BounceProof BASE Course

[dantheman 0]

I have been following with great interest the saga of 'Ray and Spence's bounceproof BASE course,' and how you have been trying to get it off the ground( or is it on to the ground?-whatever!)
I was particularly interested in the case of your monkey student and its appauling behaviour.
Throwing crap all over the t-shirts is just not on! Especially as i was just about to order one( they do come in jade don't they?)
Shame about the monkey going in; my advise to you concerning any future badly behaved primates- is to spank the monkey!
I must be honest and confess that i have researched this technique and it works for me.
Having seen Ray do a few jumps in KL, and having spoken to some people that know him and jump with him, it appears obvious that he is a natural in this field and a fine exponent of the art!
Happy spanking!
Dan-the-Man (dolphin trainer #1) (can also do monkies.)

[Treejumps 0]

Damn Ray,

This is the funniest shit I've read in years. This should have been on the base board, but it would have been edited for humor. Keep up the great work!

Tree

P.S. I would have applied but I am shameful of the number of skydives I have made. Perhaps through zen meditation I can rid myself of the harm I've done by skydiving.

[ManBird 0]

Dear Mr. Gun,

I've never parachuted before, but I've decided that you will "first jump" instruct me. Upon acceptance of my application, you shall receive several dozen free t-shirts. Please answer quickly, as this is an impulse decision, and I have no desire to continue "parachuting" after my FJC.

"¯"`-._.-¯) ManBird (¯-._.-´"¯"

Click

[RayLosli 11]

I've never parachuted before, but I've decided that you will "first jump" instruct me.
Upon acceptance of my application, you shall receive several dozen free t-shirts. Please
answer quickly, as this is an impulse decision, and I have no desire to continue "parachuting" after my FJC.

"¯"`-._.-¯) ManBird (¯-._.-´"¯"

Ray and Spence Bounce proof, BASE Course

Dear...ManBird
Sorry for the slow response to your application. I have not made enough money as planed teaching
students to quit my regular job yet.
I would like to commend you on your choice of Instructors and FJC.

Mr. PhreeZone actually with a bit of Luck did score the -Last Students Slot- in Bounce Proof FJC.
With the lose of our Primate.

-BUT- You have never made a skydive. No canopy skill is a plus.
Also you say, you will not have a desire to make a Skydive after your FJC Because you just make,
( this is to good to be true.)-Impulse Decisions at the drop of a hat, without even thinking of the consequences.
Which show us We will have no problem getting you to Exit off those, Super Low training jumps.
Adding you will Bribe us with dozens of Free T-Shirts.

Mr. ManBird This application has touched our hearts here at Bounce Proof. These fine outstanding
Qualities are a rarity. Because we will most likely never find this caliber of applicant again.

We are adding a special Slot, giving you a Free Scolarship all exspence paid, and Private Instruction.
Congradulations Mr. ManBird.

Thanks.....Ray and Spence
be safe

[ManBird 0]

Kudos. You've made a wise choice. I'll do rather well. The t-shirts are on the way. The proposed logo for your newest venture is attached.

"¯"`-._.-¯) ManBird (¯-._.-´"¯"

Click

[base570 1]

Dear Ray and Spence,
while I do agree that my monkey did have an attitude problem and he didn't much like being told what to do, I will have to say that his untimely demise is because of the lack of supervision you had for your students. You can clearly see in that picture that was taken just a few moments before his last jump that he was not in his right frame of monkey mind. Look into his eyes what do you see? Not the fun loving monkey we all love but rather a lifeless gaze. You may not know what was on his mind but I do. These are his words in a letter to me written the day he died: "Eeeeak eeeak oooh ooh, ooooh eeak eeeeeeeeeaaaakkkk". You should be ashamed and apologetic for your other students behavior. This is truly horrible and no-one should ever be tortured like this. I know monkey jokes are funny but this was taking it too far.
I do apologize for the torn up gear, I think he was just reaching out for help.

I expect to be fully compensated for my loss of course. A fair settlement will be...
1. An apology from the 3 individuals who perpetrated this horrible act that drove him to take the drugs before he jumped and killed himself.
2. A name change for your company to include an asterisk * after the term "Bounce Proof" indicating "except mentally tortured, drug taking monkeys"
3. $50 US (not Canadian) to cover half the cost of the cool monkey skull drinking cup and bone sculpture I'm having made from his remains
4. 2 free slots at an upcoming Ray and Spence Bounce Proof* BASE Course.

If you will agree to these terms we can settle out of court.
Thanks for your time,
BASE 570

* except mentally tortured, drug taking monkeys.

[jeff666 0]

Could you give me a quick run-down of the characteristics of a BASE-specific rig? I feel like jumping.

[RayLosli 11]

If you will agree to these terms we can settle out of court.
Thanks for your time,
BASE 570


Dear BASE 570

After talking to my lawyer today. He advised me to tell you that the Monetary Judgment you seek is Invalid
We at Bounce proof FJC feel that you deserve no compensation for your claims.

You are not the legal guardian of the primate.
Unless there is some Medical DNA evidence you would like to submit that you are a possible relative.

The primate signed the Waiver of his own free will. Freeing us from all damages sought by you the complaintent.

After an intense interview with the other primates, by our Sign language expert.
Several of the other Primates have put there signiture on a Sworn Affidavit, saying that
the Monkey purchased the drugs and alcohol he consumed from You.

So basically what we here at Bounce Proof are trying to tell you is that
you can go screw yourself.



thanks.......Ray and Spence

[RayLosli 11]

Could you give me a quick run-down of the characteristics of a BASE-specific rig? I feel like jumping.

..........................................................................


Ray and Spence Bounce Proof, BASE Course

Dear....Jeff666

This is an extremely difficult technical question for us to answer here at Bounce Proof FJC.
Please refer your question to: [email protected] for a lengthy but rewarding answer.


thanks....Ray and Spence
be safe

[avgjoe 0]

Dear Ray, Spence &bounceproof BASE course

I would like to suggest you change your focus to training more primates instead of humans. Although you have had a fatality it is more important that we get more monkeys flinging feces at everyone This will increase the number of jumpers we have flinging fecal matter and increase our overall enjoyment.
Thank you for you time
Avgjoe

[TheMonkey 0]

Quote

How do you plan on keeping the monkey from trying to climb back up the lines and spiralling or collapsing his parachute into the lines? What if he starts to throw crap at you from the exit point?

spank him

---------------------
Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!

[BASE813 0]

Although I find threads like this a good giggle and keeps the humour on the board I am just slightly confused that myself and a few others have been PM'd in the past by the moderator to stop the humour and one liners getting onto this board and have even had posts deleted to keep in line with this ruling.

So whats the deal here? If your a friend of the moderator you can post just about anything and even the moderator will join in with the banter? Its just us mere mortals that will be policed and will not be able to post one liners or subjects away from the suposed "reason for the board"?

I dont mind if there is humour on this board and I dont mind if there is not. What I do mind in the consistancy in policing this board. Make your mind up - to humour or not to humour - that is the question.

Thoughts?

[hookitt 0]

Quote

Thoughts?

Yes...
Let good things play themselves out with out bringing attention to it. There's no harm in it.

I like the thread. As rediculous as it may be, It has been entertaining and possibly even useful.

Besides, Look at how many hit's this thread and the other thread have recieved. It's one of the very reasons there's been so much traffic in this forum lately. It's like a soap opera ... Yesterday on Bounce Proof Base, Ray ridiculed hookitt for the amount of skydives under his belt, and soon killed an Ape... stay tuned until the next episode....

Also, I'm proud to (re)announce that I've been accepted as a student of the Bounce Proof BASE shool. Hopefully Because of it, I'll be less likely to go by way of the Primate.

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto

[TomAiello 25]

Quote

I dont mind if there is humour on this board and I dont mind if there is not. What I do mind in the consistancy in policing this board. Make your mind up - to humour or not to humour - that is the question.

Here's my general reasoning on this:

1) Humor is fine. One line zingers that only your friend gets are better done in PM. Jokes unrelated to BASE belong in Talkback. So if you post "hey, you look sexy in that pink hat..." it ought to be a PM. If you post "so, three guys walk into a bar..." it goes to Talkback.

2) This thread, while couched in humorous terms, is really part of a more serious discussion in the "BASE without Skydives" thread. While Ray may have chosen to make his point in a humorous manner, he is still trying to make a point about BASE without prior skydiving training. That means that this thread fits very well into the underlying nature of this forum (discussions about BASE, generally focussing on people who are starting, or thinking of starting BASE).

In short, I disagree with your basic premise that this thread is not BASE related. Despite it's humorous approach, it is a thread about the idea of BASE jumping without prior skydiving experience. That's clearly BASE related.

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[BASE813 0]

Ok that is a fair point, the humour in this particular post has a serious point and is worthwhile, but saying this, it is still common for other threads to have the “witty” one liners from people – but it seems that some people are policed more so than others. To me it does look as if there is some preference over some people. There was a time when I was PM’d several times about this and my posts deleted but other more “well known” people were able to continue their banter. I felt this to be a little inconsistent. I am not having a dig at you as such Tom – you do a great job on the whole – you use a lot of your spare time up on these boards. I just dislike clique mentallity (although probably guilty of it myself at times) and If people feel this way then maybe they wont visit or post to the boards as much as they like to.

Just an observation that’s all…….

Take it easy

M

[TomAiello 25]

Quote

...but it seems that some people are policed more so than others.

My apologies if it appears that way. I try to be as fair as possible.

If you see something that sticks out, drop me a PM, and I'll have a look.

Remember that I do have a limited amount of time, so I'm more likely to police people who are prone to repeated one liners, in the hope of cutting the amount dramatically, than to remove the only innapropriate post that someone has ever put up. The flow of communication is the important thing, I think. If the one liners and inside jokes, responding to each other, exceed a full screen, you can almost be sure I'll jump in. Until that point, it will depend on how much time I have on any particular day.

-- Tom Aiello

[email protected]
SnakeRiverBASE.com

[RayLosli 11]

Ray and Spence Bounce proof, BASE Course

I have to admit that putting a person off a fixed object once in a while for there first BASE jump has been fun.
It has NOT been my Life Long Dream to start a BASE School, and to put students off a fixed object
Human or Monkey.
Both I and my Canadian / wana be American, partner in crime don't mind putting a primate off for a BASE jump for the first time with no regard for his life, or limb. That's what little furry monkeys of lesser importance are for.
***They Are Here to Amuse People Who Don't Care About Them.!!!***
Until we just gave up and started Bounce Proof FJC we did have a caring attitude and gave the utmost
in the safety effort of the first time jumper. I and the staff here used to have a conscience.
Having had some BASE experience we mistakenly where given the knowledge that sometimes it is just
F#%+ing hard to stay alive even if you think you know what you are doing.
We just did not feel like arguing over, & over, & over, & over, & over, back and forth with a person or
people who just don't get it. Not everyone can be lucky enough to get away with it.
Personally I don't have the gift to read a first time jumpers mind to judge there abilities and know if
they can BASE jump without any Skydives first.
If you want to do that it's OK with us because we don't care anymore. that was the point of
-Ray and Spence Bounce Proof, BASE Course.-

Also I would like to say that in the 4 or 5 months that I have used this talk forum and Blink I would like to bet that I have been Locked out and censored more than you. -I get no special treatment-.
We are just a little slow around here understanding the rules and using them to our best advantage to
Get Our Point of View Across. we are catching on though.
I have also discovered that I am as Illiterate as the Common Australian BASE jumper.

We here at Bounce would like to thank everyone who has participated and read this thread.
Also we would like to thank you for putting up with my Mastery in the use of Third Grade Humor,
We at Bounce Proof FJC don't approve of Jack Boot Nazi Censorship that is sometimes used
but that is just our opinion

We would like to thank the Owner and moderators of DZcom for letting us borrow the power
of communication that you provide and do not take it lightly

**** -THE END- ****

Thank you....Ray and Spence
be safe

[Faber 0]

Quote

I dont mind if there is humour on this board and I dont mind if there is not. What I do mind in the consistancy in policing this board. Make your mind up - to humour or not to humour - that is the question.

Thoughts?

i think there should be humor like this on this board,just sad to be one of thouse who were pméd before about similar giggling..

Tom i respect you for the guy you are and your oppinions,but make the rules same for all

Stay safe
Stefan Faber

[GravityGirl 0]

Dear Ray,

Is there hope for me? My skydiving habits are so ingrained that the last time I tried to fly a BASE canopy set-up, I thoroughly wrapped it around a tower.

After reviewing your qualifications, I am certain that you are my only hope.

Anxiously awaiting your reply....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Blue Skies!
Bonnie ==>Gravity Gear!

[avgjoe 0]

Bump. Needs to look at Miles D thread