Skydiving as a parent

[vamospeligro 1]

Hey guys. As of three weeks ago, I'm a new parent to an awesome little boy. Long before my wife and I had a child, we talked about never giving up the things we enjoy doing the most (motorbikes, flying, snowboarding, skydiving, etc). She totally supports me skydiving, but now I'm getting a lot of shit from other family members. The age old argument, "it's not just about you" or "you have other responsibilities now...". Do any of you have the same issue, and if so, how do you help quell the discussion.

many thanks.

[BillyVance 34]

It's always a sticky issue when it comes to family members criticizing your choices.

But consider this... you are just as likely to die driving to work, or to the store, or get hit by lightning, or whatever, as you are of dying in a skydiving incident. If you maintain your gear meticulously, cross all your "t"s and dot all your "i"s in all your preparation for each jump and keep things simple, chances are very very tiny that something bad will happen, like 1 in a million. It's true that every jump is a risk. But you'd be surprised at how many other things in your life is a risk. Drinking, smoking, driving, riding your bike, etc... flying... there's a risk in everything you do. You could even slip getting out of the bathtub and whack your head hard enough and die.

You and your SO have to make the decisions together on what's worth the risk, being parents. Nobody else.

Personally, I'd keep my jumps simple. No big way events, no swooping. Just get back on the ground in the safest way possible. Jump with people you know and trust. I know other people would disagree with me on this part but: I don't think it's reasonable to continue BASE jumping when you become a parent. The level of risk is just much higher of something bad happening because the margin of error is almost nil. Of course it depends on the type of BASE jump and the height. Just make sure you leave a reasonable amount of margin for error, otherwise its not worth the risk of a baby/toddler/young kid losing their parent. YMMV

ETA: when the kid gets old enough to the point where he/she can take care of themselves reasonably well, or absorb the loss of their parent, then I have no problem going back to the riskier activities without the margin for error. Again, YMMV

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[gowlerk 1,904]

I never had this grief. On the other hand, my wife had a co-worker ask "Oh, you skydive? How do you reconcile that with being a mother?" I think she told her to fuck off and mind her own business. That's what I would do if I were you.

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[virgin-burner 1]

i dont think BASEjumping is much riskier IF you keep within your limits. it CAN be done a safe sport!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[oldwomanc6 38]

How's your life insurance? Disability insurance? Health insurance? It ISN'T just you any more. You have certain obligations now to other persons.

Which is not to say I think that you shouldn't jump, just don't leave those who depend on you in the lurch, should something happen. Both Mr.owc6 and I jumped after having children, but we made sure they were covered, both financially, and with willing guardians.

My first paragraph applies to all parents, regardless of activities, IMO. Anyone can die or be disabled at any time.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[BinkyBunny 0]

If anyone questions your judgement, just say: "Oh it's okay, I put in my will that YOU are to be my children's adoptive parents."

Or you could try; "Do you realize that 35,000 people die in car accidents every year? How do you reconcile that with being a parent?"

[colossus 0]

My $0.02?

I am a divorced dad of 3 kids. I have been jumping for all of their lives, and for me, it is a MAJOR part of my life. I have ensured that my children will be taken care of by either their mom, or by my family members.

Why am I choosing to continue to jump? I have chosen to live, and live life to the fullest. I could choose to try to avoid risk to avoid death, but I have chosen to accept that something may one day happen, but to make sure that I live through the memories others hold. I am going to die one day. My job is to get my children ready for that day.

Now, have I chosen that stance carefully. I have thought about it for years. I am at a point in my life where I am rejecting negative energy, and consciously choosing the responses to the stimuli that I am presented.

My advice to you: Think carefully of the impact you want to have on others. Concentrate on that, and ensure it is the most positive as possible.

[JohnMitchell 14]

Make sure your life insurance pays off if you bounce skydiving. Some policies do, some don't.

Try to be safe-ish in your equipment choices. No double-digit canopies. Use an AAD, use an RSL.

Remember that those kids will grow up and move on some day. Make sure you have a life of your own.


My wife and I both jumped while raising 4 kids. They all turned out fine.

[piisfish 135]

just have a second baby, and then you'll find out you don't have the time anymore
Congrats by the way.

scissors beat paper, paper beat rock, rock beat wingsuit - KarlM

[oldwomanc6 38]

piisfish

just have a second baby, and then you'll find out you don't have the time anymore
Congrats by the way.

It's true, for some weird reason, the second child changed everything.


Mostly due to logistics. Two kids are infinitely more complicated to deal with than one.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[Divalent 89]

oldwomanc6

How's your life insurance? Disability insurance? Health insurance? It ISN'T just you any more. You have certain obligations now to other persons.

...

My first paragraph applies to all parents, regardless of activities, IMO. Anyone can die or be disabled at any time.

QFT. (And also John Mitchells advice)

[NewGuy2005 51]

oldwomanc6

***just have a second baby, and then you'll find out you don't have the time anymore
Congrats by the way.

It's true, for some weird reason, the second child changed everything.


Mostly due to logistics. Two kids are infinitely more complicated to deal with than one.

Try having both (your first two) at the same time. That will rearrange a few priorities.

[turtlespeed 212]

NewGuy2005

******just have a second baby, and then you'll find out you don't have the time anymore
Congrats by the way.

It's true, for some weird reason, the second child changed everything.


Mostly due to logistics. Two kids are infinitely more complicated to deal with than one.

Try having both (your first two) at the same time. That will rearrange a few priorities.

I think the logistics problems increase proportionally in orders of magnitude.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[TriGirl 268]

All of these replies have been about the "what if" injury/death scenario. Perhaps your relatives are talking about money? Or time?

From what I've seen and heard, small kids make great packing weights. Older kids make great packers. So, you can still spend your weekends together as a family at the DZ. "Hours of fun for the whole family!"

See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus

Shut Up & Jump!

[DanG 1]

Do what you want, but remeber that this is totally false:

Quote

But consider this... you are just as likely to die driving to work, or to the store, or get hit by lightning, or whatever, as you are of dying in a skydiving incident.

- Dan G

[gowlerk 1,904]

DanG

Do what you want, but remeber that this is totally false:

Quote

But consider this... you are just as likely to die driving to work, or to the store, or get hit by lightning, or whatever, as you are of dying in a skydiving incident.

I'm not wanting to open the age old debate about how safe or unsafe jumping is. But I will note that we will all die. Almost all skydivers will die of something not related to skydiving.

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[DanG 1]

Absolutely. But if you're placating your fears by telling yourself skydiving isn't dangerous, then you're lying to yourself. Statistically, skydiving lessens your life expectancy. Period.

I have no problem with people doing whatever they want, I just think they should do so with open eyes.

- Dan G

[gowlerk 1,904]

DanG

Absolutely. But if you're placating your fears by telling yourself skydiving isn't dangerous, then you're lying to yourself. Statistically, skydiving lessens your life expectancy. Period.

I have no problem with people doing whatever they want, I just think they should do so with open eyes.

I fully agree with you. And I've told many people the same. But it's also easy to exaggerate the risk.

Always remember the brave children who died defending your right to bear arms. Freedom is not free.

[vamospeligro 1]

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. It is much appreciated. I'm under no illusion that skydiving is 100% safe and typically err on the side of caution/conservatism with anything I get involved with.

I can't placate my fears by lying to myself, I can only do all I can to mitigate the risk. I recently bought my first rig to avoid being able to downsize on rental gear. I figure I can't afford to by a new system regularly so I'm stuck with a lightly loaded canopy for a few years. That's fine, coming down slow gives me more time to enjoy the beautiful view :) I'm not in any rush to get into wingsuiting (although tracking suits do have some appeal), big ways, have zero interest in swooping (no offense to swoopers), and couldn't give a shit less about wearing a gopro or doing anything else that adds unnecessary complexity to a jump. I pull high, call it a day when the winds/Perris dust devils pick up, and practice my EPs incessantly.

That said, despite my best efforts to focus and be safe, shit can happen and does. Arrangements have already been made should my wife, myself, or both pass. And yes, life insurance with a skydive rider is on deck.

Despite the obvious risks, I think actively pursuing the activities that make life worth living is one of the best ways I can influence my son to get the most from his own life. I've know too many young people that died before they had a chance to really enjoy life, and too many old people that, despite having the opportunity, squandered it.

Learning to fly airplanes taught me to be conservative. Learning to fly helicopters taught me to always look for a way out. Riding a motorcycle taught me to be endlessly defensive and hyper-aware. As long as I'm jumping, I'll likely be the high-pulling, obsessive gear checking, calculated risk taker.

vp

[wolfriverjoe 1,340]

vamospeligro

...Despite the obvious risks, I think actively pursuing the activities that make life worth living is one of the best ways I can influence my son to get the most from his own life. I've know too many young people that died before they had a chance to really enjoy life, and too many old people that, despite having the opportunity, squandered it...

That's it. Life is risk. To go through life simply avoiding or minimizing all risk is to not really live.

Learning risk management, respecting the dangers that are present everywhere, understanding that nothing is guaranteed, all that, allows one to actually live their life.

You get it. The ones telling you that you should quit don't.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[AlanS 1]

JohnMitchell

Make sure your life insurance pays off if you bounce skydiving. Some policies do, some don't.

This might be worth it's own thread. How can you tell if you life insurance will pay off if you bounce?

Should I call the insurance provider and just ask? Is there something to look for in the contract? Does someone have a list of life insurance companies that do and don't pay if you die skydiving?

[JohnMitchell 14]

Check your policy for exclusions on certain activities, such as flying on non-scheduled or non-commercial flights.

My former govt. life insurance and my current commercial life insurance have no such exclusions, but I made sure to check.