Workplace bullying?

[nigel99 143]

Anyone had experience with workplace bullying?

Don't want to go into specifics but my boss is a bully and I've just started to keep a log. I've painted a target on my back by speaking up on others behalf and now for the first time in my life have received a verbal warning for being 'glass half empty personality'.

Job market for my skills are limited, and if I had the opportunity I would quit in a heartbeat, but it isn't really an option right now.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[strife 0]

Nigel how big is the organisation you work for, one of the guys I currently manage was probably in the same boat as you, speaks up for others and comes off unfortunately negative, its definitely hurt his career and mud sticks

[nigel99 143]

strife

Nigel how big is the organisation you work for, one of the guys I currently manage was probably in the same boat as you, speaks up for others and comes off unfortunately negative, its definitely hurt his career and mud sticks

Company is about 200 people, but about 40 under this manager.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[jimjumper 25]

When I was in the military we had a guy who would pick a subordinate that was weak and use him as an excuse every time there was a problem. The guy was amazingly effective at making it look like everything was the junior members fault and then making himself look good by supposedly fixing the problem! Make sure you document everything but don't be surprised if you still get blamed!

[BIGUN 1,051]

Being the self-appointed bully slayer in the workplace is a lose-lose very rarely won scenario for several reasons.

You never know what relationships this person has with either highest levels of management or a specific customer that may be more valuable than you.

Once you place a target on their back; the rest of management will paint one on yours.

Glad to hear you're building a log, but make sure it's not just a "you" log, but the voice of others at your level.

If possible - get video logs also.

In the end, you better have an exit plan, cause once you turn in that log to or over HR's head - you're labeled.

If you have to exit; make sure to have an attorney present or formalize a letter as to why you left along with your log.

That way, while it may still mean you'll have to leave; perhaps you'll make it better for those left behind.

I wish you luck on this one.

Keep us posted.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[theonlyski 3]

I am currently playing this game, which has been on-going for the last 2 years or so, with different people targeting me.

At the end of the day, you can go to HR about it but if they won't do anything and your leadership won't either, it's no place you want to be. If you're not looking for better employment by now, you should be.

I am in a local government position, one that's damn near impossible to get fired from, so I have fun with the idiots that keep trying to throw their weight around with me. If they'd just do their job and leave me to mine, we would have no issues.

The amount of fun I have with it I believe has contributed greatly to the reduction in number of people and frequency of the attacks on me and my work.

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[Nataly 38]

I will not get into details but I have extentive experience in working with a workplace bully. I'm not sure I'm in a good position to give any advice whatsoever but I will say this: my thoughts are with you - I feel your pain...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[riggerrob 558]

I feel your pain brother.
Some work places eat their young.
Continue scribbling in your logbook.
Start looking for another job.
At your new job, refuse to discuss bullying at your previous job, because discussing it will only prolong the agony.

[jclalor 12]

BIGUN

Being the self-appointed bully slayer in the workplace is a lose-lose very rarely won scenario for several reasons.

You never know what relationships this person has with either highest levels of management or a specific customer that may be more valuable than you.

Once you place a target on their back; the rest of management will paint one on yours.

Glad to hear you're building a log, but make sure it's not just a "you" log, but the voice of others at your level.

If possible - get video logs also.

In the end, you better have an exit plan, cause once you turn in that log to or over HR's head - you're labeled.

If you have to exit; make sure to have an attorney present or formalize a letter as to why you left along with your log.

That way, while it may still mean you'll have to leave; perhaps you'll make it better for those left behind.

I wish you luck on this one.

Keep us posted.

What exactly do you mean by "video log"?

[nigel99 143]

Well things should get interesting over the next month. In the last weekly report one of the senior engineers from a different team raised an issue over mental health and stress within the workplace and requested that action was taken to resolve the issue.

Gave me an opportunity to discuss the issue with our health and safety manager and there have been numerous stress related issues brought to their attention recently - all of them from departments under this one manager. Due to the phrasing of the stress complaint I was able to discretely mention that these levels of stress are often accompanied by bullying and that they should bear that in mind when looking to resolve the issue.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[wolfriverjoe 1,340]

jclalor

***
...If possible - get video logs also...

What exactly do you mean by "video log"?

Lots of places have security cameras.

I've been to offices where the cameras cover just about everything "open".
That is, the entire cube farm. Not bathrooms, not offices with doors, but all the hallways, conference rooms, breakrooms, ect.

Most places archive that footage.

Access to that archived footage can be anything from wide open to "you need a warrant."

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[BIGUN 1,051]

jclalor

***
Being the self-appointed bully slayer in the workplace is a lose-lose very rarely won scenario for several reasons.

You never know what relationships this person has with either highest levels of management or a specific customer that may be more valuable than you.

Once you place a target on their back; the rest of management will paint one on yours.

Glad to hear you're building a log, but make sure it's not just a "you" log, but the voice of others at your level.

If possible - get video logs also.

In the end, you better have an exit plan, cause once you turn in that log to or over HR's head - you're labeled.

If you have to exit; make sure to have an attorney present or formalize a letter as to why you left along with your log.

That way, while it may still mean you'll have to leave; perhaps you'll make it better for those left behind.

I wish you luck on this one.

Keep us posted.

What exactly do you mean by "video log"?

And/Or - turn on the video on your phone each and every time that person approaches you.
File\Save as... day date time

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[zoobrothertom 5]

nigel99

Anyone had experience with workplace bullying?

Don't want to go into specifics but my boss is a bully and I've just started to keep a log. I've painted a target on my back by speaking up on others behalf and now for the first time in my life have received a verbal warning for being 'glass half empty personality'.

Job market for my skills are limited, and if I had the opportunity I would quit in a heartbeat, but it isn't really an option right now.

"Invoke the Social Contract."

There is a set of unwritten rules that govern each society/culture. When someone makes a habit of breaking the rules, make it loud and noisy on the spot.

The way I have dealt with bullies is to call them to the carpet in front of as many coworkers as happen to be within hearing distance when they misbehave. It sets them straight and you have a dozen(s) witnesses to attest to their "ASSHOLENESS."

I worked with such an asshole when I was fresh out of the military. He was a retired air farce LTC (O-5) and I was a medically retired army airborne SSG (E-6). We worked for a subcontractor to the local community college who managed their aviation maintenance school (A&P). He was the boss and I was the assistant director with more (and relevant) college degrees. This guy really resented the fact that I knew aircraft inside and out while his degree was in political science.

How dare an enlisted man be next in line for his position!

For fun, let's call him Bob. Oh, wait! That was his name. Let's call him Fred instead. (Fred's another asshole I knew in Korea. He deserves his own thread on social improprieties as well.)

Here's how it's done properly.

After weeks of putting up with his shit, I nailed him to the wall in front of about 6 employees one morning. I greeted him with a friendly, "Good morning, Bob." as he walked in the door. He just grunted and blew me off without even a glance in my direction. I raised my voice and called out, "Hey, Bob! Who pissed in your
Wheaties this morning. I said "Good morning, Bob!"

The effect was stunning! He turned to yell at me and then realized everyone in the office was looking right at him. He said to get in his office right now. I smiled and told him the only place this conversation was going was to the HR Director's office or the company president's if he wanted to talk to me about his continuous rude behavior.

Have fun!

(Edited to add - Damn! I haven't put that many commas and quotes together in a long time.)

____________________________________
I'm back in the USA!!

[BillyVance 34]

Awesome way to deal with that bully.

I've had my issues with workplace bullies, especially this assistant manager. From 2000 to 2005 I worked at a large pipe manufacturing plant in customer service, and got mentally beat down the last couple years by this prick. I wish I would have transferred to a different dept or found another job instead of languishing there hating my job until I was let go, but when that day of reckoning came, I didn't hold back in a meeting with the prick's manager. I gathered my stuff and left.

The next morning I get 8 emails or so from co-workers asking me what the hell happened. I responded to all. A week later they told me the prick got demoted out of his cushy corner office and given a cubicle in with the rest of his former minions. Apparently all of my coworkers felt like a lid blew off their shoulders when I told them I had told off the manager, because they all took their turns telling her off too.

And last but not least, the prick has, or at that time, had a candy red Porsche 911 convertible with a license plate "PIPEMAN", just to give you an idea of his assholery. Well it wasn't me, but someone told me his car got keyed in the parking lot. Nobody owned up to it.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Andy9o8 0]

Quote

And/Or - turn on the video on your phone each and every time that person approaches you.
File\Save as... day date time

A word of caution: in several (not all) US states it's criminally unlawful to record someone's voice (even over the phone) without his knowledge or consent. For all I know, some other countries might have similar laws. This should always be kept in mind.

[BIGUN 1,051]

True. Thanks for the reminder... http://www.vegress.com/index.php/can-i-record-calls-in-my-state

Perhaps I can get an NSA agent to do it for me?

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[ryoder 1,381]

BIGUN

True. Thanks for the reminder... http://www.vegress.com/index.php/can-i-record-calls-in-my-state

Perhaps I can get an NSA agent to do it for me?

They already have it;
Just file an FOI for a copy of it.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Rstanley0312 0]

nigel99

Anyone had experience with workplace bullying?

Don't want to go into specifics but my boss is a bully and I've just started to keep a log. I've painted a target on my back by speaking up on others behalf and now for the first time in my life have received a verbal warning for being 'glass half empty personality'.

Job market for my skills are limited, and if I had the opportunity I would quit in a heartbeat, but it isn't really an option right now.

You are not in the states so this probably does not apply to you but I will tell you how it works in the U.S., unless you are a protected class you can do nothing except leave. Being an asshole here is not illegal nor is being a bully. There are some states starting to move on work place bullying and harassment legislation but they are not that far along yet. It needs to happen. It happens too often in smaller companies but still does happen in big companies. I have experience in dealing with this and it sucks! Sorry you are dealing with this.

Life is all about ass....either you're kicking it, kissing it, working it off, or trying to get a piece of it.
Muff Brother #4382 Dudeist Skydiver #000
www.fundraiseadventure.com

[nigel99 143]

Andy9o8

Quote

And/Or - turn on the video on your phone each and every time that person approaches you.
File\Save as... day date time

A word of caution: in several (not all) US states it's criminally unlawful to record someone's voice (even over the phone) without his knowledge or consent. For all I know, some other countries might have similar laws. This should always be kept in mind.

Almost certain it wouldn't be legal here.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[akarunway 1]

Whatever happened to? I quit and punch em in the face? Catch em drunk at a bar?

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[jclalor 12]

akarunway

Whatever happened to? I quit and punch em in the face? Catch em drunk at a bar?

Perhaps, at a time when well paying/benefited jobs were a bit more easier to land.

Having a job in these times, that you really need, just makes a dickhead boss that much more intolerable.

The worst part, dickhead bosses know the job market, this gives them their power.

[Andy9o8 0]

jclalor

***Whatever happened to? I quit and punch em in the face? Catch em drunk at a bar?

Perhaps, at a time when well paying/benefited jobs were a bit more easier to land.

Having a job in these times, that you really need, just makes a dickhead boss that much more intolerable.

The worst part, dickhead bosses know the job market, this gives them their power.

Sometimes accidents just happen.

[Glitch 0]

Quote

...The worst part, dickhead bosses know the job market, this gives them their power.

Dickhead only has power over you if you let him.

Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born...

[nigel99 143]

Glitch

Quote

...The worst part, dickhead bosses know the job market, this gives them their power.

Dickhead only has power over you if you let him.

Anyone ever quit a job with nothing lined up?

Jesus Christ current blow up with the boss - he signed off a project plan that assigned 0.13hr (8 minutes) for an entire electrical design. I've been reprimanded for blowing the timescale and still doing a rush job.

On the bright side all that bullshit including the project plan is documented, so I've been able to approach his boss for help in adjusting my approach and attitude as I'm struggling to meet the expectations that are being set.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.

[Nataly 38]

nigel99

Anyone ever quit a job with nothing lined up?

Yep. Twice. First time I had no idea what I wanted to do - total career change, etc. Second time I was like: "fuck this, I'm a Chartered Accountant and can find *something* better than this bullshit - even if it does pay less."

Don't regret either decision as both times things worked out very nicely. That said, I would not recommend this approach to the vast majority of people... Just like I would not encourage the vast majority of people to take up base jumping...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss