Forums: Skydiving Disciplines: Canopy Relative Work:
Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal!

 


Orygun  (D 28120)

Aug 3, 2011, 1:58 PM
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Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! Can't Post

Thought I'd provide you all with an update. Here are the top 10 things I have learned so far...

10. I am morbidly obese…
…and because of that I am relegated to flying a “huge” canopy – nearly 100 square feet. In an apparent attempt to lessen the social awkwardness created by my “weight problem” – the team is having me wear more weights than I use when I go scuba diving.
9. I can run faster than I ever thought possible…
…see number 10.
8. Ibuprofin is better than Tylenol…
…since this “CRW Candy” is usually washed down with JD and coke, and the team is very health conscious, they use the pain killer that damages kidneys, not livers.
7. Jello shots are for breakfast…
…I really should have known THIS already – I mean, they are portable, fruity, cool, easily digested, and hard to detect on your breath.
6. I am a shitty canopy pilot, shitty, shitty shitty…
…I’ve taken a canopy piloting course or two, and always felt that I was a reasonably competent canopy pilot – OH HOW WRONG I WAS!
5. Two goats are worth 1 large bottle of Jack…
…important information considering these uncertain financial times.
4. I am a shitty packer, shitty, shitty, shitty…
…no D bag? Packing is like poking a cat out from underneath a porch with a wet rope on a 100 degree day. Oh, and hoping you haven’t packed a spinning mal….
3. When Stretch gives you the “Start Drinking” sign – even if its 10am on Sunday morning before you’ve made your first jump – its best to back away from the aircraft and start drinking…
…and get ready to catch tandems – thank God someone was considerate enough to buy cups with lids!
2. Sometimes when the guy below you in the stack is yelling – its not because you are doing a great job as base…
…its because you have kicked into his C lines and you are collapsing his canopy. Geesh – the guys can be SO touchy!
1. Never, Never – piss off Sharon…
…my first and most important lesson.


(This post was edited by Orygun on Aug 3, 2011, 2:01 PM)


sprtdth  (D 4730)

Aug 3, 2011, 6:29 PM
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Re: [Orygun] Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! [In reply to] Can't Post

Geez, kidsUnsure
Unless you've broken Rule #1, you don't know #9 is true.
#8 they use the pain killer that damages kidneys, not livers.
Uh yea! You have 2 kidneys, but, only 1 liver....ya have to prioritize


topdocker  (D 12018)

Aug 4, 2011, 8:04 AM
Post #3 of 8 (863 views)
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Re: [Orygun] Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! [In reply to] Can't Post

At least you have not had a "manny/peddy" yet!

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Orygun  (D 28120)

Aug 4, 2011, 9:03 AM
Post #4 of 8 (850 views)
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Re: [topdocker] Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
At least you have not had a "manny/peddy" yet!

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Oh Yea - Lesson Learned #11 - NEVER, NEVER - fall asleep.


topdocker  (D 12018)

Aug 4, 2011, 10:19 AM
Post #5 of 8 (835 views)
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Re: [Orygun] Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
In reply to:
At least you have not had a "manny/peddy" yet!

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Oh Yea - Lesson Learned #11 - NEVER, NEVER - fall asleep.

Lesson #11a- sleep with socks and gloves on.

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noname  (B 28024)

Aug 4, 2011, 10:53 AM
Post #6 of 8 (827 views)
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Re: [Orygun] Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! [In reply to] Can't Post

0) When the Team Wife comes home from work and gets out of her car, she does not want a hug, she wants a BEER!


Orygun  (D 28120)

Aug 4, 2011, 12:02 PM
Post #7 of 8 (818 views)
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Re: [noname] Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
0) When the Team Wife comes home from work and gets out of her car, she does not want a hug, she wants a BEER!

"Team Wife"??? - When's our honeymoon baby?


topdocker  (D 12018)

Aug 4, 2011, 1:34 PM
Post #8 of 8 (800 views)
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Re: [Orygun] Joined a CRW Team - This is DEFINITELY not normal! [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
In reply to:
0) When the Team Wife comes home from work and gets out of her car, she does not want a hug, she wants a BEER!

"Team Wife"??? - When's our honeymoon baby?

Guess I'm off this weekend then.

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