Forums: Skydiving: Safety and Training:
stupidest student ever?

 


tattoojeff  (A License)

Sep 9, 2003, 9:30 PM
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stupidest student ever? Can't Post

ok lets have some good laughs.
im hosting this years dumbest student awards. lets hear your candidates story.
this years prize is a set of golfclubs.


Premier PhreeZone  (D License)
Moderator
Sep 9, 2003, 9:39 PM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Student that was complaining about the slider being down and how they were trying to pump the brakes and make it go back up? Same student about chopped since the slider was making weird noises. (I seem to get about 1-2 of those types per year Crazy)

Looking at my student progression has multiple nominations in it too Blush


tattoojeff  (A License)

Sep 9, 2003, 9:43 PM
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Re: [PhreeZone] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

lmfao that is so funny. i think this thread is going to have me rolling.
our s&ta once wrote T.U.G. in a student logbook.
Take Up Golf


(This post was edited by tattoojeff on Sep 9, 2003, 9:46 PM)


Premier PhreeZone  (D License)
Moderator
Sep 9, 2003, 9:49 PM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

How about the one that as I'm walking them to the door of the Casa to do a tandem they realized that you have to see out the plane to jump. We had to back out since they started freaking on me a little bit (but kept saying they wanted to jump). Thats an experience trying to walk backwards to the tail gate and not tell the student they only have 3 seconds till they back into open air. Once we got out and I got the drogue out the skydive went great.

The tandem that pulled on me at 9k since he misread the alti was a fun one too... He though the 9 was a 6 and he ha to pull at 6000 Crazy


lazerq3  (C -34113)

Sep 9, 2003, 10:43 PM
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Re: [PhreeZone] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Dont know if this classifies as stupid STUDENTbut when I had about 30 jumps or so still learning about my canopy and packing and all I came into the hanger form a jump and started to flake out my nose when I noticed a big hole in my canopy ..."GOD DAMIT" I shouted!!! One of the J/M came over to see what was wrong.." I dont know how but I just tore my canopy"!!!! "F#CK" as I threw it down all pissed off.... The J/M then piccked it up to look at it and then said "Hey ...you didnt tare it....thats the port holes in the ribs..." "See.. they all have those holes"!!! ...I felt pretty stupid the rest of the day!!Crazy


jason


Nullified  (C 32259)

Sep 9, 2003, 11:49 PM
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Re: [PhreeZone] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:

The tandem that pulled on me at 9k since he misread the alti was a fun one too... He though the 9 was a 6 and he ha to pull at 6000 Crazy

I saw video of one even better than that.
Tandem exits the Otter at 13.5k, TM throws out the drogue.
As pre discussed, the TM then pats the student on the shoulders, indicating to the student to bring his arms out from his chest. The student glances at the alti and deploys.

I also witnessed another student...around 13 jumps... cutaway a perfectly good canopy. When asked why, he replied, "I don't know, I just panicked."

Stay safe.


mr2mk1g  (C 103449)

Sep 10, 2003, 1:47 AM
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Re: [Nullified] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

there's a guy in england who took 180 jumps to graduate from RAPS. He's an old guy who had an in built turn cos of a gammy leg. Bought his own static line kit and the lot.

Saw him doing a 3 way at the weekend.

Not stupid, gallant I'd say to continue to try and master stability so long. Most would give up.


D22369  (D 22369)

Sep 10, 2003, 2:17 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

How bout a student that had leg straps slip enough that she couldnt reach the toggles.........so she chopped..........you guessed it, she couldnt reach the toggles on the reserve either......Pirate she just forgot all about using the risers to guide the canopy and narrowly (by the grace of god) missed taking the wing off a parked plane......

Roy


shunkka  (C 35678)

Sep 10, 2003, 4:10 AM
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Re: [PhreeZone] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Same student about chopped since the slider was making weird noises. (I seem to get about 1-2 of those types per year Crazy)

this is the best
he`ll WIN the trophee


airtwardo  (D License)

Sep 10, 2003, 9:21 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

This one goes back a couple decades..

We were standing outside the hangar having a smoke when

WHAM!

This white motorcycle helmets smashes to pieces 10 feet from us!

...The staticline student had taken it off and thrown it away,
because he said he couldn't hear the 'emergency radio'
and had asked a question he wasn't hearing a response to!


Well...
He DIDN'T HAVE a radio!
He was trying to 'tune' in the Sentinel AOD! Unsure


davelepka  (D 21448)

Sep 10, 2003, 9:47 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

 
A student once mistook the arch signal (thumbs down) for the pull signal on the first COA on AFF level 1. He dumped at 12k. The main side JM had a handheld radio, and pulled immediately to guide him down. I was shooting video, and rolled over to film the opening, then did a little freeflying with the reserve side JM.


bodypilot90  (D 24249)

Sep 10, 2003, 1:02 PM
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Re: [davelepka] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

a brit at our dz had a nice freefall. nice opening but then all hell broke lose. He flew his canopy right toward a stand of trees. 1st jump master gave up and handed the radio to someone else. At 100 feet or so he thinks oh no I'm headed for the trees and chops. Darwin missed this one as a tree caught the reserve and he walked away. He did come back and asked to jump again. Tongue Then went on every tv show and said how unsafe the dz was.


Fast  (D 28237)

Sep 10, 2003, 1:17 PM
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Re: [bodypilot90] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
a brit at our dz had a nice freefall. nice opening but then all hell broke lose. He flew his canopy right toward a stand of trees. 1st jump master gave up and handed the radio to someone else. At 100 feet or so he thinks oh no I'm headed for the trees and chops. Darwin missed this one as a tree caught the reserve and he walked away. He did come back and asked to jump again. Tongue Then went on every tv show and said how unsafe the dz was.

That soooo has to take the prize! Crazy


tspillers  (D 21601)

Sep 10, 2003, 1:27 PM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

This one isn't exactly stupid, but entertaining none the less.

A first jump AFF student after an exceptable freefall, deployed. We landed and the other instructor was talking him down. He responded to an initial turn to ensure communication and then quit responding around 1500-2000 feet. The other instructor though maybe the student did not understand his accent and gave me the radio. Still no response. The student passed out and landed off the DZ luckily in an open area otherwise covered with trees, houses, and other obstacles and woke up on landing with no more than a couple of bruises.

The other instructor and I bought beer for that one.

Todd


PhillyKev

Sep 10, 2003, 1:39 PM
Post #15 of 309 (17194 views)
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Re: [PhreeZone] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
Student that was complaining about the slider being down and how they were trying to pump the brakes and make it go back up?

How about the one that actually chopped it and then when the same thing happened on their reserve, "fought it" all the way to the ground where they proceeded to face plant on the runway and break their legs.


vonSanta

Sep 10, 2003, 3:38 PM
Post #16 of 309 (17102 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Heh, I saw some TV show ehre they had an AFF student narrate his 'hair raising adventure'.

Come pull time, he messes up and pulls the cutaway handle., just as an instructor pulls for him.

"And then the chute sorta just went away! It isn't supposed to do that, but I was not that troubled"

On the video one can see him spin away like crazy. Eventually the reserve pops out

"Then I got the reserve out [wasn't him that got it out] and everything was fine. Until i was about to land."

Clip showing him heading in from 900 feet straight for the only powerline for miles and miles. Clip ends with him landing in the powerlines and sparks flying.

"I could do nothing to avoid them, they were just there suddenly [never mind he had several minutes to act].

"Yeah, it was exciting, but that's skydiving".

Paraphrasing this whole deal, been a while since I saw it.

Ummmm.


(This post was edited by vonSanta on Sep 10, 2003, 3:39 PM)


Biscuit  (A License)

Sep 10, 2003, 3:59 PM
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Re: [lazerq3] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Dont know if this classifies as stupid STUDENTbut when I had about 30 jumps or so still learning about my canopy and packing and all I came into the hanger form a jump and started to flake out my nose when I noticed a big hole in my canopy ..."GOD DAMIT" I shouted!!! One of the J/M came over to see what was wrong.." I dont know how but I just tore my canopy"!!!! "F#CK" as I threw it down all pissed off.... The J/M then piccked it up to look at it and then said "Hey ...you didnt tare it....thats the port holes in the ribs..." "See.. they all have those holes"!!! ...I felt pretty stupid the rest of the day!!Crazy


jason

I did the same thing! Only my rigger led my on for a while, "OH my god!" he says, "There's another one! Oh shit, another! What the hell did you do!?"

hehehe

Cool


JeffD  (Student)

Sep 10, 2003, 4:34 PM
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Re: [vonSanta] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.


Cornjumper  (D License)

Sep 10, 2003, 8:58 PM
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Re: [JeffD] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Whoa,
if you watch the video you can see the instructor try and move the students hand back to the pilot chute but the student resists and grabs the cutaway. I even think the instructor tried to get the student to release the handle but couldn't so he pulled the pilot chute to get the main out of the way and work on getting an open reserve. That is definitely a dumb student.

Max-X kicks arse!!


jumper03  (D License)

Sep 10, 2003, 9:12 PM
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Re: [JeffD] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.

"I deployed the chute..."

WHAT??? That segment made it sound like he did things right... idiot pulled the cut-away!!


skylord  (A 47693)

Sep 10, 2003, 10:36 PM
Post #21 of 309 (16909 views)
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Re: [jumper03] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.

"I deployed the chute..."

WHAT??? That segment made it sound like he did things right... idiot pulled the cut-away!!

I noticed that too, but it also made it sound like the jumpmasters did nothing but "watching him go bye-bye." I saw one jumpmaster go all the way down with him, the student's reserve went out, I couldn't tell how it was deployed, but I did notice that the jumpmaster's chute was not out when our hero's chute opened.

That kind of stuff really inspires me, quite frankly. It helps me feel safe with AFF, that no matter what I do or happens, someone is there to try and keep me alive. Cheers to my future AFF instructors! I will do my best not to be stupid.

Bob

ps: if someone knows who that jumpmaster was, PM me and I'll send beer. I was that impressed.


bch7773  (C License)

Sep 10, 2003, 10:56 PM
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Re: [jumper03] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

yeah they were talking about that video a long time ago in talkback... it pisses me off that the producers made it sound like this schmuck did everything correct, and it was the parachutes/instructors fault that everything bad happened.

I guess he probably gave them the video, and explained it to them that it was all other peoples fault, and the producers never even bothered to check.Mad


Dagny  (B 28462)

Sep 10, 2003, 11:10 PM
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Re: [bch7773] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

i can't believe that guy seriously went on tv to tell this story and its really wrong that tv producers didn't have an instructor there to publicly address his stupidity!

Some people just won't die no matter how hard they try.

My fave is watching him float into power lines with all that open field beside him!


NoShitThereIWas  (D 25347)

Sep 10, 2003, 11:18 PM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Ooooooooh! Oooooooooooh! I could use some golf clubs. Blush

Okay, I have at least one good story to tell that I can think of off the top of my head but that is something I would have to PM you.

Do I still win the Golf Clubs Jeff?


tattoojeff  (A License)

Sep 10, 2003, 11:28 PM
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Re: [NoShitThereIWas] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

o definitly pm me the story.
and as for that retard on t.v. that pulled his cutaway,
well all i can say is a quote from brian burke, "sometimes its best to just let them go in". lol


tattoojeff  (A License)

Sep 10, 2003, 11:37 PM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

i got one more.
aff student was so totaly unstable the affI dumped the students main around 7000ish. under a good canopy at around 2000ft this brainchild choped his main, and went to reserve. when asked what the fuck? he said i was told that if i havent pulled by 2500 to got to my reserve. and i never did pull, (the instructor pulled for him) so i went to my reserve.


skyhpp  (C 840)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:38 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Know Thy Gear - +/- 1983

A friend of mine on about 50 jumps (all on rounds) decided it was time to try out a more advanced canopy - the Para Commander - which he had heard a lot about.

Got the rig, kitted up, and jumped - we see the PC deploy perfectly - then suddenly he cuts away and deploys his reserve!!

When he got back we asked why he had cut away a perfectly good main - his reply was "When it opened all I could see was holes (modifications) everywhere - I figured something had to be wrong, so I chopped!!CrazyCrazySly


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 11, 2003, 1:36 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
i got one more.
aff student was so totaly unstable the affI dumped the students main around 7000ish. under a good canopy at around 2000ft this brainchild choped his main, and went to reserve. when asked what the fuck? he said i was told that if i havent pulled by 2500 to got to my reserve. and i never did pull, (the instructor pulled for him) so i went to my reserve.

What a fucking nuggett!!! I cant beleive how thick some people are!!!


ScottishJohn  (C 102343)

Sep 11, 2003, 2:50 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I vote that this guy gets the golf clubs.

How do people this stupid ever reach the age old enough to skydive. Obviously natural selection is not working , it's time to cull the fuckwits Tongue


pa2themd  (D 852)

Sep 11, 2003, 3:20 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

ROTFLMAO

Thanks guys, that is just what I needed, a good laugh tpo get me outta my terrible bad mood!!!!Wink


BBKid  (B 104059)

Sep 11, 2003, 6:59 AM
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Re: [ScottishJohn] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

What a wanker!!!

So, the chute was "full and round" eh? Seriously, I have never heard of an AFF program using round mains, but the reserve was probably his definition of round too, which is why he didn't turn away from the power lines.

Having said that, I do know of one other person who cut away in freefall, but this guy was experienced enough to know better, he just places waaaaay too much faith in reserves! Cool Shambown!


(This post was edited by BBKid on Sep 11, 2003, 6:59 AM)


a97virago  (A 43434)

Sep 11, 2003, 7:31 AM
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Re: [Dagny] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Totally off track here, but I just found that poem in Mental Training for Skydiving and Life by John Derosalia and I loved it! Excellent choice of siggie Dagny!


ryoder  (D 6663)

Sep 11, 2003, 7:32 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

A couple months back we had the winds shoot up to about 25+ m/h just as people were exiting. In the midst of all this excitement, a guy with about 30 jumps had a cutaway and reserve ride.

His explanation was that when he saw he was backing up and couldn't make the peas, he cut away (from a perfectly good canopy) in order to get down lower and closer to the landing area.

And he swore he was taught to do this.


nightjumps  (D 23385)

Sep 11, 2003, 7:48 AM
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Re: [vonSanta] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

And the rest of that story is; that particular incident is on "Students at play" video for those who attend the AFF course. The student who hit the power lines; as it turns out is an attorney who sued the AFF/JM (who invented new signals to get him to pull the reserve and took himself down to 1500'.

In court, the JM was found non-negilgent and the attorney lost, so he sued the power company for putting the lines there.

sheesh.


riggerrob  (D 14840)

Sep 11, 2003, 9:09 AM
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Re: [nightjumps] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I) Static-line student waited until the edge of the airfield to stick a foot out. He took forever to climb out, then did not let go until I yelled "GO!" for the third time. Under canopy, he turned to face the forest, spent the entire canopy ride facing the forest, then was surprised when he landed in the forest.

2) A female tandem student was doing a reverse arch, so I jammed my heels into the tops of her knees to correct her body position. She took this as a "Pull" signal and deployed us at 11,000 feet.

3) Watched a static-line student cutaway at 400 feet because she "could not get the slider to go back up." Fortunately her reserve opened quickly.

4) While riding in the plane with a Surrey-girl, I asked her if she wanted me to attach the big hook on her right shoulder.
She: "Naw, don't bother."
Me, joking: "So would you like me to throw you out of the airplane and chase you?"
She, seriously : "Sure."


metalslug  (B 2528)

Sep 11, 2003, 9:11 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
aff student was so totaly unstable the affI dumped the students main around 7000ish. under a good canopy at around 2000ft this brainchild choped his main, and went to reserve. when asked what the fuck? he said i was told that if i havent pulled by 2500 to got to my reserve. and i never did pull, (the instructor pulled for him) so i went to my reserve.

I somehow doubt this student did this out of pure stupidity. It just seems.. well.. too stupid.
I am seeing hints of sarcasm in the student's actions (which then resulted in a stupid/unsafe action).

The student perhaps felt angered that his JM was pessimistic or impatient enough to cut short his fall at 7000 and then reckoned he'd get back with a little "f**k you, I'll deploy my own canopy..", inconveniencing (and perhaps scaring) a few DZ staff by chopping at 2000 and having them recover and repack it all.

If so, it would certainly not be intelligent, safe or justifiable behaviour.. but it does seem an almost more plausible explanation than taking the student's explanation at face value.
Shocked


jumper03  (D License)

Sep 11, 2003, 9:25 AM
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Re: [metalslug] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I somehow doubt this student did this out of pure stupidity. It just seems.. well.. too stupid.
I am seeing hints of sarcasm in the student's actions (which then resulted in a stupid/unsafe action).

The student perhaps felt angered that his JM was pessimistic or impatient enough to cut short his fall at 7000 and then reckoned he'd get back with a little "f**k you, I'll deploy my own canopy..", inconveniencing (and perhaps scaring) a few DZ staff by chopping at 2000 and having them recover and repack it all.

If so, it would certainly not be intelligent, safe or justifiable behaviour.. but it does seem an almost more plausible explanation than taking the student's explanation at face value.
Shocked

If he did do that, then he had much greater presence of mind on his first jumps than I did. I was all about - "WHOAA!! WOW!!!! OMG!!!" Of course, I pulled my own rip cord so I don't know if I'd a been pissed or not - probably wouldn't have known it if I had not pulled my own cord!!

Jump


tattoojeff  (A License)

Sep 11, 2003, 10:13 AM
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Re: [metalslug] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Reply To I somehow doubt this student did this out of pure stupidity. It just seems.. well.. too stupid. __________________________

no way this kid was as pegged out as they come. theres no way he would be heads up enough to do that. not to mention his reserve came out via rsl.


CrazyIvan  (A 43359)

Sep 11, 2003, 10:33 AM
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Re: [nightjumps] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
In court, the JM was found non-negilgent and the attorney lost, so he sued the power company for putting the lines there.

Is this true?


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 11, 2003, 11:48 AM
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Re: [JeffD] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.

I just watched this video. How can something like this be shown on TV? How did that numpty wanker sit there and say "I deployed the parachute..." He blatantly pulls the cutaway!!!! Surely this would of been pointed out to him when he landed?? What a wanker! And he didnt stop his darwin award attempt there... he flew straight into power lines!! Even if i'd never seen a parachute before, id be pulling at anything to try and turn the canopy away from them!!

That seriously is the stupidest bloke ive ever seen!


Thanatos340  (B 27588)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:10 PM
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Re: [phonics1981] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I also saw a Video where the C.E.O. of Virgin Records did the exact same thing during his training before one of his Baloon Flights. At pull time he grabs and pulls the cut away and the JM deploys his chute and the RSL opens his reserve.


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:15 PM
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In reply to:
I also saw a Video where the C.E.O. of Virgin Records did the exact same thing during his training before one of his Baloon Flights. At pull time he grabs and pulls the cut away and the JM deploys his chute and the RSL opens his reserve.

Thats stupid enough ( i really couldnt imagine it happening before watching that vid) but i bet he didnt go on TV to make out he did everything right and that it was his equipment to blame!!


nightjumps  (D 23385)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:19 PM
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Re: [CrazyIvan] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
In court, the JM was found non-negilgent and the attorney lost, so he sued the power company for putting the lines there.

Is this true?

Yep.


The111  (D 29246)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:20 PM
Post #44 of 309 (5921 views)
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Re: [lazerq3] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Dont know if this classifies as stupid STUDENTbut when I had about 30 jumps or so still learning about my canopy and packing and all I came into the hanger form a jump and started to flake out my nose when I noticed a big hole in my canopy ..."GOD DAMIT" I shouted!!! One of the J/M came over to see what was wrong.." I dont know how but I just tore my canopy"!!!! "F#CK" as I threw it down all pissed off.... The J/M then piccked it up to look at it and then said "Hey ...you didnt tare it....thats the port holes in the ribs..." "See.. they all have those holes"!!! ...I felt pretty stupid the rest of the day!!Crazy

Been there, done that... about 3 weeks ago with 60 jumps or so. Unsure I even knew about crossports, lol.


CrazyIvan  (A 43359)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:22 PM
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Quote:
Yep.

It's unbelieveable, suing the power company for putting a tower 'in the wrong place', what's this world coming to?, like I said on another thread, we need to start from scratch...this is madness.Crazy


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:22 PM
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In reply to:
Quote:
In court, the JM was found non-negilgent and the attorney lost, so he sued the power company for putting the lines there.

Is this true?

Yep.

Seriously? That bloke is a big red bell end!


Lefty  (B 21029)

Sep 11, 2003, 12:36 PM
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I'd like to nominate myself. First AFF jump at Skydive Aggieland I was being guided down on radio by Steve. Steve says to make a right, I make a left. Next thing I hear is "YOUR OTHER RIGHT!!" So at this point I'm over a bunch of trees and I'm too low to turn given my lack of experience. I just picked the least intimidating tree and went right for it. When the dust settled I was dangling about a foot off the ground but was able to touch the ground so I climbed out of the rig. Steve comes racing over in the golf cart and gets it stuck in the mud. Once we had gotten the canopy out of the tree, AggieDave comes riding up in his truck and runs over the container, which is sitting on the ground. Then the monsoon starts and everyone gets soaked. All this cause I didn't know my right from my left. And that is the story of how I got the name "Lefty." Btw, I got my A-license last night, so everyone congratulate AggieDave for graduating his first student.

- Lefty


flyingferret  (D 27715)

Sep 11, 2003, 1:06 PM
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Looks at him in AWE, "He's the one...."
"Least intimidating tree" that line has echoed along the guadelupe over many beers.

Congrats on the A, especially with dave.


BigM  (D 24891)

Sep 11, 2003, 1:57 PM
Post #49 of 309 (5838 views)
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Here is a pretty damn good one.

Student is technically a novice... just getting off of student status. He makes a jump and has a Cypres fire. He then is convincing enough that it might have actually been a misfire of some type, and after some briefing gets another rig for another jump and... you guessed it, another Cypres fire. He left the DZ that day pissed as hell because they wouldn't rent him another rig to make another jump!

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!


The111  (D 29246)

Sep 11, 2003, 3:55 PM
Post #50 of 309 (5769 views)
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In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.

OMG, I know this is not the most original contribution to the discussion, but my GOD that video pissed me off. First the announcer is saying "his instructors watched him go bye bye", then he is saying "my instructor chased after me". Does anyone know what TV network made that? I am going to make it my life mission to yell at the producer of the show and Scott Lutz (the student), world class dumbass.

EDIT: GRBTV.com is the site of the company that owns the rights to the show I think... the guy is a lawyer in San Diego as someone else mentioned. Bleh. I just really hate seeing facts misrepresented on television, especially facts pertaining to something I'm so passionate about. Actions will be taken.


(This post was edited by The111 on Sep 11, 2003, 4:00 PM)


sburkart  (Student)

Sep 11, 2003, 4:22 PM
Post #51 of 309 (6163 views)
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Quote:
Actions will be taken.

Okay, but start with the idiot student.

I vote we make it official: name the Stupidist Student Award the Scott Lutz trophy, and define "Lutz
Out" (i.e. to Lutz, Lutz, etc.) as anyone who:

Spends a day in a FJC and then
goes fetal,
and/or "deploys" via cutaway,
and/or allows his canopy to fly into any fixed object,
and/or claims faulty training,
and/or files suit after unsuccessfully commiting
suicide

Edited to add: Damn! Bumped up from Newbie!
I was gonna save that for my birthday.


(This post was edited by sburkart on Sep 11, 2003, 4:24 PM)


The111  (D 29246)

Sep 11, 2003, 9:07 PM
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Ahahaha. LUTZED! That's a cool new word to use, but we'll never get to use it since no other human could meet all the prerequisites.

Honestly, I'll cut the guy some slack on all of his mistakes but one. Anyone can make mistakes on their first jump (though his were pretty bad). But misrepresenting the facts to TV and then filing the lawsuits is the part that pisses me off. Argh.


(This post was edited by The111 on Sep 11, 2003, 9:08 PM)


jumpinjackflash  (B 27757)

Sep 11, 2003, 9:19 PM
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Ahh Shit Airtwardo, that's some of the funniest shit I ever heard. At least he didn't kill one of you with the damn helmet!


LOL

Shit, I can't even speak.

jjf

it's a gas gas gas


freeflyfree  (D 28117)

Sep 12, 2003, 12:36 AM
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Quote:

I'm Hispanic, what the F.... is a gammy leg?

forgive my french....


Casch

Sep 12, 2003, 12:42 AM
Post #55 of 309 (6051 views)
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bad leg I think


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 12, 2003, 1:17 AM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.

OMG, I know this is not the most original contribution to the discussion, but my GOD that video pissed me off. First the announcer is saying "his instructors watched him go bye bye", then he is saying "my instructor chased after me". Does anyone know what TV network made that? I am going to make it my life mission to yell at the producer of the show and Scott Lutz (the student), world class dumbass.

EDIT: GRBTV.com is the site of the company that owns the rights to the show I think... the guy is a lawyer in San Diego as someone else mentioned. Bleh. I just really hate seeing facts misrepresented on television, especially facts pertaining to something I'm so passionate about. Actions will be taken.

Tell me where to send my complaint to! I cant stand that little prick either!


Jasmin  (D License)

Sep 12, 2003, 1:38 AM
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For our dear Mr Lutz, I believe the line is

"Where were you hiding when they strained out the gene pool???"
LaughTongueLaugh


TrickyDicky  (C 103196)

Sep 12, 2003, 2:04 AM
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In reply to:
I) Static-line student waited until the edge of the airfield to stick a foot out. He took forever to climb out, then did not let go until I yelled "GO!" for the third time. Under canopy, he turned to face the forest, spent the entire canopy ride facing the forest, then was surprised when he landed in the forest.

We once had a first time s/l student standing on the step of the 182. When the instructor shouted "GO!!" he looked back in and said "What.. Now?!!" Laugh


Fab  (C License)

Sep 12, 2003, 4:07 AM
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What a total idiot is that lutz. What I cannot understand is that he's willing to show up on tv with that story. "I looked up and saw a round chute". I bet he never saw his chute. He's making himself look so stupid. Sueing his Instructor and then the power company for placing the towers up there? This guy has totally lost his sanity. I bet he would sue mother earth for just being there if he went in.

Did he deploy his own reserve by the way? I thought so. Rsl would have his reserve out right away. Was it low enough for a cyprus-fire?

Is this guy so stupid that he doen'st even know his mistakes??


littlestranger  (C 34765)

Sep 12, 2003, 6:32 AM
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Quote:
This guy has totally lost his sanity.

Not only has he lost it, he's created his own reality and is actually living in it. What a maroon!

This stupid student story definitely gets my vote, and I'm all for the Lutz trophy, though I'm secretly afraid I might be a recipient one day if I don't get my head out of my...


feuergnom  (D License)

Sep 12, 2003, 6:35 AM
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that guy ist the nightmare of every jm. saw the vid some months ago and tried to find out where that friggin dumbass endangered not only himself but also his jumpmasters.
hearing now that he had the nerve to actually sue them is beyond belief. and once more it made me go puke that it is possible to find laywers to execute lawsuits like this one. luckily it got turned down

if i were one of his teachers i'd sure as hell beat the shit out a that bastard in a quiet moment. what a fuckhead he is...


sammer  (A 43037)

Sep 12, 2003, 7:34 AM
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I think this is the website for that TV show. They have a "Did we screw up" page...but it is screwed up.

http://www.maximumexp.com/

It's the Lutz guy I would really like to get my hands on.

Edit to add that the "Did we screw up" page is no longer screwed up. I sent them a really nice note.


(This post was edited by sammer on Sep 12, 2003, 7:54 AM)


Premier Tonto  (D 515)
Moderator
Sep 12, 2003, 7:45 AM
Post #63 of 309 (5933 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Crossposted from "So you want to be an Instructor..."


I've had 2 memorable ones...

1. Student cut away at about 600 ft. RSL got the reserve. landed with toggles stowed on both canopies.

Reason. Slider was not "Directly over his/her head."

"It was like 2 feet away? On top of the black things like you showed us? Oh yeah... Sorry..."

2. Student landed about 2 miles away after indicating the radio was functional. (Kick your legs if you can hear me.. (Kick, kick, kick) Turn LEFT!)

Silly me. The student was turning to face left in the harness. Just had not bothered to put his/her hands in the toggles and pull the left toggle down to turn left...

Golf. Golf is good. Go and play golf...

t


The111  (D 29246)

Sep 12, 2003, 7:52 AM
Post #64 of 309 (5931 views)
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In reply to:
What a total idiot is that lutz. What I cannot understand is that he's willing to show up on tv with that story. "I looked up and saw a round chute". I bet he never saw his chute.

I thought the exact same thing.
1) He does not look up.
2) He says he looked up and saw it deployed ("round" which is "good") and THEN it "broke away".
3) He had a square reserve so I'll bet you my life savings his main was square.
4) It would not have even had a chance to deploy cleanly. Even if he had been able to look up, instead of being busy getting jerked around by his disconnecting 3-ring... he would NOT have seen anything clean or "good"... round or square!

In reply to:
I bet he would sue mother earth for just being there if he went in.

Heh.

In reply to:
Did he deploy his own reserve by the way? I thought so. Rsl would have his reserve out right away. Was it low enough for a cyprus-fire?

Still haven't figure that one out. Obviously is was either AAD or self-deploy. I'm not considering him smart enough to deply his own, but then again, his other handle and his ripcord were already both gone. Not much else even he could do to screw that one up. One handle left... pull! Maybe a super-Lutz could even screw that situation up though, like maybe disconnect the leg and chest straps and fall out of the harness, because he thought they were deployment handles. Hrm... I wonder if the emtpy rig would have a Cypress fire? It'd be shame to get a good rig beat up for a Lutz.

I found a company called Magis Networks in San Diego that he worked for two years ago, but they don't have any forwarding info for him. I seriously want to talk to this guy, I'm not gonna yell at him (at first!) I'm just gonna tell him I'm from the Guinness book of world records, and I want to give him an award for luckiest guy alive (escaping death twice!) and need some clarification on what I saw on the show. I want to hear the lies straight from his mouth and give him a chance to fix them before I murder him. I'm so smart.


(This post was edited by The111 on Sep 12, 2003, 7:58 AM)


sammer  (A 43037)

Sep 12, 2003, 8:34 AM
Post #65 of 309 (5895 views)
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This might be your guy:

Scott Lutz


Bolas  (D License)

Sep 12, 2003, 9:43 AM
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I've got 2:

1. Myself, jump 3. I was having issues with my legs and my JM's were giving me the leg signal (2 fingers)the whole way down. Started concentrating on fixing my legs so when the signal went to 1 finger (pull, duh) my brain thought "Okay I only have to fix 1 leg now, one is right" The JM pulled for me soon after. I was extremely pissed at myself and cursing loudly the whole way down. I had my first standup landing on that jump and didn't even realize it till a dude said "nice landing."

2. A girl who was doing her first jump landed about 1-2 miles away in the trees after ignoring all radio commands. When the JM walked up to her and asked her the standard question "What is the first thing you do after you deploy and do a control check" She casually responded, "You look for your shadow" She was following her shadow the whole time.


ScubaSteve  (Student)

Sep 12, 2003, 9:53 AM
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You have to tape the conversation and post it here..


lawrocket  (Student)

Sep 12, 2003, 11:30 AM
Post #68 of 309 (5775 views)
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About this Lutz character...

I did a search and I couldn't find anything on google about a lawsuit, so I am not going to comment on that.

Attorney contact information is a public resource. Attorney Search Just type in "Lutz, Scott" and see what comes up, noting that a particular e-mail address indicates and individual who may go by "Scott"

Of course, I waive any representations that this is the person about whom you speak, and I am not providing any information here other than that which anyone can access. Thus I expressly disclaim any and all warranty regarding the veracity of this information. Furthermore, I waive any suggestion that anybody speak or otherwise contact this individual. I know I wouldn't do it.

I also would not tape any telephonic conversation. There are some laws about it, and people apparently have it on information and belief that the referenced person is sue happy. So, don't do it.

Frankly, I'd let the guy be...


The111  (D 29246)

Sep 12, 2003, 12:19 PM
Post #69 of 309 (5742 views)
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In reply to:
I also would not tape any telephonic conversation. There are some laws about it, and people apparently have it on information and belief that the referenced person is sue happy. So, don't do it.

Frankly, I'd let the guy be...

Yeh, I've thought about that, and as much as this guy pisses me off I am a nice guy and probably couldn't tell him off the way I want to. Though I may at least email him and ask him nicely if he's even aware of the truth about his "incident".

"There were powerlines EVERYWHERE!"


yoink

Sep 12, 2003, 12:27 PM
Post #70 of 309 (5732 views)
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The JM should countersue the muppet for slander - derogatory comments and loss of earnings Tongue


kai2k1  (B License)

Sep 12, 2003, 12:38 PM
Post #71 of 309 (5724 views)
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Quote:
"What is the first thing you do after you deploy and do a control check" She casually responded, "You look for your shadow" She was following her shadow the whole time.

OMG, this one reminds me of the joke about the blonde in the middle of a cornfield in a rowboat!!

TOO FUNNY!! obviously she has no common sense


sssbc99  (C License)

Sep 12, 2003, 1:17 PM
Post #72 of 309 (5696 views)
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In reply to:
About this Lutz character...

I did a search and I couldn't find anything on google about a lawsuit, so I am not going to comment on that.

Attorney contact information is a public resource. Attorney Search Just type in "Lutz, Scott" and see what comes up, noting that a particular e-mail address indicates and individual who may go by "Scott"

Of course, I waive any representations that this is the person about whom you speak, and I am not providing any information here other than that which anyone can access. Thus I expressly disclaim any and all warranty regarding the veracity of this information. Furthermore, I waive any suggestion that anybody speak or otherwise contact this individual. I know I wouldn't do it.

I also would not tape any telephonic conversation. There are some laws about it, and people apparently have it on information and belief that the referenced person is sue happy. So, don't do it.

Frankly, I'd let the guy be...

I am close enough to drive down the street and call this guy a dumbass. But in california, you can sue for anything so maybe it is not a good idea. I could just egg his house.Cool


lawrocket  (Student)

Sep 12, 2003, 1:48 PM
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I dunno. Why not have some fun and say that you need a free consultation. Say,
"Hi, I'm a skydiver, and while I was jumping at Elsinore I hit a lake. I want to sue God for putting that lake there. It's only 30 feet deep. What if I canopy didn't open and I fell into it. Not deep enough for me to survive the fall!
"Yeah, I wanted to see how far I could fall, but the instructor guy pulled my parachute for me.
"I hear you have experience in this, and I want to know what you think I should do.'

Could make for some fun...Wink


NoShitThereIWas  (D 25347)

Sep 12, 2003, 5:16 PM
Post #74 of 309 (5620 views)
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Yay Lefty!!!! Congratulations AggieDave!!!


NoShitThereIWas  (D 25347)

Sep 12, 2003, 5:23 PM
Post #75 of 309 (5616 views)
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In reply to:
2. Student landed about 2 miles away after indicating the radio was functional. (Kick your legs if you can hear me.. (Kick, kickLaugh, kick) Turn LEFT!)

Silly me. The student was turning to face left in the harness. Just had not bothered to put his/her hands in the toggles and pull the left toggle down to turn left...

Golf. Golf is good. Go and play golf...

t



OMG, have you heard of "natural selection"????LaughLaugh


tbrown  (D 6533)

Sep 12, 2003, 6:48 PM
Post #76 of 309 (5645 views)
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thats the port holes in the ribs..." "See.. they all have those holes"!!! ...I felt pretty stupid the rest of the day!!Crazyjason
Not as stupid as one guy back in the seventies. Crossports were a new development and some people would do it themselves with a hot knife. The way I heard it, this guy cut a lovely set of crossports in the top surface of his Unit canopy. Completely destroyed it. He wasn't even a student either...


skylord  (A 47693)

Sep 12, 2003, 7:05 PM
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One handle left... pull! Maybe a super-Lutz could even screw that situation up though, like maybe disconnect the leg and chest straps and fall out of the harness, because he thought they were deployment handles. Hrm... I wonder if the emtpy rig would have a Cypress fire? It'd be shame to get a good rig beat up for a Lutz.

Good Lord, I can't stop laughing at this! A "super-Lutz?"

I want to hear the lies straight from his mouth and give him a chance to fix them before I murder him. I'm so smart.
Good plan! I checked the California State Bar site, and found a Gordon Scott Lutz who was admitted to the bar in 1989 and practices in San Diego. This guy looked too young on the video.

Here comes another wave of laughter.....I better sign offLaugh super-Lutz undoing the strapsLaughLaughLaughLaugh

Please don't let me be a Lutz!


Bob


sburkart  (Student)

Sep 12, 2003, 7:46 PM
Post #78 of 309 (5625 views)
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Quote:
A "super-Lutz?"

I have to admit I semi-Lutzed a couple of AFF jumps but I didn't do enough wrong to make me famous.

"DON'T BE A LUTZ!" <-- Maybe we should do t-shirts?


The111  (D 29246)

Sep 12, 2003, 9:14 PM
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In reply to:
I have to admit I semi-Lutzed a couple of AFF jumps but I didn't do enough wrong to make me famous.

And you didn't whine loud enough and blame enough of your problems on non-self-entities.

If you make t-shirts, they have to include my favorite Lutzism. "There were powerlines EVERYWHERE!" A Super-Lutz logo could look like Superman logo but with a guy suspended from power lines in the center. :)


schattenjaeger

Sep 12, 2003, 9:43 PM
Post #80 of 309 (5591 views)
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OH MY GOD! I actually went and watched that Lutz video! Is it just me or did the JM grab his hand to put it on the PC, and he broke his hand free and went for the cutaway?


Unstable  (D 28930)

Sep 12, 2003, 11:39 PM
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      OMFG, I just watched the Scott Lutz Film Clip, I can't believe that:
a) He would be such a fucking retard, &
b) nobody caught any of this in time to save it from being broadcast! I feel bad for those poor instructors that had to deal with him!!! It would be cool to hear from at least on of them in this forum!!

Blue Skies,


skylord  (A 47693)

Sep 12, 2003, 11:47 PM
Post #82 of 309 (5566 views)
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In reply to:
OH MY GOD! I actually went and watched that Lutz video! Is it just me or did the JM grab his hand to put it on the PC, and he broke his hand free and went for the cutaway?

I thought I saw the pull sign, the JM grabbing his hand, putting it on the bottom of the container, and then a half nelson from the instructor who plunged head down to try and keep the wayward person from doing something he should not have done. I'm a one jump newbie, and really have no ground to speak. But I will say again that this video inspired me as to the AFF program and the skydiving community.

Good work from my perspective, and I don't want to be a Lutz. Or a super-Lutz!

Bob


schattenjaeger

Sep 13, 2003, 12:50 AM
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Yah, I REALLY feel sorry for those instructors. That one guy went chasing after him 'till God knows how low, I would've bought him a case of beer for every 1000 feet AWAY from the jump altitude we were, definately NOT sue him


feuergnom  (D License)

Sep 13, 2003, 10:42 AM
Post #84 of 309 (5492 views)
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In reply to:
OMFG, I just watched the Scott Lutz Film Clip, I can't believe that:
a) He would be such a fucking retard, &
b) nobody caught any of this in time to save it from being broadcast! I feel bad for those poor instructors that had to deal with him!!! It would be cool to hear from at least on of them in this forum!!

Blue Skies,


what just popped into my mind: who tf gave away the video to these newpeople? the vidiot? the he really was the (a) dipshit
or did the vidiot give it to lutz to show him his utter stupidity and the dumbass had nothing better to do and run to these tv guys?Frown
i wonder if these questions can be answered..


Mad47

Sep 13, 2003, 11:06 AM
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I heard this from my JM's, both are very nice people but they get really mad when they talk about that student. The guy was doing AFF 1 and he was a smartest ass in class. The exit went pretty ugly, the guy was tumbling and after struggling for some time JM's finally put him on belly. At pull time the guy goes head down and gets a death grip on the hand of JM trying to deploy him main. Finally, JM pulls the ripcord and tracks away. The student's main opens uneventfully and he begins to steer the canopy. As he later said on the ground' he remembered that in order to steer the canopy he need to pull the toggles. The guy finds a red 'toggle' (one handle release system) and pulls it slowly. As a result he releases one main riser and reserve begins to deploy while the second main riser is still attached to the harness. Fortunately, the guy 'steers' little bit more and main leaves. Nice reserve ride. The guy was told not to came back.


lawrocket  (Student)

Sep 13, 2003, 1:30 PM
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If it is true that the video was not safeguarded, it may be a result of the litigation process itself.

If the thing went to litigation, the video was produced in the discovery, and everybody or organization that was a party to the litigation had a copy of it. In essence, it is a public record, barring a protective order.


wiregoat  (A 45237)

Sep 13, 2003, 1:51 PM
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(This post was edited by wiregoat on Sep 13, 2003, 2:06 PM)


beej  (A License)

Sep 13, 2003, 9:21 PM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
I also saw a Video where the C.E.O. of Virgin Records did the exact same thing during his training before one of his Baloon Flights. At pull time he grabs and pulls the cut away and the JM deploys his chute and the RSL opens his reserve.

i read somewhere the great olaf zipser did similar on his first jump....Tongue


ltdiver  (D 20506)

Sep 13, 2003, 11:59 PM
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Quote:
"Then I got the reserve out [wasn't him that got it out] and everything was fine. Until i was about to land."

Actually, if this is the man that we 'lovingly' call "Sparky" at Perris, he -did- deploy his own reserve. Cameraflyer, Koji, followed him until the pull, which was at about 1,000' and then deployed his own chute....his main!

(Koji landed just fine, thankfully).

ltdiver


ltdiver  (D 20506)

Sep 14, 2003, 12:06 AM
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Quote:
I just watched this video. How can something like this be shown on TV? How did that numpty wanker sit there and say "I deployed the parachute..." He blatantly pulls the cutaway!!!!

Interestingly enough, the last time RealTV had this playing, "Sparky" actually -did- admit his guilt in pulling the cutaway handle and gave credit to his AFFI's for being there, with him, and doing their job. My jaw almost hit the ground when I saw this confession, for the time before when I'd seen RealTV's version, he denied his culpability.

Amazing...

ltdiver


pegasus  (A License)

Sep 14, 2003, 6:34 AM
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When I was still in AFF my S/O did a simaler thing to me. We had my canopy hanging b/c he was showing me how to inspect, when suddenly he starts the "oh my gosh" thing about the port holes. He knew better but was trying to get a rise out of me. Instead I got really bummed & almost started crying, cause this was my "new" used canopy & there was no way I could afford to replace it. In turn he felt like doo doo.Laugh


skylord  (A 47693)

Sep 14, 2003, 5:43 PM
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[Interestingly enough, the last time RealTV had this playing, "Sparky" actually -did- admit his guilt in pulling the cutaway handle and gave credit to his AFFI's for being there, with him, and doing their job. My jaw almost hit the ground when I saw this confession, for the time before when I'd seen RealTV's version, he denied his culpability.

Amazing...

I wonder if this was this after his lawsuit against the instructors/DZ got thrown out. Sparky Super Lutz, my hero. And I love the shirt idea.

Bob


The111  (D 29246)

Sep 14, 2003, 6:52 PM
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That's good to know... I'd like to see the confession. Where'd you get the name Sparky?


Push  (A 10205)

Sep 14, 2003, 7:14 PM
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I have the suspicion that this Lutz fellow did what he did on his jump on purpose, so he can sue the dropzone. The chain of events seems simply too incredible.


Dagny  (B 28462)

Sep 14, 2003, 8:16 PM
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Would someone seriously risk their life just to get rich off of a dropzone? For that matter, is it even possible to get rich off of a dz? Wink

Seems pretty risky...you know, if I survive this I'll be rich. Just a thought.


(This post was edited by Dagny on Sep 14, 2003, 8:17 PM)


ltdiver  (D 20506)

Sep 14, 2003, 11:20 PM
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In reply to:
That's good to know... I'd like to see the confession. Where'd you get the name Sparky?

If I can swing it, I'll see if I can upload it to the internet this week. I taped it from the TV on VHS, so the quality won't be that good, but the confession still rings in my ears.

He got the name "Sparky" when he did absolutely -nothing- to steer clear of the powerlines once his reserve canopy opened. He hit the lines/pole (sparks flying) and fell the rest of the way to the ground in a thud. The power lines are at the far edge of the very northern most part of the Perris DZ and one has to try very hard to hit them...which he did.

ltdiver


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 15, 2003, 4:02 AM
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In reply to:
Seems pretty risky...you know, if I survive this I'll be rich. Just a thought.

See here


FrenchyDiver  (D 30717)

Sep 15, 2003, 12:56 PM
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Happened years ago, in France.
We were watching a load of S/L first jumps at around 3,500 ft.
the first jumper out never went for the toggles and let the canopy ride him to wherever it was going. Comes out number 2 and does the same, and dutyfully follows #1. Both landed in the cemetery of the nearby village, sound and safe. When asked why they didn't go for the toggles, they said they didn't knew why. We never saw them again, but were know at the DZ to be "so dumb even the dead rejected them"Cool


sburkart  (Student)

Sep 15, 2003, 1:34 PM
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You know you might be a Lutz if your name has become a synonym for acts of stupidity.
(Is that redundant?)

Quote:
I have the suspicion that this Lutz fellow did what he did on his jump on purpose, so he can sue the dropzone. The chain of events seems simply too incredible.

If he thought THAT was gonna work after signing all the waivers and buying video he'd be as bad a lawyer as he was a skydiver.

On the other hand he did sue the power company...


BallisticCosmo  (Student)

Sep 15, 2003, 2:05 PM
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>The tandem that pulled on me at 9k since he misread the alti was a fun one too...

Hey folks... I AM a student (Gee... Is it ok for me to post here? Cool)

Anyway... I was doing my AFF II this past weekend and I took my 63yo father to the DZ to do a Tandem.

I was on the 2nd to last load and my Dad went up on the last. I was filling in my log book and debriefing after my jump when me and the JM saw the canopies descending from the last jump. We BS'd, smoked (Do ALL skydivers smoke?) and drank a beer as well as finished our debrief. At least five full minutes passed when my JM looked up and said "What the hell is that?"

It turns out that "that" was my dad. He got confused right after exit and when the JM tapped his shoulders to uncross his arms he reached back and pulled the rip cord. Altitude: 12,500 ft.

Not a big deal though. I mean, heck - he got IN the plane and jumped out of it. He did what he set out to do. Damn long canopy ride though...

Another thing... He paid $69 for a video. The video is approximately 8 seconds long! LoL


Premier wmw999  (D 6296)

Sep 15, 2003, 2:53 PM
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Quote:
Hey folks... I AM a student (Gee... Is it ok for me to post here?

I'm glad you did. I remember a classic "dumb" student from a long time ago; he never touched his toggles, and we talked about him for a long time afterward.

I happened to talk to him about 5 years later in a non-skydiving setting (he never came back after his first jump). He said he never saw them, and then explained why -- on his main (round), the toggles had simply been passed through the connector links, and therefore were up there. They kind of blended right in to his eyes, since they weren't used to what was a toggle and what wasn't.

Sensory overload is powerful; some stupid things are simply massive misinterpretation of the evidence under its power.

Wendy W.


MuffDiver  (B 5296)

Sep 15, 2003, 2:54 PM
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Stupidest student ever?

one word...


LUTZ


livendive  (D 21415)

Sep 15, 2003, 2:57 PM
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C-206 w/ cargo door. S/L student chickens out when door opens & rides plane down. Comes back next weekend "ready to jump" now. At 1000 feet, JM unhooks student's "Hooker" seatbelt & turns his radio on. While JM is spotting, student hooks seatbelt back around his legstrap. JM doesn't notice, student jumps and falls about 2 feet. Whap-whap-whap against the bottom of the plane, JM finds hookknife & cuts seatbelt. Normal deployment & landing (he actually made the landing area). When JM lands, student says "wow, the fall before the parachute opened lasted longer than I expected" and didn't remember flopping around under the plane at all. It was only after being told what happened that he recalled hooking the seatbelt back up because he was scared he'd fall out.

Blues,
Dave


Fast  (D 28237)

Sep 15, 2003, 3:02 PM
Post #104 of 309 (4801 views)
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In reply to:
>The tandem that pulled on me at 9k since he misread the alti was a fun one too...

Hey folks... I AM a student (Gee... Is it ok for me to post here? Cool)

Anyway... I was doing my AFF II this past weekend and I took my 63yo father to the DZ to do a Tandem.

I was on the 2nd to last load and my Dad went up on the last. I was filling in my log book and debriefing after my jump when me and the JM saw the canopies descending from the last jump. We BS'd, smoked (Do ALL skydivers smoke?) and drank a beer as well as finished our debrief. At least five full minutes passed when my JM looked up and said "What the hell is that?"

It turns out that "that" was my dad. He got confused right after exit and when the JM tapped his shoulders to uncross his arms he reached back and pulled the rip cord. Altitude: 12,500 ft.

Not a big deal though. I mean, heck - he got IN the plane and jumped out of it. He did what he set out to do. Damn long canopy ride though...

Another thing... He paid $69 for a video. The video is approximately 8 seconds long! LoL

He may not have had much freefall time, but if he got comfortable enough in the tandem harness I bet it was a pretty cool canopy ride (I really enjoy the view under canopy)


sburkart  (Student)

Sep 15, 2003, 4:10 PM
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Quote:
You know you might be a Lutz if your name has become a synonym for acts of stupidity.
(Is that redundant?)

Or even of you post to the wrong thread!
LOL!


freakyflygirl  (A License)

Sep 15, 2003, 6:36 PM
Post #106 of 309 (4743 views)
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I'm not sure about stupid but I've always thought this was funny. A friend of mine was going through AFP and on every jump was scared to get right next to the door for exit. His JM told him on his last jump that he needed to get closer to the door.

His response:

"It feels like I'm gonna fall out if I get any closer"Tongue

This guy never did finish his AFP and has not jumped for the last 3 years.....I guess he was to afraid of falling out of the plane...haha Wink

CoolCool


Rhonda66  (B 22770)

Sep 15, 2003, 8:03 PM
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The first time I saw that video of Lutz on TV, he also claimed no one told him what to do if there was no parachute over his head! Duh, I'm sure someone mentioned TOTAL MALFUNCTION sometime during the 8 hours of AFF training! The guy definitely gets my vote for the biggest idiot and biggest jerk awards.


darrenspooner  (C 102365)

Sep 16, 2003, 4:29 AM
Post #108 of 309 (4669 views)
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Let's not forget that some students are made to feel stupid by their instructors. I jumped at Byron Bay in Australia a while back and their safety officer was so offensive I felt like an idiot for having done nothing wrong


Designer  (D 5771)

Sep 16, 2003, 8:23 AM
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I was probably the worst student to ever get cleared for freefall at my DZ back in 1975.You name it,I did it "Wrong".Got there out of just pure(Not Giving Up)!!!!!!!!!!!!Instructor said start doing it right or take up bowling!That was enough!


Rhonda66  (B 22770)

Sep 16, 2003, 9:56 AM
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Don't feel so bad - One of my JM's gave me the old "skydiving isn't for everyone" speech. I kept dearching and going feet first so I had to do L1 3 times. To my credit, I did pull on my own on every jump, never lost altitude awareness, and never landed off the DZ. My primary JM kept telling me to stay with it and I got a new reserve JM - the new arrangement worked out well and I got through AFF. Of course, now I can't stand up again for the life of me - figures... Unsure


champu  (D 28302)

Sep 16, 2003, 3:27 PM
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this happened when I was actually a student, not to me though but I was on the load.

I was on static line progression getting set for my first clear and pull, I was going to be the second one out of the 182 so I was sitting behind the pilot, a great view for all this.

Jumper #1 goes to climb out, looses his footing and almost falls off the plane, but is still holding the strut with one hand. He muscles his other arm back up to the strut and pulled himself back up onto the step. Then he proceedes to maneuver his way to the edge of the strut and get into a hanging position, then looks back at the instructor to get the go signal like nothing had happened.

At this point I forget I'm about to do my first freefall and just start laughing hysterically. After getting the signal and letting go of the strut, the student dearched and dumped on his back. one of his line sets wrapped around his shoe and his parachute deployed in a slight turn with him hanging upside down underneath it. He kicked out of his shoe and got flipped right side up, and had an otherwise uneventful canopy ride.

After his exit the jumpmaster signaled to the pilot to circle around so she could watch and make sure he get his foot unstuck.

At this point I suddenly remember I'm doing my first freefall and start worrying, asking everyone frantically if the guy was okay. I was assured he was and I was able to make my first freefall just fine.


PilotMike  (D 24537)

Sep 16, 2003, 5:34 PM
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Regarding the Lutz videos. I don't know if the original incorrect version was on RealTV or Maximum Exposure. I do know that Fox aired the same footage on "Stupid Behavior Caught on Tape" sometime this past summer. That version explained that he pulled the cutaway among other mistakes and was in general a dumbass (aka "Lutz").


Topcat  (D 23405)

Sep 16, 2003, 5:36 PM
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Maybe not stupid but definitely 'student from hell':

Older gent, spent extra time with him in Ground School going over AFF1 dive.

The dive itself was bad but nothing I have not seen before in my huge, grand total of 4 months as an AFF instructor. I'm on main side, so I track away as soon as I see the pilot chute clear the BOC pouch.

I open, look around for the student, can't see him for a bit then I see him FALL BELOW ME.

He has a partially inflated main; looks like maybe a stuck slider. I turn to get closer and by that time, I see main take off/reserve open.

Then, to my horror, I realize he has line twists and is flying backwards! He doesn't do anything about the twists; I try to get his attention but he serenely flies backwards towards a gully where the train tracks are.

Even though he opened below me I am quickly getting lower than him; he is flying calmly and stately towards a really crappy section of land (hills trees and teeny tiny fields with big bales of hay in them). I decide to turn and land in a field I know I can land in.

For 3 minutes I am cursing up a storm, fearful I just witnessed my first skydiving death. A bunch of friendly locals (bless 'em) help me locate my student: he was fine - scraped nose was it.

Extra twist to the tale - his cutaway handle wasn't pulled. Said he couldn't find it; just pulled his reserve. There is something to be said for SOS systems.

-Sandy (Billy told me there would be students like this)


pilotdave  (D License)

Sep 16, 2003, 5:49 PM
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Just saw one on "what were you thinking" on TLC. This time the announcer and the student fully admitted it was pure stupidity. Guy has a decent AFF 1. Clearly nervous and everything but he does fine and deploys himself. At 300 feet, under a nice canopy, ready to land, he cuts away. Reserve is snivelling as he hits the ground. Why'd he do it? He has no clue. He was just nervous.

I dont think he wins the stupidest student award but thats a pretty good one.

He was barely injured, btw. Too bad he didnt go buy a lottery ticket afterwards.

Dave


tattoojeff  (A License)

Sep 16, 2003, 8:32 PM
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Let's not forget that some students are made to feel stupid by their instructors. I jumped at Byron Bay in Australia a while back and their safety officer was so offensive I felt like an idiot for having done nothing wrong
__________________________________
thats is sadly true. i had one like that when i was a student. and to all students and newbies reading this thread: its all in good fun. theres not a skydiver here who didnt screw up, or say stupid things. it just so much fun to look back and laugh about it now. in no way does anyone wish to make students feel silly.
we were all students.


andy2

Sep 17, 2003, 6:56 AM
Post #116 of 309 (4332 views)
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Quote:
is it even possible to get rich off of a dz?

I hear the planes some of them dropzones own cost a few dollars.


Nutz  (D License)

Sep 17, 2003, 7:00 AM
Post #117 of 309 (4329 views)
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In reply to:
Quote:
is it even possible to get rich off of a dz?

I hear the planes some of them dropzones own cost a few dollars.

Do you know how to make a small fortune in skydiving?







Start with a big one.


Unstable  (D 28930)

Sep 17, 2003, 7:51 AM
Post #118 of 309 (4296 views)
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Re: [PilotMike] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Regarding the Lutz videos. I don't know if the original incorrect version was on RealTV or Maximum Exposure. I do know that Fox aired the same footage on "Stupid Behavior Caught on Tape" sometime this past summer. That version explained that he pulled the cutaway among other mistakes and was in general a dumbass (aka "Lutz").

At least somene at the Fox network has some degree of common sense. Does anybody know where I can Download the Fox version of Mr. Lutz?


CloudOnMyTongue  (B 5475)

Sep 17, 2003, 9:57 AM
Post #119 of 309 (4261 views)
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In reply to:
In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.


I downloaded it, but I can't watch it. What type of player do I need?


Casch

Sep 17, 2003, 10:52 AM
Post #120 of 309 (4219 views)
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Re: [CloudOnMyTongue] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

That POS real player. I hate the whole REAL company....crappy software if you ask me. The only thing good about em is they seem to be able to cram pretty long movies into small file sizes.


JeffD  (Student)

Sep 17, 2003, 11:03 AM
Post #121 of 309 (4207 views)
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Re: [pilotdave] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Was this the african american british guy. that chopped over trees? I was told that he was heading toward some powerlines and chopped because he didn't know what else to do.


trigger  (D 101390)

Sep 17, 2003, 11:26 AM
Post #122 of 309 (4189 views)
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No!I've just watched the movie.It's some dumb f!*k with total brain lock that bullshits to the TV people in the name of sensationalist entertainment.
African/American/British.No,just exactly what planet is he on....


storm1977

Sep 17, 2003, 12:19 PM
Post #123 of 309 (4155 views)
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What the fuck is an AFRICAN AMERICAN BRITISH GUY?????

That is the funniest thing I have heard all daySlyLaughLaughLaughLaughLaugh



freakydiver  (D 26421)

Sep 17, 2003, 12:22 PM
Post #124 of 309 (4155 views)
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Interesting - I've been using and digitizing in Real format for years and years now and find it to be just as reliable given a stable machine as anything else out there. imho of course...


Casch

Sep 17, 2003, 1:42 PM
Post #125 of 309 (4124 views)
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Your right, I've never had any technical problems with it, it is a stable player. I just don't like the player itself...it just annoys me. I would much rather use Winamp or WMP to play movies.


freakydiver  (D 26421)

Sep 17, 2003, 1:43 PM
Post #126 of 309 (4182 views)
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I dig what yer sayin... nice sig btw lol...


Skream  (Student)

Sep 17, 2003, 2:05 PM
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Quote:
What the fuck is an AFRICAN AMERICAN BRITISH GUY?????

This is the fantastic. I love it.

It doesn't matter if you use 'Black' or 'African American', it's still a label. As this example so clearly shows.

Thanks for the laugh, that was fantastic. Stupid political correctedness. I will certainly be telling this one to all my BLACK friends. SmileSmileSmile


(This post was edited by Skream on Sep 17, 2003, 2:06 PM)


pilotdave  (D License)

Sep 17, 2003, 7:47 PM
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Where are the british people? What is the "politically correct" term for black over there? Do you guys do political correctness or is that more of an american thing?

Dave


skysquiffy

Sep 17, 2003, 7:55 PM
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During recent visits home I would say it's slightly more prevalent, but in contrast to the U.S., it's negligible. Or maybe a better term would be reasonable. Wink


MattyBoy  (A 412)

Sep 17, 2003, 8:03 PM
Post #130 of 309 (4101 views)
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Re: [pilotdave] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I find the term 'black' works fine...my friends don't mind that any more than I mind being called white...I will be calling them african american british guys from now on though!!


mr2mk1g  (C 103449)

Sep 18, 2003, 1:48 AM
Post #131 of 309 (4069 views)
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Re: [pilotdave] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

no one cares. Racism isnt nearly as prevailant over here - it stems from the influx of asian people during the 50's after the emipre was sold off as opposed to being built into our society for generations like it was in america. Not saying it doesnt happen (someone hand me some flame proofing please) and in general there is a significant social divide - but mostly were just too lazy.

Apathy can go a long way Wink


TrickyDicky  (C 103196)

Sep 18, 2003, 2:15 AM
Post #132 of 309 (4064 views)
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Racism Happens. Im from Birmingham!


mr2mk1g  (C 103449)

Sep 18, 2003, 2:24 AM
Post #133 of 309 (4063 views)
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accepted


ScottishJohn  (C 102343)

Sep 18, 2003, 4:25 AM
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We usually call them Black.


Casch

Sep 18, 2003, 12:57 PM
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I just call a black person black, white, white. I don't see the big deal. I'm not sure why people pushed to call blacks "African Americans". I don't complain when people call me white instead of "German American". We're all americans over here.


pamrussell  (D 907)

Sep 19, 2003, 7:24 AM
Post #136 of 309 (3878 views)
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How about when a US TV station interviewed Nelson Mandela, and referred to him as "African American"!

Politically correct? Maybe. Geographically, not so much.


mr2mk1g  (C 103449)

Sep 19, 2003, 7:35 AM
Post #137 of 309 (3866 views)
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In reply to:
How about when a US TV station interviewed Nelson Mandela, and referred to him as "African American"!

Politically correct? Maybe. Geographically, not so much.

politically dumb!


nightjumps  (D 23385)

Sep 19, 2003, 7:39 AM
Post #138 of 309 (3857 views)
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Quote:
...the student dearched and dumped on his back. one of his line sets wrapped around his shoe and his parachute deployed in a slight turn with him hanging upside down underneath it. He kicked out of his shoe and got flipped right side up, and had an otherwise uneventful canopy ride.

Man. You could have been on my plane when I was JM'ing a guy that did the SAME exact thing. 'Cept his foot got caught in the riser and he was hanging upside down. Canopy was perfect, slider down. I told the pilot the same thing, "go around." I can remember saying out loud, "Please don't cut that away, please don't cut that away." Thinking... if he cuts that away... what a nasty situation that's gonna make.

Fortunately, he was a golden gloves type, kept his wits, did a hanging situp and got his foot out of the riser. whew.

During the debrief, he said, "Well, I saw that it was square and stable so I thought I'd just get my foot out." No hand tremors or nothing. To him, it was just part of the package. Calm, cool and situationally aware. I don't think it qualifies as "most stupidest student" as much as one of the "Most heads up" student I've had.


CrazyIvan  (A 43359)

Sep 19, 2003, 8:51 AM
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In reply to:
I just call a black person black, white, white. I don't see the big deal. I'm not sure why people pushed to call blacks "African Americans". I don't complain when people call me white instead of "German American". We're all americans over here.

Amen


mr2mk1g  (C 103449)

Sep 19, 2003, 9:09 AM
Post #140 of 309 (3811 views)
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just remembered anothe stupid student story. Was doing a hop and pop out of an islander. They had several static line students on the load and they were going out first (cos of their static lines).

I watched the first guy exit. He goes out with a great body pos, canopy opens, no twists. His canopy is fine and I watch it fly as the plane banks and goes round for another pass. Then I see him cut away and go straight to the reserve (rsl).

On the ground I talk to him about it to see what when wrong. Apparently he couldnt look up enough to see the canopy so cut away as he couldnt varify if it was big and square. He thought it was fine, it was flying nice and straight and level and his control checks worked fine... but he couldnt see his canopy so he thought better safe than sorry and cut away.

I didnt say anything to him... figured his instructor would re-educate him when he got his de-brief, but I simply couldnt follow the logic of cutting away a canopy that appeared to be fine for one which may well have a problem with it.


riggerrob  (D 14840)

Sep 19, 2003, 9:43 AM
Post #141 of 309 (3802 views)
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Re: [CrazyIvan] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

African Americans

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Reminds me of the time Brenda Reid listed herself as "an african-american female" on some government paperwork.
Perfectly accurate and legal, but it does not match the stereotype, seeing as how Brenda is a white South African of British descent.
Not a black gene in her entire body!
Hee! Hee!

It never ceases to amaze me how terms and phrases can take on lives of their own.
I stick my foot in my mouth every day by applying the original or logical definition to terms that have morphed.


CrazyIvan  (A 43359)

Sep 19, 2003, 10:19 AM
Post #142 of 309 (3792 views)
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To me...the whole 'Politically Correct' thing is just stupid.


JeffD  (Student)

Sep 19, 2003, 10:25 AM
Post #143 of 309 (3790 views)
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Re: [CrazyIvan] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I did it without even thinking about it. Crazy Where ever I have been (I've lived in 5 states and 2 countries) I have been yelled at for calling someone black. I really dont care who/what someone is, but I said it because I thought it would be easier to identify who it was.


storm1977

Sep 20, 2003, 11:07 AM
Post #144 of 309 (3700 views)
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Re: [JeffD] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Someone yelled at you for calling them black????

Did you say.."Hey blacky", or did you just refer to them as black?

That sounds pretty stupid. I am white, Barry bonds is black. That is just the way it is. Black is not a derogitory term...it is an adjective.

Chris


airgord  (D 15258)

Sep 20, 2003, 4:09 PM
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Re: [storm1977] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Awesome topic maintenance going on here.


bobsled92  (B 25314)

Sep 20, 2003, 7:14 PM
Post #146 of 309 (3655 views)
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Re: [riggerrob] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

That's perfect!
All folks I have met from SOUTH-Africa are White.
Caucasian doesn't mean white either. It's derived from a Mountain region in Russia.
Ethnic means Eastern EuropeanWink
Not all *people are from AFRICA too.
I have relations from the "way back machine"/Pirate & Royal Navy Days that are from Jamaica for generations and can be concidered Scottish & *"Noir".
-Grant


themitchyone  (A 45471)

Sep 20, 2003, 8:05 PM
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In reply to:
"What is the first thing you do after you deploy and do a control check" She casually responded, "You look for your shadow" She was following her shadow the whole time.
Geez, don't feel bad. The finger thing wasn't so bad, but this shadow thing is absolutely insane. You go over the landing procedure so many times before you jump. I can't imagine the stupidity involved in that one. Her shadow?? Crazy


themitchyone  (A 45471)

Sep 20, 2003, 8:27 PM
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Re: [CloudOnMyTongue] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Thanks for the link to the video. I've only jumped a few times, but it's clear to me that he pulled his cutaway instead of his pilot chute, he never even tried to arch to get stable, and the narrator said that landing in the power lines is unlucky. UNLUCKY?!


metalslug  (B 2528)

Sep 21, 2003, 5:33 AM
Post #149 of 309 (3591 views)
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In reply to:
That's perfect!
All folks I have met from SOUTH-Africa are White.
Caucasian doesn't mean white either. It's derived from a Mountain region in Russia.
Ethnic means Eastern European
Not all *people are from AFRICA too.
I have relations from the "way back machine"/Pirate & Royal Navy Days that are from Jamaica for generations and can be concidered Scottish & *"Noir".
-Grant

Yeah, we are waay off topic here.. but I would like to add that very few South Africans are even familiar with the word caucasian.
Using the word will get you responses like.. "Huh? you dont look asian at all!"
or "Erm.. uh.. yeah.. whatever!" as though you had just described some funky ethnic half-breed.
'White' and 'Black', when it needs to be specified, are common and acceptable terms in South Africa.


cesslon  (Student)

Sep 21, 2003, 5:58 AM
Post #150 of 309 (3583 views)
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Re: [metalslug] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Lutz hahaahah
this is only my second post here, and i havnt sky dived yet but will over the next few weeks
I know i shouldnt really give an oppinion as i dont have any experience but that lutz guy is a funny idiot and i can clearly see the chord he pulls isnt the 1 that released the parachute
and like some1 said surely any1 without any experience would try and steer out of the way of powerlines Angelic


Fab  (C License)

Sep 21, 2003, 12:57 PM
Post #151 of 309 (4743 views)
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Re: [cesslon] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

"and like some1 said surely any1 without any experience would try and steer out of the way of powerlines"

appearantly not true...some students/people just react differently to fear by doing absolutely nothing and just freeze. He clearly panicked and wasn't thinking rational anymore.

I have a question.

Do AFF jm's ever pull the reserve for a student. For instance mr. Lutz. JM sees he pulls his cutaway. Should he pull his reserve too or is that always the responsibily of the student. I say its the responsibilty of the student and the JM should leave it alone.

What should the Jm have done if he saw the Lutz-guy pulling his cutaway. I don't think JM saw him do that but what if he did...Opening his main chute wouldn;t make sense anymore..

pro...student can deploy reserve in a head high position which is better then belly to earth.

con...student may not pull at all and can only be saved if his cypres works..


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 21, 2003, 2:01 PM
Post #152 of 309 (4723 views)
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Re: [Fab] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
"
pro...student can deploy reserve in a head high position which is better then belly to earth

Maybe im misunderstanding but how would it be better to pull your reserve "head High" rather than belly to earth??


themitchyone  (A 45471)

Sep 21, 2003, 2:05 PM
Post #153 of 309 (4721 views)
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Re: [riggerrob] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Reminds me of the time Brenda Reid listed herself as "an african-american female" on some government paperwork.
Perfectly accurate and legal, but it does not match the stereotype, seeing as how Brenda is a white South African of British descent.
Not a black gene in her entire body!

It seems that is the very point, though. She was correct. African-American technically would imply that someone came from Africa, not necessarily that they are black. A black person might have come from another part of the world, so naming all black Americans AA wasn't right to begin with, neither is Native American for American Indians because anyone born in the US is a Native American.


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 21, 2003, 2:07 PM
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In reply to:

It seems that is the very point, though. She was correct. African-American technically would imply that someone came from Africa, not necessarily that they are black. A black person might have come from another part of the world, so naming all black Americans AA wasn't right to begin with, neither is Native American for American Indians because anyone born in the US is a Native American.

Some politically correct terms arent THAT correct are they?!


Fab  (C License)

Sep 21, 2003, 3:01 PM
Post #155 of 309 (4707 views)
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Re: [phonics1981] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

[reply

Maybe im misunderstanding but how would it be better to pull your reserve "head High" rather than belly to earth??
euh..do'nt take my word for it..I'm a newbie. It was my understanding that if you're in a belly to earth a pilot chute/spring could bounce back and stay in your burble. It seems to me when this happens with a reserve at a low altitude you will not be too happy...

I was taught as aff-student to put your feet up to your ass before you cut-away and pull reserve. Therefor you go from horizontal to a little vertical right? PIlotchute gets cleaner stream of air thus better deployment?

Correct me if I"m wrong please...


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 21, 2003, 3:05 PM
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In reply to:
euh..do'nt take my word for it..I'm a newbie. It was my understanding that if you're in a belly to earth a pilot chute/spring could bounce back and stay in your burble. It seems to me when this happens with a reserve at a low altitude you will not be too happy...

I was taught as aff-student to put your feet up to your ass before you cut-away and pull reserve. Therefor you go from horizontal to a little vertical right? PIlotchute gets cleaner stream of air thus better deployment?

Correct me if I"m wrong please...

Yeah I see your point. I was picturing the skydiver going stand up while deploying. But me personally would hope to be flat on deployment of anything. I ALWAYS twist my body slightly on opening to get some air into the potential burble.


bch7773  (C License)

Sep 21, 2003, 7:08 PM
Post #157 of 309 (4669 views)
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Re: [Fab] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:

Do AFF jm's ever pull the reserve for a student. For instance mr. Lutz. JM sees he pulls his cutaway. Should he pull his reserve too or is that always the responsibily of the student. I say its the responsibilty of the student and the JM should leave it alone.

What should the Jm have done if he saw
the Lutz-guy pulling his cutaway. I don't think JM saw him do that but what if he did...Opening his main chute wouldn;t make sense anymore..


I was not trained on AFF, but I do know that there is a reserve side JM. Its his job to pull the reserve if something is wrong is the main. I believe that the reason he isn't chasing after this student is because his job is over once he sees the main start to deploy, which it did.

Also, the main side JM did the correct thing by pulling the handle, even if he saw the student pull the cutaway, so that the students RSL should have pulled the reserve. I think perhaps the students rig didn't have an RSL, or it didn't work.


Fab  (C License)

Sep 21, 2003, 10:20 PM
Post #158 of 309 (4650 views)
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I think the reason that reserve jm not chased the student that it's dangerous for both JM to track to the student..Not that the task of the reserve(?)/second JM is over.

SO whats your saying if main didn't deploy after being pulled and stays in rig...second jm pulls the reserve? I Don't think so...What about the cutaway pillow then..???


darkwing  (D 4164)

Sep 22, 2003, 7:05 AM
Post #159 of 309 (4599 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

It would be good to sanitize some of these stories and share them with students. Each of the stories is in some sense an example of a training error, and should be a heads up to instructors.


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 22, 2003, 8:05 AM
Post #160 of 309 (4574 views)
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In reply to:
It would be good to sanitize some of these stories and share them with students. Each of the stories is in some sense an example of a training error, and should be a heads up to instructors.

I doubt very much that that nugget Lutz was trained (in error) to pull his cutaway rather than his main and to wrestle to JM who was trying to guide his hand to the ripcord. Thats pure stupidity.


schattenjaeger

Sep 22, 2003, 1:35 PM
Post #161 of 309 (4503 views)
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I wonder if the reserve JM even knew what the devil was going on. For all he knows Lutz pulled his parachute, and all of a sudden he gets yanked outta his arms and the main side JM seems quite perturbed for some reason. And like someone else said, if they both went after him, they risked a collision(2 people going reallllly fast aiming for the same target, remember?)and the main JM, knowing what was happening, had the head start.


JDBoston  (D 26450)

Sep 22, 2003, 7:43 PM
Post #162 of 309 (4450 views)
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Re: [phonics1981] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

IMHO, it's usually a better idea to get the pilot chute OUT of your burble than it is to do something that's almost guaranteed to give you line twists on a non-student wing-loading.

I would try not to make a habit of that twisting thing (without knowing the exact movement you're describing, of course) - you generally want to be as symmetrical as possible right after you deploy.

Thoughts from others?

Joe


phonics1981  (A License)

Sep 22, 2003, 11:06 PM
Post #163 of 309 (4431 views)
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In reply to:
IMHO, it's usually a better idea to get the pilot chute OUT of your burble than it is to do something that's almost guaranteed to give you line twists on a non-student wing-loading.

I would try not to make a habit of that twisting thing (without knowing the exact movement you're describing, of course) - you generally want to be as symmetrical as possible right after you deploy.

Thoughts from others?

Joe

Sorry, I worded it wrong (i'm doing that alot lately!). When I say 'Twist' I mean looking over my shoulder, which i woude say twists my body a bit?


McG  (D 714)

Sep 23, 2003, 2:07 AM
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In early 90s i had a student that had some really weird ideas...

We just had got rid of the old Para-Commanders and other round canopies, so we were really proud of our new square Mantas and Raiders. -Then that dumb student suggested that the sharp corners of the canopies could be more round... He claimed they might be easier to handle then!

Later on when he tried the stall and got freaked out, he came with another even more stupid idea: There should be some covers on the tunnels, like air-locks which prevent the air running out of the canopy, so it wouldnt stall that easy!

The best is yet to come: The same jackass suggested that landing could be more fun if jumpers had inline skates and they landed on the runway!

Oh my, oh my... You can guess we experienced jumpers laughed our asses off...SlySlySly

****


cesslon  (Student)

Sep 23, 2003, 4:06 AM
Post #165 of 309 (4392 views)
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im very new to this skydiving
long time fan bout to become a jumper im booked in for october 11th to start my aff course , anyway

Quote:
suggested that landing could be more fun if jumpers had inline skates and they landed on the runway!

whats wrong with his idea ?
apart from you would probably have to be very experienced and could run into a plane lol ?


TrickyDicky  (C 103196)

Sep 23, 2003, 4:42 AM
Post #166 of 309 (4379 views)
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Re: [McG] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I dont think its that silly. A few weeks abo we were discussing wingsuits and one guy reconed within 5 years someone will land a wingsuit. We discussed (not really seriously) about building a creeper into the front of the suit. Though how you'd break is another matter.


(This post was edited by TrickyDicky on Sep 23, 2003, 4:42 AM)


bshl  (B 28944)

Sep 30, 2003, 10:25 PM
Post #167 of 309 (4287 views)
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Re: [bodypilot90] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

This is, most assuredly, a set of golf clubs. What a hoot!


bodypilot90  (D 24249)

Oct 1, 2003, 12:07 PM
Post #168 of 309 (4210 views)
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his story got better with each show he was on. He also came back wanted to try again the next day. What would you do if it was your dz?


WrongWay  (D 27371)

Oct 1, 2003, 12:47 PM
Post #169 of 309 (4192 views)
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Re: [McG] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I could probably qualify for this award, that is, if I liked golf.

Few years ago, back in my student days, I went through my ground school after doing my 4 tandems. During this time, we did practice stuff on the ground with throwout pc's, naturally. When I did my tandems, I had a ripcord. Big difference between the two. Well, we got in the air, the dive couldn't have gone better (really it was great, i have video) until pull time. I grab my pilot chute, and for some stupid reason, think "ripcord". That's right kids, I held onto my pilot chute. No shit, there I was, thought I was gonna die, with nothing above my head, thinking I had a total mal. I let go of the "ripcord" to go for my cutaway and POOF, canopy. Cool Needless to say, I was the ass of more than a few jokes on the ground, and I always tell new students now "Trust me, you could have done dumber things." I still watch the video sometimes just to have a good laugh. It's in slow-mo at that point, hahaha!!!!


phonics1981  (A License)

Oct 1, 2003, 2:18 PM
Post #170 of 309 (4151 views)
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In reply to:
I could probably qualify for this award, that is, if I liked golf.

Few years ago, back in my student days, I went through my ground school after doing my 4 tandems. During this time, we did practice stuff on the ground with throwout pc's, naturally. When I did my tandems, I had a ripcord. Big difference between the two. Well, we got in the air, the dive couldn't have gone better (really it was great, i have video) until pull time. I grab my pilot chute, and for some stupid reason, think "ripcord". That's right kids, I held onto my pilot chute. No shit, there I was, thought I was gonna die, with nothing above my head, thinking I had a total mal. I let go of the "ripcord" to go for my cutaway and POOF, canopy. Cool Needless to say, I was the ass of more than a few jokes on the ground, and I always tell new students now "Trust me, you could have done dumber things." I still watch the video sometimes just to have a good laugh. It's in slow-mo at that point, hahaha!!!!

Post it!!!


WrongWay  (D 27371)

Oct 2, 2003, 4:37 AM
Post #171 of 309 (4068 views)
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I'm at work now, but I'll post the video here within a few days. It's funny as hell, worth watching!!! Cool


Bolas  (D License)

Oct 2, 2003, 12:23 PM
Post #172 of 309 (3984 views)
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I did that too!!! Tongue My first jump was ripcord (which of course I let go of) and all others were PC. On jump 5? I deployed my Pilot chute and didn't let go. When I had nothing above me I did the look over the shoulder thing. Was getting ready to pull the silver when I realized I had something in my right hand. I let go and had a normal opening.
On the ground my AFF instructor made me put out my hand and she smacked it and said "Don't ever do that again, you scared the shit out of me."

If it's true what they say that the worst students make the best instructors, I'll be the God of instructors once I get my ratings.


jlmiracle  (D License)

Oct 2, 2003, 12:54 PM
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Earlier this year we had an AFF Class of about 3 students. Jumped one, even though his average fall rate was 128 he did well in freefall and under canopy.

The next 2 go, one lands fine the other never unstows his brakes until about 1000 ft even though he can hear the radio and is now waaaaaay downwind at this point and holding. He lands off the dropzone in a tree ONLY because he said he COULDN'T make it to the power lines. WTF. I didn't teach the class so I talked to the other 2 students to make sure that obstacles were covered and they knew not to land in the power lines or trees so the other guy must have been asleep.

Judy


lawrocket  (Student)

Oct 11, 2003, 12:19 PM
Post #174 of 309 (3851 views)
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Re: [phonics1981] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I just saw the lutz video for the first time. Oh, sweet Jesus!!!


dmitch31  (Student)

Dec 19, 2003, 4:48 PM
Post #175 of 309 (3627 views)
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Quote:
Maybe a super-Lutz could even screw that situation up though, like maybe disconnect the leg and chest straps and fall out of the harness, because he thought they were deployment handles.

Oh my gosh, you are slayin' me man! Definitely ROFL!!! What I wanna know is, How did this guy get through law school. I mean REALLY???!?


FrogNog  (C 34484)

Dec 19, 2003, 10:31 PM
Post #176 of 309 (4583 views)
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In reply to:
Quote:
Maybe a super-Lutz could even screw that situation up though, like maybe disconnect the leg and chest straps and fall out of the harness, because he thought they were deployment handles.

Oh my gosh, you are slayin' me man! Definitely ROFL!!! What I wanna know is, How did this guy get through law school. I mean REALLY???!?

I can think of two things that might explain it: 1. law school doesn't require you to think quite as fast as skydiving and 2. in law school and skydiving, you do better if you really want to.


dropoutdave  (C 105964)

Dec 20, 2003, 3:45 AM
Post #177 of 309 (4566 views)
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Hahahah I did exactly the same thing when I converted to throw out. I bet the look on my face was an absolute classic when I realised I still had my PC in my hand. I let go of the thing like it was on fire!


Liemberg  (Student)

Dec 20, 2003, 4:34 AM
Post #178 of 309 (4556 views)
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Quote:
im hosting this years dumbest student awards.
I take it that candidates who are eligible MUST have actually jumped, right? You don't get awarded for stupid questions in the classroom or stupid moves in the suspended harness?

Whenever an 'award winning stupid student' makes it out of the door of a perfectly good airplane there is at least one instructor nearby who thinks 'Oh - He / she will be fine...'

Not pointing fingers here, just food for thought, for
on a few occasions I was that instructor Blush

(Granted tough, life wood be so much easier when they arrived with a stamp on their forehead: "stupid is as stupid does" Smile )


Casquito  (C License)

Dec 20, 2003, 1:01 PM
Post #179 of 309 (4509 views)
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Re: [bch7773] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I did my AFF out at Perris and did note some things after watching that hilarious ass video.
1. They hang you in mock up harnesses and make you do cutaways ad nauseum before the jump. How the hell do you reach for the cutaway when they pound into your head that you're getting rid of your canopy? As a corollary, they teach the next step is to pull the silver one immediately as part of the whole process- looks like he waited quite some time to pull the reserve.
2. All student rigs have RSL's on them and they check them as part of the gear check before jumping. What happened there?
3. All student rigs have Cypres' on them. I'm suprised Lutz didn't take off the rig and disassemble the Cypres while he was at it.
4. It's damn hard to hit the powerlines out there in the north field. He must have been aiming for them on purpose. While he was at it, he should have aimed for some other hazards out there like the 215 freeway with the big trucks speeding by. On second thought, he probably couldn't have reached it so he settled for the powerlines instead after considering the swoop pond, hangar, and water canal as possible landing sites.
People do all kinds of stupid things up there and you can attribute alot of it to nervousness and the like. In his case, yes he was incredibly stupid, and gets the Darwin award, but if it weren't for his dumb comments, we'd all just get a good laugh out of it. To lie and cover his stupidity by blaming it on the JMs and the sport in general is both cowardly and supremely stupid. Did he not realize that by making the comments he did, he'd turned a stupid and dangerous mistake that, in the end, would have been a good story to tell over a beer into an incident which will effectively ostracize him from the skydiving community? He sounds like he came back asking for more, so maybe he really did want to learn. Better change his name and move away if he does. And get a facelift too while he's at it. His dumbass mug is going to be infamous at DZ's the world over.


dkf1979  (Student)

Dec 21, 2003, 12:52 AM
Post #180 of 309 (4463 views)
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In reply to:
this happened when I was actually a student, not to me though but I was on the load.

I was on static line progression getting set for my first clear and pull, I was going to be the second one out of the 182 so I was sitting behind the pilot, a great view for all this.

Jumper #1 goes to climb out, looses his footing and almost falls off the plane, but is still holding the strut with one hand. He muscles his other arm back up to the strut and pulled himself back up onto the step. Then he proceedes to maneuver his way to the edge of the strut and get into a hanging position, then looks back at the instructor to get the go signal like nothing had happened.

At this point I forget I'm about to do my first freefall and just start laughing hysterically. After getting the signal and letting go of the strut, the student dearched and dumped on his back. one of his line sets wrapped around his shoe and his parachute deployed in a slight turn with him hanging upside down underneath it. He kicked out of his shoe and got flipped right side up, and had an otherwise uneventful canopy ride.

After his exit the jumpmaster signaled to the pilot to circle around so she could watch and make sure he get his foot unstuck.

At this point I suddenly remember I'm doing my first freefall and start worrying, asking everyone frantically if the guy was okay. I was assured he was and I was able to make my first freefall just fine.

that's hilarious. also kinda what i was thinking was gonna happen to me on my first s/l jump. Crazy


Conundrum

Dec 21, 2003, 2:04 AM
Post #181 of 309 (4477 views)
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omg this thread has some of the funniest shit I have ever read. Laugh


Casquito  (C License)

Dec 21, 2003, 10:10 PM
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I was out at Perris today and talked to the intructors involved in Sparky's wild ride. Apparently it was 10 years ago and they were not cypres equipped but had another aad. There was a rsl but apparently did not deploy the reserve.
What a tool.
That said I did my first cutaway today, but after my main deployed... line over.


DanglesOZQld  (F 623)

Dec 21, 2003, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Student that was complaining about the slider being down and how they were trying to pump the brakes and make it go back up? Same student about chopped since the slider was making weird noises.

I had a student like that once also. He landed ok and then said something like "Jeez I am glad that the canopy landed ok , the slider would not go UP!" We sat down and I had a rather long debrief including why the slider is there and what its purpose is , this being in addition to the training already given him on the same thing before his jump. I met the same guy out of the blue about six months later and you guessed it..........complained of having the same trouble at another dz when he decided to go on another jump just for the hell of it. I then explained to him for the THIRD TIME........ "Some people really should take up lawn bowls......" -A quote from the 62 yr old VERY experienced CI I sometimes work with!!!!!! BSBD -Mark.


Designer  (D 5771)

Dec 22, 2003, 7:45 AM
Post #184 of 309 (4316 views)
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Here is dead now!But,check this out!The dump ass repeatedly landed in every swamp at our DZ!Finally,we asked him to please go somewhere else to skydive!(this guy was really a menace!)


algboy  (A 4)

Dec 26, 2003, 1:02 PM
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In reply to:
Quote:
im hosting this years dumbest student awards.
I take it that candidates who are eligible MUST have actually jumped, right? You don't get awarded for stupid questions in the classroom or stupid moves in the suspended harness?

Whenever an 'award winning stupid student' makes it out of the door of a perfectly good airplane there is at least one instructor nearby who thinks 'Oh - He / she will be fine...'

Not pointing fingers here, just food for thought, for
on a few occasions I was that instructor Blush

(Granted tough, life wood be so much easier when they arrived with a stamp on their forehead: "stupid is as stupid does" Smile )

After re-reading this entire thread, I have settled on three major thoughts:

1) maybe the best way to "thin the herd" would be to pass a law requiring all adults to do an AFF I.

2) it seems that many of the problems with these students is that the instructor ASS-U-ME-D that the student knew what all the handles are there for, what a slider looks--and sounds--like, what a good canopy should look like, what actions are required when telling a student to "turn right" under canopy, etc.

3) sometimes all the instruction and hand-holding in the world cannot eliminate the this-sport-is-not-for-you factor.

BTW, they just had Mr. Lutz's infamous jump on the Stupid Behavior Caught On Tape a few nights ago. They were most sarcastic about the whole thing. He'll probably sue them next.
Crazy


vonSanta

Dec 26, 2003, 11:16 PM
Post #186 of 309 (4156 views)
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How about this: newbie student jumper on S/L. Canopy opens fine.

Now we share the arifield with gliders who're pulled up along a wire. When one glider is launched, there's usually one alnding. Therefore: no crossing the runway if you're 500 meters or below.

Student is on radio. Doesn't heed instructions. End up flying low, directly over the runway and parallel to it at less than 300 meters. The woman guiding him down is screaming to him so loud his radio can be heard from the ground. Student does nothing.

Steel cable launches the gliders narrowly miss him and clip the extreme outer edge of his canopy. When he lands his canopy wraps around a just landed glider that has come to a halt maybe half a second prior to him landing.

His excuses: a) "couldn't hear the radio" and b) (once told that *it could be heard *on the ground*): "the woman guiding me down was giving me wrong info. She wasn't guiding me down safely, so I ignored her".

Student was perma-grounded.


(This post was edited by vonSanta on Dec 26, 2003, 11:18 PM)


themitchyone  (A 45471)

Dec 27, 2003, 9:43 AM
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In reply to:
I did my AFF out at Perris and did note some things after watching that hilarious ass video.

I didn't realize that Lutz was at Perris. I'm going to watch that video again, but the site is down! Tongue

4. It's damn hard to hit the powerlines out there in the north field. He must have been aiming for them on purpose. While he was at it, he should have aimed for some other hazards out there like the 215 freeway with the big trucks speeding by. On second thought, he probably couldn't have reached it so he settled for the powerlines instead after considering the swoop pond, hangar, and water canal as possible landing sites.

You are so right. I remember in that video it was as if he was trying to flock up. Maybe he was looking to sue or just to get notoriety. More stupid!


jumpingjoe  (A 43349)

Dec 31, 2003, 7:35 AM
Post #188 of 309 (4006 views)
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OK...I have a couple but I will start with this one. An AFF student comes to the DZ. He manages to piss just about everyone off within his first jump class. A real attitude. During his AFF he would call the DZ to find out the weather, but live 1.5 hours away, then yells at manifest because the weather changed and he can't jump. On level two or three he was under canopy and listening to radio, the instructor was attempting to guide him and told him to flat turn to his left a little (DZ is on his right but he was high) for a couple of quick s turns. The guy makes a HARD left. Nose dives a bit and lands in the tree line. He was high enough that no one can reach him. The DZ has a resident Tree Expert but unfortunatly he was 45 minutes away. So up in the tree he sat. Once he got down, he yelled at the AFF instructor for telling him to turn. Explaining to the AFF instructor that the instructor did not understand what he was doing. The instructor tried to explain what was going on and the student just made a comment that the instructor just didn't get it.

Well hanging in a tree for about an hour could not have happened to a nicer guy.


jumpingjoe  (A 43349)

Dec 31, 2003, 8:02 AM
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Ok...here is one about myself. Level 6.2...yes I failed the first time around. Well my JM said that he wanted me to do a superman exit on this go around since my exits were going great. Well we are at altitude my JM steps outside on the step, I look at him look down, and take a step backward. My JM is waving frantically for me to jump, I hear him screaming c'mon, c'mon. I look again and back up again. He then SCREAMS JUUUMMMPPPP!!!!!! I closed my eyes and rolled out the plane. The worst exit I ever did.

Now I love them!!!! Sly


jumpingjoe  (A 43349)

Dec 31, 2003, 8:18 AM
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OK...I got one more....Picture this....a beautiful blue sky day in NJ. At the DZ it is safety day. We just finished lectures about canopy landing patterns and all that fun stuff. So this person goes up on her first jump off student status. She was never fully comfortable under canopy and as she is coming in, you can tell that she is landing off. One of the guys takes the 6 wheeler out to go pick her up. After a long delay he comes back with her and she is soaked and muddy, puzzled everyone askes where she landed. Well, she discovered a swamp that most of us never knew existed. She manged to get blown throw the narrowest of areas avoiding sticker bushes and trees. The 6 wheeler went back to get the gear and now is stuck in the mud floating in the swamp. So a couple more of us head out. The safety guy who only got to the DZ a few days ago is with us and starts heading out into the muck to get the gear. As he steps down he sinks to his neck in thick black muck. So now we have a safety guy, and a 6 wheeler stuck in the swamp. The safety guy manages to get himself out and get to the gear. We get the 6 wheeler unstuck as well. So off we go...so we thought. The 4x4 pickup truck that we were all in is now spinning all four tires. So now that is out. So after about 2 hours of playing in mud getting things unstuck the day is good. But not for this poor girl. She decides to go to the liquor store to buy beer for everyone and at age 35, soaking wet and covered in mud...they won't sell it to her because they believe her id is fake.

After all that, and a Scott Miller canopy class, she is doing awesome as a skydiver.

Blue Skies to all
and to all a drunk night!


Casurf1978  (A License)

Jan 6, 2004, 10:48 AM
Post #191 of 309 (3845 views)
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Still in Aff so newbie with cap N, dont know if i should be posting here but just a few quick questions to any jms out there. When you get new students can you 'tell' which ones might end up in this thread or ones which just shouldn't be jumping? Have any one of you ever refused to jump with a student for any reason?


lawrocket  (Student)

Oct 11, 2004, 8:51 PM
Post #192 of 309 (3583 views)
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Just saw the Lutz episode on "Maximum Exposure" today. THought I'd refresh this thread in his dishonor.

p.s. - astonished that he said absolutely nothing (nor did the narrator) about what he did wrong.


nate_1979  (B 27889)

Oct 11, 2004, 8:58 PM
Post #193 of 309 (3579 views)
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In reply to:
Just saw the Lutz episode on "Maximum Exposure" today. THought I'd refresh this thread in his dishonor.

p.s. - astonished that he said absolutely nothing (nor did the narrator) about what he did wrong.

LOL.. "I looked up and the canopy was round and full" haha...


GeordieSkydiver  (D 105023)

Oct 12, 2004, 12:43 AM
Post #194 of 309 (3514 views)
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Not too dumb, but funny anyway.

I had done about 40(ish) jumps and was jumping in Northern Ireland. I'd previously only jumped PC, but these rigs were rip cord.

1st jump and I throw the ripcord away... oops...

2nd jump, I throw the ripcord away...... Blush...

3rd jump....you got it....I throw the ripcord away... this is getting embarrasing.... thats 3 crates of beer I owe...

4th jump.... I throw the ripcord away.

Go figure....

Lee


ernguru  (C License)

Oct 12, 2004, 4:40 AM
Post #195 of 309 (3476 views)
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In reply to:
I could probably qualify for this award, that is, if I liked golf.

Few years ago, back in my student days, I went through my ground school after doing my 4 tandems. During this time, we did practice stuff on the ground with throwout pc's, naturally. When I did my tandems, I had a ripcord. Big difference between the two. Well, we got in the air, the dive couldn't have gone better (really it was great, i have video) until pull time. I grab my pilot chute, and for some stupid reason, think "ripcord". That's right kids, I held onto my pilot chute. No shit, there I was, thought I was gonna die, with nothing above my head, thinking I had a total mal. I let go of the "ripcord" to go for my cutaway and POOF, canopy. Cool Needless to say, I was the ass of more than a few jokes on the ground, and I always tell new students now "Trust me, you could have done dumber things." I still watch the video sometimes just to have a good laugh. It's in slow-mo at that point, hahaha!!!!

I remember this one. I also had just moved from the ripcord to the throwaway. 1st jump all ok.
2nd jump pulled held on thinking shit taking a while to open had a look above me and saw this cloth flapping in my hand. DOH THROWAWAY. Got a few comments from my instructor. 3rd jump same thing thinking I'm not going to lose the ripcord and pay a fine. Finally realised when I was going for cutaway. What made me stop doing it was my instructor telling me if I did it again then he was going to ban me for a month.
Golf's a boring sport anyway........


DJL  (C License)

Oct 12, 2004, 4:55 AM
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Student did 40-50 military static line jumps and wanted to bring his wife out for a rollercoater ride. DZO gives the lecture on why to do a tandem instead of AFF but the guy doesn't listen. He has a solid AFF jump, deployment, and canopy ride until about 150 feet. He hears his instructor tell his wife "(name) flare", and he flares. He puts his canopy into a stall and drops towards the grounds. The back corners of the canopy touch and he flies backwards towards a hangar as the canopy continues to collapse. The instructor sees this and yells, "let up on the brakes." Now at 30 ft, the canopy reinflates, surges forward into full flight, the student is at 60 degrees looking at the taxiway. He flares again and swings through the pendulum just enough to scrape hard against the taxiway. He tore through the seat of his jumpsuit and removed most of the skin from his knuckles.


skyhighkiy  (B License)

Oct 12, 2004, 8:20 AM
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2 stories here.

I have a buddy that I was jumping with over the summer, he was a cool guy but rather afraid to hang by his hands, off the strut of the C-182. He'd always hook his arm over it.

anyway, one day (I think i was his...30th somethin jump) he climbed out on to the strut and hung by his arm. I guess he'd been gunning for camera time (tandem camera) and he let go with one arm to get his face in the shot. THe video is hilarious as you watch him slide all the way down the strut and up against the body of the plane while hanging by one arm, a look of terror as he's screaming. he then lets go, spinsa round, lands on the step, and slides his way off the step in to freefall....I can't tell you how many times we watched that in slow-mo


2nd story. 2 incidents within a week of each other, same guy. student has tons of time to turn either direction, (at least a good couple hundred) and ends up going straight in to the only tree that's not completely but almost to the entire side of the landing zone.

Week after, (1st day since tree incident) He comes in again, another huge straight in approach, lands and goes sliding and tumbling across the tar mac. rips R.O.L (not in use) off the lleg strap, scuffs on the container, broke the little bit of line that goes through the 3 ring system.


Praetorian  (B 27234)

Oct 12, 2004, 8:36 AM
Post #198 of 309 (3398 views)
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post the video? ask your friend first if you want to be nice but damn thats gotta be funnie (give that we know he lived with mostly just wounded pride)


skyhighkiy  (B License)

Oct 12, 2004, 3:50 PM
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i'll see if i can get it :)

yeh, no injury


BillyVance  (D 18895)

Oct 12, 2004, 4:17 PM
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I remember one from the DZ where I started. My instructor (I had already graduated from student status) was working with another student, and he had gone over the plan with him several times before the jump. The student was to climb all the way out on the strut of the C182, and the instructor was next to him with a foot on the step. He goes, Ready Set Go and leaves, but the student is still hanging and I see the instructor with a disgusted "HEY!" look on his face... I look at the student, back down at the instructor, back at the student, and takes off myself, and the idiot is still hanging there!! Crazy he did finally let go a few seconds after me...

Blue Skies
Billy


thelem  (C 103786)

Oct 12, 2004, 4:24 PM
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Sorry if these have been mentioned in previous posts (I couldn't be bothered to read all 8 pages), but here are a couple of stories I have heard:

1) The student who chopped because the canopy was the wrong colour. All the photos were of red white and blue canopies, so what an orange white and green (or whatever) canopy appeared he decided he wanted another one...

2) The student who chopped because the slider didn't stay up (similar to an early post, except this guy actually chopped and I've met him).

3) A guy who chopped because his spring loaded pilot chute had gone over the front of his canopy. It was flying fine, but it wasn't something he was expecting so he (quite reasonably IMO) decided to chop it.

4) Me. On about jump 100 my 170 canopy opened on heading an immediatly started spiraling. I was able to stop it by pulling down on one of the rear risers, but I couldn't see what was wrong with it and I didn't want to land it like that. When I got to the ground and recovered the canopy, it turned out the packer (um, yeah, ok, it was me) had not set one of the brakes. Because I had been controling it on the risers I hadn't actually looked at that :(


acrojunky  (C License)

Oct 12, 2004, 5:37 PM
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well I remember a video on some show and some guy wanted to fly to five/four feet and cut away on the flare really close to his family and freinds to impress his freinds and scare his wife a little but it was planned for 5 feet so he wouldn't get hurt well he comes down and everybody is like ooooooo aaaaaa thats soo cool ext ext well he's at like 20 25 feet chop's it all of usuden oooooo no just when he hit you could here both his legs snap ten feet away and his head put a dibit in the ground weird part of it all is that he lived and in the hospital his budy got him a skyhook as a get well present dum ass


justaflygirl  (B License)

Oct 12, 2004, 6:52 PM
Post #203 of 309 (5428 views)
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Scott Lutz.... I know I know where have I been....That has got to be the stupidest dumbest thing I have ever seen!...OMG! People like him give our lifestyle a bad name, and as the ignorant narrator said,"there was only a thousand feet between him and death" Please, that view where that was said was at least 4000 feet, and being an AFF student his student cypres would have fired a long time before 1000'...okay I'm done ranting, I know this has been said over & over but damn this guy is a real moron...

Mad


crash700  (A 42869)

Oct 12, 2004, 9:49 PM
Post #204 of 309 (5387 views)
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In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.

<cough>skyhook

what a fucking retard. He can probably barely pilot a pair of tennis shoes, let alone a canopy or a car.


genitor  (D License)

Oct 12, 2004, 11:44 PM
Post #205 of 309 (5364 views)
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In reply to:
... and being an AFF student his student cypres would have fired a long time before 1000'...okay I'm done ranting, I know this has been said over & over but damn this guy is a real moron...

Mad

And just when does a student CYPRES fire?


DOCsa  (B 932797)

Oct 13, 2004, 3:10 AM
Post #206 of 309 (5343 views)
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In reply to:
The video is on, http://www.skydivingmovies.com under "from TV" and then 4freefall. heh.

Why doesn't the rig have a RSL???? I thought that was compulsory


skydiverton  (D 123456789)

Oct 13, 2004, 4:16 AM
Post #207 of 309 (5329 views)
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Student asking to AFF isnstructor during boarding:

So do I have to pull when the arrow shows 0?

No joke, really saw it.
(student did not board the airplane after that)


ernguru  (C License)

Oct 13, 2004, 4:21 AM
Post #208 of 309 (5326 views)
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Does anyone have the video from Bo Selecta when he did Michael Jackson


soeperboer  (B 2327)

Oct 13, 2004, 5:38 AM
Post #209 of 309 (5298 views)
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"Student" with approx 70 jumps (lots of solos!) request a two-way coaching jump.I agree (always a good opportunity!).DZ operates a Porter , but it was a busy day , so a Caravan was flown in to assist.First time for "student" to exit Caravan.I decided to door jam Caravan ( at this point static ...being refueled) with "student" (being floater for this twoway) in order to simplify exit on actual skydive.On the count "..ready ...set ...go", .........yep , he goes.Falls 4ft onto the runway and breaks his wrist.....! I still haven't heard the end of it(from my mates!)....and doubt if I ever will!Crazy


DOCsa  (B 932797)

Oct 14, 2004, 9:06 AM
Post #210 of 309 (5158 views)
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Re: [ernguru] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

www.skydivingmovies.com in the TV section


(This post was edited by DOCsa on Oct 14, 2004, 9:07 AM)


pilotdave  (D License)

Oct 14, 2004, 9:44 AM
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http://www.skydivingmovies.com/...ion=file&id=1016 to be exact.

Dave


riddler  (D 10234)

Oct 14, 2004, 1:53 PM
Post #212 of 309 (5110 views)
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After teaching FJC, I always try to find out - either from the student, or instructor - how their jump went. None of my students have done anything incredibly stupid yet, but if they did, I would take it personally. Either I didn't teach them well enough, or I didn't recommend that they don't jump. Yes, there have been a few students that I recommend do not jump. Some of the issues I've heard on this thread, I would attribute to poor training and the lack of the instructor to get an idea of the awareness of the student. You can't account for everything, but instructors have to take some responsibility too.

Now, I've seen some other people's students Tongue Like the guy that trained in Poland. He opened his 230 into strong headwind and was flying backwards. He wasn't going to make the landing area, so he chopped at 2500 feet and opened his reserve by 1,000, narrowly avoiding a CYPRES fire. On the ground, he explained that he wanted to get down faster so he wasn't blown backwards as far. Yes, it was stupid. It was also stupid for the DZO to allow the student to jump in strong headwinds - USPA recommends 14 MPH limit until A license.

Then there was the guy that just graduated AFF. On his first solo, he went unstable every time he reached back to pull. From 5,000 to 1,000, he tried to pull several times, but each time he went unstable, so he did not complete the pull. What did he do? Waited. He knew the CYPRES would fire, so he waited for it. Luckily it did fire and saved his life. Luckily, the CYPRES OS isn't written by Microsoft, too, or else it surely would have crashed, and so would he. Maybe the instructor didn't cover pull priorities well enough.


dgskydive  (C 25738)

Oct 14, 2004, 3:39 PM
Post #213 of 309 (5082 views)
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In reply to:
I would try not to make a habit of that twisting thing (without knowing the exact movement you're describing, of course) - you generally want to be as symmetrical as possible right after you deploy.

This is what people are taught in Static line. Not to "TWIST" per say, but to Arch, look, reach, pull and clear burble. The last part is what he is refering to. Looking at the d-bag come off your back. The logic is that by looking at the bag you will dip a shoulder and let air flow cleanly over your back, helping the Spring loaded PC get clean air and come off your back faster. I still do that to this day. I keep my body nice and straight but look real hard over my right shoulder. I can usually see everything up until it reaches line stretch.

In my mind at least, it allows me to be a bit ahead of the game so to speak. If I let go my PC and don't see the bag coming off my back real quick like I know I have a problem.


(This post was edited by dgskydive on Oct 14, 2004, 3:40 PM)


grue  (D License)

Oct 15, 2004, 12:51 PM
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Mine's nowhere near any of these, but it was still about 25 feet from being really embarassing.

On my second S/L jump, I was coming in on the DZ, and the ground radioman told me to "line up on the alfalfa". Not being an agricultural sort, I realised I had no idea what alfalfa looked like from ground level, let alone on my downwind leg at 1,000 feet. So I lined up on the corn instead, then extended my base leg a bit to clear off the corn, then landed with the corn about 20' to my left Laugh

however, nobody was the wiser, because the alfalfa was the wild-growing grass and shit next to the corn field, so they all thought I was following instructions SlySlySlySly


(This post was edited by grue on Oct 15, 2004, 12:53 PM)


obelixtim  (D 84)

Oct 15, 2004, 3:38 PM
Post #215 of 309 (4931 views)
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 Stupid student = stupider instructor......

End of story........

("What story???"...."no story"...."straight to bed!!!")....


ryoder  (D 6663)

Oct 16, 2004, 8:15 PM
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Re: [riddler] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Now, I've seen some other people's students Tongue Like the guy that trained in Poland. He opened his 230 into strong headwind and was flying backwards. He wasn't going to make the landing area, so he chopped at 2500 feet and opened his reserve by 1,000, narrowly avoiding a CYPRES fire. On the ground, he explained that he wanted to get down faster so he wasn't blown backwards as far. Yes, it was stupid. It was also stupid for the DZO to allow the student to jump in strong headwinds - USPA recommends 14 MPH limit until A license.

I might not believe that story, but I was on that load, and saw it. It was one of those not uncommon instances at that DZ where the winds go from 5-10 mph on exit, to 20-30 under canopy.


Courteney  (D 24)

Oct 20, 2004, 5:14 PM
Post #217 of 309 (4666 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Was told of a German first jump student at our dz years ago, First jump, good exit and arch, canopy opens square and flying straight, next thing he cuts away and pulls his reserve handle!!!
When asked why he did that it was found that he was taught his reserve procedures a tad too close to his exit procedure. He didn't stop at Arch thousand...five thousand check canopy! He continued to MALFUNCTION!!! Look, Handles, etc. He thought that it was all one procedure.


riggerrob  (D 14840)

Oct 22, 2004, 7:44 AM
Post #218 of 309 (4561 views)
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Re: [soeperboer] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
"Student" with approx 70 jumps (lots of solos!) request a two-way coaching jump.I agree (always a good opportunity!).DZ operates a Porter , but it was a busy day , so a Caravan was flown in to assist.First time for "student" to exit Caravan.I decided to door jam Caravan ( at this point static ...being refueled) with "student" (being floater for this two way) in order to simplify exit on actual skydive.On the count "..ready ...set ...go", .........yep, he goes.Falls 4 feet onto the runway and breaks his wrist.....! I still haven't heard the end of it(from my mates!)....and doubt if I ever will!Crazy

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The last time I dirt-dived a tandem exit from a Beech 18, the student got ahead of me and launched us, head-first onto the grass!
Felt like I broke my neck!
The scary part is - a year later - I saw a new TI practicing the same exit out of our new King Air!


flailmonkey2  (C 35095)

Oct 25, 2004, 7:41 AM
Post #219 of 309 (4412 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

An IAF student goes on his level 4.....and when he goes to pull his pliot shoot he brings it in front of his face and looks SHOCKED he thought he broke it or something and panicks..and furiously tries to hand it off to his jumpmaster!


skyhighkiy  (B License)

Oct 25, 2004, 8:19 AM
Post #220 of 309 (4402 views)
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Re: stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

not really that stupid but I remember another friend of mine on one of his first jumps transitioning from a rip cord to throw out. (around jump 15)

long story short, he went to pull and heeld on to his pc.

the bridal wrapped around the parachute and he freaked out and cut away (releasing PC right before he started emergency procedures)

cutaway at approx...4000 or 45

landed the reserve in the peas Cool


UDSkyJunkie  (D 25746)

Oct 25, 2004, 8:27 PM
Post #221 of 309 (4323 views)
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Re: stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Aight, I've got a good one...

Several years back, we had a lady just off student status (like 15-20 jumps) actually land INSIDE a Beech 18. She got such a bad case of object fixation that she went right through the door, somehow managing to narrowly miss hitting either side, or the top or bottom. Ended up sitting dead in the middle of the plane, without a scratch, and the canopy went over the fusalage and draped on the other side. Very lucky that an instructor had, less than five minutes earlier, forgotten to close the plexiglass door after doing some exit practice with another student.

I SWEAR this is a true story, I couldn't make it up if I tried!


hookitt  (D License)

Apr 23, 2005, 10:26 AM
Post #222 of 309 (3965 views)
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Re: stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Joey Jones showed me a video of a good one. He was working in Beaumont Texas as an AFF instructor.

The video shows a student flying his Manta, you could hear the radio instructions in the audio. The camera pans quickly to the left then back to the student.

The radio commands were being ignored by the student. Joey (who was not giving the radio instructions) was shouting somethging about turning the canopy.

The student kept flying straight without turning or flaring smack dab into the side of a Blimp. Yes... a big ass blimp. The canopy collapsed then reinflated just above the ground and the student was uninjured.

The camera man and Joey are running toward the student as he stood up... "Huh huh.. She flew me right into a Blimp"


livenletfly  (D 28096)

Apr 23, 2005, 11:06 PM
Post #223 of 309 (3893 views)
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Re: [hookitt] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

WOW!!!!!!! roflamo!!! i would give up a pinky to see that video. that is the funniest shit ive evr heard!
a muthaflipping blimp!! man im crying from laughter


bbarnhouse  (D License)
Pixie
Apr 24, 2005, 6:13 AM
Post #224 of 309 (3854 views)
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Re: [livenletfly] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Huh huh.. She flew me right into a Blimp

Bwahhhhhhhh <gulp and coming up for air> Man that is one of the funniest damn stories I have ever heard. I would love to see the video! Bwahhhhhh


hookitt  (D License)

Apr 24, 2005, 11:09 AM
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Re: [bbarnhouse] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I wish I had that video too. If you see Joey, ask him about the blimp, he'll wonder how in the heck you found out about it.


NickDG  (D 8904)

Apr 24, 2005, 7:43 PM
Post #226 of 309 (7673 views)
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Re: [hookitt] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

As for the Lutz (Sparky) thing I was there and working with another student at the time.

Moley is the main/side JM and Rocky is reserve/side JM. Both are excellent AFF Instructors and good friends of mine but neither are internet types. We had a "murder session" after this incident and if they posted here they would each say the following.

To be fair to Lutz many FJC students try to pull the wrong handle and JMs can usually correct that mistake. The rigs are student Talons and the main ripcord and cutaway pud can be fairly close together. In the hanging harness' Perris used at the time they weren't close together at all.

A lot of things went wrong on this jump.

The first of course was the student skipping the "look" part of the pull sequence, the second was his first jump instructor (I won't name him as he's no longer among the living) not teaching how different a soft pud feels from a hard knob. The third is Lutz fighting Moley from repositioning his hand.

After Lutz pulled the cutaway handle Moley correctly deployed the student's main. That's SOP. The idea is the RSL will now deploy the reserve.

Now two more out of the ordinary things happened.

Perris is using snap shackles to attach the RSL and the shackle somehow came open before pulling up on the reserve cable. (They use connector links now.) The next thing is Rocky on reserve side didn't notice Moley stayed in position after the main deployment bag lifted off, something mainside isn't supposed to do. This might have been a tip off something wasn't right. Rocky let go and turned to track as Lutz is pulled from his grasp, but before the Three rings released. And technically reserve sides responsibility ends at line stretch.

If Moley had left after deploying the main, and then Rocky did what he did, Lutz would have probably gone in. At the time Perris had a single AAD (they were FXCs) attached to the mains and they are set for 3500-feet. That idea in itself is another whole can of worms . . .

Moley then dropped down into Lutz's sight line, with Koji, the cameraman in hot pursuit. Moley began making pulling motions on his own reserve handle. That's the only thing that saved Lutz as he was totally freaked at that point, had no ADD, and no clue what to do next. He finally pulled the reserve handle at Moley's urging and the rest is how you see it in the video. He paid no attention to the radio or the instruction he had about canopy control earlier in the day . . .

NickD Smile
BASE 194


FrogNog  (C 34484)

May 6, 2005, 3:47 PM
Post #227 of 309 (7398 views)
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Re: [NickDG] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Three cheers for Moley!


JayCam  (Student)

Jun 11, 2005, 3:55 AM
Post #228 of 309 (6861 views)
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Re: [FrogNog] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Not a great story but someone I know was setting up a sit exit from a porter ready to do a dummy pull and instead of jumping to face the slip stream tried to jump in order to face the tail of the plane. God knows why. I imagine he must have given the instructor who was holding onto him a shock as well as he was way bigger and probably could have pulled him out lol. No problems though just about a million line twists!

Nowhere near as good as the guy that chopped coz he was goin to hit trees. haha thats classic.

J


jlkskycam  (D 20518)

Jun 12, 2005, 9:52 PM
Post #229 of 309 (6726 views)
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Re: [hookitt] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I have this on tape - it happened a year or so(?) before I started jumping - 93 or 94, I think. It goes something like this near as I can remember - I haven't looked at it in several years:

Video shows large student canopy, going from right to left and soon a MetLife blimp comes into view on the left, parked on the field at Beaumont Municipal.

The student drifts closer towards the blimp.

Camera-guy: Turn left...TURN LEFT!!!

(softly to himself)

get the f**K away from that blimp...

The student drifts closer...

Cameraguy: NO!!!

Student flies into the side of the blimp - probably about 30' up in the air.

Blimp: WHANG!

Canopy collapses, student slides/falls down side of the blimp, canopy starts to reinflate, surges forward a little, student actually does a decent PLF.

(there's a pregnant pause...then...)

Cameraguy: COOL DEAL BUDDY!!!

Student picks himself up and starts gathering up his main.

Student: (kinda laughing) She flew me into a blimp!

Cameraguy: (also laughing) You're not supposed to hit the blimp!

Student: I hope they don't mind...

Cameraguy: Well, they'll have to get over it!

Two other people run into frame from the right, hurriedly, craning their necks upwards and checking out where the student pasted the blimp - no apparent damage.

True story.

Also - I remember someone out there saying the cameraguy later tried to send it to RealTV but they turned it down - said it was clearly staged.

-Jerry


Belgian_Skygirl  (B License)

Jun 13, 2005, 3:18 AM
Post #230 of 309 (6680 views)
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Re: [jlkskycam] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

As this is not the most common sport, I think students can do stupid things due to stress... they don't think clear and some radio guided instructions... they hear it, but can't understand them as they are... blocked in their minds. Afterwards they talk or try to talk themselves out... I think the message s heard, but not listenend to in many cases... due to stress or even a form of panic. Maybe what those students experience is kind of a brainlock... I don't know... however... those mistakes are dangerous.


tempretired  (A 19639)

Jun 13, 2005, 9:43 AM
Post #231 of 309 (6603 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

A foreign military send a soldier to be trained at our DZ back in '93 or '94. He was being trained at our DZ so that he could go back to his country and train his country's soldiers. He was jumping all military gear that they had purchased from Paraflite. I'm sure that I may not have the story perfect but here is my recollection. In his first couple of jumps, every time he got to 10,500 to do a circle of awareness (or was it PRCPs), he would pull and immediately be open and alone at 10,000 while his AFF instructor would deploy at 2,500. Actually, I think the instructor deployed shortly after him the first time to try to help guide him back to the DZ and after that left him alone. Also, in his first couple of jumps, he had a few tree landings. This has to be the worst student that I can remember and he was being trained so that he could train his soldiers.


livenletfly  (D 28096)

Jun 14, 2005, 2:36 PM
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Re: [tempretired] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

how many times did he pull at 10 grand? wow thats pretty pegged out.


tempretired  (A 19639)

Jun 15, 2005, 8:12 AM
Post #233 of 309 (6380 views)
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Re: [livenletfly] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

As I recall, he deployed at 10,500 3 or 4 times and had 2 or 3 tree landings. This student was actually amused by his mistakes. We would ask him why he pulled so high and he would say "I don't know. Every time I reached 10.5, I would repeat the words 10,500 Pull and then I would pull.".

You'd have to see it in person to appreciate it because he'd be telling the story in his third world country accent.


RADskydiver  (Student)

Jun 18, 2005, 5:41 PM
Post #234 of 309 (6200 views)
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Re: [Belgian_Skygirl] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I hear ya. I was a stupid student. Was set up on finnal, going great, instructor on radio tells me to give him a 90 right, I did that, then 90 left then more right I was thinking on where and why I was changing landing pattern and I was speeding up, the next thing I remember is OH SHIT I am landing HERE!!! FLARE!!! Shocked ( at about 4ft from ground) Thinking was too late, stress, or the brain lock thing. I smacked the ground and broke my Femur in half. It could have been way worse. I live to skydive another day. Thanks to every one at my DZ. So much care, love and support!!!Smile
In reply to:


(This post was edited by RADskydiver on Jun 18, 2005, 6:10 PM)


Jumpah  (D License)

Nov 9, 2005, 7:52 AM
Post #235 of 309 (5839 views)
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Re: [RADskydiver] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

On my first AFF jump I was pretty nervous and maybe a bit scared. On the flight up my instructor had me going through my dive flow over and over again. I had done a tandem before, but this was the first time with a rig on my back.

I checked my alti (student loaner) and it was stuck on 1.5. I tapped it but it didn't move. Without thinking about what I was seeing first, I leaned back to my instrutor and said "Hey, this thing's stuck on 1,500!"

You probably guessed it...she looked at me strangly, then pointed in succession to the "11", the "0", and the "1" on my alti while saying "11,000, 12,000.....13,500". Blush

Later on she told me it was one of the funnier things she's heard a student say, but at the time she was thinking "oh s*&^, what am I getting into?"


riggerrob  (D 14840)

Nov 9, 2005, 8:39 AM
Post #236 of 309 (5825 views)
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Re: [Jumpah] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

How about the student who drifted into the swamp, doing exactly what had been taught in ground school?
In ground school, they had practiced walking around, pulling their left hand down to turn the canopy left, etc.
So when she found herself under canopy and the radio instructor said "turn left" she lowered her left hand, but was surprised when her canopy did not turn!
That "blonde" never touched a toggle the whole way down!
ROFLMAO!


Jackpunx  (A 48431)

Nov 9, 2005, 10:06 AM
Post #237 of 309 (5799 views)
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Re: [NickDG] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
As for the Lutz (Sparky) thing I was there and working with another student at the time.

Moley is the main/side JM and Rocky is reserve/side JM. Both are excellent AFF Instructors and good friends of mine but neither are internet types. We had a "murder session" after this incident and if they posted here they would each say the following.

To be fair to Lutz many FJC students try to pull the wrong handle and JMs can usually correct that mistake. The rigs are student Talons and the main ripcord and cutaway pud can be fairly close together. In the hanging harness' Perris used at the time they weren't close together at all.

A lot of things went wrong on this jump.

The first of course was the student skipping the "look" part of the pull sequence, the second was his first jump instructor (I won't name him as he's no longer among the living) not teaching how different a soft pud feels from a hard knob. The third is Lutz fighting Moley from repositioning his hand.

After Lutz pulled the cutaway handle Moley correctly deployed the student's main. That's SOP. The idea is the RSL will now deploy the reserve.

Now two more out of the ordinary things happened.

Perris is using snap shackles to attach the RSL and the shackle somehow came open before pulling up on the reserve cable. (They use connector links now.) The next thing is Rocky on reserve side didn't notice Moley stayed in position after the main deployment bag lifted off, something mainside isn't supposed to do. This might have been a tip off something wasn't right. Rocky let go and turned to track as Lutz is pulled from his grasp, but before the Three rings released. And technically reserve sides responsibility ends at line stretch.

If Moley had left after deploying the main, and then Rocky did what he did, Lutz would have probably gone in. At the time Perris had a single AAD (they were FXCs) attached to the mains and they are set for 3500-feet. That idea in itself is another whole can of worms . . .

Moley then dropped down into Lutz's sight line, with Koji, the cameraman in hot pursuit. Moley began making pulling motions on his own reserve handle. That's the only thing that saved Lutz as he was totally freaked at that point, had no ADD, and no clue what to do next. He finally pulled the reserve handle at Moley's urging and the rest is how you see it in the video. He paid no attention to the radio or the instruction he had about canopy control earlier in the day . . .

NickD Smile
BASE 194

I have heard this story from a group of instructros there including koji and Moley..
I came in as a student and started to talk about this vid I saw on the internet..They laughed and told me the story..
the most amazing part and Im sure this has been said is.. The student never took any responsibilty in the interview..
so to a normie.. (non skydiver).. it looked like a gear mal...
I showed it to my fiance as a test.. she was horrified and went on how dangerous it is.. I told her what the student didnt do and how they pound that info for 4-6 hrs just before your jump..
She understood.. and then jumped with me the next weekendWink


Mike111

Nov 9, 2005, 11:46 AM
Post #238 of 309 (5753 views)
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Re: [NickDG] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

My dumbest mistake was when i forgot to turn the cypres on and was all kitted up and then realised when i did a mental check 10 min before i got on the plane and had to take the rig off and start againCrazy


NickDG  (D 8904)

Nov 9, 2005, 2:57 PM
Post #239 of 309 (5698 views)
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Re: [Mike111] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

The bottom line is not that there are "stupid" students. The point is good Instructors have been saving "stupid" students since day one in this sport and good Instructors never truly get the credit they deserve.

If you organize skydives, or even sell hot dogs on the DZ, there will always be jumpers around to sing your praises. The majority of people Instructors interact with, especially the ones they do the most for, will generally make one jump, or just a few, and then they are gone. Being a good Instructor means starting all over again and doing it day in and day out . . .

Most skydivers, once they reach a thousand jumps, forget how goofy footed they were as students. They forget the Instructor who let them grab onto them, even after being told not to, while they walked petrified towards the door. They forget the Instructor who quietly listens to their problems like they never heard them before. They forget the day they graduated AFF and an Instructor shakes their hand and says," Man, I'm so proud of you."

Most Instructors I know are satisfied with that, they know glamour is not an Instructor's lot and a job well done is its own reward. But, come on, the next time you see an Instructor heading out for that sixth AFF jump of the day give them a high five, or a pat on the back, and offer to buy them a cold one later. None of us would be here without them . . .

NickD Smile
BASE 194


Mike111

Nov 12, 2005, 8:11 AM
Post #240 of 309 (5541 views)
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Re: [NickDG] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I agree totally and will buy him personally a drink.

Once graduated Ill buy all the staff a couple of crates to thank them for all their help and encouragement.Smile


christelsabine  (D 10828)

Nov 12, 2005, 11:51 AM
Post #241 of 309 (5542 views)
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Re: [NickDG] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
The bottom line is not that there are "stupid" students. The point is good Instructors have been saving "stupid" students since day one in this sport and good Instructors never truly get the credit they deserve.

If you organize skydives, or even sell hot dogs on the DZ, there will always be jumpers around to sing your praises. The majority of people Instructors interact with, especially the ones they do the most for, will generally make one jump, or just a few, and then they are gone. Being a good Instructor means starting all over again and doing it day in and day out . . .

Most skydivers, once they reach a thousand jumps, forget how goofy footed they were as students. They forget the Instructor who let them grab onto them, even after being told not to, while they walked petrified towards the door. They forget the Instructor who quietly listens to their problems like they never heard them before. They forget the day they graduated AFF and an Instructor shakes their hand and says," Man, I'm so proud of you."

Most Instructors I know are satisfied with that, they know glamour is not an Instructor's lot and a job well done is its own reward. But, come on, the next time you see an Instructor heading out for that sixth AFF jump of the day give them a high five, or a pat on the back, and offer to buy them a cold one later. None of us would be here without them . . .

NickD Smile
BASE 194

It was a pleasure to read your post. Even I only made few jumps (and not thousands!), I'd like to tell a short story:

I was one of those idiots in AFF: Trying so hard to follow instructions and failing several times, then injury at landing, which cost me about a year. After that, there was the day my new (Blush) instructor who asked me after 1st jump together: Could it be you do not really SEE the alti??? We checked on the ground. It was exactly like that. I never was mentally overloaded, I was half blind. And never noticed that.

I arranged for the necessary w/in shortest time: Since then, I wear my glasses and am one happy jumper now! I was coming back to this AFF-I with my glasses sitting on the nose, doing AFF and following jumps within few holydays and beeing lucky that he never lost his faith in me. He simply was great, always convinced me that I can do it.. I will never forget his kindness and endless patience. Hats off to Felix. This had to be said.
SmileCool


skysaintj  (C License)

Nov 14, 2005, 12:48 AM
Post #242 of 309 (5395 views)
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Re: [christelsabine] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

 Another one..

Student was supposed to do static line dummy ripcord pull - out of Pilatus porter - went like this GO , 1 thousand , reach thousand , chop thousand , what da f*ck thousand ?
pulled his cutaway handle instaed of dummy

> last seen running fast ...Laugh

- This next one is quite funny though not really student related ...

I recently finished my JM course with a few other people
we had to brief each other on a hop and pop jump as if one is student and instructor in turn..
So the guy briefed me but left out what you do if you can't find the ripcord as a student doing the jump....so i asked him

His response as the "instructor" -

He paused for a while "you really need to find the ripcord it is essential to your survival" i replied - ok but just say i just can't find or pull it ?
him- " if you really can't find it , all our student gear are equiped with aad's so just try and get stable and wait for it "FrownFrownFrownFrownFrownFrownCrazyUnsure

what he actually should have stuttered " Do your reserve drill "

our JMCouse instructor has ressigned to the weekend barman to get to the root of this problem..Tongue

-


Swoosh1  (B 286)

Nov 14, 2005, 10:43 PM
Post #243 of 309 (5241 views)
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Re: [riggerrob] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

No offense to the blondes but can they really not tell their left from right in the air!

My worse was the one that just kept walking back when attemtping to jump. Its not easier on the pilot either when they're taking their sweet time. Sometimes you just gotta run and push!


AFFI  (D 25538)

Nov 15, 2005, 6:40 AM
Post #244 of 309 (5200 views)
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In reply to:
No offense to the blondes but can they really not tell their left from right in the air!

UhOh

Swoosh1 is gonna get it...


Premier wmw999  (D 6296)

Nov 15, 2005, 7:05 AM
Post #245 of 309 (5194 views)
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Quote:
Swoosh1 is gonna get it...
Ah, but only when he least expects itDevil

Wendy W.


kelpdiver  (B 7)

Nov 15, 2005, 1:06 PM
Post #246 of 309 (5126 views)
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Re: [Jumpah] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I checked my alti (student loaner) and it was stuck on 1.5. I tapped it but it didn't move. Without thinking about what I was seeing first, I leaned back to my instrutor and said "Hey, this thing's stuck on 1,500!"

You probably guessed it...she looked at me strangly, then pointed in succession to the "11", the "0", and the "1" on my alti while saying "11,000, 12,000.....13,500". Blush

I still often do a double take at the start of exit run when I'm at a place like Elsinore and a 12,5 target altitude. Alti reads 0. I'm used to 14-15.


Joellercoaster  (D 105792)

Nov 16, 2005, 8:14 AM
Post #247 of 309 (5036 views)
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Re: [RADskydiver] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I've been staying out of this thread because I'm still technically a student and want to give myself the best opportunity to come up with a stupidity story, but I don't think I'm going to be able to top the time I opened the door of the Porter on the two-minute warning Blush

Fortunately an entire plane full of people simultaneously turning and yelling at me got the message across pretty quick and I closed it again.


DJL  (C License)

Nov 16, 2005, 10:01 AM
Post #248 of 309 (5005 views)
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Re: [Joellercoaster] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
Fortunately an entire plane full of people simultaneously turning and yelling at me got the message across pretty quick and I closed it again.

I think that's a better example of how up-jumpers can be amped up idiots and lose their cool.


dragon2  (D 101989)

Nov 16, 2005, 11:14 AM
Post #249 of 309 (4987 views)
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Re: [DJL] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Quote:
Fortunately an entire plane full of people simultaneously turning and yelling at me got the message across pretty quick and I closed it again.

I think that's a better example of how up-jumpers can be amped up idiots and lose their cool.

Depends, if they thought the guy was going to jump out too. One time I saw a JM physically restrain a guy from jumping, the guy was really mad and complained later that he'd been hit. Well I saw what happened, the guy was told to WAIT after the CRW formation got out, but he didn't because one of our TM's smiled at him and nodded him to go. I presume that was a joke, because the jumper should've known better IMO. But he tried to get out past a JM's arm (he didn't need a JM anymore, however apperantly he DID since we were over the city, 1.5 miles before the DZ, and he must've had 150 or more jumps), then he tried again more forcibly to get past the JM who was half blocking the door, then got knocked back a bit for his troubles because he tried AGAIN, the JM telling him to STAY PUT. And then he complained about violence. Riiiight Crazy


Jeff.Donohue  (C 36419)

Nov 16, 2005, 3:14 PM
Post #250 of 309 (4944 views)
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Quote:
One time I saw a JM physically restrain a guy from jumping...

Geez. Maybe it's just my personality (world's most non-confrontational lawyer), or maybe it's my student status talking, but if I were in a lift and someone -- pretty much anyone -- else said, "no, don't jump!", I'd pretty much stop, sit down, and ride the plane down. I'd just assume there is some good reason for it. Never mind the fact that a jumpmaster was saying that; I'd sit down if another student said it... I mean, who knows what they know that you don't, and absent an aircraft emergency, there's always another load...

People are odd.


Tenshi  (Student)

Nov 26, 2005, 8:16 PM
Post #251 of 309 (4912 views)
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In reply to:
This one goes back a couple decades..

We were standing outside the hangar having a smoke when

WHAM!

This white motorcycle helmets smashes to pieces 10 feet from us!

...The staticline student had taken it off and thrown it away,
because he said he couldn't hear the 'emergency radio'
and had asked a question he wasn't hearing a response to!


Well...
He DIDN'T HAVE a radio!
He was trying to 'tune' in the Sentinel AOD! Unsure

For the win.


Salsa_John  (B 9913421)

Nov 28, 2005, 2:17 PM
Post #252 of 309 (4766 views)
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In reply to:
ok lets have some good laughs.
im hosting this years dumbest student awards. lets hear your candidates story.
this years prize is a set of golfclubs.

at 66 jumps I had just got my new rig. I wanted to jump it. Winds were at 17-20 with gusts. Most long timers were not jumping. everything goes fine until on final at about 150'. the wind picks up and backs me up over the active runway. I land ok but get quickly dragged off on my back, about 5 feet. I get up and gather my gear in time to see the otter pass me taking the next load up. Did about $300 of mostly cosmetic damage to the rig. (note: I was well clear of runway when I turned onto final)

Hard lesson learned.

Kudos to Pablo and Festi for making it look like new.


jumpwally  (D License)

Dec 6, 2005, 11:21 AM
Post #253 of 309 (4560 views)
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Re: [lawrocket] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

How did those " Lutz" lawsuits aver turn out? anyone know? That might be a good video to play as you sign the waiver,,,Cool


exnavykds  (B 28231)

Dec 7, 2005, 6:21 AM
Post #254 of 309 (4455 views)
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Re: [Tenshi] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
He DIDN'T HAVE a radio!

LMAO!!! Too funny!!!


darrenspooner  (C 102365)

Dec 7, 2005, 3:43 PM
Post #255 of 309 (4394 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Sorry to be a wanker, but this is offensive in some places. You see, when you get anxious (as in, being a newbie) this hormone called cortisol shuts down some bits of your brain. One of the most important is the pre-frontal cortex. This is the bit that helps you to think rationally, solve problems, make judgments, and so on. Its not surprising that students do some fucked up things. They are so anxious they lose the ability to think clearly. I know there's a huge safety issue here, and some people simply shouldn't be cleared to jump, but shitting on people for goofing up just makes it a whole bunch worse. Why don't you help them to feel more confident, rather than making them feel like fuck ups?


Silverchic  (A 9160)

Dec 7, 2005, 8:45 PM
Post #256 of 309 (4357 views)
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Re: [darrenspooner] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Ok I'm not going to be offensive to anyone but myself:

AFF 1 - Everything was going really well, I had gone ok in freefall, canopy opened nicely, I even remembered to check it! Did a flare, couple of turns following my JM's instructions on the radio then one of my toggles got stuck up in the riser (wouldn't be a problem now but it freaked me out a bit at the time) and my JM told me to turn right...well I couldn't and I tried to tell him I couldn't! Then he stopped talking to me!!! Luckily I was still calm enough to turn around left and managed to get the toggle out to flare on landing...

Then to make matters worse I had a go at my JM for not talking to me!! He then proceded to tell me that the radio's are one way unless I take it out of the helmet and press the lovely little button on the side! Which he didn't recommend at 1000ft above a desert full of spinifex (a lot of fun to find it again)!

Good story - nobody got hurt and it provides a bit of entertainment for anyone who hears it! =)


rsmn17  (A 49340)

Dec 8, 2005, 8:50 AM
Post #257 of 309 (4311 views)
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Re: [Silverchic] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Sounds like me. I know the radios are one way but for some reason I always talk back to them! I guess it's comforting to just pretend someone can hear youCrazy


Silverchic  (A 9160)

Dec 8, 2005, 3:49 PM
Post #258 of 309 (4255 views)
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I didn't try it again! =) Have you ever forgotten to turn it on? We have a C182 so it takes a while to get to height and to conserve the batteries we usually turn on the radio's just before exit. I think I had to turn on my radio under canopy 3 times...


nvanduyn  (A License)

Dec 9, 2005, 1:30 AM
Post #259 of 309 (4205 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

hah, didn't know you guys were still talking about this guy...

Well relatively my first jumps without that much incident, except for my first AFF. I deployed alright and spend way to much time looking up at my canopy making sure it deployed correctly. By the time I was done and looked for the DZ I had flown away from the DZ, and to make matters worse, I was downwind. The thought "oh shit!!! where the hell is the DZ" came to mind. As I started to make it closer to the DZ, I saw these little black lines that were in my line of flight, and then the words, "Those are POWER LINES, you are NOT going to make it over them!" came over the radio. Anyway, I was forced to do a 180 about 400 ft in the air and land downwind in a field with cactus...ouch.

that was about it though.


ncfitzge  (B License)

Dec 9, 2005, 3:23 AM
Post #260 of 309 (4189 views)
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My first jump I landed on top of one of the turns of a motor-cross track, rolled down a hill and nailed a log with my thigh. Was grounded the rest of the day and you could see where the cracks in the log were on the bruise on my leg.


packing_jarrett  (D License)

Dec 14, 2005, 4:56 PM
Post #261 of 309 (3998 views)
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we had such a stupid student we didn't let him jump!!!!


Silverchic  (A 9160)

Dec 14, 2005, 9:15 PM
Post #262 of 309 (3962 views)
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We had a guy come out to do his AFF - to start with he was terrified of the DZ dog who has to be the laziest, sookiest dog you will ever meet...he came down from his tandem as white as a sheet and about as quiet as one too! But still went up for his AFF 1 - I don't know all the details of the freefall so I won't say anything incase I get it wrong (but it was BAD!) but under canopy he wouldn't listen to the instructor and ended up crash landing way out in the spinifex and just lying there until they went and rescued him! We haven't actually seen him in a while - I think maybe he decided by himself that skydiving wasn't the sport for him! Smile


Psychoward  (Student)

Dec 19, 2005, 10:58 PM
Post #263 of 309 (3829 views)
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I'm glad i found this forum, 9 AFF jumps and still at level 4.
Too stubborn to give up, but the instructors are right, Im not hopeles or (so it seems) even close to the worst student ever. I just run out of money faster.
There was another AFFer jumping 3 times the same day I tried to pass level 4 and he got so freiked out he pulled his BOC pilot chute but refused to let go of it, even after the container deployed.
By the way, I am also a television engineer, and most people don't know this, but except for albinos, EVERYBODYS skin is the same color, (The I and Q subcarriers of NTSC were developed on this fact) it just has a different level of saturation. So, black and white are both incorrect, there is just lighter and darker skin.


scottmyers

Dec 21, 2005, 1:35 PM
Post #264 of 309 (3719 views)
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I am trying so hard to keep from laughing at what I just read on this thread. Guess everyone does have their moments similar to what happened to best experts in their profession when they have a meltdown moment. See ya!


bch7773  (C License)

Dec 21, 2005, 11:52 PM
Post #265 of 309 (3656 views)
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Our tandem master came down one day laughing his ass off. It turns out his student, a very scared young girl, is unstable during freefall so he pulls a little high.

He's talking to her under canopy and she isn't responding, but he knows shes not unconcious as she is still really stiff and holding her arms way out to her sides.

After about 2000' of canopy flight, she finally whispers to him "Can I stop arching now?"

Laugh


zoobrothertom  (D 9397)

Jan 23, 2012, 9:44 PM
Post #266 of 309 (2403 views)
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In reply to:
ok lets have some good laughs.
im hosting this years dumbest student awards. lets hear your candidates story.
this years prize is a set of golfclubs.
-------------------------
Okay, someone's got to bump this thread back to the top. Have we had no 'challenged' students since the last post?!

I'll reboot it with a story of my own. Oh, BTW, you know I was an awesome student! Oh, sure....

At Ft. Lewis Washington in summer of '82 I was ready for my first clear and pull from a Chinook Helicopter, CH-47. I get the go and bunny hopped off the tailgate. I actually did a good hop and pop. The fun starts under 300 feet.

As I'm drifting under my MC-1B, 35 foot round with steering toggles, I'm still holding my ripchord. As I drift over the windsock at about 100', I dropped my ripchord (in reality, I was tired of holding it and thought I could try a little impact accuracy with it) and almost hit the windsock.

Oh no, the newby fun is not over. I drifted past the LZ and into the biggest fucking christmas tree I've ever seen. I hit it ass first about 20 feet up. The tree collasped into a slide and I slid down it to a perfect standup landing.

So, Pvt. Garrison was on the hook for 3 cases of beer. First freefall, Dropping the ripchord and First standup landing. I ponyied up (how the hell do you spell Pony+ed) with a small keg and just smiled.

Okay, there are several years of stupidity missing here.

Pony Up!!


JohnRich  (D License)

Jan 24, 2012, 7:52 AM
Post #267 of 309 (2301 views)
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In reply to:
I drifted past the LZ and into the biggest fucking christmas tree I've ever seen. I hit it ass first about 20 feet up. The tree collasped into a slide and I slid down it to a perfect standup landing.

Rerminds me of something I witnessed when I jumped in Florida. Someone landed atop a palm tree, the only tree around for a hundred yards, naturally. Now, plam trees don't have a lot of surface area on top, and are surrounded by flimsy fronds. But by gosh they landed on top of that plam tree, standing up, and then didn't fall out of the tree either. I would not have believed it if I hadn't seen if for myself. This was at the old Indiantown DZ.


(This post was edited by JohnRich on Jan 24, 2012, 7:53 AM)


Abedy  (D 10153)

Jan 24, 2012, 10:55 AM
Post #268 of 309 (2178 views)
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Re: [zoobrothertom] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

First of all, tnx for the funny story. And I learned a new phrase: to pony (sth) up Cool

In reply to:
I ponyied up (how the hell do you spell Pony+ed) with a small keg and just smiled.

It's "I ponied up" as in all verbs ending with y. Have look here.

And, heck, goodonya bringing a keg Wink


jackwallace  (Student)

Jan 24, 2012, 11:18 AM
Post #269 of 309 (2155 views)
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Re: [Abedy] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

 40+ years ago I told a student the toggles were, metal or plastic pieces. His were wood so he never touched them.
Blond (what else?) lands after her first jump and we ask her how she liked it. "liked what?" with the most innocent look on her face.
Guy with 43 jumps, still on level 2. Took 17 jumps to teach him to stand up on landing. Oh and he is a neurosurgeon.


rehmwa  (D 12816)

Jan 24, 2012, 12:37 PM
Post #270 of 309 (2097 views)
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I know the thread is all just supposedly good clean fun, but I find the concept of the thread ..... just "off" for a couple reasons.

I'll write one about the one of the more "heads up" students

I'm reserve side on a Cat A, the inside JM actually launched poorly with the student launching poorly). By the time the inside JM let go as agreed, I had a student on her back.

I go to flip her (this usually happens VERY immediately) and she looks me right in the eye and smiles: checks her altimeter: and then does a practice touch while on her back.

I flip her and the rest of the dive she aced

Love the composure, she was an infrequent student, but always did great.


Edit: the problem with "stupidest student stories" for me, is either:

the student just didn't get prepped very well, and that's not on the student, it's on me or my friends that prepped him.

or: the student just overloaded and I get a great ride and a lot of personal learning (my worst and likely on of the least 'bright' students ever was one of my most fun skydives ever, he REALLY made me work during the jump and, frankly, the debrief. I learned a ton)


(This post was edited by rehmwa on Jan 24, 2012, 12:57 PM)


dthames  (B 37674)

Jan 24, 2012, 3:08 PM
Post #271 of 309 (1988 views)
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"Okay, someone's got to bump this thread back to the top. Have we had no 'challenged' students since the last post?! "

Thanks, I would have not found this otherwise. This is the best yet!

Dan


riggerrob  (D 14840)

Jan 24, 2012, 5:21 PM
Post #272 of 309 (1914 views)
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Re: [jackwallace] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

"
In reply to:
40+ years ago I told a student the toggles were, metal or plastic pieces. His were wood so he never touched them...
"

.......................................................................

Reminds me of a student in Dunnville, Ontario. During ground school, they had him pantomine steering his canopy by pulling his right hand to hip level to turn right, etc.
After they tossed him out of the airplane, he seemed to ignore radio instructions as he drifted towards the swamp.
After they dragged him out of the swamp, they asked him if he heard the radio.
"Yes"
Then they asked him what he did with the steering toggles.
The student demonstrated moving his empty hands up and down!
Hah!
Hah!


popsjumper  (D 999999999)

Jan 24, 2012, 5:36 PM
Post #273 of 309 (1902 views)
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Re: [riggerrob] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Stupidest student was me.
I had no freakin' clue what I was getting myself into when I stepped off that DC3.


skyjumpenfool  (Student)

Jan 24, 2012, 7:22 PM
Post #274 of 309 (1838 views)
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In reply to:
Stupidest student was me.
I had no freakin' clue what I was getting myself into when I stepped off that DC3.

Sorry Pops.... I take the cake for stupidest student! I can prove it. Just watch my next jump. Wink


lurch  (D 27583)

Jan 24, 2012, 11:51 PM
Post #275 of 309 (1769 views)
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Re: [rehmwa] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

"she looks me right in the eye and smiles: checks her altimeter: and then does a practice touch while on her back."

RESPECT!

I want her phone number!


Abedy  (D 10153)

Jan 25, 2012, 9:36 AM
Post #276 of 309 (1879 views)
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In reply to:
Someone landed atop a palm tree, the only tree around for a hundred yards, naturally.

Something similar, found on the net years ago. See the mpeg, I put it temporarily on my website. Wink AFAIR I read the jumper didn't suffer any injuries apart from a bruised ego.


rehmwa  (D 12816)

Jan 25, 2012, 9:40 AM
Post #277 of 309 (1873 views)
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Re: [lurch] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
"she looks me right in the eye and smiles: checks her altimeter: and then does a practice touch while on her back."

RESPECT!

I want her phone number!

you do, she's gorgeous, athletic and very fun Laugh

(she's also married, has a couple kids, and doesn't jump regularly - so that might mitigate your interest...)


jclalor  (B 33202)

Jan 25, 2012, 9:47 AM
Post #278 of 309 (1868 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I had someone just off student status ask me what "tracking was"


riddler  (D 10234)

Jan 25, 2012, 4:28 PM
Post #279 of 309 (1799 views)
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Re: [jclalor] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I posted to this thread a long time ago, and have had a few "interesting" students since then. The ones I remember most are the ones that say funny things during the ground-school. Like one young woman (about 19 y/o), who prattled out something like this:

"What do we do when our 'chute doesn't open? Oh, I think we're supposed to cut it off, fly to the other guy and clip ourselves to that guy. Is that right?"

I swear that Hollywood puts these ideas in people's minds.


riggerrob  (D 14840)

Jan 25, 2012, 6:11 PM
Post #280 of 309 (1775 views)
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In reply to:
I posted to this thread a long time ago, and have had a few "interesting" students since then. The ones I remember most are the ones that say funny things during the ground-school. Like one young woman (about 19 y/o), who prattled out something like this:

"What do we do when our 'chute doesn't open? Oh, I think we're supposed to cut it off, fly to the other guy and clip ourselves to that guy. Is that right?"

I swear that Hollywood puts these ideas in people's minds.

...................................................................

A decade ago, I wondered what I did to get such a clumsy tandem student, until another instructor told me the full story ... after we landed!

He was teaching the first jump course to a bimbo. Whenever the he said something like: "If your main parachute does not open, look at the right side of your chest, watch your fingers wrap around the red handle, look at the silver handle and watch your fingers wrap around the silver handle ...," she would reply "But, I'll still be okay?"
After dancing through this routine a few times. my buddy said: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She:"But I''ll still get to jump by myself? Right?"
He:"Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She: "but I'll still be able to jump by myself? Right?"
He: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
Hah!
Hah!

In case anyone accuses me of mysogeny, I also use the word "bimbo" to describe young women who: cannot read maps, expect me to do all the heavy lifting, expect me to clean up the worst messes, expect me to pay all the bills, etc.
Can anyone suggest a similar word to describe young, male slackers?


airtwardo  (D License)

Jan 25, 2012, 6:22 PM
Post #281 of 309 (1783 views)
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Re: [riggerrob] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Can anyone suggest a similar word to describe young, male slackers?


In reply to:


BimBob...Wink


obelixtim  (D 84)

Jan 26, 2012, 12:29 AM
Post #282 of 309 (1741 views)
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Re: [rehmwa] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
Edit: the problem with "stupidest student stories" for me, is either:

the student just didn't get prepped very well, and that's not on the student, it's on me or my friends that prepped him.

I fully agree. Sometimes the stupidest student simply had the stupidest instructor. I've seen a few who must have got their rating out of a cereal box.....


skyjumpenfool  (Student)

Jan 26, 2012, 7:54 AM
Post #283 of 309 (1671 views)
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In reply to:
Quote:
Edit: the problem with "stupidest student stories" for me, is either:

the student just didn't get prepped very well, and that's not on the student, it's on me or my friends that prepped him.

I fully agree. Sometimes the stupidest student simply had the stupidest instructor. I've seen a few who must have got their rating out of a cereal box.....

Hey! That box said I'd be just fine if I sent in my nickel along with the box tops....Wink


format  (B 15348)

Jan 26, 2012, 8:14 AM
Post #284 of 309 (1657 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

 
Strange as it seems, no amount of learning training can cure stupidity, and higher education training positively fortifies it. - Stephen Vizinczey

Does this really work?


lurch  (D 27583)

Jan 26, 2012, 8:31 AM
Post #285 of 309 (1641 views)
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Re: [rehmwa] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

I can buy her more jumps... ain't got much money but for a woman like that, I'd find it... the married with kids part, thats a bit of a barrier, there I wouldn't mess with.
Bummer.
How come all the worlds truly badass women are all taken? Or, rather, have taken guys for themselves already.
Oh well, I betcha she makes a badass Mom.

What I wouldn't give to find my other half and discover she's got that much of a cool collected head on her shoulders... There is nothing more attractive than a woman with a mind like that.

*goes back to looking for one*
-B


Premier wmw999  (D 6296)

Jan 26, 2012, 8:32 AM
Post #286 of 309 (1639 views)
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Re: [format] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Nope. Generally the evaluation of "stupid" is a result of "he didn't learn what I taught, the way I taught it."

There's a whole host of reasons why that might be the case, all the way from fear, through physical clumsiness, different approach to problems from the teacher, with only a small percentage actually being stupid.

Wendy P.


airtwardo  (D License)

Jan 26, 2012, 8:55 AM
Post #287 of 309 (1626 views)
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Re: [lurch] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

What I wouldn't give to find my other half and discover she's got that much of a cool collected head on her shoulders... There is nothing more attractive than a woman with a mind like that.

In reply to:

I got one! Cool

Nuthin' keeps ya on yer toes like a woman with more balls than you have! Wink


lurch  (D 27583)

Jan 26, 2012, 9:23 AM
Post #288 of 309 (1608 views)
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Re: [airtwardo] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

AMEN! (Rub it in old man, why don'cha.)
Cool


robinheid  (D 5533)

Jan 26, 2012, 1:53 PM
Post #289 of 309 (1520 views)
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Re: [zoobrothertom] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
In reply to:
ok lets have some good laughs.
im hosting this years dumbest student awards. lets hear your candidates story.
this years prize is a set of golfclubs.
-------------------------
Okay, someone's got to bump this thread back to the top. Have we had no 'challenged' students since the last post?!

I'll reboot it with a story of my own. Oh, BTW, you know I was an awesome student! Oh, sure....

At Ft. Lewis Washington in summer of '82 I was ready for my first clear and pull from a Chinook Helicopter, CH-47. I get the go and bunny hopped off the tailgate. I actually did a good hop and pop. The fun starts under 300 feet.

As I'm drifting under my MC-1B, 35 foot round with steering toggles, I'm still holding my ripchord. As I drift over the windsock at about 100', I dropped my ripchord (in reality, I was tired of holding it and thought I could try a little impact accuracy with it) and almost hit the windsock.

Oh no, the newby fun is not over. I drifted past the LZ and into the biggest fucking christmas tree I've ever seen. I hit it ass first about 20 feet up. The tree collasped into a slide and I slid down it to a perfect standup landing.

So, Pvt. Garrison was on the hook for 3 cases of beer. First freefall, Dropping the ripchord and First standup landing. I ponyied up (how the hell do you spell Pony+ed) with a small keg and just smiled.

Okay, there are several years of stupidity missing here.

Pony Up!!

Same jump except completely different. First freefall, June 1972, Raeford, NC, hop and pop, 28-foot 7-TU round. Didn't drop the ripcord, but drifted past the landing area into pine trees. Small trees, parachute hung in four of them, I did a standup landing in between. Three cases of beer: first freefall, first tree landing, first standup.

Cool
44


format  (B 15348)

Jan 26, 2012, 2:23 PM
Post #290 of 309 (1502 views)
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In reply to:
Three cases of beer: first freefall, first tree landing, first standup.

Now that's a student worth training!


yeyo  (D 32048)

Jan 26, 2012, 2:52 PM
Post #291 of 309 (1485 views)
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Re: stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

This one has to be on the top 5 stupidest ever...

It was on her AFF level 1. Everything looked fine, good exit, good freefall, good altitude aware etc etc. So she opens her parachute and she is hanging around in the holding area and everything seemed fine until its time to start the usual student landing pattern...then she cutaway about 1000' Pirate

She landed fine under the reserve and her excuse was: "I was going too slow and it was taking forever to get to the ground"

She got the "speech" and never came back.


obelixtim  (D 84)

Jan 26, 2012, 11:03 PM
Post #292 of 309 (1424 views)
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Re: [wmw999] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
Nope. Generally the evaluation of "stupid" is a result of "he didn't learn what I taught, the way I taught it."

There's a whole host of reasons why that might be the case, all the way from fear, through physical clumsiness, different approach to problems from the teacher, with only a small percentage actually being stupid.

There is the saying, (which is true, sometimes) "If the student didn't learn, maybe the teacher didn't teach".

Many instructors have no training in teaching and learning techniques, and its something that needs to be incorporated into instructor training. Knowing the content, and knowing how to impart it, are two different things.


(This post was edited by obelixtim on Jan 26, 2012, 11:24 PM)


airtwardo  (D License)

Jan 27, 2012, 1:42 AM
Post #293 of 309 (1400 views)
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Re: [obelixtim] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

 
There is the saying, (which is true, sometimes) "If the student didn't learn, maybe the teacher didn't teach".

Many instructors have no training in teaching and learning techniques, and its something that needs to be incorporated into instructor training. Knowing the content, and knowing how to impart it, are two different things.
I knew a guy that 'had it' in spades. Wink

He's moved on now, but a while back there was an AFFI at the local DZ that just absolutely amazed me.

This guy had some innate ability to relate to people in a way I've never seen a 'teacher' do, he'd size 'em up and get on their wavelength like no one I've witnessed in my time jumping.

Professional as they come...I use to like to just watch and listen to him bring a n00b along, never saw a 'bad' student in this guys hands.

In the aircraft he was 'at the office' and the only thing missing was a briefcase & tie. I know some good instructors, this guy was a GREAT one.



I guess he was having some health problems and went to something less physical, too bad...I told him once he could always make a living teaching the teachers HOW to teach...and not have to jump. Cool


Andrewwhyte  (C 1988)

Jan 27, 2012, 1:57 AM
Post #294 of 309 (1396 views)
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Re: [riggerrob] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
A decade ago, I wondered what I did to get such a clumsy tandem student, until another instructor told me the full story ... after we landed!

He was teaching the first jump course to a bimbo. Whenever the he said something like: "If your main parachute does not open, look at the right side of your chest, watch your fingers wrap around the red handle, look at the silver handle and watch your fingers wrap around the silver handle ...," she would reply "But, I'll still be okay?"
After dancing through this routine a few times. my buddy said: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She:"But I''ll still get to jump by myself? Right?"
He:"Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
She: "but I'll still be able to jump by myself? Right?"
He: "Let me introduce you to our best tandem instructor."
Hah!
Hah!

In case anyone accuses me of mysogeny, I also use the word "bimbo" to describe young women who: cannot read maps, expect me to do all the heavy lifting, expect me to clean up the worst messes, expect me to pay all the bills, etc.
Can anyone suggest a similar word to describe young, male slackers?

lol I remember her. At some point when I kept telling her how great Rob was she, in I am sure was one of her more lucid moments of the day, said, "you're not giving me a choice are you?"
When class resumed the other students tried to get me to wait as there was one missing. When I said she was going to do a tandem everyone was very relieved.


jclalor  (B 33202)

Jan 27, 2012, 4:26 AM
Post #295 of 309 (1370 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

This one deserves an honerable mention;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rn1OI25bH4


trigger  (D 101390)

Jan 27, 2012, 8:54 AM
Post #296 of 309 (1287 views)
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Re: [jclalor] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson


skyrider  (D 14710)

Jan 27, 2012, 10:17 AM
Post #297 of 309 (1248 views)
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Re: [trigger] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson

Sir Richard has come close to death in several sports!~


hookitt  (D License)

Jan 27, 2012, 10:33 AM
Post #298 of 309 (1234 views)
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Re: [jclalor] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
This one deserves an honerable mention;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rn1OI25bH4

Not sure I agree with that one. It wasn't great but that's why Ripcord training shouldn't happen. I believe she was initially trained with ripcords.

Once I finally convinced our DZO to quit using ripcords, this type of problem stopped.


hookitt  (D License)

Jan 27, 2012, 10:40 AM
Post #299 of 309 (1227 views)
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Re: [trigger] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson

That's a great example of why certain changes were made. Chest mount altimeters are such a bad Idea with student skydivers.

Arch Look Reach Pull was changed to Arch Reach Pull ... with whatever variance you wish to add but no looking.

That's about all the detail I care to go into from that video. It's fun to watch but the student wasn't that dumb. The equipment has changed because of that exact scenario.

edit: close the underline tag from the previous post :)


(This post was edited by hookitt on Jan 27, 2012, 10:41 AM)


riggerrob  (D 14840)

Jan 28, 2012, 12:43 PM
Post #300 of 309 (1124 views)
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Re: [trigger] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson

........................................................................

That student was lucky that his left riser did not tear his reserve container off his back!


Tsynique  (B 2202)

Feb 15, 2012, 7:06 AM
Post #301 of 309 (1523 views)
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Re: [trigger] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Not been following this thread too closely but worth a watch if not already posted.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90yNsoCeORQ
Virgin boss Richard Branson
Was the song we hear in the background created especially for this video? :D


(This post was edited by Tsynique on Feb 15, 2012, 7:07 AM)


Quagmirian  (A 110392)

Feb 16, 2012, 1:55 PM
Post #302 of 309 (1345 views)
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Re: [thelem] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
1) The student who chopped because the canopy was the wrong colour. All the photos were of red white and blue canopies, so what an orange white and green (or whatever) canopy appeared he decided he wanted another one...
Yes, thankyou, I almost did that on my very first jump! Out of all the things that were going on, it was the colour of the canopy that completely threw me.


popsjumper  (D 999999999)

Feb 16, 2012, 5:21 PM
Post #303 of 309 (1311 views)
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Re: [Quagmirian] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Maybe not stupid, but scary...

AFF Level 1 student cuts away a perfectly good canopy at about 2K.

AFFI: Why did you do that?
She: I couldn't get the slider to go back up.
AFFI: What about the reserve slider?
She: I was scared!


Does anyone remember the vid of the student who ran into the volleyball net?

I seem to remember a post a long time back that had two pics attached....
-one was an aerial view of a DZ, presumably in the mid-west where there was nothing but open fields around
-the second of a student in the one tree for miles around.


fcajump  (D 15598)

Feb 17, 2012, 7:01 AM
Post #304 of 309 (1223 views)
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Re: [Quagmirian] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
In reply to:
1) The student who chopped because the canopy was the wrong colour. All the photos were of red white and blue canopies, so what an orange white and green (or whatever) canopy appeared he decided he wanted another one...
Yes, thankyou, I almost did that on my very first jump! Out of all the things that were going on, it was the colour of the canopy that completely threw me.
My first reserve ride (hard/no pull main), all proceeded as I was trained until I had finished checking the reserve (square Fury)... I reached a stage of... "OK, now what?" For some reason, I could not make sense of those red things on the back of the risers... I had no idea that the toggles would ever be anything but yellow.Blush

After a few seconds I clued in and got back in the game.

To this day, I like to show my rigging customers what their canopy, lines, risers and steering toggles look like so they have a clue when/if they need to use it.

JW


shah269  (A 59581)

Feb 17, 2012, 7:40 AM
Post #305 of 309 (1214 views)
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Re: [fcajump] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

Anyone ever have a student that just didn't ask any questions?

That can't be too smart right?

I know I ask way too many, what is this, what is that...how does this work, what if i do that what if I do this?

What would you rather have?


elduderino  (Student)

Feb 17, 2012, 8:09 AM
Post #306 of 309 (1201 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

AFF Course,....student fucked up ever single lesson,....was unbeliveble,...did not know the difference between right and left, tryed to pump up the slider in the vertical trainer ect.,....
even intense training did not worked,....
first we where seeking the hidden camera because we thought we getting filmed for "pranked" or something,...

in the end after he asked if he can jump now and the instructor told him:
" yeah man,...you will jump today!!!
you are one of the most awesome students ever!!,...so you dont NEED 2 instructors on AFF level 1,....you are so good that you only NEED 1 instructor!!!".....
...and then introduced him to a pretty anoyed Tandemmaster,...Wink


flightmonkey  (A 61825)

Apr 12, 2012, 6:07 PM
Post #307 of 309 (889 views)
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Re: [tattoojeff] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

On my first coach jump (#10), I lost altitude awareness and pulled about 1000 ft low. Decided I wasn't going to make it back to the DZ, so I found a nice long field to land in, turned in for an upwind landing, and at that point casually noted the gazebo full of stacks of plastic chairs and folding tables, and the swimming pool taking up some valuable landing space.

Needless to say, the people in the pool were not impressed when I smacked into the gazebo mid-flare, knocking over a few piles of chairs, and tangling my canopy up over the top of it (no injuries woo!). The farmer who owned the field rolled down on his tractor and told me about his visions for a world where skydivers didn't land in his (damn) fields all the time. Sorry dude! Luckily DZ some staff rolled up right then to smooth things out, nothing like a cute lady can turn an old redneck's frown upside-down that quick!

My next off landing a few jumps later went much better Wink


dks13827  (C 9293)

Apr 12, 2012, 7:13 PM
Post #308 of 309 (854 views)
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Re: [Dagny] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
i can't believe that guy seriously went on tv to tell this story and its really wrong that tv producers didn't have an instructor there to publicly address his stupidity!

Some people just won't die no matter how hard they try.

My fave is watching him float into power lines with all that open field beside him!
That idiot is a lawyer in So. Cal now... when some jumpers emailed him about being a dope he replied:
F - - - YOU !!!! Smile


stayhigh  (F 111)

Apr 12, 2012, 9:04 PM
Post #309 of 309 (807 views)
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Re: [dks13827] stupidest student ever? [In reply to] Can't Post

wow, the guy is really a lawyer.
being smart has nothing to do with skydiving,
you just gotta have common sense.

like don't fucking fly into a power line.



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