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Nataly

An age-old question...

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When you start seeing someone you really like and they suddenly announce that they really like someone else... Do you:

A - feel encouraged that likeable people still exist or
B - start drinking??

Can't actually say I am *devastated*... But I am a bit disheartened... Seems like lately I am the fun girl men want to have fun with... Until they ditch me to settle down with someone else... :S I *do* realise it's partly to do with my selection process... I'm not saying I am some kind of victim here... Just a bit down from a recent rejection. But I will be fine... Maybe after a beer or fifty!! :D:D
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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JohnMitchell

I used to handle rejection by going skydiving. Filled up quite a few logbooks that way.. :D



Yeah well pretty broke right now... Even considering selling my gear... :S At the rate I have been jumping in the past ten years or so it would make sense!! :D:D

Doing sports helps. Gonna do that as soon as I get over this annoying cold. B|



ETA - Well, aren't I just a ball of sunshine??!! :D:D Meh. I will be ok. Everything will be just fine...
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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BartsDaddy

Move to southern California. Live in a trailer at Perris DZ, and you will have a man in no time.;):P



Meh. Not a huge fan of Perris. Also not desperate to "find a man." There is no shortage of men here who would LOVE to be with me... It's not like I am fussy or have some weird set of impossible criteria/expectations... But I *do* want to find someone that *I* like... And it would be nice if he liked me back!! :D:D
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Don't sell your gear unless desparate for.money
Skydiving is part of you life and can stay a part forever. It took me 47 years to find my wife, another skydiver. Nkw we have two great firls when I had given up ever having kids if my own.

Along the way several broken hearts and sadness that a woman couldn't be what I needed. Don't give up.
I'm old for my age.
Terry Urban
D-8631
FAA DPRE

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Drop zones aren't exactly good places to find a decent guy. I'd rank them right about the same as a bar or night club.

Good for hook-ups and one night stands, yes. Long term relationships, no. There have been success stories to be sure, like Normiss/Skymama. Don't you still have your sport bike? Get on the road for a ride. ;)

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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BillyVance

Drop zones aren't exactly good places to find a decent guy. I'd rank them right about the same as a bar or night club.

Good for hook-ups and one night stands, yes. Long term relationships, no. There have been success stories to be sure, like Normiss/Skymama. Don't you still have your sport bike? Get on the road for a ride. ;)




Again... Not terribly desperate to find someone... Yes, it would be nice... But I feel like I already do a lot of things I enjoy (including road trips on the bike!) and this in itself sort-of naturally increases the odds of meeting someone with similar interests.

That said, I do enjoy a pretty naughty life-style so I am bound to ALSO meet/attract a lot of douche-bags!! :D:D I just need to stop falling for the wrong ones!! Lol! :P
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Nataly,
I rarely post on DZ.com but I lurk the Bonfire often.
There is no reason to be devastated. The only person that you need to make you feel good about yourself is you.
Nataly

I am the fun girl men want to have fun with... Until they ditch me to settle down with someone else


This is very common for "nice girls/guys". You invest time and resources in a person for them to go and give their attentions to someone else. It is not gender specific.
I don't really have my head around this so I am certainly not someone you should listen to. Put this in perspective: you had a buddy that you did fun stuff with. The time you spent together can never be taken back. Why would you let the present situation taint the past.

You will never be happy by mating your happiness to external short-term goals or relationships. Set yourself on a path to psychological and financial independence by choice, not by accident. Only a few people can count on luck. The rest of us have to work for it.
The path begins with moderating you reactions to the daily struggle. If you don't get overwhelmed by joy when something good happens you won't get overwhelmed by grief when something bad happens. This is easy to say but it is an evil daily struggle. Imagine a gremlin that sits on your head all day from the moment you wake up and tells you you are worthless, and you believe it. And every moment of the day you have to ignore that gremlin and beat it back with a constant stream of achievements: Got out of bed, got cleaned up and ready for work, drove to work and got there on time (no excuses), eat healthy, go to sleep with enough time to have a good night's rest. Every, Day.That gremlin can curse and spit and demean but every day you can close your eyes knowing that you beat him.

Setting achievable goals is the key. It starts from "Today, I will eat only fruit!" and continues with spending less money on "stuff" and ends with a small sense of self fulfillment. Notice that all of these things are just you without a spouse. That self fulfillment is the meat and potatoes of your core personality with skydiving and other self improvement activities as the ice-cream. Someone to share it with is only the "cherry on top". When they leave, you still have the internal discipline, the sense of self, the ability to wake up and be who you are.

I have no right to say any of this to you. I don't know you. You have put your life on a bit of a display here in this forum and I would be terrified to do something like that. Especially since you are not doing it as some attention seeking drama queen. You seem like a genuine, vulnerable and caring person. I know that you have ups and downs and this just happens to be one of the downs. Don't take this current downturn too hard and take inspiration from your own signature
***There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse.
There are no dangerous dives
Only dangerous divers

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What's worse is when you're a woman in a male-dominated career field. You trust that the coworkers you hang out with think of you on the same level as everyone else....

until you all move to different jobs, and they're all still friends/in touch, but no one contacts you anymore. [:/] Turns out they just liked having "a girl" around, and didn't even respect you as an equal. Some were even hoping just to sleep with you, not caring at all about you as a person, let alone as a peer.

Wankers. >:(

["you" is used in the generic sense here -- not you personally, Nat]

See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus

Shut Up & Jump!

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TriGirl

What's worse is when you're a woman in a male-dominated career field. You trust that the coworkers you hang out with think of you on the same level as everyone else....

until you all move to different jobs, and they're all still friends/in touch, but no one contacts you anymore. [:/] Turns out they just liked having "a girl" around, and didn't even respect you as an equal. Some were even hoping just to sleep with you, not caring at all about you as a person, let alone as a peer.

Wankers. >:(

["you" is used in the generic sense here -- not you personally, Nat]



Let me assure you this is how guys treat 90% of other guys as well (except for the hoping just to sleep with you part).

Change jobs as a guy and 90% of the time you're as good as a ghost to them. Generally speaking, if somebody doesn't need to be in touch or can't derive a benefit you'll simply lose contact. It's not a guy/girl thing. It's just the way it is with guys and pretty much everybody.
quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

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TriGirl

You trust that the coworkers you hang out with think of you on the same level as everyone else....



:D:D:D

Quote

Some were They were all even hoping just to sleep with you, not caring at all about you as a person, let alone as a peer.



FFFY :)
Quote

["you" is used in the generic sense here -- not you personally, Nat]



I know... :P

Sory babe... Your entire post made me laugh out loud!!! Not making fun of you or anything... (But seriously, it did make me laugh!!...). :D:D:D:P
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Thanks for taking the time to write that very considerate post :)
As I said, I am nowhere near any kind of massive depression over this (let's face it) relatively trivial event!!! Just a bit of a bummer, that's all... :P I will be fine :)


ETA: I don't think my "problem" has anything to do with me being "too nice." :D:D:D:D:P

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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JohnyCrawford

***That said, I do enjoy a pretty naughty life-style...



Um, uh, tell us more about your naughtiness? :$


Nope! :P
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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BillyVance

Drop zones aren't exactly good places to find a decent guy. I'd rank them right about the same as a bar or night club.

Good for hook-ups and one night stands, yes. Long term relationships, no. There have been success stories to be sure, like Normiss/Skymama. Don't you still have your sport bike? Get on the road for a ride. ;)



ahem, Fireflytx and I are still married too. ;)

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

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Brains

***Drop zones aren't exactly good places to find a decent guy. I'd rank them right about the same as a bar or night club.

Good for hook-ups and one night stands, yes. Long term relationships, no. There have been success stories to be sure, like Normiss/Skymama. Don't you still have your sport bike? Get on the road for a ride. ;)



ahem, Fireflytx and I are still married too. ;)

Good to see you back on here. Been a while! B|
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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jimjumper

Me and my wife Cathy, met on the DZ, got married on the DZ, and just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary!




Awww!!! That's lovely! Congratulations :)
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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quade

***What's worse is when you're a woman in a male-dominated career field. You trust that the coworkers you hang out with think of you on the same level as everyone else....

until you all move to different jobs, and they're all still friends/in touch, but no one contacts you anymore. [:/] Turns out they just liked having "a girl" around, and didn't even respect you as an equal. Some were even hoping just to sleep with you, not caring at all about you as a person, let alone as a peer.

Wankers. >:(

["you" is used in the generic sense here -- not you personally, Nat]



Let me assure you this is how guys treat 90% of other guys as well (except for the hoping just to sleep with you part).

Change jobs as a guy and 90% of the time you're as good as a ghost to them. Generally speaking, if somebody doesn't need to be in touch or can't derive a benefit you'll simply lose contact. It's not a guy/girl thing. It's just the way it is with guys and pretty much everybody.

Note the parts I bolded in my original post. The field of my experience is military, so we all move to new jobs rather regularly. In one example, I am still friends with one, who asked me to be part of the sword detail for his wedding. The other guys previously from that group (also invited to perform this task) turned out to still all be friends and in regular contact, though all had moved to different billets as well.
See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus

Shut Up & Jump!

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TriGirl

******What's worse is when you're a woman in a male-dominated career field. You trust that the coworkers you hang out with think of you on the same level as everyone else....

until you all move to different jobs, and they're all still friends/in touch, but no one contacts you anymore. [:/] Turns out they just liked having "a girl" around, and didn't even respect you as an equal. Some were even hoping just to sleep with you, not caring at all about you as a person, let alone as a peer.

Wankers. >:(

["you" is used in the generic sense here -- not you personally, Nat]



Let me assure you this is how guys treat 90% of other guys as well (except for the hoping just to sleep with you part).

Change jobs as a guy and 90% of the time you're as good as a ghost to them. Generally speaking, if somebody doesn't need to be in touch or can't derive a benefit you'll simply lose contact. It's not a guy/girl thing. It's just the way it is with guys and pretty much everybody.

Note the parts I bolded in my original post. The field of my experience is military, so we all move to new jobs rather regularly. In one example, I am still friends with one, who asked me to be part of the sword detail for his wedding. The other guys previously from that group (also invited to perform this task) turned out to still all be friends and in regular contact, though all had moved to different billets as well.


Mmm... The older I get, the less I believe that men and women can be "just friends." As with all things, there are probably some exceptions. But they are... Exceptional!! Lol!

I mean, you can have men in your life that you find nice and they find you nice and you get along and when you happen to run into them you exchange pleasantries and all of that can be totally platonic... But actually confiding in them as you would one of your girlfriends??? Dunno...
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Nataly



Mmm... The older I get, the less I believe that men and women can be "just friends." As with all things, there are probably some exceptions. But they are... Exceptional!! Lol!

I mean, you can have men in your life that you find nice and they find you nice and you get along and when you happen to run into them you exchange pleasantries and all of that can be totally platonic... But actually confiding in them as you would one of your girlfriends??? Dunno...



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8kpYm-6nuE
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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I'd have to say that they can be. I've had a "girl" "friend". And I've known others as well. I grant you it's not common. In my case it was because I had absolutely no attraction to her. Not that she wasn't attractive. She was actually very pretty but she was a smoker. That's like an absolute hard no for me. The thought of of intimacy with her filled me feelings of disgust and revulsion. However we did become very good friends, she just had to stand down wind of me.

Lee
Lee
[email protected]
www.velocitysportswear.com

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