklist that motherfucker ASAP. Litterally. I would NEVER behave that way toward a person who was actually standing in front of me. I'd probably find the hat charming. *sigh*"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 558 #2 September 22, 2015 On-line dating requires learning a whole new vocabulary. For example: " a few extra pounds" means "a few more pounds than the guy she hopes to date .... a few more than 200 pounds ... few women are healthy at over 200 pounds." "Professional" just means that you are employed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyMarko 1 #3 September 22, 2015 Not saying it doesn't work, but everyone I know personally has not had luck meeting someone online. I think all the happy-looking couples they put in their TV ads and statistics they throw at people kind are filling people with false hope. Good luck, us men aren't all bad. Us good ones are just dating other guys Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #4 September 22, 2015 JohnnyMarko Good luck, us men aren't all bad. Us good ones are just dating other guys I really do believe that past a certain age, MOST of the good ones are taken already... But I suppose the same is true about women... "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
format 0 #5 September 22, 2015 Well, some women.. and men are way оut of most people's league, especially those past certain age. There are "second hand" ladies and men that beat the younger imho Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #6 September 22, 2015 formatWell, some women.. and men are way оut of most people's league, especially those past certain age. There are "second hand" ladies and men that beat the younger imho Whilst I very much agree with you... If you got a good thing going, you hold on to it... Is all I'm sayin'... Doesn't mean all the great guys are paired up with all the great gals... And doesn't mean there are no good ones left. But yeah... It does seem to get harder with time. And it's not like I think I am this AMAZING person and deserve someone equally as AMAZING... But there is less selection, it seems, and therefore seems less likely I will find someone on the right level of compatibility."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
format 0 #7 September 22, 2015 I see you know what you're talking about. My appearance+mindset+status is not compatible with what is available. We know it, so we'll change some of it and get into different. Good luck to us Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
topdocker 0 #8 September 22, 2015 Why is it that most of the women want a guy who is 5'10" or taller? Was there some article in Cosmo that said guys have to be at least this tall to ride the ride? I realize that at 5'8" some women would not want a guy that is shorter than them, but when I consistently see women who are barely five foot also putting that as a minimum height, I have to begin to wonder. topJump more, post less! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #9 September 22, 2015 topdocker Why is it that most of the women want a guy who is 5'10" or taller? Was there some article in Cosmo that said guys have to be at least this tall to ride the ride? I realize that at 5'8" some women would not want a guy that is shorter than them, but when I consistently see women who are barely five foot also putting that as a minimum height, I have to begin to wonder. top So they can wear their 8 inch heels, duh. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #10 September 22, 2015 format I see you know what you're talking about. My appearance+mindset+status is not compatible with what is available. We know it, so we'll change some of it and get into different. Good luck to us Sort of... I mean, I don't want any set of specific things... But some things, to me, are important. Like for instance, it's bad if the person doesn't let you be you. It's good if the person does. And it's AWESOME if they actually encourage/inspire you to become even more you - like a better version of who you are already. If the guy doesn't agree with me on everything, that's fine - it's even a good thing, because it pushes me to view things from a different perspective. But I really don't want to settle for someone who is SO different in their mindset that I can just *barely* tolerate them when they speak... That is not the goal... I don't kmow... I guess to sum up, I want things to be *better* with this person than on my own. And I'm pretty content on my own, so it kinda seems like a tall order!!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TEB6363 0 #11 September 22, 2015 Top, I may be wrong, but I don't really think it is the height difference between 5'8" and 5'10".. I think it is more of the, "have to be at least this tall to ride the ride" line of thinking...It may also just be me, but as I get older I seem to meet more and more Great Older people out there.. They look different than the "fresh new ones" but are often a joy to be around.. Say - like talking to them...And, this is not with regards to dating per say... Once the plane takes off, you're gonna have to land - Might as well jump out!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #12 September 22, 2015 TEB6363 It may also just be me, but as I get older I seem to meet more and more Great Older people out there.. They look different than the "fresh new ones" but are often a joy to be around.. Say - like talking to them... I could not agree with you more."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #13 September 22, 2015 topdocker Why is it that most of the women want a guy who is 5'10" or taller? Was there some article in Cosmo that said guys have to be at least this tall to ride the ride? I realize that at 5'8" some women would not want a guy that is shorter than them, but when I consistently see women who are barely five foot also putting that as a minimum height, I have to begin to wonder. top Not all hot women insist on a tall guy. Image of lucky bastard attached."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,119 #14 September 22, 2015 Online dating is kind of like how people do job hunting/selection these days. The pool is increased so much that realistic and individual evaluation of the candidates is impossible. So you resort to just weeding out the no-gos, and then there are still so many left over that you have to resort to ridiculous criteria. Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #15 September 22, 2015 wmw999Online dating is kind of like how people do job hunting/selection these days. The pool is increased so much that realistic and individual evaluation of the candidates is impossible. So you resort to just weeding out the no-gos, and then there are still so many left over that you have to resort to ridiculous criteria. Wendy P. And you still don't end up finding the right person half the time. (I say this as someone who's been a hiring manager more recently and more frequently than I've been in the dating pool!)"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yoink 321 #16 September 23, 2015 Just so you know, I met my wife through online dating. She was my 2nd date and I was her first and we dated for 4 years before getting married a year and a half ago. It can work. What we both realised is that it greatly depends on which dating service you go with. Friends who go with free services generally have much less luck than those who use a paid service. Equally, not all paid services tend to cater to equal demographics. You might have much better luck in one than another. As you've also figured out it's important to keep control of yourself. Don't be more of an asshole just because it's online, or super-picky because you've got several contacts in a day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ghost47 18 #17 September 23, 2015 QuoteIt's so dehumanising. Seriously. I just blacklist people for the most random things... Oh - that guy is wearing a hat in one of his pics... Who wears a hat??? What a pretentious douche. Blacklist that motherfucker ASAP. Litterally. I would NEVER behave that way toward a person who was actually standing in front of me. I'd probably find the hat charming. So, then, if you realize you blacklist people for the most random things, why don't you stop doing it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #18 September 23, 2015 ghost47 So, then, if you realize you blacklist people for the most random things, why don't you stop doing it? Admitting it is the first step, isn't it? "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #19 September 23, 2015 You could come to the weekly meeting of the Nataly Stalkers Club. You might meet someone interesting. "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #20 September 23, 2015 ryoder You could come to the weekly meeting of the Nataly Stalkers Club. You might meet someone interesting. Dear lord, the meetings are weekly?? Nothing happens to me in 1 week!! Surely bi-annual meetings are enough to suss out whether I am still living in froggy-land or not and how many cats now own me..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RiggerLee 61 #21 September 23, 2015 I think this is the fundamental downfall of on line dating. A person can generally make a decision faced with three options. But as the number grow the ability to make a choice declines. With almost unlimited, infinite options people find it difficult to make a choice. Their will always be some one else out there. Some one taller, some one handsomer, With a better job, pick any criteria you want. With a hundred messages a day the grass will always be better on the other side of the fence. If a reasonable attractive woman post a profile on one of these site, she can have a date and a free dinner every night for the rest of her life with out ever having to to go on a second date. The fact that the people I know who found relation ships on line are those who did so rather quickly bears this out. Picked from the first few before she was forced to wade through hundreds if not thousands of messages and profiles. Theirs some thing else. It seems to me that as time goes on, people who have not settled down, tend to have a harder time doing so. i think part of it is that as you live on your own you learn to be happy on your own. Their is less pressure as the myth that you have to have some one in your life to be happy fades. It may be that as they become less desperate their standards rise. If they are happy on their own then their is no need to tolerate things that they might once have been willing to forgive. Till you are stuck demanding a level of perfection that no one is libel to be able to live up to. I remember a movie. Basically it was about a guy who died and went to heaven. There he met and fell in love with a soul who had not yet been born. He followed her down to earth but god warned him that if he didn't find her with in so many years that he would never meet her or be happy. I have a theory that it's kind of like that. That their is a window, a time in our lives during which these things are possible. The farther out side of that window you are the harder all of this becomes till it reaches a point that it's just too late. LeeLee [email protected] www.velocitysportswear.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #22 September 23, 2015 NatalyApart from all of it... It's so dehumanising. Seriously. I just blacklist people for the most random things... Oh - that guy is wearing a hat in one of his pics... Who wears a hat??? What a pretentious douche. Blacklist that motherfucker ASAP. Litterally. I would NEVER behave that way toward a person who was actually standing in front of me. I'd probably find the hat charming. *sigh* That sounds more about you than "online dating"You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #23 September 23, 2015 I can relate to some of that. In terms of the window of opportunity, I do think there was one guy in my past I should have tried harder to keep... I do think I am happier now than I ever have been, so I'm not very keen to mess that up. (!) However the grass is always greener is not something I personally feel... More like the grass seems like it's brown everywhere... You can try to pick a lawn and water it and *maybe* it will turn out to be green (ish)."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #24 September 23, 2015 Squeak***Apart from all of it... It's so dehumanising. Seriously. I just blacklist people for the most random things... Oh - that guy is wearing a hat in one of his pics... Who wears a hat??? What a pretentious douche. Blacklist that motherfucker ASAP. Litterally. I would NEVER behave that way toward a person who was actually standing in front of me. I'd probably find the hat charming. *sigh* That sounds more about you than "online dating" You have litterally just proven my point. The online thing is dehumanising. I doubt you'd behave in real life to me the way you do on here."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RiggerLee 61 #25 September 23, 2015 Well, one thing that I have noticed in observing relationships. A good relationship may be wonderful. But a bad one is always hell. You can be perfectly happy on your own, but you can never be happy in a bad relationship. I see a lot of people that settle for bad relationships because they are afraid to be alone. I also see people that are miserable in bad relationship that just sit their and suffer for fear of ending it and being alone. Don't really get it. But if you are happy then don't feel you have to do any thing that might undermine that. LeeLee [email protected] www.velocitysportswear.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites