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dopeonarope

the new girl - struggling with guilt or should I!

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Hi there - my first post on dz.com! I started jumping June this year with a charity tandem skydive....and became hooked very quickly. I started on a RAPS course two weeks later and have now completed 12 static line descents and passed my DP3 level to get to my first freefall. There wasn't enough daylight for me to do my brief and freefall that day, so I am waiting for british weather to be kind to me and allow a weekend of blue skies and light winds to get to FREEFALL! I can't wait - I even took extra toilet rolls as well as my celebratory crate of beer.

Upside - I am enjoying skydiving so much and the new friends I have made at the DZ! Brucie, Geordie and the rest of the staff have been so supportive and patient! I have learnt to pack, I help out by washing and repairing jumpsuits, scrub the toilets and catch tandems. (not very good at sitting around waiting am I?)

Downside - being made to feel guilty and 'irresponsible' for putting my life at risk (I have 3 children aged 3, 4 and 10 years!)

Am I irresponsible or just 'living'?
Any other skydive 'mums' who face the same opposition?

They just don't 'get it', do they?
live life, love life, be happy

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I am a mother of two girls ages 7 and 13. One is a special needs child. My girls and husband have been very supportive of me wanting to skydive. It also gives us a chance to spend some time together as a family. They come with me everytime I go to the DZ and are actually enthusiatic about it. I don't think it is a selfish thing at all. My husband hunts, my 7 year old plays the piano, my 13 year old plays soccer, and mom pretends to be brave one weekend out of the month. So, I think it is great and so does the rest of the family. Keep jumping and include the entire family. Have fun!

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Welcome to the forums! :)
I have had a few mishaps and have asked my kids if they wanted me to stop jumping. They told me no because they know I enjoy it and they said I am teaching them to enjoy life.:)
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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Let me give you a father perspective. I have three children and one on the way due in May. I understand your concern but I don't think you should feel guilty.
Instead, use skydiving as a lesson to teach your children a number of things. That you can enjoy life, not matter what your age and circumstance. That you can include your family in your hobbies, even if they don't participate. Even more, you can teach them to reach out and go for their goals, not matter what others think or say, because you are in charge of your life. You should never have to look back on your life and say, "I should have done that" but didn't, because other peoples opinions are different that yours.

I do agree though, that you should approach skydiving with common sens and be conservative. I don't do hook turns, or swoop or anything like that, and my wing load is 1.2. What I tell other people is, I want to be a safe skydiver, and I want to live to skydive another day.

Each person has hobbies they enjoy, whether they have risk or not, other people look at those activities in different lights. People don't understand skydivers unless they are skydivers themselves. Or unless that person is my wife.
My wife has no intentions of ever skydiving due to her own reasons. But she is out there every day that I am out there jumping, supporting me, because she knows that’s what I like doing. I've asked her several times, if she wants me to stop. She gets mad at me when I ask, because she knows skydiving is a part of me, and if I stop, I won't be happy.

Sorry this is so long, but to wrap this up. "You" are living your life, and I believe showing your children valuably life lessons. Take the opportunity to explain those lessons to them. People will always criticize the unknown, because they are ignorant. You're right, “they just don't get it".

Be safe, enjoy your life, and I wish you Blue Skies and Calm winds to get out there and enjoy freefall.

By the way, my avatar is my wifes first ultrasound. Can't wait for the next one in a couple of weeks.
Brad

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This is an addictive sport, trust me, I know! I have three children, 23, 21, and 17. I'm not a "mum", but as dz.com's most eligible bachelor with children, I can make a few comments. :D

Who is "making" you feel guilty and "irresponsible"? No one can do that. But you do have an obligation to yourself and your children. Are you health and life insured for skydiving? If you are injured, will your income continue? Will your health expenses be covered?

Simply jumping is not a reason for people to try and put the guilt trip on you, but if you have children in my opinion it is imperative to make sure they are taken care of in the event something unforeseen happens. In advance. Making you feel guilty about putting your life at risk is misplaced. Asking about how your children would be taken care of in the event something happens is not.

Keep living, but be responsible to those that count on you.

Bob Marks
Bob Marks

"-when you leave the airplane its all wrong til it goes right, its a whole different mindset, this is why you have system redundancy." Mattaman

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Hi Anne!

How you doing girl! Welcome to the forums!

What he said.......

Quote

Let me give you a father perspective. I have three children and one on the way due in May. I understand your concern but I don't think you should feel guilty.
Instead, use skydiving as a lesson to teach your children a number of things. That you can enjoy life, not matter what your age and circumstance. That you can include your family in your hobbies, even if they don't participate. Even more, you can teach them to reach out and go for their goals, not matter what others think or say, because you are in charge of your life. You should never have to look back on your life and say, "I should have done that" but didn't, because other peoples opinions are different that yours.

I do agree though, that you should approach skydiving with common sens and be conservative. I don't do hook turns, or swoop or anything like that, and my wing load is 1.2. What I tell other people is, I want to be a safe skydiver, and I want to live to skydive another day.

Each person has hobbies they enjoy, whether they have risk or not, other people look at those activities in different lights. People don't understand skydivers unless they are skydivers themselves. Or unless that person is my wife.
My wife has no intentions of ever skydiving due to her own reasons. But she is out there every day that I am out there jumping, supporting me, because she knows that’s what I like doing. I've asked her several times, if she wants me to stop. She gets mad at me when I ask, because she knows skydiving is a part of me, and if I stop, I won't be happy.

Sorry this is so long, but to wrap this up. "You" are living your life, and I believe showing your children valuably life lessons. Take the opportunity to explain those lessons to them. People will always criticize the unknown, because they are ignorant. You're right, “they just don't get it".

Be safe, enjoy your life, and I wish you Blue Skies and Calm winds to get out there and enjoy freefall.

By the way, my avatar is my wifes first ultrasound. Can't wait for the next one in a couple of weeks.



Basically what we were talking about and how I view it being a mum too. You can send yourself mad going what if, what if in many situations in life. Teaching a child to live their life is a valuable lesson. As long as they are not being neglected for your skydiving and you are safe, you will end up being that cool mum that everyone wishes they had. LOL. Not that you are'nt already!

You know you can't get enough of it chick!

See you at the weekend hunny!

Di
x

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I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter. I've been jumping for 12 years. I struggle with this question every day. It's not just a decision that you get to make once and you're done. At least not for me.

In my experience, I would rather be a role model for my daughter. Do I want her to grow up thinking that the most important part of life is going to the mall and starbucks and residing safely in suburbia? That might work for some, but it just not me. Being myself and being truely happy from within seems to be more important to me than trying to stay extra safe.

In the end we can't predict fate. We can only live a full and saticfying life. That's what I want for my daughter.

I do make careful choices about my skydiving. Educate yourself about the gear, the planes and become as self reliant as possible. Make good choices. Have fun and be safe. Show your children a Mommy who is beaming with happiness.

Works for me. Your milage may vary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Blue Skies!
Bonnie ==>Gravity Gear!

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Hi, I'm a mother of 2 (twin girls) They were 16 when I took my 1st plunge. They were just as excited as I. They were so mad when they found out they couldn't jump till they turn 18. I'm a guilt sticken person. Mater of fact...I just sold all my gear. When I cashed the check, the bank over paid me $1000.I returned it. (I couldn't live with that)
But any way, you have to think like this....This is what I tell people that think I'm crazy for skydiving. You jump in your car several times a day, with out a thought. Sure you take all safety precautions as possible. Yet day after day millions of people are killed on the road. And you put your children in the car! ( not meaning to add more guilt. lol) Just a point.. And thats just one example. Every thing we do in life is a risk.
If for some reason (god forbid) something does happens to you, Everyone will (or should) look at it like, It happened with something you LOVE to do!!! "At least thats the way I'd want people to see it, if it were me."
I think Bob Marks said it really well.

Be safe, enjoy the sport!!!!! "NO guilt ;)

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Ive never done any jumps (i'm just looking to get started here) but I do have a number of other 'dangerous' activities that I participate in (Motorcycling, Scuba diving and Snowboarding to name but three). I also have friends from these activities who have responsibilities like you (children, infirm spouses etc) and they are just as committed to their sports as I hope you (and I) will be to this.

I would say, though, that your guilt is not manufactured by yourself, rather it is a product of the fear and ignorance of others. Tell someone you want to jump out of a plane and regardless of how safe it actually is, all they will hear is of you jumping out of a plane and falling back to earth. They may also come out with the story that someone they 'knew' died whilst skydiving (rubbish) or that they saw a skydiving death reported on the telly (It's probably so rare that its been newsworthy). If you seek to educate these people, you may not get very far. Even though other 'safer' sports such as running or horseriding actually have a much higher proportion of injuries per head, my experiences tell me that this kind of argument is had at an emotional level - one you will have to rise above.

You shouldn't feel guilty - you should feel good that your children have a mother who values experience above mollycoddling and has the guts to back those values up.

Matt

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i have a son who will be 5 in may. i started jumping last july doing tandems, but am now solo. i have been asked several times if feel bad doing something like this and having a child. i've always been the one to wonder "what if?" and for the first time i actually have a hobby and true friends that are pretty much a family to me. i have learned that having a child doesn't mean your life is over and you can't enjoy anything anymore. my son loves being a part of anything i'm doing and loves being at the dropzone with me. we bring his bike out there, remote control cars, etc... and there are other kids out there too. he loves pretending to pack and knows the rules while in the hanger also. he says he wants to jump when he's old enough, which of course would be awesome if we ever got to do that together. everything in life is a risk and no matter what we never know what is coming our way, so why not enjoy life while you got it?

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There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One is roots; the other wings. -
Hodding Carter

Be safe and enjoy life.:P Teach your children to do the same or do the children teach us:o:D

...I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance ( to the full till it overflows).
John 10:10
Playtime is essential.

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Mate
i got the same grief from my in laws. Fuck 'em Think of the "my mum/dad is bigger/better/cooler than yours" arguments they are winning at school.

Chicks dig guys that jump out of planes !
"Chicks dig guys that jump out of Planes! "

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Ann,
If you are even struggling with this question it shows that your heart is in the right place concerning your children. But as all the other sages here have pointed out, we cannot be safe in this life, we can only manage the risks. Skydiving is no different, and to shrink away from it because you have responsibilities is to short both yourself and your children. Show them how to properly enjoy life, without all the crutches and the false sense of security. My boys have both become skydivers, and realize from their experience that Dad is not crazy, and that life is an adventure if you are willing to meet the challenge. B|
Blue Skies, Safe Landings!
Bill

Just burning a hole in the sky.....

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