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BillyVance

BillyVance's "You Can't Make This Up" News Stories Thread

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Stumpy


The language used in the report MUST be taking the piss:

"At approximately 6:30 a.m. Monday, a car crash involving two pickup trucks sent one of the vehicles inside the AnalTech building of Newark, Del., leaving a giant hole.

The truck damaged the facility's laboratory and caused an odor to emanate from the cavity"

That writer knew exactly what he was doing.
"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

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BillyVance


Love the comments. Quick witted bunch there, I wonder what gave it away, the fake blood sprayed all over the "politicians" or the follow-up stories about the 50 person "Mashinator".
"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

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http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jacksonville-strip-club-blamed-severe-diarrhea-incident-stage/

A new way to "make it rain".

[edit to add: I saw this on FB, but borderherald.com looks like a generic news aggregator, so I have no idea how true this is...still funny though]
It's flare not flair, brakes not breaks, bridle not bridal, "could NOT care less" not "could care less".

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This guy might be the first one in Arizona, but he's not the first overall... :S:D

http://www.azfamily.com/story/35560346/pastafarian-gets-his-arizona-drivers-license-photo-taken-wearing-a-colander

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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Fark intro line:

"Tech support, what's your issue?"
"Hi, yeah. We're having a problem with our computers and had to cancel the flights of 75,000 passengers"
Tech Support: "Did you make sure it's plugged in?"


https://www.theverge.com/2017/6/2/15728276/british-airways-power-supply-turned-off-reports
:S

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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ryoder

Fark intro line:

"Tech support, what's your issue?"
"Hi, yeah. We're having a problem with our computers and had to cancel the flights of 75,000 passengers"
Tech Support: "Did you make sure it's plugged in?"


https://www.theverge.com/2017/6/2/15728276/british-airways-power-supply-turned-off-reports
:S



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_rWja1Xiu8

:D
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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I thought it was a joke when I first read about it, but this is an actual capture from Elon Musk's web page.
:D

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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If you're gonna steal a Ferrari... Better make sure it's got enough gas in it!
:S:D


http://www.msn.com/en-us/autos/news/man-allegedly-steals-ferrari-which-promptly-runs-out-of-gas/ar-BBCGDnG?li=BBnbfcL

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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Man robbed a bank and then waited for police to arrest him. Said he wanted to go to jail than return home to his wife who he just had an argument with.

He was just sentenced to six months home confinement and 50 hours community service. OOF!

:D:D:D

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/man-gets-home-confinement-after-robbing-bank-to-get-away-from-wife/ar-BBCJvRe?li=BBnbcA1

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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I don't know how I got this in the wrong thread, but I was on my smart phone then... :S

I don't think anybody would have expected to die like this: :S

http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/healthtrending/french-blogger-killed-by-whipped-cream-dispenser-explosion/ar-BBD1TsN?li=BBnb7Kz

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

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BillyVance

I don't know how I got this in the wrong thread, but I was on my smart phone then... :S

I don't think anybody would have expected to die like this: :S

http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/healthtrending/french-blogger-killed-by-whipped-cream-dispenser-explosion/ar-BBD1TsN?li=BBnb7Kz



Possibly an example of: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commotio_cordis
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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