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kuai43

RIP Concrete Rebound Hammer

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LuckyMcSwervy

What did I miss? I know what one of those hammers are but since we aren't testing concrete here... I missed something and I'm nosey. :P



There was a spam ad for one in the Safety &Training Forum. And lurch and a few others took it and ran with it, expounding the virtues and risks of it. Absolutely hilarious.

It stayed up for a couple of days, but was removed this afternoon.

It pays to read the topical forums in addition to the fuckery in here. :P
"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

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wolfriverjoe

***What did I miss? I know what one of those hammers are but since we aren't testing concrete here... I missed something and I'm nosey. :P



There was a spam ad for one in the Safety &Training Forum. And lurch and a few others took it and ran with it, expounding the virtues and risks of it. Absolutely hilarious.

It stayed up for a couple of days, but was removed this afternoon.

It pays to read the topical forums in addition to the fuckery in here. :P

Damn it! Maybe you should "notify" us Bonfire stayers when there's something else "good" going on elsewhere!! :P

PS - Here's an ad I just saw attached to an article about a drug problem in a NJ county. Can you see what I'm talking about?!
Always be kinder than you feel.

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wolfriverjoe

***What did I miss?



There was a spam ad for one in the Safety &Training Forum. And lurch and a few others took it and ran with it, expounding the virtues and risks of it. Absolutely hilarious.

It stayed up for a couple of days, but was removed this afternoon.

It pays to read the topical forums in addition to the fuckery in here. :P

It's a good thing someone preserves shit for posterity... B|

...................
Concrete Test Hammer, ideally suited for on-site tests of concrete and is widely used instrument for analyzing the uniformity and compressive strength characteristics of concrete structures and Detection of weak spots in the concrete.
For more information visit our website at:
http://www.reboundhammer.com/concrete-rebound-hammer.html

...
[credit Lurch]


Do not taunt concrete rebound hammer.

If concrete rebound hammer begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Caution: Concrete rebound hammer may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Do not use concrete rebound hammer on concrete.

Concrete rebound hammer may stick to certain types of skin.

Concrete rebound hammer contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Discontinue use of Concrete rebound hammer if any of the following occurs:

itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
heart palpitations

Concrete rebound hammer comes with a lifetime guarantee!
Every fight is a food fight if you're a cannibal

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man. - Anthony Burgess

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kuai43

******What did I miss?



There was a spam ad for one in the Safety &Training Forum. And lurch and a few others took it and ran with it, expounding the virtues and risks of it. Absolutely hilarious.

It stayed up for a couple of days, but was removed this afternoon.

It pays to read the topical forums in addition to the fuckery in here. :P

It's a good thing someone preserves shit for posterity... B|

...................
Concrete Test Hammer, ideally suited for on-site tests of concrete and is widely used instrument for analyzing the uniformity and compressive strength characteristics of concrete structures and Detection of weak spots in the concrete.
For more information visit our website at:
http://www.reboundhammer.com/concrete-rebound-hammer.html

...
[credit Lurch]


Do not taunt concrete rebound hammer.

If concrete rebound hammer begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Caution: Concrete rebound hammer may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Do not use concrete rebound hammer on concrete.

Concrete rebound hammer may stick to certain types of skin.

Concrete rebound hammer contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Discontinue use of Concrete rebound hammer if any of the following occurs:

itching
vertigo
dizziness
tingling in extremities
loss of balance or coordination
slurred speech
temporary blindness
profuse sweating
heart palpitations

Concrete rebound hammer comes with a lifetime guarantee!

:D:D:D THanks! In my head I was reading the "warnings" with the fast talling announcer guy voice and LOLd when I got to "do not use on concrete". :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:
Always be kinder than you feel.

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[and Lurch followed up with]

Because the world needs to know about Concrete Rebound Hammer!

Concrete Rebound Hammer comes in many colors!

Concrete Rebound Hammer makes a great gift!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is waterproof!

Concrete Rebound Hammer may change shape, unexpectedly!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is edible depending on temperature!

Concrete Rebound Hammer requires no lubrication!

Concrete Rebound Hammer has no moving parts!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is recommended for ages 3 and up!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is recommended by four out of five doctors!

Concrete Rebound Hammer should be kept out of the reach of children!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is available throughout Asia, South America, and Zimbabwe!

Concrete Rebound Hammer may cause excessive growth of facial hair!

Concrete Rebound Hammer has vitamins, and no extra caffeine!

If Concrete Rebound Hammer stays up for more than four hours, seek medical attention!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is biodegradable!

Concrete Rebound Hammer will make you popular!

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not come with a manual!
Every fight is a food fight if you're a cannibal

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man. - Anthony Burgess

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[Lurch wasn't finished...]


Concrete Rebound Hammer features:


Will maximize your carbon footprint!*

Concrete Rebound Hammer is strictly ecological!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is windows compatible! Doors, too!

But wait, there's more!

Its good for the rain forest!

Not sold in stores! (except Japan and the Kuriles, where it can be purchased from authorized vending machines!)

Concrete Rebound Hammer is copyright!

Concrete Rebound Hammer should be stored in a cool, dry place!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is the only substance besides Spam which sticks to teflon!

Concrete Rebound Hammer contains no fluorocarbons!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is thermally stable!

Concrete Rebound Hammer can be used in place of beach ball for animal management!

Concrete Rebound Hammer grows only on the southern slopes of Mt. Gzyrgwsyz in Abkhazia!

Concrete Rebound Hammer should not be applied to mucous membranes!

Concrete Rebound Hammer has antioxidants!

Concrete Rebound Hammer shrinks when exposed to sunlight!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is void where prohibited!

Concrete Rebound Hammer contains no sugar substitutes!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is available without a prescription!

Concrete Rebound Hammer fits in your MAILBOX!

With Concrete Rebound Hammer you will run faster, jump higher, and thunk smarter!

All this and more will be YOURS when you pay by check, credit card or money order! Don't wait- Call Now!
Order yours, TODAY!

*Batteries not included.
Every fight is a food fight if you're a cannibal

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man. - Anthony Burgess

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[then some dipshit chimed in with]

Concrete Rebound Hammer will deflect unwarranted attention from Moderators.

Concrete Rebound Hammer contains nudity AND adult content.

Concrete Rebound Hammer may violate Terms of Service.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is not a personal flotation device.

Concrete Rebound Hammer packs low-volume!

Concrete Rebound Hammer leaves some children behind.

Concrete Rebound Hammer ist sehr rassig!

Concrete Rebound Hammer drinks responsibly.

Concrete Rebound Hammer has been linked to aggressive behavior.

Never use liquid to extinguish Concrete Rebound Hammer.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is not rude!

Do not put Concrete Rebound Hammer in nose or mouth.

Do not stare directly at Concrete Rebound Hammer.

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not adhere to the Geneva Conventions.

Concrete Rebound Hammer removes labels under penalty of law.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is capable of quick and tight turns. Such maneuvers can cause unseated occupants to be thrown around.

Use of Concrete Rebound Hammer during formative years may cause delusions, hallucinations, or decreased cognitive and reasoning abilities.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is addictive.

Do not use Concrete Rebound Hammer in shallow water.

Concrete Rebound Hammer uses your profile information without permission.

Concrete Rebound Hammer may be used against you in a court of law.

Do not copy Concrete Rebound Hammer!
Every fight is a food fight if you're a cannibal

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man. - Anthony Burgess

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Well, THANK YOU!

I was happy to have seen it in the original, but knowing that you were diligent enough to save it and be able to share it here in the Bonfire where it belongs (sort of anyway) earns my respect.

Not that that's worth a whole lot, but you know what I mean.

Concrete Rebound Hammer - Not just for breakfast anymore!

Edit to add: "Packs Low Volume" is the 5th line in the "Dipshit" post (actually it was kuai43 who wrote that originally).
"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

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[and... finally]

There is a problem with Concrete Rebound Hammer's security certificate.

Concrete Rebound Hammer has been seized by U.S. Customs and Immigration Enforcement.

You may experience fatigue or discomfort after using Concrete Rebound Hammer for a long period.

Wear light-colored clothing when operating Concrete Rebound Hammer.

Do not pepper-spray Concrete Rebound Hammer.

This is not the Concrete Rebound Hammer that you're looking for.

Concrete Rebound Hammer may not be shipped to California or Massachusetts.

Keep ammunition away from Concrete Rebound Hammer.

Help Concrete Rebound Hammer identify you as a human. Position yourself so that your scent is carried to Concrete Rebound Hammer.

Concrete Rebound Hammer has perfect attendance.

Spike Lee says Concrete Rebound Hammer does the right thing.

Concrete Rebound Hammer comes in electronic format.

Concrete Rebound Hammer ships in unmarked packaging.

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not floss regularly.

Concrete Rebound Hammer has priority boarding.

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not judge.

Concrete Rebound Hammer builds confidence!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is 4G compatible!

Concrete Rebound Hammer waives handling fees.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is encrypted!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is recommended by Oprah!

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not listen to Katy Perry.

And, finally... Concrete Rebound Hammer is God's match for you.


[thank you and I'm here til Thursday. The tip jar is on the front counter]
Every fight is a food fight if you're a cannibal

Goodness is something to be chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man. - Anthony Burgess

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Concrete Rebound Hammer, inc, proudly presents, Concrete Rebound Hammer, 2.0!

New features include:

Concrete Rebound Hammer has more lives than the offspring of a cockroach and a cat.

Concrete Rebound Hammer turns blue when exposed to garlic!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is the choice of an old generation!

With Concrete Rebound Hammer, failure becomes an option!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is to be operated by unauthorized personnel only!

With Concrete Rebound Hammer, all rights are NOT reserved!

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not enable the wearer to fly.

Concrete Rebound Hammer does not contain user serviceable parts!

Concrete Rebound Hammer can make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

Concrete Rebound Hammer does what it must, because it can.

Concrete Rebound Hammer really ties the room together.

If Concrete Rebound Hammer is swallowed, do not induce vomiting.

The first rule of Concrete Rebound Hammer is, you do not talk about Concrete Rebound Hammer.

-B
Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

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With Concrete Rebound Hammer, you CAN touch this!

Concrete Rebound Hammer contains chemicals known in the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects and other reproductive harm!

Concrete Rebound Hammer is NOT 50-state legal.

Use of Concrete Rebound Hammer in a manner inconsistent with its labeling may cause damage or void the warranty.

With Concrete Rebound Hammer, some assembly is always required.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is required to inform you, that you may be informed, of any applicable regulatory compliance issues.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is nonsterile. Not for surgical use.

Dispose of Concrete Rebound Hammer in fire, puncture, or inhale the contents.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is dishwasher and microwave safe!

Concrete Rebound Hammer contains a bittering agent to help discourage inhalant abuse.

Concrete Rebound Hammer is dedicated to the well being of all participants. Cake, and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.

Concrete Rebound Hammer contains no natural or artificial ingredients.

Concrete Rebound Hammer puts the "I" in "Team"!

-B
Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

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Confirmed- Concrete Rebound Hammer makes a sound if it falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it

Concrete Rebound Hammer is warranted to withstand Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicks

Concrete Rebound Hammer cures tonsillitis with direct application
"There is an art, it says, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Life, the Universe, and Everything

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jgoose71

Confirmed- Concrete Rebound Hammer makes a sound if it falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it

Concrete Rebound Hammer is warranted to withstand Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicks



I was thinking about a "Chuck Norris" reference, but couldn't come up with a good one.

Concrete Rebound Hammer - Engineered like no other hammer in the world.
"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

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And the best part is, if you call within the next 7 minutes, you can double your savings! You can get Two Concrete Rebound Hammers for the price of one! And if you mention this ad, you can add two Mini Chislers and a complete set of Grindstones all at no extra charge! It comes complete in it's own handy carrying case, but only if you call right now!!!!!!
lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

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