Forums: Skydiving: Tandem Skydiving:
Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude...

 

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Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 27, 2002, 12:27 PM
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Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... Can't Post

When I did my first jump, I was the only first-time jumper on the load. Everyone else had 500+ jumps, if I remember correctly... As a result, I had a pretty fun time listening to all their little 'get the first-timer nervous' jokes. Smile

Heard fun things said to my tandem master like "So when are they going to let you go by yourself?" or "Hope you took your pills this morning," or "So how long have you been sober? Couple days now?" Heard plenty of "Where's your parachute?" Fun stuff like that. Smile

So my question is, what do you guys say to lighten the mood (hehe) for the poor, unfortunate first-time jumpers?


dropdeded  (A License)

Nov 27, 2002, 12:34 PM
Post #2 of 114 (6328 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I just remember something about landing off and cartons of cigarettes.(there is a prison right next to the DZ).

dropdeded
pcss#26


Premier PhreeZone  (D License)
Moderator
Nov 27, 2002, 12:36 PM
Post #3 of 114 (6322 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I once joked about what would you (the Tandem student) do if the plane lost an engine. Me and someone else was joking about airplane crashes and stupid pilots and thats why we jump. I guess at the DZ I was at (not my home) you can't joke about that or even mess with the tandems with out people getting mad.

The 5th attachment point, the belt buckle, the they let you out of the asylum so soon things are all typical.


AggieDave  (D License)

Nov 27, 2002, 12:39 PM
Post #4 of 114 (6317 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Once they're hooked up go "can you feel my belt buckle?" tandem:"Yeah, its digging into my back..." TM:"I'm not wearing a belt..."

TM:"yelling and screaming is ok, but if it bothers you, tell me and I'll stop..."

Packer/staff:"Hey [TM's Name] did you remember to take your medicine?"
TM:"Why, its not after 11am..." (works when its 3pm or so)
--variation--
TM:"I forgot, I'll just take 3 when I get down, that should makeup for it..."
--variation--
TM:"yeah, the little white one..."
Packer/staff:"No, you're supposed to take the big white ones on Saturday!"
TM:"Oh! Damn, well I guess when I get back I'll need to lay down for a couple hours then..."

--
As a packer is handing the rig to the TM:
Packer:"let me know if it opens, its my first time to pack..."


We have a whole lot of other ones we use, but most are sort of on the fly off the tops of our heads.Smile


Premier skybytch  (D License)

Nov 27, 2002, 12:45 PM
Post #5 of 114 (6307 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Said to the student about the instructor - "If he does good this time, next time we're going to let him go by himself."

And of course the old standby said to the instructor - "you did take your meds this morning, didn't you?"


Jib  (C License)

Nov 27, 2002, 12:46 PM
Post #6 of 114 (6307 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

To TM: How was your vacation?
TM: Vacation? You mean probation?
-----
TM: What did I do with that instruction card?


(This post was edited by Jib on Nov 27, 2002, 12:47 PM)


Premier PhreeZone  (D License)
Moderator
Nov 27, 2002, 12:50 PM
Post #7 of 114 (6297 views)
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Re: [PhreeZone] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

TM pulls Tandems for Dummies book out from under the seat and reads it.

TM falls asleep on the ride up (for real)


LawnDart21  (D License)

Nov 27, 2002, 12:59 PM
Post #8 of 114 (6286 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

As we are taxing for take off in an Otter.......
Tandem Student: "Why does everyone on the plane look so worried?"
Tandem Master (me): "This airplane is 35 years old. Our pilot is only 32 years old. Do the math....Plus, when we take off, we will be travelling down the runway at 90+mph, towards a 50 foot stone wall at the end of the runway. If we don't clear the wall, well......"
Tandem Student: "What everyone doing now?"
Tandem Master (me): "Thinking light."

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!


trilete312  (A License)

Nov 27, 2002, 1:00 PM
Post #9 of 114 (6285 views)
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Re: [PhreeZone] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I heard one say, Since we are the last group to leave the plane and I have to hold on to you, you have to shut the door.


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 27, 2002, 1:05 PM
Post #10 of 114 (6275 views)
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Re: [LawnDart21] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Tandem Master (me): "Thinking light."

Oh that's evil Sly Very nice work. Smile


tadbad  (A License)

Nov 27, 2002, 1:22 PM
Post #11 of 114 (6252 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

My favorite is having someone "fall" out of the plane at a lower altitude...and then have someone look out the door and say "Hope he makes it".


Sebazz1  (D 23382)

Nov 27, 2002, 1:44 PM
Post #12 of 114 (6239 views)
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Re: [skybytch] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
"you did take your meds this morning, didn't you?"
Well I forgot to take them all week so I took all seven this morningSly


Sonic  (B 102345)

Nov 27, 2002, 1:49 PM
Post #13 of 114 (6235 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

You (to TM): "did you take that red pill for your headache before we got in the plane?"
TM: "Red? I took the blue one !!"
You: "The blue one was viagra !!!!"

and watch the student's face (works on males and females)


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 27, 2002, 2:18 PM
Post #14 of 114 (6217 views)
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Re: [PhreeZone] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I guess at the DZ I was at (not my home) you can't joke about that or even mess with the tandems with out people getting mad.

Jeeze, what fun is that? I loved those little jokes when I was doing my first tandem... It added to the experience.


Chivo  (D 26753)

Nov 27, 2002, 2:19 PM
Post #15 of 114 (6214 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I heard this once...

TM: "If at any moment you realize you don't want to jump, all you have to do is yell NO NO NO (three times)"

Student: "Ok.."

TM: "But since its gonna be very loud in the plane, all I'm gonna hear is GO GO GO, so we're going anyway!"

~Chivo


Spy38W

Nov 27, 2002, 2:30 PM
Post #16 of 114 (6205 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Get the pilot to 'accidentally' leave the PA on while beginning to taxi, and then have him mention to the copilot how he's so hungover he probably couldn't even drive right now... SmileWink


mouth  (D 24383)

Nov 27, 2002, 2:58 PM
Post #17 of 114 (6189 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I like to hang way out the door when checking the spot and looking for traffic. The newbies eyes get really big especially if I swing my feet out.Wink


Sonic  (B 102345)

Nov 27, 2002, 3:03 PM
Post #18 of 114 (6180 views)
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Re: [mouth] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

Then scream and then fall out Laugh


sunshine  (D License)

Nov 27, 2002, 3:03 PM
Post #19 of 114 (6181 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I was being a practice student for someone working on their rating. The whole otter was full of tandems and for some reason we were going out first. Well as a joke i grabbed onto the bar and starting screaming "nooo" and screamed the whole time as the TM in training grabbed my arms and jumped out. I was told later that i really freaked out some of the tandem students.Smile


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 27, 2002, 3:05 PM
Post #20 of 114 (6173 views)
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Re: [sunshine] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I was being a practice student for someone working on their rating. The whole otter was full of tandems and for some reason we were going out first. Well as a joke i grabbed onto the bar and starting screaming "nooo" and screamed the whole time as the TM in training grabbed my arms and jumped out. I was told later that i really freaked out some of the tandem students.Smile

Ooooh, that is SOOO mean! Smile I have GOT to remember that!


Casch

Nov 27, 2002, 3:05 PM
Post #21 of 114 (6173 views)
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Re: [sunshine] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

LMAO I woulda loved to see that!


swarley  (Student)

Nov 27, 2002, 4:50 PM
Post #22 of 114 (6134 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

My TM said he worked for the Post Office.
Hmmmmmmm (I went anyway)


sar911

Nov 27, 2002, 6:47 PM
Post #23 of 114 (6091 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I usually reach out and touch a part of their harness that has a thread end and say, " It's OK, the stitching should hold for at least one more jump"


superflie  (D License)

Nov 27, 2002, 7:09 PM
Post #24 of 114 (6080 views)
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Re: [Cepheus] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

I often say, "hey, remember to hook this one up."


Cepheus  (Student)

Nov 27, 2002, 7:27 PM
Post #25 of 114 (6073 views)
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Re: [superflie] Evil things to say to first time tandems on the way to altitude... [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I often say, "hey, remember to hook this one up."

oOoooo... Sly


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