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Skydiving Songs & Poems

 


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 1:46 PM
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Skydiving Songs & Poems Can't Post

Divers of the Sky

by Hank McCarrick

to the tune "Auld Lang Syne"


The plane is here; the time is near
We'll soon be climbing high
Then jump we must, come hell or bust
We're divers of the sky.
May all go well; our fall will tell
The chutes should open fine
If one be done, t'was worth the fun
For Auld Lang Syne.

As years are gone we'll carry on
Til time to turn to dust
Though weak and maimed, we can't be blamed
For jump by surely we mus.

So toast we may though old and gray
Our glasses raised on high
We'll take a sip for all the rip cord
Divers of the sky.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 1:48 PM
Post #2 of 101 (10589 views)
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The Phantom Tenth Man
by Jim Rogers

Flying Fred had cratered in
A week ago and now and then
We saw the spot where he'd been killed
The hole in the ground had just been filled.

It made us stop and it made us think
But we shrugged our shoulders and drank our drinks;
We knew the score when he got his:
Jumping from planes is a dangerous biz.

Fred had given up students and he'd given up style
And he only saw the target every once in a while.
Most of the time he walked country roads
Having just come down from an eight-man load.

Time and again we'd heard Fred say,
"Now save a place, 'cause on the day
That this state sees a ten-man fly
I'm closing tenth before I die."

Well, thinking of what we'd heard Fred say
We decided to hold a memorial day.
The first ten-man still gleamed in our eyes
So on this day we'd give it a try.

With chewing gum and refrigerator tape
We put our Beech into real good shape.
The pilot grinned at the dripping oil
Then strapped on a rig and said, "Let's roll."

The Federal Man thought otherwise;
He threw the book and said, "Look you guys,
You bounced old Fred when you were up last time;
The tenth man stays, You're going with nine."

With tears in his eyes someone got off the load,
Threw his gear in the trunk and drove off down the road.
With thirty-six jumps he'd have probably done fine
But Fred would be happy if we got the first nine.

The Beech took off in a black smoke cloud
Just under the wires and over the crowd!
Spectators ducked and faces got white
And we didn't breathe 'til we were in flight!

We were two hours late when we hit twelve-five
And the pilot yelled with fear in his eyes,
"Get ready you guys, we're going on in
'Cause we're out of gas! Better check my pins!"

"Man in the door!" came a muffled shout,
I was tyin' my shoes when the base fell out;
The pin was gone, then three, then four,
And then there was nothing but me and the door!

I dove head low, someone's boot in my mouth;
The prop blast hit as I flew out;
Tumbling plane overhead, falling bodies below,
Stable at last, but a long way to go.

I tracked so hard that I couldn't stop,
My breath was gone and my eyeballs popped!
Drilled a hole in a cloud and started to flare,
And when I came out the star was there.

I got a good grip and the star was round;
One eye on the needle and one on the ground
We started to break when we heard a yell
And across from me was a face from hell!

Trailing red smoke from an M-18
A phantom tenth man appeared on the scene!
We wanted to break but found we could not.
Our grips froze tight when he hit the slot!

I'll swear to this day it was Flying Fred,
He had surplus gear and his eyes were red!
With a laugh you could hear and a wave of his hand
He broke off the star just over a grand!

Nobody waved and nobody tracked,
The trees got so big we just unpacked!
Reserves went by! Out flashed my own!
But that red smoke flew towards the ground.

Out by the peas was the Federal Man
Timing low pulls with a watch in his hands.
Came the lowest pull of all that day
Because Phantom Fred was heading his way.

With a grinning laugh and a blast of wind
In a cloud of smoke Fred brought it on in!
Lightning flashed and thunder rolled!
When the smoke cleared away, there was just a hole.

White reserves started landing there,
The Beech was down in a field somewhere
The FAA didn't like all this;
The man staggered off to file a near miss.

We all looked at the hole; then we all shook hands.
It was legal now, our first ten-man.
Where Fred had gone we couldn't say
But our witness was the FAA.

That night over a beer we thought of a way
To salute Flying Fred's Memorial Day.
Where that smoke bomb hit, now a marker stands,
It says, "Boys, I was with you on your first ten-man!"


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 1:49 PM
Post #3 of 101 (10588 views)
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        "Jump Bummin' Around"

by Mule Ferguson

To the tune of "Just Bummin' Around"


Got a ole P.C.
Got my rig on my shoulder.
Got nothing to lose when I hit the blues,
jump bummin' around.

(Chorus:)
Whenever people start buggin' me,
I grab my rig, my Bell X-5,
and head for the ole DZ.
I ain't got a dime.
Just spend it on jumpin'.
I'm free as a breeze, and I do what I please,
jump bummin' around.

Well, I've jumped in DeLand,
Stone Mountain and Lakewood,
Elsinore, and The Inn.
I've made lots of friends,
jump bummin' around.

(Chorus)

Got a million friends,
All over the country.
Sometimes I get a DZ.
Sometimes I land in a tree.
Jump bummin' Around.

(Chorus)


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 1:51 PM
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Ghost Jumper in the Sky

by Rigger Mortis to

the tune of "Ghost Riders in the Sky"


An old Skydiver went flying out one dark and windy day
Upon the strut he waited as he flew along his way.
When over top the exit point he pushed off hard and strong.
And as he plunged on through the sky, he sang this happy song.
Yippee-I-Oh, look out below.
Skydiver on a delay.
Five thousand feet on down he fell his arms and legs outspread.
His back was arched and as he fell the wind roared past his head.
When at two thousand feet he frogged and came in for the string.
He groped along the harness fast and then began to sing.
Yippee-I-Oh Where did it go?
My ripcord can't be found.
On down he fell the Earth grew large. His time was running out.
He came in fast for his reserve and gave a dismal shout.
The Sunday papers fluttered by and through his fevered brain
Ran the awful certainty his hopes were down the drain.
Yippee-I-Yah, at least let them say,
Stable all the way.
Now when the days are dark and cold, the sky is black with clouds.
You'll see that lonely jumper fall struggling with his shrouds.
He falls through space eternally to make this message clear.
No matter how stable you are, your life hangs with your gear.
Yippee-I-Oh, when he says go,
Think of the gear you wear.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 1:53 PM
Post #5 of 101 (10585 views)
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The Student Jumpers Psalm


The jumpmaster is my shepherd
I shall not want
He maketh me to step out on the tire,
He leadeth my hand to the wing strut
He quieteth my panic;
He leadeth me in the joys of jumping for his name's sake.
Yea, though I jump into the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no malfunction;
For thou art with me,
Thy faith in my reserve -
It comforteth me.

Thou preparest a back pack before me
In the presence of my fellow students;
Thou covereth my head with plastic;
My knees knocketh together.
Surely fortune and kindness shall follow me
Every second of my delay,
And I will dwell in the harness of the chute forever.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 1:56 PM
Post #6 of 101 (10582 views)
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                      "Feelin' Stupid!"

by Duncan Mc Ewan

To the tune of "Feelin' Groovy."


Slow down, and let the dive last.
You don't need to get in that fast.
Or else, next thing you know,
you've gone below, and you're...

Feelin' Stupid!
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da
Feelin' stupid.

Hello lamp post, you're where I'm goin'
'Cause these damn ground winds keep a-blowin'
And since I spotted for this load,
I'm off the airport, and...

Feelin' Stupid!
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da
Feelin' stupid.

Hello ground, into which I burn.
'Cause I made too low a hook turn.
The ambulance gave me a new cast,
Now I can't jump, 'cause I

was Stupid!
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da
I was stupid.

I got no jumps to do, no loads to make.
I'm injured, and laid up, and grounded this week.
Let them all go and jump there without me this week.
All because, I

was so stupid.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da
I was stupid!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 5:50 PM
Post #7 of 101 (10553 views)
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Blood on the Risers

Military Version

Sung to the tune of "Glory, Glory"

"Is everybody happy?" cried the Sergeant, looking up.
Our hero feebly answered "yes" and then they stood him up.
He leaped right out into the blast, his static line unhooked.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
Chorus:

Gory, Gory, what a helluva way to die,
Gory, gory, what a helluva way to die
Gory, gory what a helluva way to die
He ain't going to jump no more.

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock
He felt the wind, he felt the clouds, he felt the awful drop;
He jerked his cord, the silk spilled out and wrapped around his legs.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
Chorus (above)

The risers wrapped around his neck, connectors cracked his dome
The lines were snarled and tied in knots around his skinny bones
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground
He ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus (above)

The days he'd lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind
He thought about the girl below, the one he'd left behind
He thought about the medico's and wondered what they'd find
He ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus (above)

The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild;
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, they rolled their sleeves and smiled
For it had been a week or more since last a chute had failed
He ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus (above)

He hit the ground,the sound was splat, his blood went spurting high;
His comrades then were heard to say "A helluva way to die";
He lay there rolling 'round in the welter of his gore.
He ain't gonna jump no more.

Chorus (above)

"There was blood upon the risers
There were brains upon the chute
Intestines were a dangling from this paratrooper's boots.
They picked him up, still in his chute, and poured him from his boots.
He ain't gonna jump no more!"

Chorus (above)


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 11, 2004, 5:53 PM
Post #8 of 101 (10551 views)
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                    "Don't Worry...Be Happy"

by Duncan Mc Ewan

To the tune of the same name.


In incident reports it wrote,
But when you read it, just take note, but...

Don't worry...Be happy!

If your main should have some trouble,
If you panic, you just make it double.

Don't worry...Be happy!

(Speak) Don't worry, be happy now!
(Speak) Don't worry...Be happy!
(Speak) Don't worry...Be happy!
(Speak) Don't worry...Be happy!
(Speak) Don't worry, be happy!

Ain't got nothin' above your head,
that doesn't mean you will end up dead, So...

Don't worry... Be Happy!

A 'functioned main is not too late,
So when you think it's sealed your fate...

Don't worry...Be happy!

(Speak) Look at me, I'm happy!

(Speak) Don't worry, be happy.

(Speak) Ain't got nothin' above your head
to make you happy?
Pull your reserve, it make you happy.
(Speak) Don't worry, be happy.

A snivelly op'nin' not your style,
End cell closures don't make you smile...

Don't worry...Be happy!

'Cause while you worry, you zoom right down,
And very soon you will hit the ground, so...

Don't Worry...Be Happy!

(Speak) Don't worry, be happy now!

(Speak) Don't worry...Be happy!
(Speak) Don't worry...Be happy!

Don't worry...Be happy!

(Speak) Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry...be
happy.

(Speak) Pull your reserve, don't let yourself hit the
ground.

(Speak) Don't worry.

(Speak) You can cut it away, whatever it is.

(Speak) Don't worry, be happy.

(FADE, END)


slug  (B License)

Mar 11, 2004, 8:49 PM
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Anyone know the words to the chant that Johnny Gates uses on the climb to altitude for the MB loads.
Heard it but can't remember it. It definately has a militaryTongue slant to it

LMAO MB65 has some good stories about the reactions from different pilotsMadCrazyShocked.

R.I.P.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 9:53 AM
Post #10 of 101 (10491 views)
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Don't know...
Can you hum a few bars?! Wink


****************************************


O Lord

O Lord, won't you buy me a brand new P.D.
All my friends have one, so why not me?
And give me a slicksuit, so I can fall free,
O Lord, won't you give me a brand new P.D.

O Lord, won't you buy me a brand new big plane,
And some good weather, no wind and no rain,
I can't really jump from a car or a train.
O Lord, won't you buy me a brand new big plane,

O Lord, help me dirt-dive a forty-way cat
Then into a diamond, or something like that.
A stairstep to a snowflake, and then turn and track
O Lord, help me dirt-dive a forty-way cat.

O Lord, give me money to jump all the time
I think five a day, every day, would be fine.
I'm so broke I've turned to a new life of crime,
O Lord, give me money to jump all the time.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 9:55 AM
Post #11 of 101 (10490 views)
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All-Girl Loads 1979
(original melody)

We're coming, we're coming, our Crack Choir band
On the fun side of jumping, we do take our stand.
We don't chew tobacco because we do think,
That chewing tobacco will grow you a dink.

(chorus)
Hooray, hooray, for all-girl loads,
All-girl loads, all-girl loads,
Hooray, hooray, for all-girl loads,
Cuz they put the fun back in jumping.

We don't wear tight jumpsuits because we know that
A skinny suit will only accent our fat.
And can you imagine a sorrier sight
Than a skinny suit molding to our cellulite?

(chorus)

We never do dirt dives because we surmise
That dirt dives will only detract from surprise.
And how could a dirt dive improve our great skill
When eleven maneuvers are the run-of-the-mill.

(chorus)


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 9:58 AM
Post #12 of 101 (10488 views)
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By the Book

by Frank Schoch



This is the tale of a daring young lad
Who kept hearing reports of a brand new fad.
Skydiving was the handle they gave this new game -
A sure way to glory, perhaps even fame.
He rushed to the bookstore and there on the shelf,
A magazine glared, "Skydiving, How to do it yourself"
He paid for the book and away he went,
To the nearest airport, his footsteps hell-bent.
He arrived at the field and told one and all
I am here to make a one minute free fall.
He put on a chute and climbed into a 182
And he and the pilot went into the blue.
He opened the book and proceeded to read,
Of proper spotting, its importance, its need.
The book also told how to stand on the plane's landing gear
See how easy!! There's nothing to fear.
He kicked off the wheel and on his back he spun.
The book said 'twas wrong even though it was fun.
The book said, arch hard and over you'll fly
To look at the ground and not at the sky
So he tried it with gusto and lo and behold
In a second it happened -- over he rolled
He thought with wild glee, aint't this a scene?
I'm doing tricks like a flying machine.
The book then said "Let's try a turn to the right
Bring your right arm in, but not too tight
Now counter a little, you're showing great style.
A glance at your panel shows you've fallen a mile."
Our hero thought, this book's the McCoy
Nothing I've done has provided such joy.
I'm flying around with the greatest of ease
Doing turns and backloops whenever I please.
He read further on to continue his lesson
He knew he was nearing the end of this session
On the next page were the words, unhappily written
"Continue instruction in next month's edition".


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 9:59 AM
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                          "60 Plus Delay"

by Bob Hartman

To the tune of "Wabash Cannonball".


He jumped out at thirteen-five
for a 60 plus delay.
He had no way of knowing
it was his fateful day.
He did a left 360,
and then he did a right.
Burned on through his series,
really racked it tight.

Then he did a barrel roll,
and broke into a track.
But when he pulled he pulled that ripcord,
he was flat upon his back.
His pilot chute did not come out.
His main would not deploy.
For he had not remembered
what he learned as a boy.

The packing pins were in the cones.
What a terrible mistake he'd made.
He should have packed his parachute
before "Cardinal Puff" was played.
He looked at his altimeter.
His teeth began to chatter.
He'd have to throw out his reserve,
or upon the ground he'll splatter.

He pulled that ripcord handle,
and much to his surprise,
out popped his girlfriend's living bra,
right before his eyes.
Twin canopies inflated,
much to his delight.
He knew that he'd be able,
to play "Cardinal Puff" tonight.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:03 AM
Post #14 of 101 (10486 views)
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                          "My Last Jump"

Anonymous

To the tune of "Beautiful Dreamer".
[This is the classic]

Please help me I'm falling.
I'm out of control.
Left the plane at 10,000,
and started to roll.

I tried to get stable,
by arching my back.
I arched so hard,
I passed my back pack.

Oh I clawed at the ripcord,
blind as a bat.
Got a hold of the harness,
Started jerking on that.

Then I grabbed for my chest pack,
with my left hand.
please help I'm falling
into the sand.

I just passed 200,
hurtling down.
The ants look like people,
here comes the ground.

I hollered "take pictures"
as I augured in.
There's no more fallin'
for this is the end.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:05 AM
Post #15 of 101 (10485 views)
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                           "High Fright"

A Poem parody by Duncan Mc Ewan, C-19645
(C) 1994.

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth,
and danced the skies with nylon sleeves for wings.

Earthward I've plummeted,
and joined the tumbling mirth of first jump students;
and done a hundred things, you would not be caught dead.
Spins, and loops, and tracked, high in the sunlit silence.

Spotting there, I've chased the relative winds along,
and flung my eager bod' through footless halls of air.

Down, down from the long, delirious, burning blue,
I've punched the windswept clouds with easy grace,
where never lark, nor even eagle flew.

And, with silent, lifting canopy, I've trod,
the high untresspassed sanctity of space;
reached out my hand,
and gripped the sleeve of God.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:07 AM
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Falling

(1980)

(to the tune of my Bonnie Lies over the Ocean)

I started a course parachutin'
A skygod I wanted to be,
Who cares for the theories of Newton,
When you're in the air falling free.

Falling, falling, the ants look like people to me, to me
Falling falling, the ants look like people to me.

I did my first jump on a dope-rope
And shut my eyes all the way down,
And just when I'd given up all hope,
The chute took me safe to the ground.

Chorus

They said I was ready for freefall
I'd pull the damn ripcord or bust,
I exited slightly unstable
And in Kevlar lines I was trussed.

Chorus

And now that I've got my A license
The skies are wide open for me,
With luck, common sense and good judgement
A skygoddess one day I'll be!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:08 AM
Post #17 of 101 (10482 views)
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                      "Francine Mc Filthy"

by Little David

To the tune of "Streets of Larado"

There was a young maiden of age fifty-seven.
Who drove a blank gore like you've never seen before.
She drank and she cussed, and she smelled to high heaven.
That's Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.

We went to a jump meet in Carson, Nevada.
The troops were all lined up at the Moonlight Ranch door.
But out in the bushes, one went for a quarter.
That's Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.

Old Francine the queen of barnstorming banditos.
Would punch out S.O.S. 'till her knuckles were sore.
She'd make Pope and Bishop, in seventeen seconds,
Then take on nine jumpers, that's skydivers whore.

Way back in the old barnstorming days, I flew an old jenny.
The struts were all broken, the fabric was tore.
And out on the jumpstep, stood Francine Mc Filthy.
The pride of Milpitas, that skydiver's whore.

Francine was married to old Ernie Perkins;
The wedding took place in the back of a store;
The troops was all drinkin' and fightin' and yellin',
And Ernie got cursed wid' a skydiving whore.

Old Francine looked lovely, she smiled at the preacher.
I pioneer, jumpsuit, the gown that she wore.
Behind her sweet back, she gave us the finger.
That raunchy old bastard, that skydiver's whore.

The marriage was short lived, and so was old Ernie.
He crashed through a church roof, and died on the floor.
Francine missed the funeral, for a night jump at Chico.
So what's more important to a skydiving whore.

Then one day it happened, her navy rig failed her.
She tracked for Lake Merrit, but just made the shore.
She closed bloodshot eyes, and smiled through her A.H...
And that was the end of our skydiving whore.

So hang your head low boys and cry in your muscat.
The pride of Milpitas is with us no more.
And the noise that your hear at twelve-five is not thunder.
But the voice of old Francine, our skydiving whore.

And now somewhere on that eternal drop zone.
Stands one who hollers and beats on the door.
Won't you break down and hand out a drink there St. Peter.
To Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:10 AM
Post #18 of 101 (10481 views)
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                 "Don't Worry About the Airplane"

By Russ Gunby.

To the tune of "Wabash Cannonball"


One day while at the airport.
With nothing to do.
I saw a man come falling,
streaming down from out of the blue.
I knew this man was surely dead.
i stood there frozen mute.
'Till heard the snap and the crack,
of his openin' parachute.

(Chorus:)
Don't worry about the airplane.
You're leavin' it behind.
Don't worry about the altitude,
it's up there all the time.
Don't worry about your parachute,
it'll always stop tour fall.
But if your slow, you're headed low,
to a smashing, crashing fall.

His canopy was black and gold;
great holes were showing through.
He glided north, he glided south,
he turned and stalled it too.
He landed at the target,
stood up so easily.
I asked him hoe he did it,
and this is what he said to me...

(Chorus)

When your hear the engines fading,
and dive out through the door,
and your speed builds up to terminal,
and you hear the wind's loud roar,
then you're flying free, and life's carefree,
'till the earth comes rushing fast.
Don't wait too long, 'till the ripcords gone,
or this jump will be your last.

(Chorus)

When you're reaching for your ripcord,
you know your time is running out.
You're headed down to eighteen hundred,
and your burble's not shook out.
Horizon's gone, you start to roll.
You spiral and zap out.
Unless you sprout some feathers, boy,
you better whip it out.

(Chorus)

Now all you men who drink a lot,
have not a thing to fear.
You jump on Sunday mornin'
full of whiskey, gin, and beer.
Pull out the chocks, load up the plane,
let's hear that Nordsmen's call.
And ride to the graveyard drop zone,
in a smashing, crashing, fall.

(New chorus:)
New worry about the airport,
you're leavin' it behind.
Don't worry about the lousy spot,
you can't track back in time.
Looking for the ripcords,
you can't find them at all.
The lake, the dump, the power lines;
one will stop our fall.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:12 AM
Post #19 of 101 (10480 views)
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                     "Ode to Diablo Skydivers"

by Little David

A Poem



Cartridge shell beside the freeway,
How came you there of little shell?
Could it be Diablo's finest
Passed this way to raise some hell?

Broken, bullet riddled stop signs,
Tell a tale of carefree drinking.
Could it be Diablo's finest
Passed this way to raise some hell?

Sparkling beer cans dot the roadside.
Reflected in them, star that shine.
Could it be Diablo's finest
Might have switched from beer to wine?

Forest fire beside the freeway,
Smell of smoke profanes the air,
Could it be Diablo's finest
May have lost a day night flare?


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:13 AM
Post #20 of 101 (10479 views)
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                     "Jumping down to Victory"

To the tune of "Song of Burgundy".


We are the men in chutes,
tough men in jumping boots,
jumping down to victory.

We are the paratroops!
hard hitting parachuters,
jumping down to victory.

Stand up, hook up:
Hit the door and go!
Downward, earthward,
our silken banners flow.

Lift your heads
and shout it-
There's no doubt about it;
jumping down to victory.

GERONIMO!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:15 AM
Post #21 of 101 (10478 views)
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                           "Norseeman"

by Linda Moore

To the tune of "Freight Train"


Norseman, Norseman, dronin' so loud.
Noreseman, flying up over the clouds.
Please don't tell them what flight I'm on,
so they wont know, 'till I'm down.

Norseman, Norseman, comin' round the bend.
Norseman, Norseman, circle again.
One of these days, fly that plane straight on
away from my home town.

Just one place I'd like to be.
Only one place in this world for me.
In the door of a Nordsman plane,
getting ready to jump again.

When I die don't bury me deep.
Bury me under runway concrete.
So I can hear ole seven-nine-five,
as she heads for the sky


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:17 AM
Post #22 of 101 (10477 views)
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"Orange Prayer"

by Hank Mc Carrick

To the tune of "Waltzing Matilda"


First time at orange, get a welcome hand from Lew.
Meet all the rest of his jolly good crew.
Then just dress up, and chute up,
and climb into the jumping ship.
If you are a jumper, then we'll pray for you.

(Chorus:)
Rib busting chest straps, ball busting leg straps.
Leg busting landings may break up a few.
But if God ain't a God, and Heaven ain't a place at all.
Just worship jumping and we'll pray for you.

Up climb the jump ship, working for some altitude.
Out goes the door when the DZ's in view.
Then a hard right, a hard left, a couple dozen changes more.
Terry-Oh's spotting, so we'll pray for you.

(Chorus)

Out went Goyen waiting for a falling man.
Third out was Gorgie, his chute full of dew.
His main didn't open, his second did, but kinda low.
If you're like Georgie, then we'll pray for you.

(Chorus)

Back on the DZ, tummy says "it's dinner time".
Head for the chow house and 'Norsemen Stew'.
Just don't ask how it's made, anything that moves may be inside.
Neva's the cook, so we'll pray for you.

(Chorus)

If you're a novice, training isn't very long.
Start in at one, and by four you're through.
So you watch, and you listen, practice.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:19 AM
Post #23 of 101 (10476 views)
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"St. James Infirmary"

by Terry-Oh

To the tune of the same name.

I went down to St. James Infirmary,
to see my baby there.
She was stretched out on a big white table.
So cool, so sweet, so fair.

I went up to see the doctor.
She's might low he said.
I went back to see my baby,
My God, she's lying there dead!

It was on one Sunday morning.
Not many miles from here.
The winds were softy blowing,
And the weather was so clear.

She went up to make a sixty.
A sixty plus delay.
And now you'll hear my singing.
About my baby's cut-a-way.

I went to old Tom's barroom.
On the corner by the square.
They were serving drinks as usual.
And all of the jumpers were there.

On my left, stood old Joe MacKennedy.
And his eyes were bloodshot red.
He turned to the crowed gathered round him.
And these were the words he said...

"Let her go, let her go, God bless her."
"Wherever she may be."
"We cannot forget her double malfunction.
And you'll never find a sadder man than me.

When I die please bury me.
In a towering white summer thundercloud.
Let me wear a black Pioneer jumpsuit.
Let my faithful P.C. be my shroud.

Now this is the end of my story.
Let's have another round of booze.
And if anyone should ask, you just tell them,
I've got the St. James infirmary blues.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:20 AM
Post #24 of 101 (10475 views)
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"Take Me Out to the Drop Zone"

by Little David

To the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"



Take Me Out to the Drop Zone
I'll be damned if I jump.
Bring me some bandages and iodine.
A case of beer and a bottle of wine.
For it's "play it cool" at the drop zone.
Were we'll be safe and sound.
And watch all those heros jump out of the plane,
and cream in...to...the ground.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:24 AM
Post #25 of 101 (10473 views)
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               Taunton Men

by Hank Mc Carrick

To the tune of The Green Beret.


Greasy Guineas from the sky.
Irish drunks on whiskey high.
Portuguese who bitch and pay.
Taunton men, with no beret.

Sloppy Limeys at their best.
Silly Frenchmen like the rest.
Horny Greeks who've gone astray.
Taunton men, with no beret.

Some are red men, some are white.
Same just can't be seen at night.
Drunken bums that never pay.
Taunton men, with no beret.

Jumping gear upon their chest.
Climbing high, with bowels unrest.
Smelly cockpits. every day.
Taunton men, with no beret.

Trained on drink, and sleepless nights.
Men who think, all is wrong is right.
Jumping bums, who'll never sway.
Taunton men, with no beret.

Wives and sweethearts have to wait.
Jumping guys, are always late.
Bless them all, we love their way.
Taunton men, with no beret.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:26 AM
Post #26 of 101 (3112 views)
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                           "The Hustler"

Originated by Bev Galloway
Additional verses by Dan Poynter

To the tune of "Bimini"


The sixth world meet. she started out slow.
The winds were high and the clouds were low.
When the weather cleared, it was too late,
the whole damn meet was a weather date.

(Chorus:)
Oh, I wanna jump in the hus-i-ler.
This chute is beautiful.
I'm tired of crashing and burning,
in a T-U, in a T-U.

The U.S. team, they have no fear.
All of them smoke, and all of drink beer.
Stay out each night 'till quarter past three...
They plan to win on strategy.

(chorus)

Our friend Loy Brydon worked very hard.
'Till he invented the double-T.
Along came P.I.; cut some more from her.
And now they call it the hus-i-ler.

(Chorus)

The P.C. opening is a sight to see.
"Malfunctionitis" in a lo-po canopy.
A drop and pop or thirty second delay.
Damn P.C. openings scare the students away.

(Chorus)

The crossbow is the chute for me.
it is nearly as good as the new P.C.
I have given both a thorough test,
and I'm satisfied with second best.

(chorus)

The suspicious nature of the P.C.A.,
makes you wonder if they're throwing your money away.
The P.C.A. commissioner said "absurd".
made his get-a-way in a thunderbird.

(chorus)

I get in a card game with the West Point Cadets.
A lousy pair of deuces was the best I could get,
so I hock my plane ticket for the money I lack.
I'll use the sail wing to get me back.

(Chorus)

Lyle Cameron is the editor of a jump publication.
To the skydivers of the world he tries to give an education.
He sells many copies, that is easily seen,
of his "Yellow journal Jump magazine".

(Chorus)

I made my first jump at Orange this year.
When my chute up I was frozen with fear.
Maybe the riggers were playing a prank.
'Cause over my head was a twenty-six gore blank.

New Chorus:
Oh, I wanna jump a hus-i-ler.
This chute is beautiful.
I'm tired of landing downwind
in a P.C., in a P.C.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:27 AM
Post #27 of 101 (3112 views)
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                     "The Pelican Song"

by Mule Ferguson

To the tune of "Jamaica Farewell"


Down the way where the jumpers say.
That the Pelicans are quite a lot.
They jump from morn to night.
When you become a Pelican, you've reached the top.

(Chorus)
And I'm glad to say I'll never change my ways.
I'm a Pelican all the way.
My heart is bound...I'll never put them down.
Pelican...'till I'm on the ground.

All the way from Main to Florida,
everybody comes to attend the meets.
You'll never find a more serious bunch.
But when it comes to clowning
they're all like geech.

(Chorus)

Down to Florida they did go.
With their P.C.'S to steal the show.
They let Tinker out to do his track.
And all they brought was a chicken back.

(Chorus)

Where they say you-all with a southern drawl.
In South Carolina we had this meet.
The Pelicans were in force.
And the demolition team was hard to beat.

(Chorus)

Anywhere they go under the clear blue skies.
They jump all day 'till the sun goes down.
When the jumping done, it's time for fun.
In any beer joint they can be found.

(Chorus)


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:30 AM
Post #28 of 101 (3112 views)
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     "Three Pins on My Ripcord"

To the tune of "Three Coins in the Fountain"



Three pins on my ripcord.
Each one twisted and bent awry,
Caught in the cones so snugly.
I think that I'm gonna cry.

My reserve is useless,
Stuffed with rags and comic books.
I didn't care about safety,
Only with neat appearing looks.

Three cars on the drop zone,
One of them due for a surprise,
When through its top I go plunging.
Screaming out of cloudy skies.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:31 AM
Post #29 of 101 (3112 views)
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                          "Unsafe"

Anonymous

To the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"


My helmet's a world war I relic.
My boots are three sizes too big.
I give everybody the willies,
when I strap on my rusty old rug.

Chorus:
Unsafe, unsafe, and unsafe jumper am I, am I,
Unsafe, unsafe, and unsafe jumper am I.

One day a nervous first jumper,
remarked at my great deal of nerve.
I told him that only a coward,
would bother to wear a reserve.

(Chorus)
My capewells are very corroded.
My risers are frayed all to hell.
Because of the burns and blown panels,
my chute doesn't open too well.

(Chorus)

I do not believe in long freefalls.
Ten seconds, or so, is enough.
Up 500 feet when I exit;
it's great, but the landings are rough.

(Chorus)


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:32 AM
Post #30 of 101 (3112 views)
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                        "Where I must Go"

by Jon Guigard

A variation of "Baby the Rain Must Fall".



Some men must climb mountains.
Others must sail the sea.
Some must fly above in the sky.
They are what they must be.

(Chorus)
Baby, the rain must fall.
Baby, the wind must blow.
Wherever my heart leads me.
Baby, that's where I must go.

Now I'm not rich or famous.
But who can ever tell?
Who knows where I'm headed?
Maybe heaven, maybe hell.

(Chorus)

Some men must climb mountains.
Others must sail the sea.
Some fly like birds way up in the sky.
They are what they must be.

(Chorus)

Now I'm not rich or famous.
But who can ever tell?
Maybe I'll make the U.S. team.
Or maybe, I'll go to hell.

New Chorus:
Baby, the rain must fall.
Baby, the wind must blow.
Wherever weather is jumpable,
Baby, that's where I must go.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:34 AM
Post #31 of 101 (3112 views)
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                     "Wind Gets in Yours Eyes

To the tune of "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes."


They asked me how I knew,
my wind line was true. Oh, oh, oh...
I of course had known,
that the plane had flown,
Strictly on its own.

They said someday you will find,
Jumpmasters are blind, Oh, oh, oh...
You must realize,
while falling through the skies,
wind gets in your eyes.

So I chafed them and I gaily laughed.
To think that they could doubt my spot.
Yet today, the targets far away...
I'm hung up in a tree.

Now new friends laughing with glee,
have got me from this tree.
So, I smile and say,
on a long delay,
wind gets in your eyes.

WIND...GETS...IN...YOUR...EYES!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:35 AM
Post #32 of 101 (3112 views)
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If I only had a Main

(to the tune of the Wizard of Oz song
"If I only had a Brain"

My container's really flashy
Reserve is kinda sassy
My gearbag is the same,
My gloves match my goggles,
Match my jumpsuit, match my toggles
If I only had a main.

I'd be agreat skydiver
My skills they would inspire
They all would know my name
I'd be on every 4-way
On the step or in the doorway
If I only had a main.

You can make it any color
Neon bright or even duller
Pure white and really plain
All I'm lacking is the money
I'd be such a hot sky bunny
If I only had a main.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:37 AM
Post #33 of 101 (3112 views)
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Imitari

(to the tune of "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah)


I was jumping Imitari
I was floater I was sorry
I was smashed in to the doorway
Cuz they wanted to drag off the stupid 4-way.

I'm not kidding I'm not lying
I would rather Be free-flying
I've got bruises And contusions
And I think I lost a shoe in the confusion.

Give me room, you greedy mothers, give me room
Forget about the perfect base
How can it work when grips were taken
On my face?

Now they're jumping DC-3's
And I'm begging on bruised knees
Put me last out, let me solo
If I float again I might just take up polo!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:39 AM
Post #34 of 101 (3112 views)
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Lost Prairie Pilot's Song

(to the tune of Four Leaf Clover)

I'm flying over, the L.P. clover
That I've over-flown before;
The first load was students, the second freestyle,
The third was a bad spot, they missed by a mile.

There's no need complaining
Cause now it's raining
It's beer that I'm reaching for.
I'll be puking over, the L.P. clover
That I've over-flown before!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:42 AM
Post #35 of 101 (3112 views)
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Neon Suits

(to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Neon suits, neon mains
Glad my reserve is white
If I pulled my ripcord handle
I might have died from fright.

Neon suits, neon mains,
Hot purple, lime and pink
Twardo just wears solid blue
We think he's a boring dink.

On neon suits, neon mains
AggieDave think he's hot
We can watch his colors fade,
His canopy has sun rot! Tongue


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:43 AM
Post #36 of 101 (3112 views)
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The Chauvinist Pig Team


The Chauvinist Pig Team we call them,
The Chauvinist Pig Team they are,
With swear words and bad breath,
Big egos, wet armpits,
And jumpsuits that smell like manure.

We watch as they Z out the airplane,
We watch as they take out the star,
And after they get down, they still try and tell us
What wonderful jumpers they are.

He's constantly pulling his pants down,
The reason we don't really know -
We pitythe fool, trying to show off his tool,
Cuz two inches just ain't much to show.

They talk about how dumb the broads are,
And how all we can do is screw
But what they don't realize is, men are no better,
For fucking will usually take two!

And now that we have your attention,
There's something we'd like to say:
You chauvinist pigs can complain all you want,
But in skydiving, we're going to stay!!!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:44 AM
Post #37 of 101 (3112 views)
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This Man is your Man

This man is your man, this man is my man,
From Skydive Coolidge to the L.P. DZ
From any bedroom to the DC-threeee
This man will sleep with you or me.

This man is your man, this man is my man,
From stealing your slot to falling low on me.
From pointing fingers, to downright lying -
This man will NEVER take the blame!

This man is NOT ours, and NEVER will be.
He's ALWAYS been slime, and ALWAYS will be!
From the beiseker Hilton, to the Saddletramp Inn,
This man's NOT FIT for you OR me!!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:45 AM
Post #38 of 101 (3112 views)
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Tra La La Boom Deyay

Tra la la boom deyay
I made a jump today.
It was a 40-way,
Nothing went quite my way.

Tra la la boom deyay
I took it out today
In just a tiny way,
It wobbled anyway.

Tra la la boom deyay
I'm buying beer today
Before I move away,
That's all I have to say.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:47 AM
Post #39 of 101 (3112 views)
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Windy

(to the tune of Wendy)


Who's backing up as far as Alberta,
Who's going to land somewhere in B.C.?
Who's getting dragged across the runway?
Everyone knows its Windy.

Who put a brick inside the windsock,
And told manifest the winds were 15?
Who's in the plane going backwards on jump run?
Everyone knows its Windy.

We're looking at hurricanes,
They're tying down all the planes,
But Windy, she has no brains,
She's backing up ...
Across the sky ...

(repeat first verse)


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:48 AM
Post #40 of 101 (3112 views)
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You are my Base

(to You are my Sunshine)

You are my base, dear, My only base, dear
You are so heavy
You fall like lead
We'll never know, dear, If we can catch you
Cause we float above you instead!

The other night, dear, As we lay sleeping
We dreamt we had you
In our grip
But when we jumped, dear, It was a funnel
You're so heavy, you sink like a ship.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:55 AM
Post #41 of 101 (3107 views)
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Your Leg was Broken

(Morning has Broken)

Your leg was broken on your first skydive
We heard you screaming, like a baboon
You are a wimp, you are a baby
You are a pussy, what's wrong with pain?

Your dick was broken on your next skydive.
We saw you grab it, instead of the cord.
We thought it funny, and yes, we laughed,
Cuz how your dick looked pulled from your crotch.

You are dismembered, you are a eunuch,
Born of a new breed of jumpers today.
You get no blowjob. Can't even jack off!
You're just been ripped off, in the worst way!


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:57 AM
Post #42 of 101 (3107 views)
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We're the Crack Choir

(to The Battle of New Orleans)
(sing slower than normal to be understood)

In 1991 we came to Kalispell
To jump with you and drink with you and raise a little hell.
We've got some songs for you we know you'll like to hear
But the price of the concert is, you owe us all a beer!

Chorus
We come from Arizona and we come from California,
Manitoba and Saskatchewan, Alberta and B.C.
We're the minority, a skydiving sorority
We're the Crack Choir and we've quite a sight to see.

We learned the lessons that the past had to teach.
We won't do any nude jumps out of Elevator's Beech!
The wagon wheel's gone so we can't hang upside down
But the girls of the Choir are the most fun around.

Chorus


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:58 AM
Post #43 of 101 (3107 views)
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WRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE

(to the tune of Stuck in the Middle With You)


WELL I KNOW JUST WHY I CAME HERE TONITE
NEED THAT DIAMOND GOTTA GET IT RIGHT.
OVER THERE I SEE THE BASE PIN
WHEN THEY GET THE WEDGE I'M COMIN' IN.
NYLON TO THE LEFT OF ME, NYLON TO THE RIGHT
HERE I AM - WRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU
HERE I AM - WRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO
I'M IN QUICKLY SPINNING MAL WITH YOU.
SHOULD WE RIDE IT SHOULD WE CUT IT AWAY?
WE'RE AT TEN GRAND AND IT'S HARD TO SAY.
JACK KNIFE IN MY LEFT HAND, ZAK KNIFE IN MY RIGHT
HERE I AM - WRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU
HERE I AM - WRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU



HARD OPEN'S WHAT WE'RE GETTING

SO WE STAY ON AIRPLANE HEADING YEAH. (do do do do....da-do do do do.....)

NASSERED HARD INTO THE SLOT

NOW JUST LOOK AT WHAT WE GOT.


we said We ee ee ee eeeeee


we said We ee ee ee eeeeee


WELL IT ONLY TOOK A SECOND OR TWO
WE DECIDED WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WE LOOKED AND THEN WE COUNTED TO THREE
CUT AWAY AND WE WERE FALLIN FREE.
ONE DUDE ON THE LEFT SIDE, ONE DUDE ON THE RIGHT
HERE I AM - DOIN' A TWO WAY WITH YOU
HERE I AM - DOIN' A TWO WAY WITH YOU

WE TURNED AND STARTED TRACKIN AT THREE
JUST HOW HARD WILL THIS OPENING BE?
PULLED THE SILVER HANDLE AND WHAM!
RESERVE CANOPY OH MAN.
RISERS ON THE LEFT OF ME, RISERS ON THE RIGHT
HERE I AM - RIDING RESERVE WITH YOU
HERE I AM - RIDING RESERVE WITH YOU



WELL WE HAD THIS BIG FORMATION

WAS THE BIGGEST IN THE NATION HUH. (do do do do....da-do do do do.....)

WE KNEW WE'RE GONNA WRAP

WHEN IT STARTED GOIN' TO CRAP


we said Je ee ee ee eeeezzz


we said Je ee ee ee eeeezzz


NOW THAT WE'RE ADDICTED TO CREW
THERE'S ON MORE THING WE GOTTA DO.
GOTTA GET ANOTHER BASE PIN
USED THE RAVEN TWO'S AND SLAMMED THEM IN.
DACRON ON THE LEFT OF ME, DACRON ON THE RIGHT
HERE I AM - ANOTHER BI-PLANE WITH YOU
HERE I AM - ANOTHER BI-PLANE WITH YOU

THIS COOL JUMP ISN'T OVER JUST YET
THERE'S ONE MORE THING WE GOTTA GET.
TURNED IT TO THE AIRPORT TO SEE
IF WE COULD HIT THAT PIT OF PEAS.
HONKED IT TO THE LEFT, THEN HONKED IT TO THE RIGHT
HERE I AM - DEAD CENTRE LANDING WITH YOU
HERE I AM - DEAD CENTRE LANDING WITH YOU

CAN'T FIND OUR FREEBAGS CUZ WE CUT 'EM FREE
BUT OUR BUDDIES FOUND THEM STUCK IN THE TREES.
GOT OUR RIGGER AND WE PACKED UP AGAIN
GEARED UP AND THEN WE JUMPED IN THE PLANE.
WING SPAN ON THE LEFT OF ME, WING SPAN ON THE RIGHT
HERE I AM STUCK IN THE OTTER WITH YOU
HERE I AM WRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU
HERE I AM DOIN' A TWO WAY WITH YO
HERE I AM RIDING RESERVE WITH YOU
HERE I AM DEAD CENTRE LANDING WITH YOU
HERE I AM STUCK IN THE OTTER WITH YOU........


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 10:59 AM
Post #44 of 101 (3107 views)
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The Ballad of Skylar Buzz

On this day in 62, Skylar Buzz invented CREW
PC downplane, hook to Roo, I cut away, Skylar should of too.

At 50 feet he was heard to shout
No problem, Don't worry! I can get out.

Alas he was wrong on that fateful day
As he hit the ground, the crowd turned away.

The earth did heave with a mighty quake
A wet thud resounded with Skylars mistake.

The men were sad and the women cried
The day that Skylar said good-bye.

He's buried here on this hollowed ground

At the very spot where his body was found.

So remember my children when you are doing CREW
The spirit of Skylar flies with you.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 11:01 AM
Post #45 of 101 (3107 views)
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Canopy Wrap


Last on on the airplane wearin their jeans
Everybody knows just what that means.
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

Downplane, Pinwheel, Side by side
Come along boys we're going for a ride.
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

Diamond just funneled, what a mess!
This is what I call extreme duress.
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

Another bad spot, if you know what I mean
So far out we weren't even seen.
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

Sew up your mains and pack your reserves
You are only gettin' what you deserve.
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

Flesh and bone and nylon and lines
You're bonding with friends it's quality time.
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

Snake to accordian, Hook to Roo
We're not scared we're doin' CREW
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

Tear in the topskin's getting bigger,
Guess its time to see my rigger
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap

I can't sing and I can't dance,
But at least I'm not from France
Canopy wrap, canopy wrap


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 11:03 AM
Post #46 of 101 (3107 views)
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On top of Old Perris


This one is to On Top of Old Smokey ...


On Top of Ol' Perris
Way Up Off the Floor
I lost my best lockup
He rolled out the door

Ass over teakettle
Tumble and flail
No lockup on this dive
But maybe a tail

He threw through his armpit
Cracked meaner than sin
A pilot would hav'ta track down
To get to that pin

Hey! He's flying to the diamond
But he's facing away...
The asshole's on backwards
Break it down, get away

He flew to the DZ
Never cut it away
His landing was ugly
I hope he's OK

Way up over Perris
Way up off the floor
I lost my best lockup
He rolled out the door


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 11:10 AM
Post #47 of 101 (3107 views)
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Shoes


This one is to that old Carpenter's song,
"Close to you"

Why are shoes hanging from the wires
Look there's one ... in the sun
Must be CReW, no other shoe
Lands like you

Why are shoes scattered in the street
And there's no one, with barefeet!
Must be CReW, no other shoe
lands like you

On the day that CReW was born
The sky gods got together
And decided to create a diamond too
So it's soft and gentle to the dock
With inside first while hollering "Yahooooo"
{talk} Incoming, Yahooooo

That is why parts fall from the sky
When the CReW gods go flying by
Must be CReW no other shoe
lands like you

Must be CReW no other shoe
lands like you Sly


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 11:12 AM
Post #48 of 101 (3107 views)
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Diamonds In The Sky


Written during the Diamond Quest
('97 world record attempts)

Sung to the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"

We've come to Texas
To Whitewright Texas
To build a diamond kite

The CReW dogs came from
around the world
A record in our sight

The Casa's climbing,
The trail plane's boarding
The Caravan's in flight

Oklahoma
Is below us
We know that can't be right

(Chorus)
Don't wanna wrap, don't wanna wrap
Don't wanna wrap, don't wanna wrap

With Rich our pilot
Our mighty pilot
He guides us on our flight

The wings and lockups
Are on approach
They've gotta keep it tight

In the blue sky
The mighty dimaond
Is building almost right

After starburst
Where is the DZ?
We're looking left and right

(Chorus)

Electric fences
Surround the landing
The farmer wants to fight

The pick-ups crowded
We pile in and
Make sure to hold on tight

We've worked so hard
We've come so far
We can't give up the fight

We can do it
We know we'll do it
Let's go and get it right

(Chorus)


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 11:14 AM
Post #49 of 101 (3106 views)
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Can Can


Written and sung during the Women's
CRW world record attempts.

mainly by Audrey Alexander, Cheryl Michaels,
Wendy Faulkner and Karen Young.


Can Can Can we build a diamond
Can we build it bigger
Can we build it
Can Can Can Can Can Can Can Can

Will it be a 17-way
Will it be a 20
Will we beat it
Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock

Dirt Dive Tina's in the bathroom
Everybody's waiting
Someone's shouting
Run run run run run run run run

Cam Cam Cameras in our faces
Cameras on our bellies
Cameras up our
Cam Cam Cam Cam Cam Cam Cam Cam

Practice exiting the aircraft
Walking to the right slot
Judges check us
Check check check check check check check check

Brad Hood dresses up the pilot
Strapping on a camera
Will she roll it
Dust and tumble, legs a flying

"Now girls", says our mother Lilian
Let us look like ladies
Cross those legs and
Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock

Can can can I fly the pink chutes
Can I stand the pink sweats
Can I clean it
Pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink

Can can can I do my wing dock
Can I do my lockup
Can I stick it
Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock

Cheryl's steering the formation
But its getting heavy
So we're turning
Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock

5 grand, time to do a breakdown
Last one is approaching
Wave her in and
Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock Dock

Count to 5 and then we drop her
Got to drop in order
Let her go and
Drop me drop me drop me drop me

Can can can I land it standing
Can I land it sliding
Can I land it
Tumble tumble roll roll roll roll

Big poof,
Fields are oh so dusty
Dawn's a little rusty
Thump and tumble, roll roll roll roll

Landing after a new record
Mike is in the center
Wrapped up in our
Pink pink pink pink pink pink pink pink

Our men really are the greatest
Linda is fantastic
And we love you
Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 12, 2004, 11:40 AM
Post #50 of 101 (3102 views)
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The Phantom Tenth Man
by Jim Rogers

Flying Fred had cratered in
A week ago and now and then
We saw the spot where he'd been killed
The hole in the ground had just been filled.

It made us stop and it made us think
But we shrugged our shoulders and drank our drinks;
We knew the score when he got his:
Jumping from planes is a dangerous biz.

Fred had given up students and he'd given up style
And he only saw the target every once in a while.
Most of the time he walked country roads
Having just come down from an eight-man load.

Time and again we'd heard Fred say,
"Now save a place, 'cause on the day
That this state sees a ten-man fly
I'm closing tenth before I die."

Well, thinking of what we'd heard Fred say
We decided to hold a memorial day.
The first ten-man still gleamed in our eyes
So on this day we'd give it a try.

With chewing gum and refrigerator tape
We put our Beech into real good shape.
The pilot grinned at the dripping oil
Then strapped on a rig and said, "Let's roll."

The Federal Man thought otherwise;
He threw the book and said, "Look you guys,
You bounced old Fred when you were up last time;
The tenth man stays, You're going with nine."

With tears in his eyes someone got off the load,
Threw his gear in the trunk and drove off down the road.
With thirty-six jumps he'd have probably done fine
But Fred would be happy if we got the first nine.

The Beech took off in a black smoke cloud
Just under the wires and over the crowd!
Spectators ducked and faces got white
And we didn't breathe 'til we were in flight!

We were two hours late when we hit twelve-five
And the pilot yelled with fear in his eyes,
"Get ready you guys, we're going on in
'Cause we're out of gas! Better check my pins!"

"Man in the door!" came a muffled shout,
I was typing my shoes when the base fell out;
The pin was gone, then three, then four,
And then there was nothing but me and the door!

I dove head low, someone's boot in my mouth;
The prop blast hit as I flew out;
Tumbling plane overhead, falling bodies below,
Stable at last, but a long way to go.

I tracked so hard that I couldn't stop,
My breath was gone and my eyeballs popped!
Drilled a hole in a cloud and started to flare,
And when I came out the star was there.

I got a good grip and the star was round;
One eye on the needle and one on the ground
We started to break when we heard a yell
And across from me was a face from hell!

Trailing red smoke from an M-18
A phantom tenth man appeared on the scene!
We wanted to break but found we could not.
Our grips froze tight when he hit the slot!

I'll swear to this day it was Flying Fred,
He had surplus gear and his eyes were red!
With a laugh you could hear and a wave of his hand
He broke off the star just over a grand!

Nobody waved and nobody tracked,
The trees got so big we just unpacked!
Reserves went by! Out flashed my own!
But that red smoke flew towards the ground.

Out by the peas was the Federal Man
Timing low pulls with a watch in his hands.
Came the lowest pull of all that day
Because Phantom Fred was heading his way.

With a grinning laugh and a blast of wind
In a cloud of smoke Fred brought it on in!
Lightning flashed and thunder rolled!
When the smoke cleared away, there was just a hole.

White reserves started landing there,
The Beech was down in a field somewhere
The FAA didn't like all this;
The man staggered off to file a near miss.

We all looked at the hole; then we all shook hands.
It was legal now, our first ten-man.
Where Fred had gone we couldn't say
But our witness was the FAA.

That night over a beer we thought of a way
To salute Flying Fred's Memorial Day.
Where that smoke bomb hit, now a marker stands,
It says, "Boys, I was with you on your first ten-man!"


CornishChris  (C 102981)

Mar 14, 2004, 3:42 PM
Post #51 of 101 (3840 views)
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This thread was bought to you by Airtwardo.

Many thanks for the read.


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 16, 2004, 4:23 PM
Post #52 of 101 (3814 views)
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Re: [CornishChris] Skydiving Songs & Poems [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
This thread was bought to you by Airtwardo.

Many thanks for the read.

Quote:

My pleasure!Wink

Scraps and bits of skydiving history,
that should not be forgotten...Blush

And serve to tell us a bit about
the tone of things...not really all
that long ago! Angelic



Or....Shocked


Post whoring.... The way it SHOULD be done!! Tongue


mccurley  (E 663)

Mar 20, 2004, 4:33 PM
Post #53 of 101 (3768 views)
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To the tune of You picked a fine time to fail me Luciell

words by Al Miller circa 78 or 79?

On a broken down runway,
bout a week from last sunday,
We where just climbing into the plane.

When there on a bumper
there stood a strange jumper,
and he seemed to be almost insane.

Well he said with a shout,
can I follow you out,
and he sure had a starnge looking rig,

It was a front mounted prettzle,
an Eddie Grimm special,
while the rest of us all wore a pig.

Well after the jump when it came time to dump,
and the 10 man had finally split

And after cutting away
from the first mal that day
this new guy was starting to shit

His reserve wasn't working
after lots of hard jerking
and just when he thought he was dead

In a voice that was spliting
from the bricks he was shiting,
He looked at his Pop Top and said


You picked a fine time to fail me reserve,
I'm at 400 feet and I'm losing my nerve.
I've had some bad ones,
and lived through some sad ones,
but this one I just don't deserve.

You picked a fine time to fail me reserve.


Well after he bounced
we all smoked up an ounce,
and we stared in the hole that he made.

And I started to wonder
if maybee I'd thunder,
the next time that I cut away.

The Wuffos report
there's a much safer sport,
but I think I'll keep jumping instead,

And if my square dosn't open
I'll cut away hoping
and remember the last words he said.


You picked a fine time to fail me reserve,
I'm at 400 feet and I'm losing my nerve.
I've had some bad ones,
and lived through some sad ones,
but this one I just don't deserve.

You picked a fine time to fail me reserve.


diverds  (D 17797)

Mar 22, 2004, 10:35 AM
Post #54 of 101 (3742 views)
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Damn Twardo, you've got WAY too much time on your hands.


FirstMan

Mar 22, 2004, 4:53 PM
Post #55 of 101 (3723 views)
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Reading these poems got me thinking of death. Aren't there any cheery skydiving tunes? Anyway, death and my first skydive are closely linked so I went and wrote this little ditty. Dedicated to a former co-worker named Phil.

I doubt I would be jumping
but for the cancer that Phil had.
He invited, I said yes.
I even brought my dad.

My father and myself,
and 4 from the office crew,
all drove out to the DZ
to jump into the big blue.

We landed and we laughed.
We each shared our thrill.
Some of us jumped again.
At least one never will.

We all had quite a blast,
Phil the most of all,
even though he knew
that death was coming to call.

In two weeks it was whitewater.
I didn’t have the cash.
But I’d hang with Phil again
at his office birthday bash.

There was no birthday party
‘cause the cancer took Phil down.
I got word second hand
that he was quickly loosing ground.

Phil died soon thereafter
We all missed his smile.
But work and life continued.
Another day, another mile

It’s been almost 10 years now
and I don’t think of him often.
Time heals all wounds
and the sorrow will soften.

But on the way up to altitude,
and at 135 miles per hour,
and hanging under the canopy,
there’s GOT to be some power

That let’s Phil see my smile…………


airtwardo  (D License)

Mar 25, 2004, 10:27 AM
Post #56 of 101 (3688 views)
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THAT'S Nice!Smile

Skydiver Poetry...Cool


Shell666  (C 1817)

Apr 2, 2004, 1:44 PM
Post #57 of 101 (3649 views)
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In reply to:
This thread was bought to you by Airtwardo.

Many thanks for the read.

With a lot of cut and paste from a Crack Choir Songbook ... Tongue

'Shell


meatbomb  (D 100967)

Apr 15, 2004, 6:27 AM
Post #58 of 101 (3591 views)
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O Lord, won't you buy me, a G-92,
My friends all jump Porters, It's makin me blue!
Jumped Cessnas all mah lifetime, Yes Lord it's True,
So Lord, Won't you buy me a G-92!

O Lord, won't you buy me, a Turbolet 410,
My friends all jump Porters, I must make amends!
Jumped Cessnas all mah lifetime, laughed at by my firends,
So Lord, Won't you buy me a Turbolet 410!

O Lord, won't you buy me, a French 206,
My friends all jump Porters, It's doin in mah tits!
Jumped a Cessna all mah lifetime, now it's in bits,
So Lord, Won't you buy me a French 206!

That's it...heh heh he...


kflying  (D 14045)

Apr 17, 2004, 3:30 PM
Post #59 of 101 (3565 views)
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In reply to:
Tra La La Boom Deyay

Tra la la boom deyay
I made a jump today.
It was a 40-way,
Nothing went quite my way.

Tra la la boom deyay
I took it out today
In just a tiny way,
It wobbled anyway.

Tra la la boom deyay
I'm buying beer today
Before I move away,
That's all I have to say.

Tra la la boom deyay
You could go in today
Tra la la boom deyay
It could be you today

Tra la la boom deyay
And if it's you today
Tra la la boom deyay
Don't hit my Chevrolet!

-


kflying  (D 14045)

Apr 17, 2004, 3:53 PM
Post #60 of 101 (3562 views)
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Re: [CornishChris] Skydiving Songs & Poems [In reply to] Can't Post

16 jumps - to the obvious tune:

Some people say a jumper is made outta cash
A poor man's made outta credit and trash
Credit and trash and skin and bones
A mind that's a-weak and a back that's strong

You jump sixteen times, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the manifest ‘ho

I was born one mornin' when the winds did moan
I picked up my rig and I walked to the zone
I jumped sixteen times, out at 2
And the DZ boss said "Well, I’m still chargin’ you"

You jump sixteen times, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the manifest ‘ho

I was born one mornin', it was drizzlin' rain
Drinkin' and trouble are my middle name
I was raised in the loft by an ol' rigger man
Cain't no-a high-toned woman make me sober again

You jump sixteen times, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the manifest ‘ho

If you see me trackin', better track away
A lotta men didn't, a lotta blood sprayed
A helmet of iron, booties tuned true
If you’re in my way, I’m comin’ through

You jump sixteen times, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the manifest ‘ho


Rondo

May 21, 2004, 8:18 PM
Post #61 of 101 (3494 views)
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Har! I remember Little David singing FRANCINE MACFILTHY one night at CM SOLIS' Water Jumps at Clear Lake California many moons ago. Glad to see your still up and trucking, bro. Seen Steve, Nealikins, Luke or any of the others? (I heard about Norton.)

Anyway, here's a song I put together with a buddy of mine around the fireplace at the Antioch Sport Parachute Center back in the 70's while Perry still owned it. Enjoy!

CUT AWAY (Below a Grand)
By
Pat "Captain Rondo" Regan and Lynn Clean

(Sung to the tune of DIXIE.)

Well I think my riggin' must be gettin' rotten,
blew up like it was made of cotton!
Cut away! Cut away! Cut away!
Below a grand.

Well my head-down dive was a real screamer
dumped my main and it rolled up in a streamer
Cut away! Cut away! Cut away!
Below a grand.

I best throw out my Lo-Po,
Oh yeah! Oh Yeah!
It aint real fast,
but I'll save my ass
with a 26-foot Lo-po!

Away! Away!
I really had to cut it!

Away! Away!
You know I had to cut it!

(Instrumental melody and rythm on guitars to finish.)

EFS Forever!

Rondo


Shawndiver  (D License)

May 21, 2004, 11:19 PM
Post #62 of 101 (3487 views)
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"Beautiful Streamer"

Sung to: Is'nt it obvious?

Beautiful Streamer,
Open for me
Blue skies above me
But no canopy
Pulled at 2000
But waited too long
Reached for my reserve
but the damn thing was gone.

Beautiful Streamer
Open for me
Ants and small pebbles
I'm starting to see

Beautiful Streamer
Open for me
Blue skies above me
But no cano....


Raistlin

May 31, 2004, 8:51 AM
Post #63 of 101 (3425 views)
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One sullen song:

Blood on the risers
(TO THE TUNE OF"GLORY, GLORY, HALLELUJAH")

He was just a rookie trooper,
And he surely shook with fright
As he checked all his equipment
And he made sure his pack was tight.

"Is everyone happy?", cried the sargeant, looking up,
Our hero feebly answered "Yes," and then they stood him up
He leaped right out into the blast, his static line unhooked,
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!

(CHORUS)

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock
He felt the wind, he felt the clouds, he felt the awful drop,
He jerked his cord, the silk spilled out and wrapped around his legs,
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!

(CHORUS)

The risers wrapped around his neck, connectors cracked his dome
The lines were snarled and tied in knots, around his skinny bones
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground,
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!

(CHORUS)

The days he's lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind,
He thought about his girl back home, the one he left behind,
He thought about the medics and wondered what they'd find,
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!

(CHORUS)

The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild,
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, they rolled their sleeves and
smiled
For it had been a week or more since last a 'chute had failed
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!

(CHORUS)

He hit the ground, the sound was "SPLATT", his blood went spurting high
His comrades then were heard to say "A helluva way to die!"
He lay there rolling 'round in the welter of his gore
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!

(CHORUS)

There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon his 'chute
Intestines were a'dangling from his Paratrooper's boots,
They picked him up, still in his 'chute and poured him from his boots.
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!

(CHORUS)

GORY, GORY, WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE!
GORY, GORY, WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE!
GORY, GORY, WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE!
HE AIN'T GONNA JUMP NO MORE!!!!!


Raistlin

May 31, 2004, 8:54 AM
Post #64 of 101 (3424 views)
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And one beautiful poem, by John Gillespie Magee, Jr.

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,

I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.


MrSoundman

Jun 17, 2004, 11:56 PM
Post #65 of 101 (3359 views)
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In reply to "don't know...can you mumm a few bars" in the post of the song "O Lord."

It's a parody of an old Janice Joplin song. It's called "Oh Lord Won't You Buy me a Mercedes Benz." It goes back to the early 70's I think.Smile

MrSoundman


(This post was edited by MrSoundman on Jun 18, 2004, 12:01 AM)


MrSoundman

Jun 19, 2004, 2:34 PM
Post #66 of 101 (3337 views)
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Here's another song I wrote back in the 80's. It's an old Kenny Rogers duet. I have a few mroe previously un-published songs I'll post here from time to time. Enjoy!


“Don't Ride Too Long on a Streamer”
by Duncan Mc Ewan, C-19645 (C) 1994
To the tune of "Don't Fall in Love With a Dreamer".
A Duet for a man and a woman.

(Man): Just look at this,
streamer there.
It just never will catch in the air.
And it'd be so easy,
to play with the lines,
like I've done so many times...

(Woman): I was so sure,
this would be the time.
You'd play too long, and crater in the ground,
'cause you are too proud,
to cut it away,
like you've done so many times...

(Chorus:)
(Duet): Don't ride too long on a streamer,
`cause it will always take you in.
Just when you think, you've really cleared it,
it'll close on you again...
Don't ride too long on a streamer,
`cause it'll hurt you every time.
(Man): Just chop it away.
(Woman): don't hang on,
(Duet): and kiss your main good-bye.

(Woman): Now it's mornin', and the phone rings.
They say you got a fractured femur...
You just got to stay but you wont change your mind.

(Man): And if you knew what they were thinkin' girl.
Of surgery,
It'd seem like being grounded, girl,
Until the end of time...

(Chorus)
(Ending tag:)
...and kiss you main good-bye...
...good-bye.


MrSoundman

Jun 19, 2004, 2:41 PM
Post #67 of 101 (3336 views)
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The reference to an SCR in this one will pretty well date me.

“Another One Bites the Dust”

by Duncan Mc Ewan (C) 1982

(Sung to the same tune.)

He just couldn't wait for green light
He had to have that beer.
And he should have been on a static line,
'hadn't made a jump in a year.
Hey! He's got streamer, he'd better cut it away.
He's still tryin' to clear that main,
'gonna take it all the way. Look out!

(Chorus:)
Another one bites the dust.
Another one bites the dust.
And another goes in,
And another goes in,
Another one bites the dust.
Hey! Gonna hit by you,
Another one bites the dust.

She just arrived at the DZ;
she knew nobody there.
The boys all said "hey, wanna get
your SCR sweet maiden fair?"
She said "great, sound's good to me",
and off in they plane flew.
Too bad the boys didn't realize
she's just AFF level two.
Look out!

(Chorus)

Hey!
Oh chop it.
Don't eat the dust,
You're not adapted...

Hey!
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust, Aouh.
Another one bites the dust, Hey, Hey!
Another one bites the dust, Heeeaaaayyyyy...

When he opened his main, he didn't like
the way his canopy flew.
Then he saw how his lines were wrapped on top, and that is when he knew.
To chop it, to cut-a-way.
That was the just thing to do.
Unfortunately, for the guy above,
they were up there doin' crew.
Look out!

(Chorus)


MrSoundman

Jun 19, 2004, 2:43 PM
Post #68 of 101 (3335 views)
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For you Beatles fans...

"You Must Whip it Out"
by Duncan Mc Ewan (C) 1994.
To the Beatles tune of "We Can Work it out".

Try and see it my way:
Don't play with it too long, or you will take it in.
You'd better chop it,
Just give it up, don't take the risk, just cut away.

(Chorus:)
You must whip it out.
You must whip it out.

Think about your training,
if it ain't open by fifteen hundred, better chop.
Think about the altitude,
It's goin' fast if your free fall doesn't stop.

(Chorus:)

Altitude's very low,
and there's no time,
to try to make your main better.
If you play too long,
you're gonna find.
That you'll make a crater.

Try and see it my way:
Don't play with it too long, or you will take it in.
You'd better chop it,
Just give it up, don't take the risk, just cut away.

(Chorus:)

Altitude's very low,
and there's no time;
what kind of a function doesn't matter
If you play too long,
you're gonna find.
that you're gonna splatter.

Try and see it my way,
Don't play with it too long, or you will take it in.
You'd better chop it,
Just give it up, don't take the risk, just cut away.

(Chorus:)


MrSoundman

Jun 19, 2004, 2:47 PM
Post #69 of 101 (3333 views)
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This is one I never could finish. In fact, I had a hard time starting it. All I got was the chorus, but I like the chorus. Maybe someone can figure out verses.

"Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Jumpers"

by Duncan Mc Ewan
To the tune of "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys"


Mamas, dont let your babies grow up to be jumpers.
Don't let 'em drink beer, or jump outta planes.
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers instead.
Mamas, dont let your babies grow up to be jumpers.
They'll nerver be home, always at the drop zone,
Doin' that other thing that they love.


jdobleman  (D 7790)

Jun 25, 2004, 10:08 PM
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Rondo,

Good to know you're still out there. Blue skies, brother.

madjohn


gonzalesna  (B 32290)

Aug 1, 2009, 3:22 AM
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In reply to:
This is one I never could finish. In fact, I had a hard time starting it. All I got was the chorus, but I like the chorus. Maybe someone can figure out verses.

"Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Jumpers"

by Duncan Mc Ewan
To the tune of "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys"


Mamas, dont let your babies grow up to be jumpers.
Don't let 'em drink beer, or jump outta planes.
Make 'em be doctors and lawyers instead.
Mamas, dont let your babies grow up to be jumpers.
They'll nerver be home, always at the drop zone,
Doin' that other thing that they love.

Holy thread revivals, Batman!

At Elsinore's Chicks Rock Boogie last year, I met someone who apparently finished your song with verses... I played guitar to it and she sang the song. I wish I could remember how it went.


howardwhite  (C 3896)

Aug 1, 2009, 4:47 AM
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I had either forgotten this thread or never saw it when it was happening.
Most of the first bunch from Twardo were initially collected in a booklet published by Dan Poynter when he was working for PI in Orange. He sold it via mail and it had an Orange, MA PO box number for the return address.
The Orange postmaster had a problem with lyrics such as "Francine McFilthy, the skydiving whore," and told Dan he could no longer mail it as it had been published; an alternate adress sticker was pasted over the original one.
Scary.. I know/knew a lot of the original lyricists and some of the people and places mentioned in them. If anyone wants an annotated version, I suppose I could provide it.Crazy
HW


GreenLight  (D 18859)

Aug 1, 2009, 9:09 PM
Post #73 of 101 (2865 views)
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"Francine McFilthy, the skydiving whore,"

I have a copy of that...


ZigZagMarquis  (D License)

Aug 2, 2009, 7:41 AM
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Movin' to the Drop Zone
Gonna buy me a bunch of tickets
Movin' to the Drop Zone
Gonna buy me a bunch of tickets

Tickets come from a man
He is short and Mexican
From a barrio down south
oh yeah

If I had my little way
I'd be jumpin' every day
DZ tickets in my hand

Movin' to the Drop Zone
Gonna buy me a bunch of tickets
Movin' to the Drop Zone
Gonna buy me a bunch of tickets

Packed my pilot chute inside
Gotta jones for an altitude ride
Gotta a ticket for a hot skydive

Gonna spot the Otter with ease
Because I am not Japanese
Freefallin' without a care
As long as Wade stays outta my air
My new rig and knees in the breeze

Millions of tickets
Tickets for me
Millions of tickets
Tickets for free!

Movin' to the Drop Zone
Gonna buy me a bunch of tickets
Movin' to the Drop Zone
Gonna buy me a bunch of tickets
Movin' to the Drop Zone
Gonna buy be a lot of tickets!


(This post was edited by ZigZagMarquis on Aug 2, 2009, 7:42 AM)


robskydiv  (D 26660)

Aug 2, 2009, 8:24 AM
Post #75 of 101 (2834 views)
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My Falcon 265 Surely this is why I'm alive.
I jump a Falcon 265.
When I got the License "D", throwing out at 2,000 was for me. Wuffos on the ground used to say: "Why in the Hell does he do it that way?" But for me I had little fear, I had great confidence in my gear. This is why I'm still alive, my trusty dusty 265. I'm not small, and i'm not made of lard, but that damn falcon has always opened quite hard. As time past the back pain became chronic, I don't mean to sound sardonic, So I placed a call to Precision Dynamic and spoke to Galloway George the chief parachute mechanic. He said son Let me tell you someti'n, didn't you knowed? Than Falcon chute is Reserve TSO'D! A true story!


(This post was edited by robskydiv on Aug 2, 2009, 8:25 AM)


Niki1  (D 3103)

Aug 2, 2009, 9:01 AM
Post #76 of 101 (3107 views)
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In reply to:
In reply to "don't know...can you mumm a few bars" in the post of the song "O Lord."

It's a parody of an old Janice Joplin song. It's called "Oh Lord Won't You Buy me a Mercedes Benz." It goes back to the early 70's I think.Smile

MrSoundman


This may have been one of the eaziest songs to parody ever written. At least it was the most parodied. With the possible exception of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."
Well, here's my version, written in '72 or '73 by Dave Story and me on the way to Palatka.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a colored PC
My freinds all jump one - ones
Thet're outdriving me
Worked all of my lifetime
To get in the peas
So oh Lord won't you buy me a colored PC

Oh Lord won't you buy me a custom made pig
My backbone is weary from this military rig
Can't fit in the airplane
Cause my gutter is too big
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a custom made pig

Oh Lord won't you build me a big 8 man star
I've only been base for a 4 man so far
Worked all of my lifetime
For my SCR
So oh Lord won't you build me a big 8 man star

"Heh, heh, heh. That's all folks"


howardwhite  (C 3896)

Aug 2, 2009, 6:36 PM
Post #77 of 101 (3093 views)
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In reply to:
Divers of the Sky
by Hank McCarrick.

Hank McCarrick jumped at and may have been a part owner of the Taunton, MA DZ in the late 60s. He was a party animal and had something of a reputation for flying drunk.
He and three other jumpers were killed when his Mooney hit an island off the Massachusetts coast late one weekend night.

HW


truckerjean  (C 33026)

Feb 13, 2010, 11:12 PM
Post #78 of 101 (3018 views)
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In reply to:
Don't know...
Can you hum a few bars?! Wink


****************************************


O Lord

O Lord, won't you buy me a brand new P.D.
All my friends have one, so why not me?
And give me a slicksuit, so I can fall free,
O Lord, won't you give me a brand new P.D.

O Lord, won't you buy me a brand new big plane,
And some good weather, no wind and no rain,
I can't really jump from a car or a train.
O Lord, won't you buy me a brand new big plane,

O Lord, help me dirt-dive a forty-way cat
Then into a diamond, or something like that.
A stairstep to a snowflake, and then turn and track
O Lord, help me dirt-dive a forty-way cat.

O Lord, give me money to jump all the time
I think five a day, every day, would be fine.
I'm so broke I've turned to a new life of crime,
O Lord, give me money to jump all the time.
Oh, the memories :D (I just learned of this thread thx to MikeJD). Really great stuff - the stuff of legends. Thanks again,
Jeannie


Niki1  (D 3103)

Feb 14, 2010, 6:53 AM
Post #79 of 101 (3003 views)
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I don't recognize the tune to this one. Anyway...

Our club onece had a spotter who was really something hot
He'd remove the students toggles and still drop them on the spot
He never took a student up who ever chickened out
He'd get them standing on the wheel and to the pillt shout

"Gear up and let hin go,
There's not a damn thing but the target down below
Gear up and let him fall.
If he don't open he's a gonner."

Willy took a new girl up
He had her on the wheel
The plane was nearing exit as she started to appeal
Willy held her out there wouldn't let her back inside
With his free hand grabbed the gear switch and then to the pilot cried

"Gear up and let her go,
There's not a damn thing but the target down below
Gear up and let her fall.
If she don't open he's a gonner."

The plane was now asending to the 30 second height
Willy he unhooked his leg strap just lookin' for a light
The leg strap went unnoticed as he climbed out on the wheel
And as he started back inside he heard the pilot squeal

"Gear up and let hin go,
There's not a damn thing but the target down below
Gear up and let him fall.
If he don't open he's a gonner."

Willy snatched to tie his legstrap but he went into a spin
Pulled and came out of his harness and he started augering in
But his eyes they kept a'searching and like always found the spot
He went into a track made a splash right on the dot.


GalFisk  (D 23239)

Feb 18, 2010, 4:39 AM
Post #80 of 101 (2899 views)
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Re: [Niki1] Skydiving Songs & Poems [In reply to] Can't Post

This is awesome.
I wrote a song for my club last year, but it's in Swedish so you'll probably not get a lot out of it. Maybe I'll write one in English some day!


airtwardo  (D License)

Dec 2, 2010, 1:28 PM
Post #81 of 101 (2791 views)
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Bumpity bump bump...bump bump!


jdobleman  (D 7790)

Dec 3, 2010, 12:59 AM
Post #82 of 101 (2754 views)
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A short one from the Quincy Convention when they couldn't spot the C-130 worth a damn, then Roger said he would spot it from the ground. I'm pretty sure I heard Johnny Gates singing it on the way to altitude.

I've been searching for the Drop Zone
All the live long day.
I've been searching for the Drop Zone
Fifteen Miles away.

Can't you see the Mississippi
Flowing down below,
Can't you hear the jumper shouting
"Which way shall we go?"

Roger won't you blow, Roger won't you blow....

madjohn


truckerjean  (C 33026)

Dec 15, 2010, 10:23 AM
Post #83 of 101 (2676 views)
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Hee!


patworks  (D 1813)

Dec 24, 2010, 9:27 AM
Post #84 of 101 (2611 views)
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 Skydivers cohabit a special realm where they and clouds kiss the sky enfolded upon her soft arms of wind.
Our sky is lovely and bigger than forever.
Embrace her.
XOX.


mjosparky  (D 5476)

Dec 26, 2010, 5:18 AM
Post #85 of 101 (2586 views)
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Re: [airtwardo] Skydiving Songs & Poems [In reply to] Can't Post

Here you go.

Sparky
Attachments: The Parachute Songbook.pdf (103 KB)


Guyronimo  (D 369)

Mar 6, 2011, 7:49 PM
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Anybody recall "Malfunction Number 9" ? I took my Racer down to Elsinore, just like I did a thousand times before... etc. Anybody?


patworks  (D 1813)

Apr 21, 2011, 12:31 PM
Post #87 of 101 (2439 views)
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Quote:
To the tune of "Beautiful Dreamer

Hey Artwardo, you forgot to append the Chorus + Refrain

Beautiful Streamer, please open for me.
Blue skies above me and no canopy



patworks  (D 1813)

Apr 21, 2011, 12:40 PM
Post #88 of 101 (2436 views)
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A skydivers Toast

Oh, look to the skies of clear-shot blue
and lift your glasses tall
and think of the world
like a map unfurled
beneath your screaming fall.

Oh, here's to the sky for you and I
with our silken banners pinned
for here's a crew that burns the blue
and rides on wings of wind.

(anon. from the 1940s?)


patworks  (D 1813)

Apr 21, 2011, 12:46 PM
Post #89 of 101 (2433 views)
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Night Jump

Oh think of the night as the plane lifts-off
her engines screaming high.

Just you, your friends, and small dim lights
in a great dark empty sky.

Fly on black air; drift on the arms of the night
and survey a city outlined in spots of light.

But time is gone
so in and pull
then shout with joy
for your soul is full

Pat Works 1962


mjosparky  (D 5476)

Apr 21, 2011, 11:46 PM
Post #90 of 101 (2424 views)
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In reply to:
Night Jump

Oh think of the night as the plane lifts-off
her engines screaming high.

Just you, your friends, and small dim lights
in a great dark empty sky.

Fly on black air; drift on the arms of the night
and survey a city outlined in spots of light.

But time is gone
so in and pull
then shout with joy
for your soul is full

Pat Works 1962

I like, well done Pat.

Sparky


howardwhite  (C 3896)

Apr 22, 2011, 4:42 AM
Post #91 of 101 (2421 views)
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I have talked with both Laura Sharp at Parachutist and the Blue Skies folks about a story on songs over the years but they seem to balk at "Francine McFilthy, the Skydiving Whore," and a serious sociology story, "The Cock Choir."
I might have to self-publish.

HW


airtwardo  (D License)

Apr 22, 2011, 5:04 PM
Post #92 of 101 (2401 views)
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In reply to:
I have talked with both Laura Sharp at Parachutist and the Blue Skies folks about a story on songs over the years but they seem to balk at "Francine McFilthy, the Skydiving Whore," and a serious sociology story, "The Cock Choir."
I might have to self-publish.

HW



"Francine Mc Filthy"

by Little David

To the tune of "Streets of Larado"

There was a young maiden of age fifty-seven.
Who drove a blank gore like you've never seen before.
She drank and she cussed, and she smelled to high heaven.
That's Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.

We went to a jump meet in Carson, Nevada.
The troops were all lined up at the Moonlight Ranch door.
But out in the bushes, one went for a quarter.
That's Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.

Old Francine the queen of barnstorming banditos.
Would punch out S.O.S. 'till her knuckles were sore.
She'd make Pope and Bishop, in seventeen seconds,
Then take on nine jumpers, that's skydivers whore.

Way back in the old barnstorming days, I flew an old jenny.
The struts were all broken, the fabric was tore.
And out on the jumpstep, stood Francine Mc Filthy.
The pride of Milpitas, that skydiver's whore.

Francine was married to old Ernie Perkins;
The wedding took place in the back of a store;
The troops was all drinkin' and fightin' and yellin',
And Ernie got cursed wid' a skydiving whore.

Old Francine looked lovely, she smiled at the preacher.
A pioneer jumpsuit, the gown that she wore.
Behind her sweet back, she gave us the finger.
That raunchy old bastard, that skydiver's whore.

The marriage was short lived, and so was old Ernie.
He crashed through a church roof, and died on the floor.
Francine missed the funeral, for a night jump at Chico.
So what's more important to a skydiving whore.

Then one day it happened, her navy rig failed her.
She tracked for Lake Merrit, but just made the shore.
She closed bloodshot eyes, and smiled through her AssHole...
And that was the end of our skydiving whore.

So hang your head low boys and cry in your muscat.
The pride of Milpitas is with us no more.
And the noise that your hear at twelve-five is not thunder.
But the voice of old Francine, our skydiving whore.

And now somewhere on that eternal drop zone.
Stands one who hollers and beats on the door.
Won't you break down and hand out a drink there St. Peter.
To Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.



howardwhite  (C 3896)

Apr 22, 2011, 7:32 PM
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A substantial number of these songs came from Orange., MA (my home DZ.) I knew a lot of the people who wrote them and sung them at the famous Inn at Orange.
I'd really like to figure out how to preserve of these memories. Except maybe at Lost Prairie, skydivers don't to sing anymore.

HW


jdobleman  (D 7790)

Apr 25, 2011, 4:59 PM
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It's actually the Cock Chorus, different anatomically from the Crack Choir.

madjohn


howardwhite  (C 3896)

Apr 25, 2011, 5:33 PM
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I knew that. :-)

HW


longpete  (D 363)

May 30, 2011, 7:46 AM
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As a young jumper, along with excessive drinking, I was introduced to a lot of the Songs & Poems (and variations thereof) featured in this thread. It's great to see them again, and to learn new ones.

Over the years I have written a few of my own. They are usually inspired by the funny things that happen at DZ's, competitions and at Boogies etc. Mostly they would only be understood by people who were there.

Sometimes the not so funny things also inspire:

In SA skydiving, we refer to the planet earth as "The Stone". ("Die Klip" in Afrikaans)
Despite the many who have failed at trying to beat The Stone in a one on one hitting match, every year more line up to try. Some pay the ultimate price.

To the tune of "Rainy Day Women #12 And #35"--Bob Dylan-(AKA: Everybody Must Get Stoned)

Everybody Loses To The Stone. LP.

Well the stone wins when you're trying to be so cool,
The stone will win because you are a fool.
The stone will warn you first it is quite fair
A roasted knee- some dust gets in your hair.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody loses to the stone.

Well the stone wins when you think that you are good,
The stone will win just like they said it would.
Your friends will have to drive you to your home,
The stone will warn you with a broken bone,
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody loses to the stone.

Well the stone wins when you thought you hooked it sweet,
When you're broken from your hips down to your feet.
The stone wins when you're lying on your bed
The pain is still a-throbbing in your head.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody loses to the stone.

Well the stone wins as the months they slowly pass,
You're still pulling grass and thorns out of your ass.
You're only mobile with a set of crutches
Arth--ritis has you in it's evil clutches.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody loses to the stone.

Well the stone wins when you think you can return
The stone wins when you make that last low turn.
At the church they'll say that you were really brave
The stone has won and you are in your grave.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody loses to the stone.


skybill  (D 6009)

May 30, 2011, 9:57 AM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
I have talked with both Laura Sharp at Parachutist and the Blue Skies folks about a story on songs over the years but they seem to balk at "Francine McFilthy, the Skydiving Whore," and a serious sociology story, "The Cock Choir."
I might have to self-publish.

HW



"Francine Mc Filthy"

by Little David

To the tune of "Streets of Larado"

There was a young maiden of age fifty-seven.
Who drove a blank gore like you've never seen before.
She drank and she cussed, and she smelled to high heaven.
That's Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.

We went to a jump meet in Carson, Nevada.
The troops were all lined up at the Moonlight Ranch door.
But out in the bushes, one went for a quarter.
That's Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.

Old Francine the queen of barnstorming banditos.
Would punch out S.O.S. 'till her knuckles were sore.
She'd make Pope and Bishop, in seventeen seconds,
Then take on nine jumpers, that's skydivers whore.

Way back in the old barnstorming days, I flew an old jenny.
The struts were all broken, the fabric was tore.
And out on the jumpstep, stood Francine Mc Filthy.
The pride of Milpitas, that skydiver's whore.

Francine was married to old Ernie Perkins;
The wedding took place in the back of a store;
The troops was all drinkin' and fightin' and yellin',
And Ernie got cursed wid' a skydiving whore.

Old Francine looked lovely, she smiled at the preacher.
A pioneer jumpsuit, the gown that she wore.
Behind her sweet back, she gave us the finger.
That raunchy old bastard, that skydiver's whore.

The marriage was short lived, and so was old Ernie.
He crashed through a church roof, and died on the floor.
Francine missed the funeral, for a night jump at Chico.
So what's more important to a skydiving whore.

Then one day it happened, her navy rig failed her.
She tracked for Lake Merrit, but just made the shore.
She closed bloodshot eyes, and smiled through her AssHole...
And that was the end of our skydiving whore.

So hang your head low boys and cry in your muscat.
The pride of Milpitas is with us no more.
And the noise that your hear at twelve-five is not thunder.
But the voice of old Francine, our skydiving whore.

And now somewhere on that eternal drop zone.
Stands one who hollers and beats on the door.
Won't you break down and hand out a drink there St. Peter.
To Francine Mc Filthy, the skydiver's whore.

Hi Jimmy and Howard,
Oh the songs!! As long as there are Skydivers there will be songs to sing!! 'Got a copy of "The Parachute Songbook" Dickie and Marilin Webb at the old "Rumbleseat Tavern" at old Elsinore had a few for sale back in '67 or so, 'bought one. Yup Francine was in it. Here some bunch of trips around the sun later I wonder. Somewhere in Central Cal. where the old Diablo and Calistoga Skydivers used to roam, is a lonely old Church Graveyard with two tombstones side by side, for Ernie and Francine Perkins. If you stand at their graveside and listen, that's not the wind you hear but the sound of old cheapo's opening on high and the laughter of old Skydivers who know why the birds sing!!

Maybe Little David age 39 1/2 might know where Fran and Ernie r.i.p.???


(This post was edited by skybill on May 30, 2011, 12:33 PM)


ddemarest

Jan 15, 2013, 11:09 PM
Post #98 of 101 (1979 views)
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Re: [airtwardo] Skydiving Songs & Poems [In reply to] Can't Post

This was written by my dad, Little David Demarest too. I have his original song book somewhere.


kallend  (D 23151)

Jan 18, 2013, 3:40 PM
Post #99 of 101 (1911 views)
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Re: [ddemarest] Skydiving Songs & Poems [In reply to] Can't Post

 
It's remarkable how clean most of these are, in comparison to the rugby song book.


ddemarest

Jan 21, 2013, 9:13 AM
Post #100 of 101 (1858 views)
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Re: [kallend] Skydiving Songs & Poems [In reply to] Can't Post

Haha, I think they've been cleaned up a bit, my dad wouldn't even let me see the original. I had to wait till he was gone, and I still haven't read all of them!


ddemarest

Jan 21, 2013, 10:53 AM
Post #101 of 101 (596 views)
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Re: [airtwardo] Skydiving Songs & Poems(Nightjump) [In reply to] Can't Post

Yep, dad was a talented writer but his songs and other prose we're definitely not PG rated!



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