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Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude...

 

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Hooknswoop  (D License)

Nov 27, 2002, 7:27 PM
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

i have a bunch, but my favorite is exiting on a tandem before a tandem video pair. This works extra well if the tandem following us is related/known to my passenger. After I open, I point out the other tandem in free-fall. As the other tandem opens, and the video guy continues in free-fall, I yell, "OH MY GOD, THEY FELL OFF!". Wink

Hook


Scoby  (A 41205)

Nov 27, 2002, 7:31 PM
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Re: [dropdeded] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Yup, I know the prison speech by heart now. I've heard, "we haven't had a tandem fatality in weeks!" a few times.


buzzfink  (D 13652)

Nov 27, 2002, 10:10 PM
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Re: [Scoby] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Here is my My favorite:

Lets say John is the Tandem Instructor. I go up to the Tandem student and say "FIRST JUMP? They say "YEAH" I say "COOL. IT'S JOHN's FIRST JUMP TOO!"Shocked

They laugh and say "REALLY"? I say "NO, I WAS JUST KIDDING. HE'S JUMPED BEFORE BUT THIS IS HIS FIRST TIME ON THE BACK."Wink

Blue Skies!


Buzz


SpaceUnknown

Nov 27, 2002, 11:43 PM
Post #29 of 114 (2693 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

On my first tandem walking out to the plane the TM says:

Just remember, there's no need to be nervous. Think of it this way, you'll be the only jumper without a chute ;)

I looked around and confirmed, the pilot, the camera dude, and the TM all had chutes!

It was a blast!! I gotta get my tape out and digitize it!
James


(This post was edited by SpaceUnknown on Nov 27, 2002, 11:51 PM)


SweCow  (D 11213)

Nov 28, 2002, 12:45 AM
Post #30 of 114 (2682 views)
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Re: [Hooknswoop] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Sly Now thats evil! LMAO.....

Keep up the good work... hehehe...


bobsoutar  (D 5310)

Nov 28, 2002, 3:42 AM
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Been trying to get tandem students to wave their arms around and shout "Yippee, I'm going to skydive" and they move towards the door. None of them have done it yet but I'm sure it will freak the JM out if one ever does.


quatorze  (A 39233)

Nov 28, 2002, 4:09 AM
Post #32 of 114 (2679 views)
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Re: [bobsoutar] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Laugh That would be funny as shit... Scare the TM for a change


quatorze  (A 39233)

Nov 28, 2002, 4:23 AM
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Erik, Who did you do your tandem at Blue Sky, if it was Ken, his favorite is,
"Anyone seen my green pill?"

"uh no Ken, did you lose it?"

"Aw hell, I have the blue and the yellow, ones, that'll make green... let's fly."


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 28, 2002, 5:38 AM
Post #34 of 114 (2666 views)
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Re: [quatorze] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Erik, Who did you do your tandem at Blue Sky, if it was Ken, his favorite is,
"Anyone seen my green pill?"

"uh no Ken, did you lose it?"

"Aw hell, I have the blue and the yellow, ones, that'll make green... let's fly."

No, my first tandem was with Gene Stewart, and my next 3 were with Golden Dickie. Tongue I didn't really get messed with too much on my first jump, other than the usual, but Dickie was evil Sly Course that might also be because two of them tandems were at the Harvest Moon Boogie... Hehe


(This post was edited by Cepheus on Nov 28, 2002, 5:40 AM)


jimmytavino  (A 3914)

Nov 28, 2002, 5:46 AM
Post #35 of 114 (2658 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Interesting topic,,, and we all know that skydivers have great ( twisted ) senses of humor Crazy
I like to joke around and have fun too.. but It's important to respect the students' frame of mind, and
THEIR degree of nervousness,, at the moment they are making their first jump..
I have been videoing tandems for eight years now,, and have seen most of the gags, and heard most of the jokes,, even made up a few over the years.....But I feel strongly that, that sort of stuff should be over and done with, before boarding the plane... sure a little light hearted banter helps while getting geared up, or shooting a pre jump "interview" with the first jump student.... But it really should be "all business" once the flaps go up, after rotation.....That doesn't mean you can't be funny ,, or joke around a little,, but NOT the type of teasing where the "unknowing" student,, is made to feel even a little uncertain... ya know??? Wink
We spend much of the training time telling the students, to listen to the TM , trust the TM, the TM will be your partner and "hero" for your jump..... and then go ahead and abuse that,, for some cheap laugh,, which the student,, doesn't even understand...The longtime TM's have developed the techniques to relax the student, keep things light, and still maintain the students' attention and assure that the first time jumper will perform properly... They don't have to rely on sarcasm, or deceit or some "stand up Comedian schtick" ..... which amuses their buddies, or the RW crowd, or the Freaks, or the other TM's,, at the expense of the students' frame of mind.. .It seems like it's the more recent TM's ,,(who by the way, had THEIR knees knocking, not long ago) who seem to think that they are obliged to demostrate their MASTERY, of jumping,, by teasing the person who is basically paying their WAGES on the jump...Think back to EXACTLY how nervous YOU were
on your first jumpUnimpressed,,, Joke around on the ground,, but once it's wheels up... act professionally.!!Mad....I have never attended a Tandem Certification Program... but I bet there is NO part of it, which says to betray the trust of the student, by making a bunch of macho, and scarey (to a first jumper, whose mind is not always as relaxed as the local "big mouth" experts )
comments, at a very critical phase of a students first jump.....TM's be sparing in your wisecracks,,,, and
regular jumpers,,,,,mind your own business,!! Think about YOUR.. skydive, if you say ANYTHING to a student, make it short, sweet, and POSITIVE !!!!
or else say nothing.....Save the Don Rickles routine for the fire pit..have fun,,, but be sensible..ok?Smile


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 28, 2002, 5:58 AM
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Re: [jimmytavino] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Think back to EXACTLY how nervous YOU were on your first jump

Actually, I kinda liked all the joking that went on, even after we were up in the air. Just about every single jumper in that plane was messing with me, and I liked the attention. Smile Besides, my TM already had my trust by that point. I wouldn't have jumped otherwise.

You bring up some very valid points, though, but I think it also depends on the person you're dealing with. If the student is obviously freaking out, seriously not being able to calm down, then no, neither I nor anyone else at my DZ would mess around. We'd do our best to calm the person down, assure them that they're going to have a great time, and spend our time helping the student to enjoy the ride up (it's up to them to enjoy the ride down, hehe).

Course, if the student was like me, I was pretty much inviting all the abuse. Laugh It was part of the experience, and I wouldn't have wanted to jump in a sterile environment anyway.

Again, you did bring up many valid points to remember, especially for those first-timers who are really freaked out. I haven't met any yet, myself, but I have only just started jumping. Smile

Thanks Smile


jimmytavino  (A 3914)

Nov 28, 2002, 6:17 AM
Post #37 of 114 (2652 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Roger That Cepheus...Smile

Thanks man,,, and you are correct,,, there are often exceptions to the rule...and some people are more receptive to jokes than others.....
and so as you point out,,,, we must use good judgement...Shocked
But even so serious joking and "ragging" on someone like you who I can see is very "cool" with it,,,Cool,,is OK i guess...... but what about the OTHER students in the plane,, who are peripheral
to the action,,,( but are still hearing all the chatter,,,directed at YOU.)... and it's having an impact on THEM!!! (unintentional
as it may be ) ... ya' follow????Wink... so maybe the trick is to have fun,, be lighthearted, but also be thinking,, and be considerate of others....and how they might be feeling on their first jump....
It's ALSO a big difference ,, if you are in a C 182 with just your TM and camera person,,,, as compared to an OTTER load with maybe as many as 5 or 6 Tandems......skydive hard,, skydive often,, skydive with friends..SlySmile


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 28, 2002, 6:32 AM
Post #38 of 114 (2647 views)
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Re: [jimmytavino] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
we must use good judgement...

That's all there is to it. Smile

Most of the time, if I mess with a student, it'll be very light-hearted, nothing serious-sounding. To me, it's more fun to me that they get the joke and realize I'm joking, than to be scared and worried or not know what i'm talking about... I don't like seeing that.

Also, if there are multiple students on the load, I'll aim my jokes and whatnot at all of them, and not single anyone out. That tends to keep things nice and light.


dropdeded  (A License)

Nov 28, 2002, 7:13 AM
Post #39 of 114 (2641 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Bought my sister a Tandem and video for her 40th.Tandem Master fakin asleep,acting lost,confused,freaked my sister out.Made a GREAT video.
Bought my neice a Tandem and video about a year later.Same TM,tried the same act, DENIED!! My neice told him,"dude,I saw that on my moms video".Oh man,the look on the TMs face is friggin PRICELESS !
That was the LAST reaction he expected Laugh

dropdeded
pcss#26


cop  (D License)

Nov 28, 2002, 7:39 AM
Post #40 of 114 (2632 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

We have one TM who use to introduce landscape to student while climbing flight ; " Look, there is cemetery of Malmi!" and "Let's compare altimeters.... you have red one and I have blue one"

If I remember right there is only one student who got the joke (atleast those tandems I filmed)


AirMail  (A 41633)

Nov 28, 2002, 11:11 AM
Post #41 of 114 (2624 views)
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Re: [Hooknswoop] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

On my first tandem, all the joking was done on the ground (except for the fake harness hook up problem).

On the ground while I was getting in the harness, the camera guy said to the TM, "Isn't that the recalled harness?". Reply was "Yeah, but it's good for one more jump".

Patrick


MrHixxx  (D 24144)

Nov 28, 2002, 11:50 AM
Post #42 of 114 (2619 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Generally, I crack jokes about the 5th attachment point on a tandem harness...

But really, if you want to scare the tandem master right back. Talk about how you uncontrollably ball up when your scared or puke or shit yourself (gotta wear a Speedo for that one). They will start comforting you immediately...

-Hixxx


quatorze  (A 39233)

Nov 28, 2002, 5:52 PM
Post #43 of 114 (2592 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
No, my first tandem was with Gene Stewart, and my next 3 were with Golden Dickie

El Genio and the Big Dick...wow, you're a brave little man.Tongue Did Gene give you your tandem breifing in Spanish or did he play nice?Laugh And as for Dick... uh intimidating, enough said.

Quote:
tandems were at the Harvest Moon Boogie

You are a brave soul, CASA, Rodriguez Brothers, Muff Brothers, the Outlaws, the Tuck Brothers... you really didn't need your tandem master to try and scare you, that is intimidating enoughTongue


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 28, 2002, 6:52 PM
Post #44 of 114 (2578 views)
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Re: [quatorze] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
El Genio and the Big Dick...wow, you're a brave little man.Tongue Did Gene give you your tandem breifing in Spanish or did he play nice?Laugh And as for Dick... uh intimidating, enough said.
Hehe, Gene was having a little bit of fun... I was the only guy who was doing a tandem that day, so we played around. Smile As for Dickie, well, as long as I made sure his hair was decent, all was right in his world. Tongue

In reply to:
You are a brave soul, CASA, Rodriguez Brothers, Muff Brothers, the Outlaws, the Tuck Brothers... you really didn't need your tandem master to try and scare you, that is intimidating enoughTongue
Bah, it was all good Tongue Nothing better than having a load full of smartasses, heehee Smile Learned quite a bit that day... Even think I made it onto the boogie video. My second jump with Dickie that day was unstable, and whew does he know how to disorient someone... Tongue Loads of fun Smile


eyeinthesky  (Student)

Nov 28, 2002, 8:46 PM
Post #45 of 114 (2550 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

everyone jokes a bit at our dz in KY. ive never done a tandem but was watching our new instructor get ready with the other TM. he said to the other TM's student, "when the parachute finally opens, you'll feel a big jerk, but dont worry, that's just jim". i about fell over. and i remember on my second jump a first time student messed with the JM. we were boarding the plane and he looked at the JM matter of factly, pointed to his reserve cord (static liner), and said "so, when i let go of the strut, i pull this?". haha, he caught the JM off guard, im sure the students rarely pull one on the instructors. everyone at a DZ has to have that kind of sense of humor, uptight people arent the kind of people who jump out of planes!


never let anyone in your will pack your chute!


mccordia  (D 94775)

Nov 29, 2002, 4:02 AM
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Re: [eyeinthesky] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Most times the JM is making sure the passanger has fun on the ride up...usualy someone on the load wishpers in the passengers ear 'don't mind him..he always does that when he's drunk'


JumpCrazy  (B 5282)

Nov 29, 2002, 5:24 AM
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Re: [mccordia] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Here is a real confidence booster for first timers: (my signature). I heard this one before my first AFF.


Ron

Nov 29, 2002, 8:48 AM
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Re: [JumpCrazy] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

My favorites:

While hooking the student up:
Me: Hey (other TM), What is this thing for? (grabing ripcord)?

Other TM: I don't know?!!? I think its the stringy thingy.

Me to student: When do I pull it?

After landing....If I have a cute female:
How did you like being strapped to a man?

One time I have the student grab my crotch, and say....I LIKED IT A LOT!!.

She got me.

Ron


Casch

Nov 29, 2002, 11:38 AM
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Re: [Ron] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
One time I have the student grab my crotch, and say....I LIKED IT A LOT!!.

Hell Yea! I knew I got into the right sport!


jimmytavino  (A 3914)

Nov 29, 2002, 4:29 PM
Post #50 of 114 (2425 views)
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Re: [Ron] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

 


....Yeah Well....UnsureUnsure

You can be sure that if I came to your DZ with a person who wanted to make a tandem,,, and if THAT person was At ALL important to me ,,, i.e. a family member or friend,,,,,YOU would not be taking them on ANY kind of skydiveMadMad.. and I
ain't kiddin'UnsureMad...
There WAS a case a few years ago where a female tandem student felt the TM's flirtatious behavior
"crossed the line",, she filed a lawsuit,,, claiming that the guy was a pest Pirate from the get go.... and that in the course of the opening and canopy descent,,,he "groped" her.....made for real difficulty for the drop zone,,, the DZO and the instructor....
Lets be SMART out there!!!Unimpressed


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