BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

[BillyVance 34]

Bob_Church

***"I fought the law, and the law won"

Jesus, look at the dude with the bandaged forehead. Looks like the cops turned his nose like it was a stove dial!

https://www.wcbi.com/meth-bust-nets-four-arrests/

What is that? I mean, how can it still be attached at that angle?

They didn't turn it far enough around.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

http://m.wbrc.com/story/37706252/woman-arrested-for-dui-on-the-way-to-her-wedding

I can understand getting busted for DUI after the wedding, but BEFORE?!?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ryoder 1,381]

BillyVance

http://m.wbrc.com/story/37706252/woman-arrested-for-dui-on-the-way-to-her-wedding

I can understand getting busted for DUI after the wedding, but BEFORE?!?

That's the only way I'd go to my wedding.

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,381]

To anyone from Down Under:
Are there really people there who talk like this article is written???

http://forupon.com/2018/03/13/gigantic-monster-fish-washes-australian-shore-baffling-locals/

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[metalslug 31]

You may already know that bait and groper are types of fish but the rest of the dialogue is like nothing I've heard.

The author of the article does not appear to be Australian nor is English his first language. It may be a story that was (mis)translated to Urdu and back again.

Although, I've never been to Queensland...

[oldwomanc6 38]

ryoder

To anyone from Down Under:
Are there really people there who talk like this article is written???

http://forupon.com/2018/03/13/gigantic-monster-fish-washes-australian-shore-baffling-locals/

and a for being down under.


I couldn't understand a word, either. Usually with CC, I can.

lisa
WSCR 594
FB 1023
CBDB 9

[BillyVance 34]

ryoder

To anyone from Down Under:
Are there really people there who talk like this article is written???

http://forupon.com/2018/03/13/gigantic-monster-fish-washes-australian-shore-baffling-locals/

It almost sounds like a bad Monty Python skit that doesn't make any sense.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 34]

Not exactly a news story but I didn't want to create a new thread...

I haven't really followed college basketball all that much but I was looking over the scores from yesterday and I did a double-take...

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/ncaabk/southeastern-louisiana-lions-at-saint-marys-gaels/game-center/sp-id-30401000002032312

St. Mary's College vs Southeast Louisiana in some post-season game... St. Mary's won 89-45. They won by 44. That's not the kicker. The game ended in TWO OVERTIMES.

OT periods are 5 minutes each, so St. Mary's apparently outscored SE LA by 44 in 5 minutes of play. What The Fuck.

ETA - after checking into it, it wasn't an OT game after all.

But now I'm confused... men's college basketball games are played in 20 minute halves.

This game summary seems to show it played in quarters...

http://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/game?gameId=401022726

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[DJL 232]

ryoder

To anyone from Down Under:
Are there really people there who talk like this article is written???

http://forupon.com/2018/03/13/gigantic-monster-fish-washes-australian-shore-baffling-locals/

The story was fed through a translation program.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[headoverheels 291]

ryoder

To anyone from Down Under:
Are there really people there who talk like this article is written???

http://forupon.com/2018/03/13/gigantic-monster-fish-washes-australian-shore-baffling-locals/

Interesting. It had never occurred to me to ponder the proper word for a group of haunts -- doom seems well chosen.

[ryoder 1,381]

Posted by Remi on FB.
Just scroll through the photos: https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/450-W-Grixdale_Highland-Park_MI_48203_M37779-89409

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[DJL 232]

ryoder

Posted by Remi on FB.
Just scroll through the photos: https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/450-W-Grixdale_Highland-Park_MI_48203_M37779-89409

That's amazing. I hope someone buys that place and fills it with white cats because that's the only thing missing.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[BillyVance 34]

DJL

***Posted by Remi on FB.
Just scroll through the photos: https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/450-W-Grixdale_Highland-Park_MI_48203_M37779-89409

That's amazing. I hope someone buys that place and fills it with white cats because that's the only thing missing.

Jesus Christ, I'd need fucking sunglasses just being in the living room.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[PhreeZone 14]

The house is only being shown on Sunny days too

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[ryoder 1,381]

Bring out your dead!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/16/romanian-court-tells-man-he-is-not-alive

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

ryoder

Bring out your dead!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/16/romanian-court-tells-man-he-is-not-alive

My first thought was "wouldn't the fact that he was standing there prove he was alive?"

Then I saw his picture.

[Bob_Church 7]

ryoder

Bring out your dead!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/16/romanian-court-tells-man-he-is-not-alive

I wonder, under Romanian law, do you actually have to drive the stake in before declaring him dead?

[ryoder 1,381]

Bob_Church

***Bring out your dead!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/16/romanian-court-tells-man-he-is-not-alive

I wonder, under Romanian law, do you actually have to drive the stake in before declaring him dead?

"Wait one minute! This is my home. My people cleared the land. We tortured innocent peasants for it. We even murdered for it. By Romanian law, that makes it ours."

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

ryoder

******Bring out your dead!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/16/romanian-court-tells-man-he-is-not-alive

I wonder, under Romanian law, do you actually have to drive the stake in before declaring him dead?

"Wait one minute! This is my home. My people cleared the land. We tortured innocent peasants for it. We even murdered for it. By Romanian law, that makes it ours."



Nobody respects tradition anymore.

Oh, remember when they dug the Ceaușescus back up to make sure they were dead?

[muff528 3]

He should sneak in to America. He's already qualified to vote. Got it on paper. Then, if he's lucky he could get a job on a city commission in California or something.

[DJL 232]

ryoder

******Bring out your dead!

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/mar/16/romanian-court-tells-man-he-is-not-alive

I wonder, under Romanian law, do you actually have to drive the stake in before declaring him dead?

"Wait one minute! This is my home. My people cleared the land. We tortured innocent peasants for it. We even murdered for it. By Romanian law, that makes it ours."



I didn't recognize the quote, had to look it up but I've seen that movie a hundred times at least because it was one of the 5 vhs tapes we had when we lived in Italy. I've been meaning to find it and rewatch it.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[Bob_Church 7]

Former Board of Education member and current DC councilman explains meteorology.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/19/politics/dc-council-member-apology-anti-semitic-comment/index.html[/url]

[ryoder 1,381]

Justice for a hit & run driver, Chinese style: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NS_aXg8UIBg

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[ryoder 1,381]

http://www.vicksburgpost.com/2018/03/17/three-cars-stolen-from-one-home-later-found-in-bizarre-turn/

“All three vehicles I might note were unlocked with the keys in the ignition,” Warren County Sheriff Martin Pace said. “The pickup truck had a handgun in it at the time it was stolen.”

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Bob_Church 7]

ryoder

http://www.vicksburgpost.com/2018/03/17/three-cars-stolen-from-one-home-later-found-in-bizarre-turn/

“All three vehicles I might note were unlocked with the keys in the ignition,” Warren County Sheriff Martin Pace said. “The pickup truck had a handgun in it at the time it was stolen.”

I can't remember the last time I went into our Post Office and there wasn't a new "have you seen my stolen guns" reward offer in magic marker on a piece of notebook paper pinned to it. It then lists yet another small arsenal in the hands of who knows who.