Forums: Skydiving: General Skydiving Discussions:
Meat and 2 veg.

 


BloominOnion12  (A License)

Feb 12, 2013, 11:14 AM
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Meat and 2 veg. Can't Post

Hi all, after accomplishing AFF at the end of fall (and loving it), I have a desire to skydive naked when weather warms up and join SANS to add to my record book. I think it would be real exciting, but was wanting some input on what experienced people have done with their meat and 2 veg. during this? I now it will be dancing around like a wind sock in a hurricane, I though of tucking 'it' in to the leg strap where the excess goes or tucking it with a stow rubber band. I dont want to be damage from this so any help would be well taken.


thrillstalker  (C 40678)

Feb 12, 2013, 11:25 AM
Post #2 of 37 (3732 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

you also need to think of the landing. if you dont have a perfect stand up you might fuck your shit up pretty bad. road rash on your ass doesnt sound very appealing to me.


dirty_red  (A 64389)

Feb 12, 2013, 11:28 AM
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

It's a blast. Just let it fly free. It's not going to go anywhere, and tucking anything into a leg strap sounds like a bad idea. Opening shock might be a bit painful.

Blue Skies, make sure you stand that one up!


airtwardo  (D License)

Feb 12, 2013, 11:37 AM
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

 
Think temperature @ altitude & shrinkage...things will take care of themselves!

DO NOT tuck in the leg strap...it'll turn a snake into an eel ~ real QUICK! Sly


skydude2000  (B 5843)

Feb 12, 2013, 11:52 AM
Post #5 of 37 (3677 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

When I did mine, I had to tie it up so I didn't step on it, running out the landing Sly


airdvr  (D 10977)

Feb 12, 2013, 12:51 PM
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Re: [skydude2000] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

I guess we'll need to know if it's a polska keilbasa or a cocktail weiny.


skinnay

Feb 12, 2013, 1:36 PM
Post #7 of 37 (3580 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

pop a few viagra and you got nothing to worry about.


rifleman  (Student)

Feb 12, 2013, 2:50 PM
Post #8 of 37 (3527 views)
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Re: [skinnay] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
pop a few viagra and you got nothing to worry about.

apart from face planting and pole vaulting yourself into the bar


FlyingRhenquest  (B 37920)

Feb 12, 2013, 4:15 PM
Post #9 of 37 (3455 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Just take some duct-tape and tape them up into a neat little package! You can add a little more duct tape for aerodynamic styling! It'll just pull right off when you're done!

I pity the guys you're between on the ride up, though...


sky12345

Feb 12, 2013, 4:33 PM
Post #10 of 37 (3440 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

if u have hemorrhoids just do a sitfly

its a perfect cure
i guarantee it or your hemorrhoids back


SansSuit  (D 21554)

Feb 12, 2013, 7:02 PM
Post #11 of 37 (3377 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
I though of tucking 'it' in to the leg strap where the excess goes or tucking it with a stow rubber band.
BAD idea. As a matter of fact, Naked jumping rule number 1 is to make sure NOTHING is beneath a leg strap. Why?
.
Because .... You can always cut away from a line-over. But you can't cut away from a nut-under!


Fearjoburg  (A 7079)

Feb 13, 2013, 12:20 AM
Post #12 of 37 (3288 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Get permission to land in front of the bar. Wink


potatoman  (Student)

Feb 13, 2013, 3:53 AM
Post #13 of 37 (3218 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

SlySlySly

If you reckon it is long enough to get entagled into the risers, please tuck it away. Sure you would not want a cutaway from that.

Else, let it be just that, a naked jump.


Bloomin0nion12  (A License)

Feb 13, 2013, 7:38 AM
Post #14 of 37 (3143 views)
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Re: [potatoman] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Yes, I didnt think of landing, about .5 of my landings have been stand up and some slide in. still it would be on grass, but I hope i would not land off dropzone! but no not cocktail weenie more like hilshire farm.
I was concerned because i went to tunnel before aff and i got on my knees in tunnel near net and the junk was flapping bad and painfull so I thought it would do this in the sky. Anyways I hope to be on load with my aff instructor when i attempt because she was pretty and hope to impress. maybe viagra would be good idea! thanks all


potatoman  (Student)

Feb 13, 2013, 9:31 PM
Post #15 of 37 (2953 views)
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Re: [Bloomin0nion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Sly You are funny. How you gonna get out the door with a pole in the way. Also, viagra only works with old farts, so the impress thing.......


skydive1234

Feb 13, 2013, 9:52 PM
Post #16 of 37 (2943 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Wow...thats a real thing...with the website and everything...huh?

I have never heard testicles been called 'veg' or '2 veg'...whats that about?

Is there a
In reply to:
society for joining the mile high club while skyidving...tht ever been documented as actually happening?


rifleman  (Student)

Feb 14, 2013, 1:20 AM
Post #17 of 37 (2895 views)
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Re: [skydive1234] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Wow...thats a real thing...with the website and everything...huh?

I have never heard testicles been called 'veg' or '2 veg'...whats that about?

Is there a
In reply to:
society for joining the mile high club while skyidving...tht ever been documented as actually happening?

The canteen cook and his lover
Lay down behind a thick hedge
Along came his wife
With a long handled knife
And cut off his meat and two veg

(IIRC Benny Hill)


ChrisD  (No License)

Feb 14, 2013, 7:28 AM
Post #18 of 37 (2847 views)
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Re: [rifleman] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Smile

With a handle like "rifleman" you have never heard of: meat and potatos, giggle stick, tallywacker, etc, etc,...Wink

O'h why couldn't the original poster be of the opposite sex?????????

And want to post this on utube or something, Ya I know typical guy, but I got money that only 2 or 3 females actually read this posting....


rifleman  (Student)

Feb 14, 2013, 8:48 AM
Post #19 of 37 (2817 views)
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Re: [ChrisD] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

I've heard them all and a lot worse - the person who hadn't was the poster above me - skydive1234.


ChrisD  (No License)

Feb 14, 2013, 10:05 AM
Post #20 of 37 (2783 views)
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Re: [rifleman] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Pirate

Sorry me bad,

It's tough typing on this thing with these little buttons! I am irish by the way, you english bstardSmileSmile, and you won't find me naked, there's just not that much to hide...Smile You might say, considering this post, i'm going to go hungry...


missbrz  (B License)

Feb 14, 2013, 3:48 PM
Post #21 of 37 (2725 views)
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Re: [ChrisD] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
but I got money that only 2 or 3 females actually read this posting....

Actually I read the whole thing & thought it was funny. Thanks for the giggle boys Wink

I vote let it free! It's not naked if you're covered Tongue


oldwomanc6

Feb 14, 2013, 4:44 PM
Post #22 of 37 (2706 views)
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Re: [missbrz] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
In reply to:
but I got money that only 2 or 3 females actually read this posting....

Actually I read the whole thing & thought it was funny. Thanks for the giggle boys Wink

I vote let it free! It's not naked if you're covered Tongue

+1

meat and

+2

veggies. Tongue


rifleman  (Student)

Feb 15, 2013, 3:50 AM
Post #23 of 37 (2648 views)
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Re: [ChrisD] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Pirate

Sorry me bad,

It's tough typing on this thing with these little buttons! I am irish by the way, you english bstardSmileSmile, and you won't find me naked, there's just not that much to hide...Smile You might say, considering this post, i'm going to go hungry...

No problems,

By the way, less of the english Smile I'm a Scot who happens to live in Wales Wink. True, I was raised in Yorkshire which makes me one of the most tight-fisted people on the face of the planetCoolCool


fencebuster  (D 29918)

Feb 15, 2013, 5:17 AM
Post #24 of 37 (2624 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

I made my 100th and 200th naked. Both jumps were during the summer. Don't tuck anything under leg straps; let the stuff fly free. Tie a pair of gym shorts to your leg strap in case of an off-DZ landing; you don't want to get arrested for indecent exposure if you land off. Stand up the landing . . . .


JackJ  (C 105350)

Feb 15, 2013, 5:25 AM
Post #25 of 37 (2617 views)
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Re: [fencebuster] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

On butt naked lobs, i've always worn a pair of boxers in the plane over the legstraps and also taken part of the lining foam out of my helmet.

Then when you get to altitude, give the gentleman sausage a little rub so it looks a little bit more respectable, take the boxers off and put them in your helmet where the foam normally is.

After the lob, take off the helmet and put the boxers back on!

Job done...


airtwardo  (D License)

Feb 15, 2013, 5:54 AM
Post #26 of 37 (952 views)
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Re: [JackJ] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
On butt naked lobs, i've always worn a pair of boxers in the plane over the legstraps and also taken part of the lining foam out of my helmet.

Then when you get to altitude, give the gentleman sausage a little rub so it looks a little bit more respectable, take the boxers off and put them in your helmet where the foam normally is.

After the lob, take off the helmet and put the boxers back on!

Job done...

My helmet ain't big enough! Tongue


manseman  (D License)

Feb 15, 2013, 6:08 AM
Post #27 of 37 (945 views)
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Re: [JackJ] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
On butt naked lobs, i've always worn a pair of boxers in the plane over the legstraps and also taken part of the lining foam out of my helmet.

Then when you get to altitude, give the gentleman sausage a little rub so it looks a little bit more respectable, take the boxers off and put them in your helmet where the foam normally is.

After the lob, take off the helmet and put the boxers back on!

Job done...
Haha, yes. Put your boxers on your head and rub your junk on the ride up.

Seriously, the correct way is to wrap yourself in toilet paper and light it on fire as you leave the plane. Just be careful not to get a boner as that will increase your wingload a lot.


Mr_Polite  (D 420)

Feb 15, 2013, 6:23 AM
Post #28 of 37 (934 views)
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Re: [airtwardo] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

A Mr Bill with a naked women (or man if you're into that). This way after you finish you can just drop her 1000's of feet, way better than kicking a women out of your bed :)


Bloomin0nion12  (A License)

Feb 15, 2013, 9:24 AM
Post #29 of 37 (907 views)
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Re: [Mr_Polite] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

See i have got alot of info from dropzone, this is what its for no matter what the question. Alot of humor too! I might should have said twig and berries might have been more understandable for some, but I like the idea of shorts in helmet to have for when I land, I will try my best to stand it up. haha i dont want to be sitting there rubbing junk in the airplane it might seem like weird or perv or something, what if tandems were on the load...unless it was just me and the female aff instructor on plane might be different story! If it goes well i cant wait to learn sitfly and stand fly i can do this naked too for different results!


ChrisD  (No License)

Feb 15, 2013, 1:40 PM
Post #30 of 37 (866 views)
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Re: [Bloomin0nion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Smile

The really scarey thing about your comment:

"...haha i dont want to be sitting there rubbing junk in the airplane it might seem like weird or perv or something..."

is that it might not be that out of normal. Some of us have been on loads, that I wonder if anyone would notice? Unsure


BigBUG  (D License)

Feb 16, 2013, 11:04 PM
Post #31 of 37 (810 views)
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Re: [ChrisD] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

best thing I ever see in naked jumps is engine malfunction and emergency jump 5 kilometers away from DZ in not-so-hot-late-summer day.

18 guys and 2 girls on board weren't so excited when we managed to get them all back couple of hours later. Never see anyone from this load even talking about jump naked again.

good luck.


HHypoxic

Feb 18, 2013, 6:59 AM
Post #32 of 37 (702 views)
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Re: [skydive1234] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Is there a society for joining the mile high club while skyidving...tht ever been documented as actually happening?

You should round up 7 more like minded people and try for one of these!

http://www.dropzone.com/...5843;guest=103892881

http://www.dropzone.com/...h=25;guest=104123151


waveoff5500  (D 32087)

Feb 18, 2013, 11:11 AM
Post #33 of 37 (643 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

hurts a bit while tracking, and then a quick hand to legstrap check to make sure you dont suffer a nut under malfunction is recommended! super fun


labrys  (D 29848)

Feb 18, 2013, 12:57 PM
Post #34 of 37 (625 views)
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Re: [waveoff5500] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

Quote:
hurts a bit while tracking, and then a quick hand to legstrap check to make sure you dont suffer a nut under malfunction is recommended! super fun

Do I have to be reminded what you did to my rig?

Tongue


waveoff5500  (D 32087)

Feb 18, 2013, 2:10 PM
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Re: [labrys] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

yes! absolutely...but i kept it clean! TongueCoolWink


DrewEckhardt  (D 28461)

Feb 18, 2013, 2:55 PM
Post #36 of 37 (599 views)
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Re: [BloominOnion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

In reply to:
Hi all, after accomplishing AFF at the end of fall (and loving it), I have a desire to skydive naked when weather warms up and join SANS to add to my record book. I think it would be real exciting, but was wanting some input on what experienced people have done with their meat and 2 veg. during this?

Let it hang.

Just make sure your leg straps are tight enough nothing can slip under them.

Don't land out and don't botch the landing.


(This post was edited by DrewEckhardt on Feb 18, 2013, 2:57 PM)


BoatguyNate  (A 60426)

Mar 14, 2013, 5:30 PM
Post #37 of 37 (476 views)
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Re: [Bloomin0nion12] Meat and 2 veg. [In reply to] Can't Post

50% aren't odds I like in my favor if it involved my "area."



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