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stupidest student ever?

 

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FrogNog  (C 34484)

Dec 19, 2003, 10:31 PM
Post #176 of 309 (4584 views)
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Re: [dmitch31] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Quote:
Maybe a super-Lutz could even screw that situation up though, like maybe disconnect the leg and chest straps and fall out of the harness, because he thought they were deployment handles.

Oh my gosh, you are slayin' me man! Definitely ROFL!!! What I wanna know is, How did this guy get through law school. I mean REALLY???!?

I can think of two things that might explain it: 1. law school doesn't require you to think quite as fast as skydiving and 2. in law school and skydiving, you do better if you really want to.


dropoutdave  (C 105964)

Dec 20, 2003, 3:45 AM
Post #177 of 309 (4567 views)
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Re: [WrongWay] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Hahahah I did exactly the same thing when I converted to throw out. I bet the look on my face was an absolute classic when I realised I still had my PC in my hand. I let go of the thing like it was on fire!


Liemberg  (Student)

Dec 20, 2003, 4:34 AM
Post #178 of 309 (4557 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
im hosting this years dumbest student awards.
I take it that candidates who are eligible MUST have actually jumped, right? You don't get awarded for stupid questions in the classroom or stupid moves in the suspended harness?

Whenever an 'award winning stupid student' makes it out of the door of a perfectly good airplane there is at least one instructor nearby who thinks 'Oh - He / she will be fine...'

Not pointing fingers here, just food for thought, for
on a few occasions I was that instructor Blush

(Granted tough, life wood be so much easier when they arrived with a stamp on their forehead: "stupid is as stupid does" Smile )


Casquito  (C License)

Dec 20, 2003, 1:01 PM
Post #179 of 309 (4510 views)
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Re: [bch7773] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I did my AFF out at Perris and did note some things after watching that hilarious ass video.
1. They hang you in mock up harnesses and make you do cutaways ad nauseum before the jump. How the hell do you reach for the cutaway when they pound into your head that you're getting rid of your canopy? As a corollary, they teach the next step is to pull the silver one immediately as part of the whole process- looks like he waited quite some time to pull the reserve.
2. All student rigs have RSL's on them and they check them as part of the gear check before jumping. What happened there?
3. All student rigs have Cypres' on them. I'm suprised Lutz didn't take off the rig and disassemble the Cypres while he was at it.
4. It's damn hard to hit the powerlines out there in the north field. He must have been aiming for them on purpose. While he was at it, he should have aimed for some other hazards out there like the 215 freeway with the big trucks speeding by. On second thought, he probably couldn't have reached it so he settled for the powerlines instead after considering the swoop pond, hangar, and water canal as possible landing sites.
People do all kinds of stupid things up there and you can attribute alot of it to nervousness and the like. In his case, yes he was incredibly stupid, and gets the Darwin award, but if it weren't for his dumb comments, we'd all just get a good laugh out of it. To lie and cover his stupidity by blaming it on the JMs and the sport in general is both cowardly and supremely stupid. Did he not realize that by making the comments he did, he'd turned a stupid and dangerous mistake that, in the end, would have been a good story to tell over a beer into an incident which will effectively ostracize him from the skydiving community? He sounds like he came back asking for more, so maybe he really did want to learn. Better change his name and move away if he does. And get a facelift too while he's at it. His dumbass mug is going to be infamous at DZ's the world over.


dkf1979  (Student)

Dec 21, 2003, 12:52 AM
Post #180 of 309 (4464 views)
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Re: [champu] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
this happened when I was actually a student, not to me though but I was on the load.

I was on static line progression getting set for my first clear and pull, I was going to be the second one out of the 182 so I was sitting behind the pilot, a great view for all this.

Jumper #1 goes to climb out, looses his footing and almost falls off the plane, but is still holding the strut with one hand. He muscles his other arm back up to the strut and pulled himself back up onto the step. Then he proceedes to maneuver his way to the edge of the strut and get into a hanging position, then looks back at the instructor to get the go signal like nothing had happened.

At this point I forget I'm about to do my first freefall and just start laughing hysterically. After getting the signal and letting go of the strut, the student dearched and dumped on his back. one of his line sets wrapped around his shoe and his parachute deployed in a slight turn with him hanging upside down underneath it. He kicked out of his shoe and got flipped right side up, and had an otherwise uneventful canopy ride.

After his exit the jumpmaster signaled to the pilot to circle around so she could watch and make sure he get his foot unstuck.

At this point I suddenly remember I'm doing my first freefall and start worrying, asking everyone frantically if the guy was okay. I was assured he was and I was able to make my first freefall just fine.

that's hilarious. also kinda what i was thinking was gonna happen to me on my first s/l jump. Crazy


Conundrum

Dec 21, 2003, 2:04 AM
Post #181 of 309 (4478 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

omg this thread has some of the funniest shit I have ever read. Laugh


Casquito  (C License)

Dec 21, 2003, 10:10 PM
Post #182 of 309 (4386 views)
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Re: [Casquito] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I was out at Perris today and talked to the intructors involved in Sparky's wild ride. Apparently it was 10 years ago and they were not cypres equipped but had another aad. There was a rsl but apparently did not deploy the reserve.
What a tool.
That said I did my first cutaway today, but after my main deployed... line over.


DanglesOZQld  (F 623)

Dec 21, 2003, 11:35 PM
Post #183 of 309 (4370 views)
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Re: [PhreeZone] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
Student that was complaining about the slider being down and how they were trying to pump the brakes and make it go back up? Same student about chopped since the slider was making weird noises.

I had a student like that once also. He landed ok and then said something like "Jeez I am glad that the canopy landed ok , the slider would not go UP!" We sat down and I had a rather long debrief including why the slider is there and what its purpose is , this being in addition to the training already given him on the same thing before his jump. I met the same guy out of the blue about six months later and you guessed it..........complained of having the same trouble at another dz when he decided to go on another jump just for the hell of it. I then explained to him for the THIRD TIME........ "Some people really should take up lawn bowls......" -A quote from the 62 yr old VERY experienced CI I sometimes work with!!!!!! BSBD -Mark.


Designer  (D 5771)

Dec 22, 2003, 7:45 AM
Post #184 of 309 (4317 views)
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Re: [Fab] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Here is dead now!But,check this out!The dump ass repeatedly landed in every swamp at our DZ!Finally,we asked him to please go somewhere else to skydive!(this guy was really a menace!)


algboy  (A 4)

Dec 26, 2003, 1:02 PM
Post #185 of 309 (4218 views)
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Re: [Liemberg] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Quote:
im hosting this years dumbest student awards.
I take it that candidates who are eligible MUST have actually jumped, right? You don't get awarded for stupid questions in the classroom or stupid moves in the suspended harness?

Whenever an 'award winning stupid student' makes it out of the door of a perfectly good airplane there is at least one instructor nearby who thinks 'Oh - He / she will be fine...'

Not pointing fingers here, just food for thought, for
on a few occasions I was that instructor Blush

(Granted tough, life wood be so much easier when they arrived with a stamp on their forehead: "stupid is as stupid does" Smile )

After re-reading this entire thread, I have settled on three major thoughts:

1) maybe the best way to "thin the herd" would be to pass a law requiring all adults to do an AFF I.

2) it seems that many of the problems with these students is that the instructor ASS-U-ME-D that the student knew what all the handles are there for, what a slider looks--and sounds--like, what a good canopy should look like, what actions are required when telling a student to "turn right" under canopy, etc.

3) sometimes all the instruction and hand-holding in the world cannot eliminate the this-sport-is-not-for-you factor.

BTW, they just had Mr. Lutz's infamous jump on the Stupid Behavior Caught On Tape a few nights ago. They were most sarcastic about the whole thing. He'll probably sue them next.
Crazy


vonSanta

Dec 26, 2003, 11:16 PM
Post #186 of 309 (4157 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

How about this: newbie student jumper on S/L. Canopy opens fine.

Now we share the arifield with gliders who're pulled up along a wire. When one glider is launched, there's usually one alnding. Therefore: no crossing the runway if you're 500 meters or below.

Student is on radio. Doesn't heed instructions. End up flying low, directly over the runway and parallel to it at less than 300 meters. The woman guiding him down is screaming to him so loud his radio can be heard from the ground. Student does nothing.

Steel cable launches the gliders narrowly miss him and clip the extreme outer edge of his canopy. When he lands his canopy wraps around a just landed glider that has come to a halt maybe half a second prior to him landing.

His excuses: a) "couldn't hear the radio" and b) (once told that *it could be heard *on the ground*): "the woman guiding me down was giving me wrong info. She wasn't guiding me down safely, so I ignored her".

Student was perma-grounded.


(This post was edited by vonSanta on Dec 26, 2003, 11:18 PM)


themitchyone  (A 45471)

Dec 27, 2003, 9:43 AM
Post #187 of 309 (4105 views)
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Re: [Casquito] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I did my AFF out at Perris and did note some things after watching that hilarious ass video.

I didn't realize that Lutz was at Perris. I'm going to watch that video again, but the site is down! Tongue

4. It's damn hard to hit the powerlines out there in the north field. He must have been aiming for them on purpose. While he was at it, he should have aimed for some other hazards out there like the 215 freeway with the big trucks speeding by. On second thought, he probably couldn't have reached it so he settled for the powerlines instead after considering the swoop pond, hangar, and water canal as possible landing sites.

You are so right. I remember in that video it was as if he was trying to flock up. Maybe he was looking to sue or just to get notoriety. More stupid!


jumpingjoe  (A 43349)

Dec 31, 2003, 7:35 AM
Post #188 of 309 (4007 views)
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Re: [themitchyone] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

OK...I have a couple but I will start with this one. An AFF student comes to the DZ. He manages to piss just about everyone off within his first jump class. A real attitude. During his AFF he would call the DZ to find out the weather, but live 1.5 hours away, then yells at manifest because the weather changed and he can't jump. On level two or three he was under canopy and listening to radio, the instructor was attempting to guide him and told him to flat turn to his left a little (DZ is on his right but he was high) for a couple of quick s turns. The guy makes a HARD left. Nose dives a bit and lands in the tree line. He was high enough that no one can reach him. The DZ has a resident Tree Expert but unfortunatly he was 45 minutes away. So up in the tree he sat. Once he got down, he yelled at the AFF instructor for telling him to turn. Explaining to the AFF instructor that the instructor did not understand what he was doing. The instructor tried to explain what was going on and the student just made a comment that the instructor just didn't get it.

Well hanging in a tree for about an hour could not have happened to a nicer guy.


jumpingjoe  (A 43349)

Dec 31, 2003, 8:02 AM
Post #189 of 309 (3987 views)
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Re: [jumpingjoe] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Ok...here is one about myself. Level 6.2...yes I failed the first time around. Well my JM said that he wanted me to do a superman exit on this go around since my exits were going great. Well we are at altitude my JM steps outside on the step, I look at him look down, and take a step backward. My JM is waving frantically for me to jump, I hear him screaming c'mon, c'mon. I look again and back up again. He then SCREAMS JUUUMMMPPPP!!!!!! I closed my eyes and rolled out the plane. The worst exit I ever did.

Now I love them!!!! Sly


jumpingjoe  (A 43349)

Dec 31, 2003, 8:18 AM
Post #190 of 309 (3976 views)
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Re: [jumpingjoe] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

OK...I got one more....Picture this....a beautiful blue sky day in NJ. At the DZ it is safety day. We just finished lectures about canopy landing patterns and all that fun stuff. So this person goes up on her first jump off student status. She was never fully comfortable under canopy and as she is coming in, you can tell that she is landing off. One of the guys takes the 6 wheeler out to go pick her up. After a long delay he comes back with her and she is soaked and muddy, puzzled everyone askes where she landed. Well, she discovered a swamp that most of us never knew existed. She manged to get blown throw the narrowest of areas avoiding sticker bushes and trees. The 6 wheeler went back to get the gear and now is stuck in the mud floating in the swamp. So a couple more of us head out. The safety guy who only got to the DZ a few days ago is with us and starts heading out into the muck to get the gear. As he steps down he sinks to his neck in thick black muck. So now we have a safety guy, and a 6 wheeler stuck in the swamp. The safety guy manages to get himself out and get to the gear. We get the 6 wheeler unstuck as well. So off we go...so we thought. The 4x4 pickup truck that we were all in is now spinning all four tires. So now that is out. So after about 2 hours of playing in mud getting things unstuck the day is good. But not for this poor girl. She decides to go to the liquor store to buy beer for everyone and at age 35, soaking wet and covered in mud...they won't sell it to her because they believe her id is fake.

After all that, and a Scott Miller canopy class, she is doing awesome as a skydiver.

Blue Skies to all
and to all a drunk night!


Casurf1978  (A License)

Jan 6, 2004, 10:48 AM
Post #191 of 309 (3846 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Still in Aff so newbie with cap N, dont know if i should be posting here but just a few quick questions to any jms out there. When you get new students can you 'tell' which ones might end up in this thread or ones which just shouldn't be jumping? Have any one of you ever refused to jump with a student for any reason?


lawrocket  (Student)

Oct 11, 2004, 8:51 PM
Post #192 of 309 (3584 views)
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Re: [Casurf1978] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Just saw the Lutz episode on "Maximum Exposure" today. THought I'd refresh this thread in his dishonor.

p.s. - astonished that he said absolutely nothing (nor did the narrator) about what he did wrong.


nate_1979  (B 27889)

Oct 11, 2004, 8:58 PM
Post #193 of 309 (3580 views)
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Re: [lawrocket] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Just saw the Lutz episode on "Maximum Exposure" today. THought I'd refresh this thread in his dishonor.

p.s. - astonished that he said absolutely nothing (nor did the narrator) about what he did wrong.

LOL.. "I looked up and the canopy was round and full" haha...


GeordieSkydiver  (D 105023)

Oct 12, 2004, 12:43 AM
Post #194 of 309 (3515 views)
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Re: [nate_1979] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Not too dumb, but funny anyway.

I had done about 40(ish) jumps and was jumping in Northern Ireland. I'd previously only jumped PC, but these rigs were rip cord.

1st jump and I throw the ripcord away... oops...

2nd jump, I throw the ripcord away...... Blush...

3rd jump....you got it....I throw the ripcord away... this is getting embarrasing.... thats 3 crates of beer I owe...

4th jump.... I throw the ripcord away.

Go figure....

Lee


ernguru  (C License)

Oct 12, 2004, 4:40 AM
Post #195 of 309 (3477 views)
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Re: [WrongWay] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I could probably qualify for this award, that is, if I liked golf.

Few years ago, back in my student days, I went through my ground school after doing my 4 tandems. During this time, we did practice stuff on the ground with throwout pc's, naturally. When I did my tandems, I had a ripcord. Big difference between the two. Well, we got in the air, the dive couldn't have gone better (really it was great, i have video) until pull time. I grab my pilot chute, and for some stupid reason, think "ripcord". That's right kids, I held onto my pilot chute. No shit, there I was, thought I was gonna die, with nothing above my head, thinking I had a total mal. I let go of the "ripcord" to go for my cutaway and POOF, canopy. Cool Needless to say, I was the ass of more than a few jokes on the ground, and I always tell new students now "Trust me, you could have done dumber things." I still watch the video sometimes just to have a good laugh. It's in slow-mo at that point, hahaha!!!!

I remember this one. I also had just moved from the ripcord to the throwaway. 1st jump all ok.
2nd jump pulled held on thinking shit taking a while to open had a look above me and saw this cloth flapping in my hand. DOH THROWAWAY. Got a few comments from my instructor. 3rd jump same thing thinking I'm not going to lose the ripcord and pay a fine. Finally realised when I was going for cutaway. What made me stop doing it was my instructor telling me if I did it again then he was going to ban me for a month.
Golf's a boring sport anyway........


DJL  (C License)

Oct 12, 2004, 4:55 AM
Post #196 of 309 (3470 views)
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Re: stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Student did 40-50 military static line jumps and wanted to bring his wife out for a rollercoater ride. DZO gives the lecture on why to do a tandem instead of AFF but the guy doesn't listen. He has a solid AFF jump, deployment, and canopy ride until about 150 feet. He hears his instructor tell his wife "(name) flare", and he flares. He puts his canopy into a stall and drops towards the grounds. The back corners of the canopy touch and he flies backwards towards a hangar as the canopy continues to collapse. The instructor sees this and yells, "let up on the brakes." Now at 30 ft, the canopy reinflates, surges forward into full flight, the student is at 60 degrees looking at the taxiway. He flares again and swings through the pendulum just enough to scrape hard against the taxiway. He tore through the seat of his jumpsuit and removed most of the skin from his knuckles.


skyhighkiy  (B License)

Oct 12, 2004, 8:20 AM
Post #197 of 309 (3409 views)
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Re: stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

2 stories here.

I have a buddy that I was jumping with over the summer, he was a cool guy but rather afraid to hang by his hands, off the strut of the C-182. He'd always hook his arm over it.

anyway, one day (I think i was his...30th somethin jump) he climbed out on to the strut and hung by his arm. I guess he'd been gunning for camera time (tandem camera) and he let go with one arm to get his face in the shot. THe video is hilarious as you watch him slide all the way down the strut and up against the body of the plane while hanging by one arm, a look of terror as he's screaming. he then lets go, spinsa round, lands on the step, and slides his way off the step in to freefall....I can't tell you how many times we watched that in slow-mo


2nd story. 2 incidents within a week of each other, same guy. student has tons of time to turn either direction, (at least a good couple hundred) and ends up going straight in to the only tree that's not completely but almost to the entire side of the landing zone.

Week after, (1st day since tree incident) He comes in again, another huge straight in approach, lands and goes sliding and tumbling across the tar mac. rips R.O.L (not in use) off the lleg strap, scuffs on the container, broke the little bit of line that goes through the 3 ring system.


Praetorian  (B 27234)

Oct 12, 2004, 8:36 AM
Post #198 of 309 (3399 views)
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Re: [skyhighkiy] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

post the video? ask your friend first if you want to be nice but damn thats gotta be funnie (give that we know he lived with mostly just wounded pride)


skyhighkiy  (B License)

Oct 12, 2004, 3:50 PM
Post #199 of 309 (3259 views)
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Re: [Praetorian] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

i'll see if i can get it :)

yeh, no injury


BillyVance  (D 18895)

Oct 12, 2004, 4:17 PM
Post #200 of 309 (3243 views)
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Re: [DJL] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I remember one from the DZ where I started. My instructor (I had already graduated from student status) was working with another student, and he had gone over the plan with him several times before the jump. The student was to climb all the way out on the strut of the C182, and the instructor was next to him with a foot on the step. He goes, Ready Set Go and leaves, but the student is still hanging and I see the instructor with a disgusted "HEY!" look on his face... I look at the student, back down at the instructor, back at the student, and takes off myself, and the idiot is still hanging there!! Crazy he did finally let go a few seconds after me...

Blue Skies
Billy


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