Farwell, my friend

[Dd0g 0]

There are times in life when we laugh, and there are times when we cry. Then there are times when we do both at once, this is one of those times.

Dwain was the unquestioned best of the best in the sport of BASE, a leader in all areas over so many years. Dwain was also my best friend, and someone I'll miss more than I can possibly imagine. Dwain taught me BASE; I taught him to climb. He taught me to surf; I taught him to dance. We spent so many hours together over the years: driving to objects in the middle of the night, coming back from surfting on the Oregon coat tired and wet and hungry, sitting on the sofa at Nik's watching movies, generally goofing off.

In all the hundreds of hours we spent together, I dont' think we ever really disagreed about anything. He was the only person in the world with whom I was completely comfortable, never feeling anything but at ease with a kindrid spirit. Even in moments of extreme exhaustion, and certainly in moments of incalculable danger (and we certainly shared far too many of those little adventures), we seemed to just operate on the same frequency.

The only time he ever got really mad at me was when I stole his rig in Malaysia and jumped it for all the world to see, thanking "my dear friend Dwain for this exceptionally careful packjob." Even that anger faded fast as he cracked his crooked grin and admitted he'd have done the same thing in my position.

We were just kindred souls, too similar on too many levels to be anything but soulmates by default. I shared his highs and lows, he shared mine. I shared in his stories of sexual adventures, he shared in my stories of chemical excess. We shared so many BASE adventures, opening objects and jumping in conditions no sane person would consider. I was probably the only person who could follow him off many exits, and I did a few he wouldn't repeat himself. He taught me aerials, I rotated gainers faster than he did.

We laughed so goddamned hard together, so hard our stomachs hurt. We laughed at ourselves, and at the utter absurdity of the world. Dwain and his plans for his cult, talks about technical stuff and about BASE gear. Hundreds of emails back and forth, countless phonecalls late at night, relationships started and ended. Depressions, high points, low points, boredom, total excitement, driving and hiking and climbing and jumping and flying and soloing and rolling together.

And now he is gone forever.

I think that so many people around the world know Dwain as the absolute ruler of BASE. Sadly, so few really got to know him as Dwain. Me and Slim and Karin and Ray and DJ and Tom and a handful more saw the really beautiful sides of him. Fuck the jumping and the technical brilliance, the really great parts were the sardonic humor and the hairbrained plans that he'd take just a step further than anyone else, and that sometimes came together in truly spectacular accomplishments.

And, of course, Nik. Dwain never really got over the loss of Nik. Few knew how close they were; they, too, were absolute soulmates and they seemed to balance one another's highs and lows. Both with enough ego to spare, neither took the other too seriously. When Nik passed on, the world changed. It was the end of an era, something Dwain and I knew at once. The house where we all gathered, the weekend trips, the crashpad after late-night parties, the barbequeues. . . it all died with Nik, and a big part of Dwain died too. We mourn loss, but can our mourning undo it? No.

Dwain saw and lived through so many horrible moments in BASE, and they rode heavy on his soul. Try has he did, he could not shake feeling responsible even though he knew logically he was nearly always the one who quietly held people back, prevented tragedies, pointed out errors before they happened. Now, I carry the burden of responsibility as Dwain leaves us all behind.

I knew this call would come someday, much as Dwain and I joked about growing old together and telling stories of days gone by to while away the years. Some people burn so bright, it is as if by some law of energy conservation they just can't go on like that for long. Loving Dwain meant loving and accepting that part of him, too - and that was never easy to do. I've twitched for years when the phone rings and I suppose I'll go to my own grave doing so. Just too many calls that one never wants to hear.

Frasier already misses his dear, dear friend. The adventures the two had together! Funny how Dwain bonded with dogs, I am sure Sabre will miss him dearly as all the rest of us do. I feel for his family terribly; to have lost someone like this, someone who reflected so much the love and caring of his parents in how he embraced life. He was such a beautiful soul, even the parts of himself he didn't like. There is no light without darkness, and Dwain had both in ample supply. The light he shared with all the world. The darkness, he kept mostly to himself. I wish I could have taken more of that darkness from him, enough to more than balance it all out. I know he did that for me, over and over again.

I miss him so much, it feels like my world has lost one of it's dimensions and is utterly flat. I'm angry and crushed and confused and bitter and remorseful and contemplative and just so, so sad. A big part of me died yesterday, and I'm trying to make sense of how life goes on from here.

Dwain was a brilliant man, a genuine friend, and an enigma even to himself. He as my best friend, someone I'll never forget as long as I live. He's touched many lives, but it is the impressions he left on me that feel the most empty right now. He and I spoke for hours and hours last week, we laughed and we cried and we shared the old times. I'd give anything to share just a bit more with him, as there's nobody else who really knows anymore.

I send condolences to his many other friends, and to his family, as well as thanks to the many dear friends of mine who have sent their good thoughts and kind wishes. Even though I know it happened and I knew it eventually would, I just can't accept that he is gone.

"Like a flower pressed flat and dried, we try to hold on to the past and say, this is exactly how it was the day I first saw it. But like the flower, the past cannot be trapped that way. It loses its fragrance and its vitality, its fragility becomes bitterness and its colors fade. And when next time you look on the flower, you know that it is not at all what you sought to capture, that that moment has fled forever."
Robin Hobb, Fool’s Errand, p. 661

Peace,

D. Spink
BASE 715
last student of Dwain Weston

+~+~+~+~
But this, surely, was the glory that no spirits, canine or human, had ever clearly seen, the light that never was on land or sea, and yet is glimpsed by the quickened mind everywhere.

[Zennie 0]

A very touching and eloquent tribute, ddog. My deepest condolences to you and everybody else who knew and loved him.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[narcimund 0]

Dwain trained you and you trained Raistlin and Raistlin trained me.... And everyone will be touched by him in the end.

First Class Citizen Twice Over

[gharendza 0]

Dwain,
The search for life still goes on.
We'll see you on the other side.
You're the Man!
Gerald and Nancy

[Dd0g 0]

Raist has been kind enough to start a page of Dwain photos:

http://dwain.e-raist.com/images/

Please email me any more you have, and we'll keep adding them.

Peace,

D-d0g

+~+~+~+~
But this, surely, was the glory that no spirits, canine or human, had ever clearly seen, the light that never was on land or sea, and yet is glimpsed by the quickened mind everywhere.

[pontefract 0]

I didn't know Dwain as you all did. I knew him as Dwain, the software engineer. He worked for us at Boom Vang for over two years. As a small company of 8-12 people, our family suffered a great loss over the weekend. Even though he left us this summer to move to Southern California, it nonetheless rocked our world when we learned about what happened.

It took us a while to learn about his passion for jumping off high things. Once he learned we were an accepting bunch, we learned all sorts of things about BASE. My business partner and I were fascinated -- he even helped Chad with his first parachuting jump (I was happy to stay home firmly affixed to the couch). Due to my background, Dwain would always come talk to me asking advice on how to rehab an injury. And his injuries were always the result of training for his sport -- a sprained ankle here, and trampoline injury there. I came to realize that he was a competitive athlete looking for an edge -- he trained with diving instructors at the pool to work on his aerial acrobatics.

As a mechanical engineer, I also had long conversations with him about the mechanics of flight. He knew more about aerodynamics and fluid mechanics than most of my fellow students in college. I remember when he got the wing suit. We talked about drag, lift, and vertical versus horizontal velocity.

When Dwain was here, I must admit that every Monday was a relief -- we heard too many stories about Dwain's experiences. We got tidbits of news here and there, but I think he was trying to downplay what he was going through. He didn't want his coworkers to be afraid. But it showed when he lost Nik. I'm not sure he ever got over that. But even then, he still was the same old Dwain. The funniest story I ever heard him tell was describing the tribute jump to Nik. Nik wanted his ashes spread during a BASE jump and Dwain did the honors. It didn't quite go as expected (for Dwain, or for that matter, for Nik). Dwain said Nik would have thought it the funniest thing that could have happened. So maybe that is the way Nik would have wanted it....

We'll miss you, Dwain.

_______________
John Pontefract
Boom Vang
Portland, OR

[ManBird 0]

I wonder if Dwain and Nik have hooked up yet...

"¯"`-._.-¯) ManBird (¯-._.-´"¯"

Click

[pattersd 0]

I'm sure the low pull contests have already started.

[bps 0]

I'm sitting in a bar right now with Per Flare, on an island in the South China Sea, both of us saddenned by the loss of an amazing man.

We're drinking rounds of beer, looking at pics of the fair-haired Aussie, and telling war stories. I'm sure we will go on for hours into the night.

I agreee with my Swedish friend -- Valhalla has become stronger yet again...

Bryan

[freakydiver 0]

Ddog - my deepest sympathies to you.

-- (N.DG) "If all else fails – at least try and look under control." --

[460 0]

Ddog,

THANK YOU FOR SHARING THESE EXPERIENCES!!! You remind what living and loving life is really about.

I can only say, with a similar experience with mentor Steve Morrell (BASE 174), that both lived in a way that was truly inspiring. I learned to enjoy life once exposed to this individual.

Remember not to be sad from what was taken from you. Remember that you've been lucky to have been so ENRICHED.

BASE 460

Looks like a death sandwich without the bread - Steve Deadman Morrell, BASE 174

[The111 0]

Dd0g:

I'm gonna have to agree with 460. As a low-time skydiver who has spent many hours wondering if BASE will be in my future... your stories of your adventures with Dwain have pushed me closer to a definite yes than I have ever received before.

I don't know much about BASE or its participants... ironically I only found out Dwain existed a few weeks ago when I stumbled upon an old post he made on this board. Even without knowing his accomplishments, I was immediately impressed by the intelligence and mastery of communication his post displayed... I could tell how important this sport was to him. When I read Tom's reply that we should all listen up because this was clearly the world's best BASE jumper, I sort of felt a little in awe.

Reading your posts about you and Dwain and your love for each other and this and other sports, I experienced a small amount of the passion that you both obviously felt for so many things... a passion that has lacked from my life in many ways recently, except for the small amount of skydiving I've done. Looking through the pictures you've posted of you and the "fair-haired Aussie" (he does have cool hair!) smiling together in beautiful locations, I could sense the adventures you've experienced. There have been many "cheesy" comments posted to the effect of "the brightest stars burn out first" or "it's better to die doing what you love than never really live"... that sort of "No Fear t-shirt slogan" material. Know that this is true. Reading your accounts of your happiness with Dwain and this sport, I was a little bit jealous, but extremely happy for both of you. You have obviously lived an amazing life and you should be proud of it.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post was. Someone somewhere commented that Dwain's incident could have prevented some whuffos from becoming future skydivers. As a low-time jumper who's never witnessed an incident, much less lost a friend, maybe I'm not qualified to say this, but I think that you shouldn't get into a high risk sport in the first place if you can't handle a loss like that. I always wonder when I read about someone who "reconsidered" why he jumped after losing a friend. The reality of an incident should not scare you into realizing it was possible all along. You should always be aware of this and be thinking of it every jump you make. Again, I'm getting off track, but my point was that in a really weird way, all of the talk about Dwain this week has made me feel a stronger "calling" from BASE than I ever have before... though I'm still not close to ready for it. His incident in itself did not attract me to the sport, but reading all of the wonderful things people have written about him, you included Dd0g, in spite of the tragedy that has happened, has allowed me to more effectively weigh the respective value of such a painful loss, compared to what you have to gain by following your dreams.

Dd0g, know that you and Dwain and the other people in your stories are among the chosen few who live what the rest of the world dream about. I only hope that I can one day feel your courage and love for life at an exit point when I am ready for this sport. Maybe our paths will cross one day... from reading your posts you sound like someone I'd love to meet.

www.WingsuitPhotos.com

[Dd0g 0]

My thanks for your kind words, and for the generous heart behind them.

A wise jumper (was it Tom or Dwain or Slim or Nik or someone else. . . I don't recall) told me that the hardest thing about BASE is losing friends, and that if we aren't able to embrace that part of the sport clearly and with honesty, then we'd best find a new sport. Dwain lost so many truly great friends in the sport; he knew the cost better than anyone.

BASE has brought me together with truly the most amazing, beautiful, interesting, complex, frustrating, intellectual, spiritual, corageous, ridiculous, hairbrained, brilliant people in the world. It has then taken them from me, one after another. If you join our sport, this will happen to you - it is wonderful, and it absolutely sucks.

Remember however that the beautiful bird singing in the forest is not meant to be held in a "safe" cage - if he is put there, he'll die. The shark must keep moving to stay alive - imprison him in a small tank and he drowns. Some people want to grab onto beauty and claim it all for themselves - fuck everyone else, fuck the rest of the world, and fuck beauty. They'd rather destroy it than share it with the world.

Fuck those people. The beauty is in the living, and it is for the living that we all rise each morning.

Peace,

D-d0g

+~+~+~+~
But this, surely, was the glory that no spirits, canine or human, had ever clearly seen, the light that never was on land or sea, and yet is glimpsed by the quickened mind everywhere.

[Kramer 0]

I didn't know Dwain, but after reading Dd0g's tribute, I feel like I've lost a friend.

My sincere condolences go out to those who feel empty at this loss. He's in a better place now.

-Kramer

The FAKE KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!!!!!!!!!

[base689 0]

D-dog,
I feel so sorry for Dwain, for your loss, for our loss.
Such an outstanding chap has just left us, and this is the most terrible thing. All the rest, if the event was his fault, if the fault was on organizer, if fault was on who didn't clear people off the bridge, now, it is not important at all.
The most important and most terrible thing is that we are left with only the memories of Dwain and what he did, since we have no more future about him...
My only regret is to have NOT been able to meet personally Dwain and jump with him, we came close few times, he wrote me: "#689, I am going to jump your terminal wall this weekend" at very last minute, and once for a reason, and later for another reason, we have never been able to hook up personally.
But from all the things I have read about him, the e-mail's we have exchanged, articles and posts by him, ALL aimed to improve safety of worldwide jumpers, always keen on sharing his WIDE knowledge about gear and techniques, I came to know him a bit more and realize he was such an outstanding chap, in ALL senses, not only as a BASE jumper. D-dog, next time you will be around this part of the world (obviously no need to tell you you will be my guest in my place ) I will take you to jump our objects, now we have plenty!!!!! We have got to celebrate life!!! I wish you the energy to cope with such a great loss, my friend.
See you soon

Stay safe out there
Blue Skies and Soft Walls
BASE #689 - base_689AT_NO_123_SPAMyahoo.com

[Dd0g 0]

A wise fellow and friend just wrote me the following words:

"Tough times don't last, tough people do."

Thanks, Neil - that really means alot right now. Let's usher these tough times off the stage for a while and queue up some good times again.

Peace,

D-d0g

+~+~+~+~
But this, surely, was the glory that no spirits, canine or human, had ever clearly seen, the light that never was on land or sea, and yet is glimpsed by the quickened mind everywhere.