BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

[ryoder 1,381]

We've all seen the stories about disuptes over whether a certain painting was done by a famous artist, but here is a case that has gone to court to settle the authenticity. Now here is the twist: The artist is still alive and swears he did not paint it; But yet a court is going to rule on if he did or not.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/painting-famed-living-artist-us-judge-decide-061344838.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,381]

Man angry over sap from neighbors tree getting on his car;
Takes matters into his own hands and cuts down tree;
Dropping it on his own apartment building.

http://wnep.com/2016/08/22/man-cuts-through-tree-sending-it-crashing-onto-his-apartment-house-in-luzerne-county/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,381]

"That's not a knife; Now THIS is a knife!"

http://metro.co.uk/2016/08/22/swordfight-after-man-robs-shop-with-sword-but-shopkeeper-pulls-out-huge-scimitar-6082582/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

Man angry over sap from neighbors tree getting on his car;
Takes matters into his own hands and cuts down tree;
Dropping it on his own apartment building.

http://wnep.com/2016/08/22/man-cuts-through-tree-sending-it-crashing-onto-his-apartment-house-in-luzerne-county/

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,381]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/mum-pushes-baby-pram-leaning-8702113

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,381]

You gotta be shittin' me.

http://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/utrolige-historier/stuck-in-public-toilet-tank-for-one-hour/a/23776620/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,381]

"If you attempt to cross the Canadian border with a rocket launcher and grenades, yooo just might be a redneck!"

FOXWORTHY VOICE>

http://cnews.canoe.com/CNEWS/Canada/2016/08/26/22662049.html

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[turtlespeed 212]

ryoder

You gotta be shittin' me.

http://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/utrolige-historier/stuck-in-public-toilet-tank-for-one-hour/a/23776620/

The tattoos on his face spell out "I will never have a good job"

Buy maybe sanitation will hire him.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[muff528 3]

ryoder

You gotta be shittin' me.

http://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/utrolige-historier/stuck-in-public-toilet-tank-for-one-hour/a/23776620/

".......The fire personnel had to demolish the toilet. It is now out of service”.

Well, No shit !!!

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

You gotta be shittin' me.

http://www.vg.no/nyheter/innenriks/utrolige-historier/stuck-in-public-toilet-tank-for-one-hour/a/23776620/

Did he get his phone back?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[turtlespeed 212]

Perks of the job I guess.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[ryoder 1,381]

"Vladimir Putin arrested at Publix": http://cbs12.com/news/local/vladimir-putin-arrested-at-publix

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[BillyVance 34]

From that same page: http://cbs12.com/news/offbeat/teen-dies-after-girlfriend-gives-fatal-hickey-lover-now-on-the-run

Hickeys are bad, mmmkay?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,381]

It looks like Coca Cola is returning to its original recipe: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-37232010

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,381]

Fark: "Australian wildlife no longer satisfied with just trying to kill you. Now it uses other wildlife as a weapon"

http://www.sbs.com.au/comedy/article/2016/08/31/australia-beautiful-see-hawk-literally-throw-snake-innocent-family

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[jono 0]

ryoder

Fark: "Australian wildlife no longer satisfied with just trying to kill you. Now it uses other wildlife as a weapon"

http://www.sbs.com.au/comedy/article/2016/08/31/australia-beautiful-see-hawk-literally-throw-snake-innocent-family

Fake
https://au.news.yahoo.com/a/32507165/hawk-throwing-snake-viral-video-is-fake-hawthorn-claims-responsibility/#page1

Remember you don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

[oldwomanc6 38]

Even if it wasn't faked, Who the heck even believed the hawk had intent to bomb?

It has scarcely been a week or two since I posted about having to dodge a fish dropped on top of my Vert. Did I think they (bald eagle and osprey) did it on purpose?

Sheesh!

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[BIGUN 1,049]

ryoder

"If you attempt to cross the Canadian border with a rocket launcher and grenades, yooo just might be a redneck!"

FOXWORTHY VOICE>

http://cnews.canoe.com/CNEWS/Canada/2016/08/26/22662049.html

But, Officer, I don't unnerstand. That's how we hunt alligators back home. Ain't you got no alligators up in these here parts? No?!?! Well sheet, Bobby Joe; we gots to scoot back home. There ain't no fun to be had in these parts.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[akarunway 1]

http://www.thewesterlysun.com/news/westerly/9312050-154/man-charged-with-shooting-corncobs-at-neighbors-house.html

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[turtlespeed 212]

akarunway

http://www.thewesterlysun.com/news/westerly/9312050-154/man-charged-with-shooting-corncobs-at-neighbors-house.html

Hmmm - I bet rifling would have made it more accurate.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[BillyVance 34]

akarunway

http://www.thewesterlysun.com/news/westerly/9312050-154/man-charged-with-shooting-corncobs-at-neighbors-house.html

"After speaking with the neighbor, police reported that they went to Osella’s home, and that he came to the door shirtless with multiple corn kernels stuck to his chest. "

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[oldwomanc6 38]

This one's just sad. And sick all the way around.

http://metro.co.uk/2016/09/06/woman-wants-to-be-so-fat-she-cant-move-6112220/

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[BillyVance 34]

Wow... that's just fucked up.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

Betcha they won't be doing that again!

http://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/restaurantsandnews/the-daily-dish-emts-called-when-middle-school-students-eat-world%e2%80%99s-hottest-peppers/ar-AAiB6Ro?li=BBnbfcL

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

Damn. He must be tired of her shit.



http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2016/09/kansas_bank_robber_prefers_jai.html

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban