Jimmy Coiner sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled freeflying ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Jimmy Swoop-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Jimmy Coiner smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes
A rogue squirrel once challenged Jimmy Coiner to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Jimmy simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children. Jimmy knows you can't find bigger, better nuts than that.
How come Eminem didn’t have blonde hair during 8-Mile? Because when Jimmy Coiner found out that Em was going to make a shitty movie, he round-house kicked him so hard in the face that the peroxide fell out of Em’s head.