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BillyVance

Explain a film plot badly

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Seems like this has been going around on twitter, though I'm not a user...

Lord of the Rings trilogy - Group spends 9 hours returning jewelry
Taken - A dad has to go pick up his daughter
E.T. - Illegal immigrant chased by the feds
The Dark Knight - A billionaire devotes his fortune to cosplay and beating up the mentally ill
Narnia - Four kids come out of the closet
The Human Centipede - Small town doctor brings 3 people closer together
Titanic - A lot of people take the ice bucket challenge, it doesn't end well
Star Wars - A deadbeat dad tries to get his son to take over the family business
Home Alone - A neglected sociopathic child tries to kill two burglars
Wizard of Oz - American invades foreign land, kills local leadership, tries to find exit strategy

Any others? :D
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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This was from a very cynical friend, however since I detested the film, I consider it accurate.

The Deer Hunter - 3 guys go to Vietnam; One loses his legs, one blows his brains out playing Russian roulette, and they all sit around in the end singing "God Bless America".
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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Point Break - Cop infiltrates a bunch of skydivers and becomes one of "them".

Drop Zone - Same as above.

Cutaway - Same as above.

Terminal Velocity - Not quite the same as above. Well, not the same at all, but no one was following the plot anyway.

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I saw these ones...

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - Reclusive weirdo and his mutant employees lure children into his factory with sweets then dispose of them one by one
The Little Mermaid - Half-fish, half-woman sells vocal chords to kiss random bloke
The Karate Kid - Old man pretends to teach teenage boy karate to make him do chores
"I fly because it releases my mind from the tyranny of petty things." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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muff528


Terminal Velocity - Not quite the same as above. Well, not the same at all, but no one was following the plot anyway.



Wait...

Terminal Velocity had a PLOT???
"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

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Cleopatra: Liz Taylor and Richard Burton get hitched again, and then die.
War of the Worlds: aliens get killed by bacteria.
Independence Day: aliens get killed by computer virus.
Night of the Living Dead: because ... zombies.
...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

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kallend


War of the Worlds: aliens get killed by bacteria.
Independence Day: aliens get killed by computer virus.


Mars Attacks: aliens get killed by country/western music.
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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The Hateful Eight - A group of strangers spend a lonely weekend together in a cozy cabin.

The Village - Lazy father sends blind daughter on an errand.

John Carpenter's Vampires - A hunter, a priest, and a hooker walk into a bar...
What you say is reflective of your knowledge...HOW ya say it is reflective of your experience. Airtwardo

Someone's going to be spanked! Hopefully, it will be me. Skymama

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