BIGUN 1,229 #2101 April 5, 2021 Cowboy Bill is sitting at the bar with a bowl of chili in front of him just staring at it. Cowboy Bob walks in and sits next to him. He looks at Bill staring at the chili and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer and cowboy Bill is still staring at the chili. Cowboy Bob says, "Pard, you gonna eat that?" Bill says, "No" and pushes the bowl in front of cowboy Bob. Cowboy Bob starts eating the chili and says to Bill, "Not bad. Has kind of a unique taste." Cowboy Bill gets down to the bottom of the bowl and sees a dead mouse at the bottom and throws up in the bowl. Cowboy Bill says, "That was my reaction." 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suzuhara 0 #2102 April 13, 2021 this is a great thread! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 156 #2103 April 20, 2021 xkcd Aviation Firsts: 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,229 #2105 April 23, 2021 If you smoke weed; you get high. If you study; you get educated. If you smoke weed while studying; you get highly educated. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #2106 April 23, 2021 Came here to tell a joke about trickle down economics but then I remembered 99% of you wouldn't get it. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #2107 April 24, 2021 On 4/23/2021 at 7:21 AM, BIGUN said: If you smoke weed; you get high. If you study; you get educated. If you smoke weed while studying; you get highly educated. Going for that PotHead Degree.... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 598 #2108 April 24, 2021 Speaking of pot and university towns ... I was driving on the interstate near Eugene, Oregon when I noticed my gas gauge getting low, so I pulled in to town and noticed how foggy it was in Eugene. While pumping gas, I noticed the smell of marijuana and I got the munchies. I knew that the guy working in Subway was a stoner when he licked the edge of the paper before rolling it around my sandwich. Then he said "Flash it up." A few minutes later a cop pulled me over and saw the sandwich with one burnt end. He asked if I had any marijuana in my car. I replied "search me." When He did not find any pot in my car, the cop sold me some. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,229 #2109 May 2, 2021 Prosecutor: Did you hit that man in the face with your fist? Defendant: No. Prosecutor: Sir, you’re under oath, do you know the penalty for perjury? Defendant: It’s less than aggravated assault. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #2110 May 3, 2021 A priest, a Buddhist monk and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says "I'm a typo." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 156 #2111 May 4, 2021 did you know that "t-shirt" is actually short for "tyrannosaurus-shirt"? yes, it's because the arms are short. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 598 #2113 May 24, 2021 One of my skydiving buddies liked to experiment with recreational pharmaceuticals. When he over-dosed, I took him to the hospital. As the doctor examined him, he asked several questions: "Do you see pink elephants?" "No" Do you see orange rhinosaurus?" "No" "Do you see green Martians?" "No." Then the doctor says "It looks like will be okay. Just rest of a few days." and wandered off. I turned to my buddy and said "You are way sicker than you look. The room is full of pink elephants, orange rhinosaurus and green Martians!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,287 #2115 May 26, 2021 That is so wrong on so many levels! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 598 #2116 May 30, 2021 What is the difference between parachute riggers and lawyers? Riggers care if their clients are still alive! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 598 #2117 June 3, 2021 What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,229 #2118 June 3, 2021 12 minutes ago, riggerrob said: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! For some reason, "Father's Day Jokes" crack me up. What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by Whittle. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
headoverheels 315 #2120 June 9, 2021 2 hours ago, wmw999 said: Must be moving pretty fast. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,233 #2121 June 9, 2021 4 hours ago, wmw999 said: Hi Wendy, I think the cars are sized incorrectly. Jerry Baumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TampaPete 40 #2122 June 9, 2021 6 hours ago, wmw999 said: It's the Doppler effect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gowlerk 2,062 #2123 June 10, 2021 8 hours ago, headoverheels said: Must be moving pretty fast. I wonder if it made a sound? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TampaPete 40 #2124 June 10, 2021 1 hour ago, gowlerk said: I wonder if it made a sound? Tree in the woods thing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SethInMI 156 #2125 June 11, 2021 On 6/9/2021 at 8:08 PM, gowlerk said: I wonder if it made a sound? Randall Monroe who writes xkcd replied to a similar question in his "what-if" series. "What would happen if a pitcher was able to pitch a ball at 90% of the speed of light?"https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/ The answer is yes. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
