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kuai43

RIP Concrete Rebound Hammer

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Concrete Rebound Hammer has a glass boombox full of orange juice. Because Random.

Concrete Rebound Hammer celebrates all holidays. Simultaneously.

The manufacturer of Concrete Rebound Hammer accepts no liability for users' failure to maintain minimum safe distance from the blast radius when Concrete Rebound Hammer is celebrating all holidays simultaneously.

Feedback from surviving users of Concrete Rebound Hammer indicate said blast radius may be measured in megatons. Viewer discretion, is advised.

Concrete Rebound Hammer may be useful during triage and cleanup after all holidays have been celebrated simultaneously. It can also be used for reconstruction of roads, bridges, dams, and other large-scale infrastructure which may have suffered severe damage during the festivities.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is not available on Amazon or in any other rainforests. For use in Australia, consult the manufacturer. Effectiveness of application of Concrete Rebound Hammer may depend on local definition of rainforest. A database of native guides is available online.

Concrete Rebound Hammer requires 13 reindeer for transportation on dates in late December. Not counting the one with the famous running lights.

Concrete Rebound Hammer proves that, according to legend, given Santa's choice of lead reindeer, lack of polar mechanical support, and color of running lights, the famous sleigh has a severe alignment problem and is stuck in a permanent right turn. Study of GPS maps based on polar coordinates may assist parents in timing their children's late night vigils and tree-loading missions accordingly.

Concrete Rebound Hammer should NOT be used for opening hard-boiled eggs. Or any other kind of eggs. For assistance in user management of current egg packaging technology, consult the egg manufacturer. Offerings of cracked corn may be useful in eliciting a response from most egg manufacturers. Intelligibility of the reply may be dependent on the users' language skills, particularly dialects normally associated with poultry.

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not come with a chicken/human translation dictionary.

In the event Concrete Rebound Hammer is being used by individuals unfamiliar with domesticated flightless avian dialects, the manufacturer suggests that other, non-domesticated bird species may be compatible with Concrete Rebound Hammer. We suggest ducks.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is not certified for use with wild aquatic bird species larger than industry standard chickens.

Users of Concrete Rebound Hammer accept all risk associated with attempted use of Concrete Rebound Hammer with Canada Geese. (Branta canadensis)

When consulted off the record for recommendations regarding applicability of Concrete Rebound Hammer toward management of large northern aquatic wildfowl egg packaging technologies, 9 out of 10 geese surveyed reportedly responded, "Bring it on!" *

The tenth Goose, merely honked mildly. Whether this indicated assent, calm approval, or simple misunderstanding on the part of the goose remains unclear at this time. Translation efforts, are ongoing.

*translated from Goose via "Northern Wildfowl Linguistic Lexicon, V 0.01 Beta" all rights reserved.

-B
Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

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Concrete rebound hammer is warranted to withstand shark attacks, bear maulings, and children under 5. :S

"There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Life, the Universe, and Everything

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kuai43

The Mayans based their calendar on Concrete Rebound Hammer.



Concrete Rebound Hammer doesn't post pet pics.
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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LuckyMcSwervy

***Concrete Rebound Hammer reportedly has more lives than a cat.



Concrete Rebound Hammer doesn't piss outside of the litter box for spite. :S

Concrete Rebound Hammer likes toes.
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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Concrete Rebound Hammer, even when used correctly, may cause serious injury or death. Unless you sign the waiver. In invisible ink.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is stone washed and pre-shrunk.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is so all-powerful that it CAN create a stone so large that it cannot lift it.

The new and improved Concrete Rebound Hammer v2.0 does actually appear to be moderator resistant, unlike the earlier model. Your mileage may vary.

(Thanks, Lurch, for pointing out this thread to a whole new group of folks at the fire last night!)

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oldwomanc6

Concrete Rebound Hammer cannot be trusted to tell you the truth. Especially around the bonfire.



Concrete rebound hammer doesn't like word association threads.:|
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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grue

Do not speak Swahili in the presence of Concrete Rebound Hammer



Do not speak Concrete Rebound Hammer in front of a swahili.

Or

In front of Putin
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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turtlespeed

***Do not speak Swahili in the presence of Concrete Rebound Hammer



Do not speak Concrete Rebound Hammer in front of a swahili.

Or

In front of Putin

Concrete Rebound Hammer can be used to annex Crimea.
cavete terrae.

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