Nov 27, 2002, 12:27 PM
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Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude...
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When I did my first jump, I was the only first-time jumper on the load. Everyone else had 500+ jumps, if I remember correctly... As a result, I had a pretty fun time listening to all their little 'get the first-timer nervous' jokes.
Heard fun things said to my tandem master like "So when are they going to let you go by yourself?" or "Hope you took your pills this morning," or "So how long have you been sober? Couple days now?" Heard plenty of "Where's your parachute?" Fun stuff like that.
So my question is, what do you guys say to lighten the mood (hehe) for the poor, unfortunate first-time jumpers?
Nov 27, 2002, 12:34 PM
Post #2 of 114
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude...
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I just remember something about landing off and cartons of cigarettes.(there is a prison right next to the DZ).
dropdeded pcss#26
PhreeZone (D License)
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Nov 27, 2002, 12:36 PM
Post #3 of 114
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude...
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I once joked about what would you (the Tandem student) do if the plane lost an engine. Me and someone else was joking about airplane crashes and stupid pilots and thats why we jump. I guess at the DZ I was at (not my home) you can't joke about that or even mess with the tandems with out people getting mad.
The 5th attachment point, the belt buckle, the they let you out of the asylum so soon things are all typical.
Nov 27, 2002, 12:39 PM
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude...
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Once they're hooked up go "can you feel my belt buckle?" tandem:"Yeah, its digging into my back..." TM:"I'm not wearing a belt..."
TM:"yelling and screaming is ok, but if it bothers you, tell me and I'll stop..."
Packer/staff:"Hey [TM's Name] did you remember to take your medicine?" TM:"Why, its not after 11am..." (works when its 3pm or so) --variation-- TM:"I forgot, I'll just take 3 when I get down, that should makeup for it..." --variation-- TM:"yeah, the little white one..." Packer/staff:"No, you're supposed to take the big white ones on Saturday!" TM:"Oh! Damn, well I guess when I get back I'll need to lay down for a couple hours then..."
-- As a packer is handing the rig to the TM: Packer:"let me know if it opens, its my first time to pack..."
We have a whole lot of other ones we use, but most are sort of on the fly off the tops of our heads.
Nov 27, 2002, 12:59 PM
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As we are taxing for take off in an Otter....... Tandem Student: "Why does everyone on the plane look so worried?" Tandem Master (me): "This airplane is 35 years old. Our pilot is only 32 years old. Do the math....Plus, when we take off, we will be travelling down the runway at 90+mph, towards a 50 foot stone wall at the end of the runway. If we don't clear the wall, well......" Tandem Student: "What everyone doing now?" Tandem Master (me): "Thinking light."
Nov 27, 2002, 1:49 PM
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You (to TM): "did you take that red pill for your headache before we got in the plane?" TM: "Red? I took the blue one !!" You: "The blue one was viagra !!!!"
and watch the student's face (works on males and females)
Nov 27, 2002, 2:30 PM
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Get the pilot to 'accidentally' leave the PA on while beginning to taxi, and then have him mention to the copilot how he's so hungover he probably couldn't even drive right now...
Nov 27, 2002, 3:03 PM
Post #19 of 114
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I was being a practice student for someone working on their rating. The whole otter was full of tandems and for some reason we were going out first. Well as a joke i grabbed onto the bar and starting screaming "nooo" and screamed the whole time as the TM in training grabbed my arms and jumped out. I was told later that i really freaked out some of the tandem students.
Nov 27, 2002, 3:05 PM
Post #20 of 114
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Re: [sunshine] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude...
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In reply to:
I was being a practice student for someone working on their rating. The whole otter was full of tandems and for some reason we were going out first. Well as a joke i grabbed onto the bar and starting screaming "nooo" and screamed the whole time as the TM in training grabbed my arms and jumped out. I was told later that i really freaked out some of the tandem students.
Ooooh, that is SOOO mean! I have GOT to remember that!
Very nice work. 
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