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BillyVance

BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

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Good: You found a bored housewife looking for some action.:)Bad: She took video and put it on a porn site.:o
Ugly: You just played The Crying Game.:S

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/homestead/article213869259.html
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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ryoder

Good: You found a bored housewife looking for some action.:)Bad: She took video and put it on a porn site.:o
Ugly: You just played The Crying Game.:S

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/homestead/article213869259.html



I'm so glad my dating years are long gone. Now the first question you'd have to ask is "do you now, or have you ever, had a penis?"

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wolfriverjoe

You would think the ringing bells and flashing lights and lowered warning gates would be noticeable.

http://www.wbay.com/content/news/Jaw-dropping-video-cyclist-falls-into-Menasha-bridge-opening-488316741.html

It's not in this version of the story, but alcohol was reportedly involved (not terribly surprisingly).



That's such a familiar sight. Not the bicycle falling through the bridge, but the bridge. My wife grew up in Neenah and I think that's the bridge she walked across to and from school each day, wondering if her ears would survive the trip. Those Wisconsin winters are cold and windy.

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"It's not in this version of the story, but alcohol was reportedly involved (not terribly surprisingly). "

This is very close to Oshkosh and I soon realized that if you were driving in Oshkosh and had a heart attack or something and lost control of the car you would drive into a bar or a carry out. Sorry, package store. And even in Neenah and Menasha the places in grocery stores where, around here, there would be a huge produce section they've got cases of booze piled up. And I'm not talking beer either. Cases of heavy duty booze. In the winter there are so many snow white faces with bright red noses that it looks like a Rudolph convention.

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Police bust a woman for DUI.
And they make another DUI bust when the tow truck arrives for her car.

https://www.necn.com/news/new-england/Tow-Truck-Driver-Arrested-on-OUI-After-Responding-to-Another-OUI-Call-in-Barnstable-488913941.html
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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ryoder


Some of the large grocery stores, like Meijers, have started selling it around here. This could get interesting though at $1.89 a pound I doubt most people will be putting enough in their coolers to be deadly.
But you never know.

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ryoder


I'm kind of curious... He doesn't work for Uber itself. Are they going to have copyright issues with him using the name Uber?

Well at least you have to flag him down to get a ride since there's no cell phone app. :D
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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Yay, I escaped from the cops... now what... oh shit... B|

https://www.themaven.net/bluelivesmatter/news/body-found-in-grocery-store-column-believed-to-be-man-who-ran-from-police-KrUdomWCMEumsQyiCCZzZw/?fb_comment_id=1544175462353311_1544912858946238&comment_id=1544912858946238
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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BillyVance


I was eating lunch when I read: "I saw some gooey liquid and it smelled really foul ... it was oozing out of the pillar onto the pavement," a witness told KNBC. "It smelled like death."
"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

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https://www.yahoo.com/gma/pilot-dies-plane-crashes-utah-home-couple-inside-174907984--abc-news-topstories.html?.tsrc=daily_mail&uh_test=2_10[url]

This makes you wonder how far are you willing to go, when you're that pissed off. :S
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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The man was in mud up to his waist when crews arrived. Video shows that firefighters had to extend ladders across the mud to help him out – as the parrot remained perched on his shoulders.

https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/14/man-gets-stuck-mud-trying-rescue-pet-parrot-7835573/:D
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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